Category Archives: Humor/Sarcasm

Sperm Shot in a Sippy Cup

This is, what you’d been, “reduced down” to, for me, hon!

Nothing more, than that, sperm shot in a sippy cup, and I still don’t need that SHIT in my life, as in, E-V-E-R.

Sperm shot in a sippy cup, that, is what they’ll all become, to us, and, after those sons-of-bitches (not the literal, as I’m more certain, that we need those tadpoles, from the same, SPECIES to “procreate” here???) fired off their shots, then, they’re of, NO use to us all women!

thank you, so very much, WE appreciate, your, “contributions”…yeah right! Photo from online

Sperm shot in a sippy cup (let me look into my crystal ball that shows the future of man here!), that, is all we women, will EVER need, from you, mother FUCKERS (don’t pardon me for using the “F” word now!), and, wouldn’t it be easier, ladies, to skip all that faking our orgasms, and, feeling the pains of our, “penetrations” by their you-know-WHAT, and just, drive ourselves, down to that, sperm bank, and get that tadpole, that we require, to “make” our own, babies?

And at least, we would have the guarantees, of those tadpoles inside them, sippy cups being, higher IN quality, because those TADPOLE banks, I’m sure, they will, SCAN all their donor tadpoles, for illnesses, genetic, anomalies, genetic, defects, right? 

Wouldn’t know, ‘cuz, I do NOT work in a SPERM bank, but, this is, based off of my knowledge of these, places in the world, so, correct me if I’m wrong here, I welcome, all opinions still…

Leave a comment

Filed under Gender Roles, Humor/Sarcasm, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Romeo & Juliet

Here’s how it would go if I were to rewrite the script…

Soon-to-be-Ex: (speaking in a high pitched voice) Romeo, Romeo, where art thou my Romeo

Me: (getting pissed b/c in the middle of something): what the f*** are you doing, dumbass??? Do you not see that I am in the middle of something here??? Do you really NOT know how I hate to be interrupted when I am in the middle of something???

Soon-to-Be Ex (holding a pot roast chicken, in his cute mittens): I just wanted to tell you that dinner will be served in just a minute is all, don’t get angry…

Me: well, the pot roast better contain arsenic because you are just way too annoying…

Soon-to-Be Ex (going through the cupboards, trying to find that tiny bottle worth of poison): found it!!!

Me (taking it from him, opening up the dropper, but it is empty): hey I thought we had no more rats in the house…

Soon-to-Be Ex: yeah, we don’t, we killed them for dinners remember???

Me:(Questioned look on my face): where is my gun, I want to shoot someone!!!

Soon-to-be-Ex (found my rifle, hands it to me): here you go, dear, are you going huntin’ in the woods??? (inquisitive nature of a child…)

Me: (Still maintaining my cool), goes outside and commits suicide, but was unable to, because the bullets got jammed

Soon-to-be-Ex, upon hearing shots fired (runs hurriedly outside to see if I was okay): do we need to take you to a doctor???

Me (Getting Up): No thank you, thinking to myself, oh man, why they hell can’t I even die, I mean R & J both ended up dead, at least that was what I had read back in my H.S. days,  unless there is a hidden act where they both mysteriously come alive from the dead, and rule the underworld together…

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor/Sarcasm