Category Archives: On Death & Dying

Dealing with Death, Feelings Associated with Death

In Those Piles of, Autumn Leaves…

In those piles of, autumn leaves, lay the already DEAD!  In those piles of, autumn leaves, there’s, only the remains of our, yesterdays, rotting away, little, by little.

And, by the time we searched for what’d been lost, in those piles of, autumn leaves, there would be, nothing, but the invisible bones that we can’t, even touch anymore!

In those piles of, autumn leaves, those dreams of our yesterdays got covered up, and we’d dug, into the ground, to try to, recover them, got all the dirt under our, fingernails, and we still, can’t reach them, they got, buried too deep, in those piles, autumn leaves now.

in places, underneath here…

photo from online

In those piles of, autumn leaves, you’ll, find the dead bodies (or maybe, they’re all just, sleeping, yeah, that’s it!!!) of those, insects, deep, into the ground, they’re, hibernating from the coming of the cold, harsh winters, guess we should be, getting ready for that too, huh???

In those piles of autumn leaves, you will find, me, you, us, this dead child I would’ve caried for you (uh dude, you gotta be, DELUSIONAL here!!!), and none of that is, in existence now, because you mother @#%$ING (so???), murdered ME, and I’d, BURIED my SELF down, TEN-feet underground (‘cuz six feet’s still, too shallow, as I will, CLAW my way out!) already, and right beside me lay, my DEAD ghost of a baby girl, my darling, EMILY!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Children Murdered, Life, Love Became Murder, Murder, Observations, On Death & Dying, White Picket Fence, Wrongful Deaths

The Worth of Illness

Lessons in dying, what these terminal illnesses, teaches us about time, about love, and, about, life too, translated…

There were, the swellings on my grandfather’s tongue that popped up, they’d, spread and grown very quickly.

My ninety-eight-year-old grandfather and ninety-three year-old grandmother decided, that so long when it’d not hurt, then, they wouldn’t go to the hospitals to get checked out.  A very long time ago, they’d, signed the “Do-Not-Resuscitate” orders, hoping, that toward the end of their lives, they can, continue to stay as comfortable as they possibly can, and so, this time, as the unknown lump came, everybody knew, that it was, the angels, calling their names.

“Dad, younger brother and I will take care of mom, there are your parents, and your younger brother who’d died before in the living room, waiting for you, you should feel happy, that you’re, seeing them, soon.”  My seventy-three-year-old mother patted my grandfather, with his hair all white.  My grandfather’s originally black head of hair turned white overnight, as my uncle died of illness.  At that time, he was younger than my mother is right now, he’d done everything himself, playing the sports, keeping up with his vegetable garden, raising the chickens too, at thirty-nine, my youngest uncle, due to his improper diet, died too young.  And, as he’d lain in my grandmother’s arms as he’d swallowed his final breath, my grandfather sat in that darkened corner of the living room by himself, and, the next morn, his hair became, all white.

giving us the chance, the opportunity, to say goodbye to the ones we love

photo from online

My grandfather’s life had been rough, he grew up in poverty, sent to Okinawa to work the fields; and, as he was at the marrying age, because of his poverty-stricken means, he’d, married into my grandmother’s family, until his midlife, to old age, he’d finally, found the most peaceful years of his life, he’d played croquet and written calligraphy, eaten the meals with us often, and, loved to stay under his temperature-stable quilt and watch the shows in his bedroom.  They are, the only couple who’d been married over seventy years, who are still able to live on their own, and take care of themselves, the model elderly.

As he’d found that lump on his tongue, my grandfather slowly adjusted his mindset, in the means of the pains being bearable to him, other than taking his medications, and eating the foods that don’t require too much chewing, he’d lived like his old self: cleaning, collecting the items around the house, taking out the trash, slowly reducing the clutters in his home, slowly, ridding himself of the materials that are excess in his life, and we, the younger generations slowly, accepted the fact that he has, cancer too.

If there’s life, there will be, death, but, as we were younger, we hadn’t comprehended the meaning of it yet, and, there’s the aging, growing old, the illnesses, that are, used to remind us, that life is a journey with an, end.  And yet, the advances in medicine had made “old” into an extension of our births, with a ton of possibilities, to the point that we don’t realize, that the angels are, close by, with the periods all around us, and so, the only thing that reminded us of our, limits are, the “illnesses”.

