Category Archives: Nature vs. Nurture

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, on what’s instinctive to someone, may not be instinctive to another, and we shouldn’t, judge one another based off of what we know!  Translated…

Can’t believe they’re, learning to swim, what do they learn in learning to swim, isn’t that supposed to be, instinct?

Nope.

the artwork that came with the passage, off of UDN.com

Not at all.

By this “conversation”, we can tell, how we lacked respect for what each other has, that we make judgments of one another based off of our personal experiences, and the thing is, everybody has different experiences in life, just because it’s something you know, that doesn’t mean, that everybody knows it too…

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Nature vs. Nurture, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Values

As Nature Made Us

We are, who we are, because we are born, the way we are, right???  But, what IF, we feel, that we’d been born, into the wrong bodies?  Then, we’d have, a HELL of a time, trying, to suppress that small voice on the inside of us, telling us, we should be opposite of who we are, as children, then, as we grew older, we’d had to, DEAL with ALL those OUTSIDE noises, telling us, to BE who we turn out to be.

As nature made us, BUT, what if, I was, a mistake, a mishap, a freak of nature, that just wasn’t, ABORTED in time?  As nature made us, but, don’t socialization play a part of shaping us into who we become too?

As nature made us, well, NOT ALL of us are supposed to be here as we currently are, we are, the outcomes of our external relationships with the world, after all, we are, a social group of organisms, aren’t we?

As nature made us, tell that to those children who felt they were born into the wrong bodies since they were younger, those who had to deal with the incongruence of their feelings, versus how they actually appear, and tell me, that that, is NOT pressure enough, and yet, these “gender-unspecific” kids are forced, to conform to being either male OR female, is that fair?  Of course N-O-T!!!

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Using Violence to Discipline, Causing Children to Behave More Oddly

Research showed, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Worked hard, to raise the children up, and, how can the child become murderer of the parents?  The scholars who’d researched into the matter believed, that it was caused by the children’s anti-social personality characteristics; but the psychiatrists believed, that the environment has a great effect.

The past two days, there were news of children murdering parents, and, the cold-blooded behaviors of the children are shocking to the world.  “This type of people is not the minorities in the world”, the professor from the Counseling Department of the Changhwa Teacher’s University, Kuo stated, everything is based off of the self, think of only oneself, didn’t care who one hurts, and don’t think that one’s actions can cause pains to others, the mistakes are all in “they don’t understand me, they don’t comply with my demands.”

Wang, the psychiatrist from the Changhwa Christian Hospital took the examples of the literature from foreign sources, suggested the parents to especially watch the diets of the children before age five, because enough nutrients can help the brains developed properly, to prevent the neurons from malnourished, causing problems in impulse control, don’t use violence to discipline, so “the violence will causing children with a predisposition to behave even abnormally.”

And so, it’s all the parents fault, sure, there may have been a predisposition to violence in the lives of young children, but, NOT all children who were exposed in violence turn out violently, and, it’s all in the nurturing of one’s young here.

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Without the Darkness in His Past, He Couldn’t Have Produced Such Inspirational Works

Without the darkness in his past, he couldn’t have produced such inspirational works, I know, it’s odd, how someone with such a dark past, can produce so much brightness in his work, right???

But, perhaps, it’s because of ALL that darkness, that enveloped his past, that he felt compelled, to produce those works of light, who knows.  One thing’s for sure though, his work had, inspired a lot of people, helped a lot of lost souls find the light.

Without the darkness of his past, he couldn’t have produced such inspirational work, he’d managed, to turn his own life around, and left it all, behind.  His “former” life was filled with, a TON of uneasiness, a lot of pain, suffering, discomfort he can’t run from, and so, he’d faced them all, HEAD-ON.

And now, he’s out of the dark, and he’s using his own experiences, battling with the addictions, the pains, to help others, hoping, that his life can be something that motivated others.

It’s just, hard to imagine, that someone, whose work is filled with so much hope, so much goodness, came from this awful a past, and, after knowing this, his audience applauded him even louder, because we ALL know how hard it is, to overcome, and he did, MORE than that already!

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Is the Child’s Oversensitivity a Behavior Problem?

So this, is what the parents have to cope with, with a way-too-sensitive child at home, huh???  Translated…

“Your daughter is so very quiet—have you ever considered, taking her to the doctors?”