“Illnesses” are the gently gifts from God, He’d reminded us, that our lives will be, over one day, but it’d not, shoved us off the trains of life we’re on immediately; it’d given the limited amount of time to us, so we can, set up our final passages, to cry, so we can, head on, towards our next, stop.

“Illness” made those around the person who has it have the time to grieve through it all.  As the moment of the angels, pushing through that door came, you would NOT see the messy room, or the shock from not yet ready to bid the ones we love farewell; what the angels would see, would be the room, with the light shining in, the tears of those “guests” who’d, come to, say goodbye.

“Illness” helped us gain the time to get ready for death, it’d given us time to ready ourselves, to change tracks into the next passage; it’d made us humbled over our limits, and we’re, fulfilled, in this, limit of time that we’re, given.

And so, this is the lessons that death teaches us, that we all, have our termination point, that it’s just, a matter of time, that we all, die, but how we choose to say goodbye to each other, that’s, what’s important, and how not to leave any inkling of regret behind, for the ones we loved, is a lesson that we all, must learn.

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Filed under Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

Fresh Flowers on His Grave

Fresh flowers on his graves, but, it wasn’t, from her, she’d not “visited” him, she’d been, ill herself!

So, who put those flowers there, huh?  She became, curious.

Fresh flowers on his grave, perhaps, she imagined, those little birdies collected the flowers, made them into a ring, and, dropped it here for him (like in those, Disney Princess stories???)…

like this…

photo from online

Fresh flowers on his grave, she’d started wondering, who else do they know, who’d, do such a thing, and she can’t think of anyone, and, she’d let her imagination get the better of her: maybe, he’d had an affair without my knowledge, and the flowers were from, her?  No, not likely, he’d come home, every night, smelling like the factory, no scent of perfume, she’d recalled.

Fresh flowers on his grave, I’d gone to visit him, to give him the updates of my goings on, and, I’d, kissed my hand, and, put my hand down on his headstone, to pass that kiss to him from my hand.

After placing that fresh bundle of flower, I’d, picked up the old ones, and tell his headstone, I’ll, see you, in two week………

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Filed under Because of Love, Life, Loss, Memories Shared, Observations, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

How Does Democratic Ruling Nations See the Monarchy?  From “God Bless Our King” to the Frequent Visitor of the Entertainment Sections of the Papers

The changes to how the country will run, as Queen Elizabeth passed away, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

On the subject of “how the younger generations viewed the monarchy?”

I was there to witness the deaths of the Thai Emperor, and the Japanese Emperor, with the rising of technologies, and the biospheres of the media on the rise, changing fast, the inner workings of the monarchies are often, spread open under the spotlight, to the point of getting on the entertainment sections too.  In the past, people could NEVER get the chance t prod into the lives of the monarchs like so, and even now, we still can’t get an up close and personal view of what’s happening in the offices of the presidents; but because of this, Queen Elizabeth II became ordinary in her people’s minds, especially in the high-tech era, with everybody owning a cell phone, even if it was the monarchs, a stumble and fall, in a few short minutes’ time, the photos would go viral to the rest of the world.  Queen Elizabeth’s image of being close to her people, softened the younger generations of the post-democratic era’s understanding about the monarchies, to keep them or to, get rid of the monarchies for once and for all.

But, the royals are, prestigious, not like ordinary citizens; from the observations of history, during Elizabeth II’s reign as queen, it’s the era of the Great Britain’s losing its powers the most.

The Great Britain has a huge territory, it’s been called the “empire where the sun never sets”, but since India gained its independence for Great Britain, Great Britain had been losing territories, and now, although, it’s still a member country of G7, but, the effects it’d exerted reduced since it’d made its exit from the European Union system.  And, how do the people of this dying monarchy continue to respect the symbolic queen?

It’s a grand discussion about democracy and monarchy, the few days that come, the English media will zoom in on when Meghan Markle will due back at the palace to pay her final respect, what she will wear.  After the writer, Bryson visited Great Britain, he’d written, “Notes from a Small Island”, but, is Great Britain tiny?  The final passages of his book, he’d written: as the historians looked back, Great Britain is an enigma, this country once fought and won the noble wars, and used a gentle way, dissolved an empire, then, used the rest of the time it had, sighed on how it’d, lost everything that it once, had……………

As Queen Elizabeth II’s son in his seventies take her place, will he soon pass the post of king to his own son, Prince William, or does he have another arrangement?  That crown seemed to have, lost, its, importance now.  What the rest of the world sees, the queen, is her nature of a good woman, how she’s a role model that ruled the country.

And so, with the DEATH of Queen Elizabeth, Great Britain is now, in a state of uncertainty, after all, she’d, ruled the nation with her graceful ways, and now, Great Britain is faced with the challenges of modernization, the monarchy’s losing power…

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Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Observations, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

Seeing the Things Left Behind by the Loved Ones, Reminded of the Losses, First, You Need to Saturate Your Own Grief & Loss

On dealing with loss, and grief, of losing someone we love, translated…

Three Months Ago, My Husband Died in a Car Accident, We’d Been Together for Thirty Years, and I was, in Mourning, Deeply.  My Daughters are Both Married Already, there’s only Me Remaining at Home, and, Every Time I Saw My Husband’s Belongings, I’d Missed Him, and Started Crying, Uncontrollably.  My Friends Suggested that I Pack Up His Belongings, to Groom Through My Own Feelings, But, Every Time I’d Started Doing that, I Can’t Stop Myself from Breaking Down, Felt like I Can’t Ever, Get Back Up, Get on with My Life without Him, What Do I Do?

As you lost your loved ones, their belongings wouldn’t vanish, and the items left behind, became, “remains”.  The expert in the funeral business, Kuo staid, that it normally takes three months to half a year to digest all those feelings of loss, of sorrows, or maybe, even longer, he’d suggested that before sorting through the remains of things left behind, we need to sort through our feelings first, then, start on taking care of what’s left behind by the ones we loved.

The Life & Death Care Foundation C.E.O., Kuo also mentioned, the most ideal state of being to sort through the remains is when the individual is still living, to start, saying goodbye to the, items, but life is, never predictable, sometimes, someone we love died so suddenly, or had been bedridden for a very long time.  At this time, the families, other than needing to cope with the deaths of their, loved ones, they are also in the midst of the difficulties of sorting through their loved ones’ belongings.

After Sorting Through the Items and Donating Them Out, Telling the Recipients the Items Belonged to Someone Who is Gone

Kuo pointed out, sorting through the remains occurs in three stages: classification, collection, toss or donate.  He’d recommended that the remains get separated into three categories, first, “thrown away”, including medications, clothes, shoes or anything that’s used, the items that you wouldn’t feel bad about throwing away, can all be placed in this category.

Second, the “Reusable”, like books, new clothing, tossing out, would be a waste but, keeping them, there’s no use, save them in the stack of “reusable”, to donate to the welfare organizations or to those who might be in need of use, or, find a thrift shop to sell.  There’s no agency that takes in these items that were left behind specifically here, Kuo believed, that before the clothes were donated, do let the organizations know that they belonged to someone who’d passed, so the organizations wouldn’t have any issues.

based off of Kubler-Ross from online

Keeping What’s Sentimentally Valuable or Valuable to You

Lastly, there are the items that are, “of sentimental values”, “the items with the sentimental values are the hardest to sort through”.  The experts stated, placing everything that’s hard to say goodbye to after someone you loved is gone into the “memories we shared” files.  Including photos, paintings and art, or the items they’d collected, place all you want to keep with you in a cluster, then, categorize them by types.  The photos, in the longer-keepsake boxes, the collectibles that your loved ones left for you, you can either sell them off, or keep them.

Kuo mentioned, “traditionally, the clothing would be, burned, but I believe, that those clothing items with sentimental values can be kept,” she’d said, the clothes have the scents of those whom you loved, it can keep the nostalgia alive, while, the rest, after discussing with the families, can get tossed into the recycle bins.

Kuo stressed, that through the step-by-step, sorting to the items of your loved ones who’d passed, it’s saying goodbye to those whom you’d, lost, collecting up your loss, and sorrows, so you can, face the rest of your lives, without them.