“Jody is so easily hurt.  If she sees that other children were picked on, she’d cried too.  When she’d heard sad stories, she’d cry.  We don’t know what to do with her.”

“Everybody in the kindergarten is eager to participate in group activities, but, your son just refused.  Is he also this stubborn at home too?”

Do these lines sound familiar?  Of course, these words can get to you, as if, your kid’s the one with the problems, but, your child has a keen sense of observation, shows a lot of care and concerns toward others, and is very sensitive.  You knew real well, that if you heed these words, forced him to get socialized, the child would be in a whole lot of pain.  And, if you go with the flow of your child’s personality characteristics, s/he might be well-off.  And still, as the same words keep coming up, you’d started doubting, whether or not you’re fitting as a parent, and that you might be responsible, for your child, behaving the way s/he does.

How to Education Children Who are Too Sensitive?

You feared, that you may be doing things wrong, worried that no one can help you.  You might have already realized, that most of the parenting books all talked about “behavioral problems”, such as getting agitated easily, distracted, rough, attacking.  From this angle, there’s NOTHING wrong with your child.  There were NO mentions of the problems you’d encountered, eating problems, being too shy, nightmares, worries, and, strong emotional outburst, for no apparent reasons at all.  And, you couldn’t discipline your child using normal methods, even IF you’d just criticized her/him lightly, your child would have a complete meltdown.

The Words of Advice from the Experts:

When people tell you, that something IS wrong with your child, don’t believe them, and don’t LET your child believe them either.  Your child is UNIQUE, that, is not your fault.  Naturally, there would be room for improvement in parent-child interaction techniques, but, don’t ever believe that something IS wrong with you, or your offspring.

Based off of studies, fifteen to twenty percent of the children in the population are born naturally sensitive.  And, with this great number, it’s hardly “abnormal”.  Besides, in ALL the species that’s been studied, there are JUST as high records of individuals in the population that are this sensitive.  And, IF that, is the result of evolution, then, there MUST be a reason for it, we just can’t see it is all.

There are many evidence that suggests, that people who are highly sensitive are NOT necessarily shy, nor are they all neurotic OR anxious all the time, or even, depressed.  For some of the more sensitive members of the population, these emotional responses are caused by environmental stimuli, NOT inborn traits.

What, is a Heightened Level of Sensitivity?

People who have a heightened level of sensitivity are more aware of the details in their surrounding environment, and, before they acted, they’d think, thoroughly first before they took the actions.  Whether it be adults or children, those who are sensitive usually have a higher level of empathy, more intelligent, has strong instincts, with creativity, more careful, with a lot of conscience.

They understood better, the result of their own actions, and so, they’re less willing, to do the wrong things.  They couldn’t cope well with higher volumes of sounds, or an influx of information coming to them at any given time.  They would avoid these stimuli, which makes them appear shy or distant from others.  If they couldn’t avoid the circumstances of being under too many stimuli, then, they’d become “difficult to deal with”, or “way too sensitive”.

Although those who are deemed more sensitive pay attention to the details more, but, they may not have a better sense of sight, hearing, taste, or smell.  But, there are those with a better ability in one of their sensory organs.  The key point here, is that when their brains processed the information, they do it more thoroughly.  Not just their brains, those who are deemed more sensitive also have a stronger spinal reflex too.  Their immune systems are more active, they are prone to develop allergic reactions to things.  Which means, that their bodies are designed, to understand and observe this world even MORE thoroughly.

So, just because your kid cries a lot, or wouldn’t play in groups, PARENTS and TEACHERS, that still doesn’t mean that there IS something wrong with the kid, something IS wrong, with Y-O-U, stupid adult, who work so totally FUCKING (oopsy!!!) hard, to FIT all those little ones, inside just ONE square, but hey, some of us are rectangles, triangles, rhombi, circles, along with an ASSORTMENT of shapes AND sizes, and, we still DON’T just FIT properly to the “norm” (whatever THAT is!!!), so STOP trying to FIT your young INTO certain boxes, and just love them for the way that they are, after all, they still did NOT ask to be BROUGHT to the “outside world”, you two ADULTS are the ones to have FUCKED, and, out still popped???  Oh yeah, those “pretty little MISTAKES” of yours, remember?  Uh, YEAH, and, D-U-H!!!

 

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How Did a Little Boy Who Dreamed of Becoming a Soccer Star End Up as a Primary Jihadi Terrorist After He’s Grown?