And so, this is how we need to say goodbye, to those whom we loved, and died, and yet, it’s, not that easy, because at the very beginning after they had just died, we missed them like crazy, because of the love, the connections that are still, intact, and we can’t even, bear to, sort through anything that belonged to them, this is only natural, but, eventually, as time passes, you will find the strengths in yourselves, to, sort through the things that your loved ones left behind, and, separate these items into piles of donate, keep, sell, etc., etc., etc., and, after you sort through every piece, you’d fully and properly, bid the ones you love so much, farewell.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Theories & Applications

That Final Song We’d Sung Together

Saying goodbye to her father, as he’d passed away, translated…

Because my father’s Alzheimer’s and losing control of his bodily functions, during his final passage of life, he was, placed in a home, the week before he was placed, due to his delusions, he’d become, agitated, and to help him feel more at ease, I’d sat by his bed, started finding the oldies to play to him, and, I’d played his favorite, “The Ghosts of Those Old Dreams”: “the flowers fell the water flowed/Gone was the springtime/Only the Eastern Breezes that Remained/the Seasons of Bloom/the Dewdrops on the Trees/Right at the Time where Those Words of Love Got Exchanged…………”

The lyrics then, simple and elegant.  I’d guided my father along in song, and pop became calmer, his eyes started glowing brighter, we’d sung that final line, “Last Night, the Dreams Came, and, Didn’t, Go Away……”

I’d asked him, who sung this song?  He’d replied, I know, it’s, Guan Pai.  I’d asked again, then, who am I?  He replied, “you’re my baby girl, why wouldn’t I know that?”

The facility went with the regulations of disease control means, placed the restrictions on the visitations of the family members, and every time I’d gone to visit him, I’d felt like he was like that hourglass, with the grains of sands, falling away.  And slowly, he’d gotten to the point that he no longer, recognized me.  After he’d left home that final time, pops never came back.  Eight months ago, he already became free from his illnesses, and can soar up high, I’m certain, that he’s in a, better, place now.

This year on Father’s Day, I’m without a father, it’d made me miss him even more; how glad I am, that in the shared tracks of memories with dad, there was, that song that belonged solely to, the two of us, father and daughter, and, it’s ever the more meaningful to me.  Wiping away my tears, I’d told myself, dad must want me to feel well, and, so, whenever I missed him in the future, I shall just hum this song, “The Ghosts of Those Old Dreams”.

And so, this is on living and dying, how we all will have to, say goodbye to the ones we love so dearly, because everybody dies, and, it’s just whether or not we are ready to part with those whom we loved dear when the time comes or not.

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Filed under Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

On the Way to the Library

What this walk around the school brought you, understanding of life, wisdom, and a bit of the scents of, letting go, even???  Translated…

It was the springtime when the outbreaks started back up again, the stage three alert that’s taken over this city made everything quiet, and slower paced.  The dormitory that’s been listed as a cultural asset, fell silent, after the rain underneath the blue skies as well; after all, it’s a place you really wanted to go, you’d felt lighter in your, steps then.  Based off of the beliefs of the experts, “walking is the best form of defense against contraction”, as the alerts of the outbreak came on again, you’d come to the campus of this school to walk, using your status of an alumnus to enter the school’s libraries.

At that time, the tracks of the contracted gained widespread attention, seeing the messages of the groups of LINE: “I’d researched the tracks of the contracted, found, that none went to the bookstores, the libraries………so, the safest place during this outbreak is places with the books………”, I can’t help but grinned, am I glad, that these are, my most frequent hangouts?  Nope, but, being stuck in the boredoms of the outbreaks, I had, needed, that good laugh!  Borges stated, “I’d always imagined heaven to be some sort of a large library”, for you, heading into the libraries, it’s a temporary escape out of the nitty-gritties of the kitchen, the household chores that bogged you down, giving you that time alone you loved to enjoy on your own the most.

Resting in the libraries, you’d hoped to call out the various times, becoming someone else, it’s a sort of a cross between reality and fantasy.  The trees green after the rain, glowed that fresh new green of leaves, suddenly, Virginia Woolf’s word came, “the women needed the escort or the recommendation letters from the college researcher to enter into the libraries”, that was written back in 1920, showed of how sexist the British society was back then, today, it seemed, funny, and odd, but you’d, examined your own passages of growth, noted the tracks that remained on your life from the patriarchy too.  Here, you’d once, bumped into a group of outstanding young ladies, helping each other grow, in the enlightenment of learning, so youthful, the students mostly came to study here, due to their families’ expectations, “there will be fitting jobs for women after you graduate”, was the persuasions for you all.  Thirty years came and went quickly, once you were so obedient, so passively in accepting whatever handed to you, and now, do you, love yourselves, a little, more than those who came before?

illustration from UDN.com

My dear, as you say your prayers, who do you pray for first?  The freedom of thought in age, already returned our own brains back to us, but, in the unawareness, our spirits, still got bound by the social roles, the labels.  You’d walked up those heavy steps, the mirror in the grand hall was the first thing you saw, like it was the first time you ever saw it, but, that reflection, reminded you of just how hard time had left its tracks on you.  The gentle breezes brought the fresh scent of the grasses, before the ladies’ dorms, the yearly bloom of the gardenias, familiar, yet, quite, distant, the dreamy color of the eggs, felt distant, and like a dream to you, and, you were reminded of that older schoolmate who ws kind, and warm, she’d, stayed in her marriage, guarded by the laws, in actuality, she was left alone in a marriage with that cheating husband, raised up her children alone on her own, in the decades of time, the malignant tumor started taking over her, and, spread through the seasons, as she’d found the tumors last spring, in a few short months, she’d, gone, and you couldn’t say your proper farewell to her in the outbreaks.

The times pushed you forward, the gardenias covered in raindrops stay scented.  The days shadowed over by the outbreaks, how much the world had, changed, in the tempo and rhythm of nature, you can still find back that constant, that, calm, and so as you’d hummed “To Oneself at Fifty”: “We shall keep on trekking, keeping moving forward…………hearing those sounds that had been, etched deep in our, hearts………”, you’d found, that even with the mask on, tears falling down, you can still, smile, there are still something worth you expecting, something joyous in being, alive.

And so, this, is on the passages of our lives, we are all hit hard by the outbreaks, with the different lifepaths we travel on our own, and, some of us may have it easy, some, hard, but that’s just how life is, everybody is different, and yet, we’re, all the same.

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Filed under Connections, Life, Lives Lost, Loss, Observations, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

Those Who Were Left by the Suicides of Their Loved Ones, Offering the Prayers, & the Blessings

On suicide, the families left behind, and how they can, start to heal, after sorting out the reasons of why they’d lost their loved ones to suicide, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The suicide of the famous person caused media attention, but this is just, the ripples from the classic and ordinary suicide in the society, people wanted to know “why?”, hoping to have an answer for the events that had, occurred.  For instance, the online community commented that if the families stayed by the side of the individual, then, maybe, it could be, prevented, or the discussions of how we can, accompany those with love who had been diagnosed with depression, how do we get them to therapy, to get them to take their medications?  Could the suicide have been prevented, if we’d managed the symptoms of depression well enough?

All of these beliefs, aimed at some sort of psychological control of what we couldn’t have controls over, through the linear cause and effect, B caused A, if we take B away, then, A wouldn’t, happen, and it seemed, that we would be, in control, and we get that sense of, security in our minds then.

In truth, there’s no direct and simple cause of suicides, only the multiple risk factors, and the protective factors, with a higher number of risk factors, then, the chances of suicide increase greatly, like major psychological illnesses, alcoholism, substance abuse, despair of impulsivity, unemployment or loss of assets, and how the act of seeking help is mislabeled; the protective factors, on the other hand, can help lower the risks of suicide, like getting into treatment physically or psychologically, the support of the families, the society, faith, etc., etc., etc.  And yet, no matter how hard we tried to prevent, suicides still happen, and it would have an everlasting effect on those who were left behind, the “remaining population” of the suicides.

And, we often think of the families of the individuals who’d committed suicide, but, there’s a wider spectrum of those who were affected, including those who bore witness to the suicide, the friends, relatives, classmates, coworkers, neighbors, the medical professionals who took care of the individuals who’d died.  For instance, I’d once heard the survived of suicide individuals shared, that as the therapist of the individual who’d committed suicide had been notified, the therapist was shocked, “how can this be, the last two times I saw her/him, s/he was okay”, and this showed, how shocked and how the therapist couldn’t accept the death of the patient.  And, the past researches showed, that as the media overreported on the events, it may cause the modeling effect.  Those who learned of the suicide first hand or by word of mouth, who are directly or indirectly affected by the events, are all the more generalized “survivors of suicides”.

The trauma reaction to the news of suicides, the memories with the individuals who’d committed suicide, the support and interactions of the individual with their loved ones, reviewing over ones’ own life experiences, etc., etc., etc., all of these may be the experiences of the survivors of suicides.  And, anybody who’d been affected by a suicide can do the following to care for oneself:

First, find someone who will listen and accompany you, to tell the individual about how the suicide impacted you, how it’d made you feel.  As a therapist, I’d reminded the families who are survived to find someone who listens, who can accept all the reactions to the griefs, to the losses, someone who won’t jump in to give the advices too soon.