Story by: A. Jamieson, for NBCNEWS.com, with the “discussion” afterwards by ME!!!

LONDON – Masked executioner Jihadi John, who the global face of ISIS, was a sports-obsessed 10-year-old who liked Manchester United, PlayStation game Duke Nukem and listening to teen pop bands.

Mohammed Emwazi, who has beheaded Western hostages including Americans James Foley and Stephen Sotloff, wrote about his childhood dreams in an elementary school yearbook.

The 26-year-old London-raised college graduate was unmasked Thursday as the mystery figure in the ISIS propaganda videos.

“What I want to be when I grow up is a footballer,” the future killer wrote in the St Magdalene’s Church of England yearbook dating to 1996.

Asked where he thought he would be when he was 30, Emwazi added: “I will be in a football team and scoring a goal.”

He was also a fan of British band S Club 7.

One of Emwazi’s former teachers described him as a “diligent, hardworking, lovely young man” who was responsible, polite and quiet.

“There was never any indication of any kind of violence at all,” said the teacher, who spoke anonymously to NBC News’ partner Channel 4.

So, you still have to contemplate, ponder, as to W-H-Y, or even H-O-W, this little boy, raised, under quite “normal circumstances” (whatever “normal” means!!!) can become so EVIL, but, we can only speculate, that, something MUST’VE gone wrong in his growing up processes, but, we don’t know for sure, and, this time, perhaps, “nature” played a bigger role, or perhaps, not, nobody will EVER know!

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Adverse Environmental Effect

Welcome, to the NURTURE “segment” of the “show”…

These are the adverse environmental effects of our lives, we will be, whether or not we admit to ourselves, BE affected by the way the world works, because we are still, a very social species.  We rely on one another, to verify our own purposes, to validate our existences, and, if we don’t get the verifications or the validations we need, then, we don’t develop correctly.

Adverse environmental effects, NOBODY can dodge it, I mean, let’s face it, unless, you’re still, STUCK inside of YO mamas’ wombs, there’s NO way you can fight OFF the adverse effects from the environment outside of you.

Adverse environmental effects, they’re hurting us, and, we are, affected by how others feel about, say to us, and there’s just NO way, we can, keep ALL the noises O-U-T, because we are a very social animal, and, we thrive on interactions with the outside world.

So, there is, NO way you can dodge the consequences of these adverse environmental effects, unless, unless you can TUNE the world out, and, get TUNED into yourselves, like I’m still currently doing right now………

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Raised by Your Abuse & Her Neglect

I was, raised by your abuse and her neglect, and, I was hurt a lot as a child, just as you were too, and yet, you weren’t wise enough, to KNOW how to treat me right! Are you FUCKING retarded???

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, and look how well I’d done, growin’ up. Raised by your abuse and her neglect, I would’ve hoped for better parents growing up, but seeing how NOBODY gets the first selection of who they were born to…

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, and now, I’m all grown up, and, I will N-E-V-E-R, EVER, EVER, E-V-E-R, allow this pain, this betrayal I’d experienced, to get passed down, to this next generation in MY freakin’ god DAMN bloodline legacy.

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, how could you? Abuse and neglect your own offspring, and call it love?  And, just because you never had the good kinds of parents who loved you unconditionally, doesn’t give you the R-I-G-H-T, to NOT love me unconditionally too, does it?  Of course N-O-T, because RIGHT, is R-I-G-H-T, and WRONG, is W-R-O-N-G!

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, I will N-E-V-E-R, hurt my own, as you’d done yours, and now, you will face, a future, filled with regrets, and you WILL be paying, dearly, for your mistakes, with both your lives, along with the lives of the ones you loved, and cared about, and that, is still??? Oh yeah, NOT my P-R-O-B-L-E-M, because it’s NOT in my B-A-C-K-Y-A-R-D???  Uh, D-U-H!!!

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Getting Away from Being a Victim of Abuse, She Started Holding the Director’s Board and Became a Director of Documentaries

The story of an amazing survivor, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Vietnamese documentary director, Jing-Hong Yuan, married a Taiwanese man, but was abused, after a period of pain, she’d divorced the man, took her daughter, and started working as a volunteer.  Later, she’d met her current husband-the documentary director, Chong-Long Tsai, she’d started taking up photography, and started going behind the cameras, and filmed the stories of her Vietnamese sisters too, and, her films showed the adaptations, the hardships the newly migrated immigrants go through, and she became the first female immigrant director.