Secondly, the survivors can get involved into the groups relating to the survivors of suicides, for instance, the Care Foundation for the Survivors of Suicide, finding the FB of this particular association, you can get the needed resources (for instance, the video files, the illustrated books/articles on the matter), there are also opportunities to be with those who’d experienced the loss from a suicide of a loved ones, to seek out the emotional and social support of a shared experience.

Third, the survivors can also consider therapy, the therapists will try and help the individuals to find the means that works for the persons singly, to cope with the enormous losses of your lives.

Finally, in the clinical work we are doing, through the creations of various means, or giving to others, it helps the survivors find the meanings, for instance, writing or art, gardening, or immersing oneself into the volunteer services, etc., etc., these are what the families of suicides mentioned had helped them out.  It’s not easy to reconstruct ourselves after we’d lost someone to suicide to death, but, it’s not impossible.  So, let’s use our own ways, to help send the prayers and the blessings to those who are left behind by their families, for those who’d weathered through the suicides of their loved ones.

And so, this is on helping those families who’d lost someone to suicide heal, and this is a very hard process to manage, because death is never easy, especially when someone you loved chose to take her/his own life, for whatever reasons there may be, and, you may wonder why, and get stuck, because you will never find the answer to why, because the only one who can answer that question had already gone, and, you will have to, pull yourself out of that deep dark hole, but with the help of the support groups mentioned, or the therapy sessions, you can, walk out of this.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, the Finality of Life, Values

Letting Go, the HARDEST, Decision

On difficult decisions of terminal care, because it’s hard, and we will all have to face something like this at one time in our lives or another, maybe with our own loved ones, maybe, when we get older ourselves…translated…

In This Process of “Letting Go”, it’s Next to Impossible for Those Who Aren’t in the Process to Know What Goodbye is Like………

The idiom of “long-term sickness brings NO good son”.  There’d been the news reports on this matter, and, most of the people after hearing, they’d only felt chilled, or, that it was only, matter-of-fact.  But in the medical realm, we watched the younger generations shouldered up the responsibilities of caring for their elders until the end; and yet, with the worsening of the elders’ conditions, the caretakers usually felt burned out, and started thinking of “letting go”.  And, in this process of letting go, the heavy heart of the love for ones’ next-of-kin, and the sense of responsibilities, nobody on the outside can understand.

Insomnia is the Norm

Mr. Chen is seventy-six, eight years ago, he’d started dialysis, because he was the C.E.O. of a company, even as on Wednesdays he was due for the procedures, he’d still gone to his office to make the rounds first, visiting his old clients regularly.

At the start of last year, he’d started feeling the lower back pains, at first, he thought it was sciatica, after he had an MRI, it was the granulomatous spondylitis, and even as the surgery helped alleviate the symptoms, but, because he was bedridden too long after the surgery, his an elder, and a dialysis patient too, losing his muscle mass had greatly reduced his physical activity levels, and in the end, he’d needed his family to help him get through the days of his normal living.

illustration from UDN.com

This authority in business, a C.E.O., suddenly became someone who can’t control his own body, a patient, Mr. Chen’s moods altered as well.  But, as his families considered placing him into a nursing home facility, Mrs. Chen decided to shoulder all of his care on other own.

As she’d come in to get her insomnia treated, I’d asked her, if her body could take it?  She’d said, she’s older, and as her husband hollered, she’d had to go to him quickly, surely, there was, enormous stress on her, in the past six months, she’d started feeling the strains.  But, thinking about “letting go” of her husband whom she’d stayed close to for half a century’s time, she couldn’t, accept that……………

Her First Words Were “I Want to Go Home”

Another elderly woman, Grandma Shih, who had kidney problems due to her diabetes who is a regular at my clinic, I’d been her physician for more than decades, I’d gotten to know her families well, knew that her offspring took care of her living needs daily, so her kidney function was quite stabilized.  Once I’d thought, that she will never need dialysis, but, her heart failed, and at the age of ninety-three, she’d entered the line of dialysis.