Yuan recalled how when she first got divorced, she took her daughter, without anybody to help her out, and, as she hunted for a job, she’d endured through a TON of discriminations.  She was very persistent, worked hard, to prove her own worth to the outside world, other than her regular job, she’d also worked as a volunteer, helped those who were troubled like she once was, her sisters.

Later, she’d met up with Tsai, and, in his encouraging her to, she’d picked up the cameras, at first, she’d taken shots all around, aimlessly.  Back then, one of her close girlfriends was in a jam, and, it gave her a goal, she started filming the stories of her Vietnamese sisters, and completed the documentary, “On the way to losing a marriage”.

Other than filming documentaries, Yuan also taught Vietnamese to children in elementary schools in Chiayi, even, for the sake of encouraging the kids to take up their mother’s tongues, she’d put up the time after school, and lectured at various schools, on her story, shared her experiences with the children from migrated workers.

She and her sisters from local Chiayi formed a supportive network, offered assistance to the community, along with those migrated workers just like her, without the assistance from the local governments, she’d raised the funds herself, even though, this, was not at all easy, but, she’s enjoying her work.

Even though, Yuan was busy working, in order to not make her daughter feel estranged about her culture and language, she’d still managed to find the time, to teach her child Vietnamese, and, at home, the two of them would communicate using the mother tongue, and, writing, reading, speaking in Vietnamese is no trouble for her daughter at all.

Yuan had been the silent supporter of the educational development of the Vietnamese language, hoped that she could give back to her own country, using what she has herself one day.

Yuan actively taught her own daughter to speak Vietnamese, other than adding to the competitive edge of her child, she’d hoped, that one day, her daughter can return to Vietnam, and help with the development of education locally.

And so, because this woman was discriminated against, that, was the primary driving force, for her to usher the education of her mother tongue, and she hoped that her own offspring can return back to where she came from, and help the locals there, and this, is a very strong woman, after she’d gone through being abused, and she still turned the hurt, into her strength.

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Later on, as I Drove, I’d Modeled After My Dad

See, parents still have GREAT amounts of influence on their children, NO matter how old they (the kids) get, translated…

With a turn, the SUV went into a narrowed alleyway, a white-haired, elderly man, with a hump on his back was slowly, moving in the middle of the path.  The driver couldn’t tell whether the elderly person planned to stay on the left or the right, and so, he’d drove behind the man, slowly, with a large distance between them.  Until other pedestrians discovered this, and reminded this elderly woman to stay to the sidewalks, the vehicle then, slowly, slid right by.

The pedestrians started chatting and giving off commends, “This is an amazing driver, he didn’t use the horns to tell the elderly to move.”  In the backseat, as I’d heard them, I felt real pound, thinking, “It’s my dad who’s driving!”

I had multiple experiences where someone HONKED me and scared the SHIT out of me on the roads.  Sometimes, I’d just made sure, that there was NOT a single car on the roads, but, there could be a car, that moved, so stealthily, to my back, “HONK~~~”, wanting me to move, and that sound, can scare your feet off the grounds that’s for sure.

And, sometimes, anger too, got sparked as well.  Back when we were younger, there were friends who’d SPIT on the windows of the car too.  There was a car that’d shocked my girlfriend, and, she, who’s usually gentle fought back immediately, she’d SLAPPED the trunk of that car hard, screamed out, “What the HELL you honking at!”, and, the sound of the horns, along with the screams of my girlfriend, from her angers, it’d shocked me twofold.  But I understood where she was coming from, after all, if you got honked like that, so many cells would’ve been shocked to death.

My father, whilst he was driving, would NEVER honk behind people’s back like that.  Since I was younger, after couple of decades, even IF he was already running late for work, and rushed to take me to school, he’d driven with such amazing courtesy on the roads.

Even though, showing some kindness on the road is common courtesy, but, it could spare a TON of people from being scared the SHIT out of, it’s an act of kindness, that needed more followers.  So, later, as I’d become the driver, I’d also, taken after my dad.

And so, because you HAD a good example to follow, your father, who’d driven with this sort of a milder manner, and you’d empathized the pedestrians, because someone close to you had been honked at, therefore, you’d be less than likely, to honk at people who’d blocked you.  But, the father’s actions are the biggest influence in this man’s life that’s for sure.

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