There would be the many situations in the elderly population after the dialysis especially, and, a more complex set of complications compared to the younger generations, for instance, infections from bacteria or virus, or, hemorrhages, it’d made her come in and out of the hospital many a time, she’d become, weakened, in the end, she’d relied on the feeding tubes, and I saw her son, with his eyes red, as he’d, fed the formula into his own mother’s feeding tubes, and I’d felt really bad, and, can’t believe, that Grandma Shih would need this sort of an end-of-life care for her.

As she choked on her own vomit that final time, Grandma Shih lost her vitals on the way to the hospitals, because the conditions were critical then, we’d immediately intubated her, although afterwards, the families held different opinions on intubation, but, at the moment, it was emergent.  Luckily, the elderly pulled through, and started breathing on her own, it’s just that as she was discharged from the hospitals, she’d become, bedridden, and her days and nights were, flipped, causing too much strain on her loved ones, as well as the nurse’s aide too.

Because of necessity, they’d found a facility that can perform the dialysis for her, placed the elderly woman in the home, so she could get the care she’d needed.  At first, as the son went to visit, Grandma Shih remained silent, and her eyes couldn’t focus; but after a week, she’d recalled her son’s name, and started stating, “I want to go home”.  And, this made her son started blaming himself for deciding to place his own mother in a nursing home facility.

In the final passage of her life, Grandma Shih continued staying in the nursing home facility.  Six months after she’d passed, her son told me, “Sometimes I’d regretted it, not known, if I’d done right by her or not”, even if they couldn’t watch over Grandma Shih around the clock—that seemingly easier option became, the road block he tried to cross over his whole life.

Those with the long-term illnesses, are the ones suffering, and, the primary caretakers around them are, too strained, it is a difficult choice, letting go, or not; if you’d chosen to not let go, you’d be straining yourself, and, you have to feel the pains and sufferings of the ones you love dearly; but as you’d selected to let go, you are filled with the unwillingness of letting them die, and this may cause you to regret it for the rest of your lives.

And so, there you have it, this is a difficult decision, that we will all face someday, maybe it’s with our own parents, or, when we get older ourselves, and, there’s still no right or wrong on this, and, that’s just, how life goes, sometimes, we’re, just forced to make these hard decisions for the ones we love dearly, because we don’t want them to suffer anymore, and sometimes, we choose to keep them alive, because we aren’t, ready, to say goodbye yet, and, by doing that, we’re, prolonging their, suffering.

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Scamming the Government for Money to the Elderly Population in Japan, Covering Up the Fact that the Loved Ones Died for Three Decades, with the Elderly Man Mummified

Continue to claim the welfare benefits of the elderly population, allotted by the government, abusing the systems, because they C-A-N!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The news of an elderly woman, after death, was stashed away in the freezers for five years, while her son kept claiming the government assistance money on his mother’s behalf, there had been multiple cases like this in Japan, and they called it the “Cons of the Centurions”.

Of these, the earliest case was in July of 2010, the Japanese Police Department office pointed out, that an elderly man of 111 years old, Kato, the second eldest person in Japanese history, he’d been dead for thirty years already, became mummified, the families were suspected of covering up his death, and claimed his elderly welfare benefits after he was dead.

Later, as this got busted, the government discovered, that his wife who was a school instructor had died six years prior to 2010, and, since 2014, the Japanese government had paid close to 9.5 million Japanese Yens to the Mr. Kato’s accounts, and, six million dollars of which had been withdrawn away by his eighty-one year-old daughter and fifty-three year old granddaughter.

At the time, the Japanese police suspected that the offspring of Kato had been continually receiving the retirement fund from the government to him, even as Kato had passed, they’d not gone to the department of the government to file the papers, to take him off the “payroll”, this case had shaken up the entire country.

In 2009, Japan had claimed that there were over 40,000 centurions in the country, and, after the Kato case was discovered, the police was told to start investigating all the centurions on record on the registries of the country’s population, and it’s said that there had been found that at least two hundred on record “vanished” overnight.

Of one of the case, a one-hundred four-year-old woman had already died, her body was packed up into a backpack by her son, for ten years, since, the Japanese population became more worried that the government’s welfare for the elderly population had been abused and misused.

And so, why not, make it rich off of our dead elders, I mean, they got NO need for the money anymore, they’re all, already, DEAD, but hey, by not reporting them as dead, we get to continually get government to pay us for their being alive, and that, is the mindset behind this bad behaviors, and, seeing how money had run scarce, it’s easy to see why people are doing this, you get that, right???  And this is still, immoral, and WRONG!

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