Monthly Archives: November 2014

Haunted, by These Dreams

There would be, dreams, that’d come to my pillows at night, and haunt me until the dawn breaks…

Don’t know when it got started, but, ever since I could recall, I’d been haunted, by these dreams, and they’re not even mine at all!  Haunted, by these dreams, and I can’t figure out why, it wasn’t as if I’d done something awful to someone, that I’m being punished.

Haunted, by these dreams, and they kept coming back, each and every night, and, I became withdrawn, because I was too scared, and couldn’t find my words, I was so young, and I’d carried these haunting nightmares on my shoulders since.

Haunted, by these dreams, I really want to get rid of them, but I can’t find a way, because no matter how I’d put those deadbolts on my doors before I head off to bed, they’d always find their ways, back to my pillows at night, and, they’d lain next to me, as I drifted, off to sleep, and, I still hadn’t gotten me a peaceful night of rest yet!

Haunted, by these dreams, I don’t know why, and, lately, these dreams are becoming more and more vivid, and I’d remembered more and more of the scary scenes in them, they felt so real………

 

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Maturation, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Two Myths on Getting Published

Found online, translated…

In the American and European movies, you’d see this overly done scene: a writer, quitted his job, asked him why?  He’d replied, because he’d intended to write a novel.  His wife works outside the home, bringing in the bread and bacon every single day, while the husband stayed at home all day long, worked on that book, that only existed inside his own mind.  Short of a stamp, it can be mailed out to the publishers.  To the middle of the movie, there’s a huge twist in the story, the husband got inspired daily, and kept his fingers, flying across the keyboards.  The next scene, the writer appeared, dressed up to the nines, with his new novel published, and hitting the best seller’s lists.

Toward the publishing realm in Taiwan, this, is just a myth.  Toward my own understanding of the situation now, this, is still only a myth.

Being a writer is a career that lets most people down.  Because the writer’s work is a mythical creation.  Because even though, the writer’s heart is lonely, away from the rest of the world, her/his writing can still manage to get the public going, because nobody can clearly describe the depth of the soul, the dangers, and the excitements it has of offering you, but someone was willing to cast a line, and see what one may catch.  Used his own sorrows, to refer to the world’s sorrows.  Giving the writer a respect, and imagining what a wonderful life the writer has, this, may be the feedback the writer receives, from the hardships of her/his own life, the return of morale.  And so, when someone congratulated me on publishing a book and how I should take everybody out to celebrate, I’d felt gratitude toward the caller, and, in my heart, I’d felt that I’d let her/him down once more.

Writing in Taiwan can only become a secondary job.  Like in the olden days, when the men would head out to work, while women picked up the spare jobs of handiwork to make the extra money, to help make ends meet.  There’s nothing wrong with that, being a writer is kind of a handiwork too.

In order to cast her/his line lower, a writer must have a larger reader pool.  And, for the sake of this unknown, but supposedly fruitful venture, the writer is willing to give up a steady job, for the sake of writing a book.  But, it may not proven to be fruitful in the end, because there are a TON of writers, competing here, in Taiwan.  Writing, is not measured by the monetary gains, besides, there are a lot of “selfish” writers, the completions of their novels are for solely themselves, not to appease the readers.

The writers had not met up to the mass public’s expectations.  This, is a vanishing myth.

There are more, readers and nonreaders in China more than in Taiwan, apparently, when the writers from Taiwan get their books over the straight, of course, it’s to appease to those who would read them.  I once had the chance, of publishing my writings abroad too, but, I’d offended the officials because my book talked about the war of Kinmen with China.  And this, is also, another weird trend in publishing.

The myths got destroyed one by one.  But not yet given up on, selling merely one hundred, two hundred books, I’ll still write, because myths are extremely rare, and I only wanted to be human.

And so, what motivated this person to keep on writing, and not cared about whether or not his books sold out is this sense of duty, he felt compelled, to pass the knowledge he has, down, to someone else, and that, is the true heart of a writer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Observations, Perspectives, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, Values, Writing

An Infant Girl Was Born for Just a Few Day When She Was Found, Abandoned on a Cart at a Marketplace

How many TIMES must I say this: If you can’t take care of children, then, don’t HAVE NONE (and your point being???), and yet, this sort of SHIT still happens???  From the Newspapers online, translated…

Two evenings ago, on a vendor’s cart, in an alley of Fengshan, Kaohsiung, a baby girl was found, after the residents called it in, she was taken into Changgang Hospital in Kaohsiung.  The infant was healthy, only about three to seven days old, she was wrapped in an orange child’s shirt, with NO other information, to help identify her.  The police and the social services department had asked for the parents to come forth and take the child home.

The Social Services Department of Kaohsiung held a press conference at Changgang Hospital, urging the parents to come forth.

The Social Services Department held a press conference at the hospital yesterday, the director told, how the child was found, abandoned on a food cart, wrapped with a child’s garments, and, was found as she’d started crying, by the nearby residents.

The police said, that there are no other identifications on the child, no necklaces, no note, the child only wore simple clothes.

The hospital examined her, and found, that other than some bug bites from her being left out in the open, she had no other injuries, but the hospital still needed to conduct all the checks they normally would with a newborn infant, and they’re asking the parents to come forth quickly, to take the baby home.

Guess what MAY have happened?  Oh I know, this child must belong to some teenager, because she got knocked up by a dude, and, got pregnant, and, thought that all the symptoms of her pregnancy were just caused by the stresses from her daily life, and, when she realized that she was pregnant, it was, too late for her to get an abortion, and so, she’d carried her child, and, gave birth to her, and, because she didn’t want her in the first place, the mother then, abandoned her on a food cart, and, because she knew, that someone will eventually hear her baby cry………

Uh, whatever happened to USE protection, and, don’t FUCK around IF you can’t withstand the consequences?  And, didn’t they teach you about SAFE SEX in school?  Who gave you the rights, to just ABANDON your own child, because you are way too young, and can’t even take care of yourselves yet?  This, is totally, irresponsible!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Messed Up Values, Perspectives, Socialization

A Sex Offender “Checks in” at the Police Station, and Copied a Woman’s Information Down

From the Newspapers, translated…

A man with priors in sexual assault checked in at the subprecinct because of a case he was involved in, he’d taken advantage of the time when the police officers weren’t watching him, took down the information for a woman who was involved in a car accident, afterwards, he’d written her love letters and asked for a date, the woman believed that her information was leaked out, and called the police, and, the police arrested Chen.  The Hsinbei District Courts found Chen guilty for obstruction of privacy laws, gave Chen 50 days in jail, which he can pay a fine for.

Chen claimed that he’d wanted to have a girlfriend, but didn’t have a chance to, that, was why he’d written down her information, to proclaim his love to her, and even though, he didn’t know her personally, but he’d wanted to “try his luck, maybe he could have a chance”, that there was no alternative motives for his behaviors.

The courts investigated and found, that the forty-one year old Chen had priors in forced sexual behaviors, forced sexual molestations, along with other serious charges, and was sent to prison for eight years, he was released three years ago, and, based off of the laws toward sex offenders, he must check into the police precincts locally regularly.

At mid April this year, when Chen went to check in to the Sinchuan subprecinct of the Sinchuan Police Department, he’d found that there was a record of a car crash, of a woman, who’d had a run in with a man last August, the officers were about to discard the reports, but had carelessly, left it on the desks.

Chen took the time when the officers weren’t watching him, wrote down the woman’s name, her address, her birthday, along with other contact information, at the bottom of April, he’d written a love letter to this woman, said he’d wanted to meet her, and maybe, be her boyfriend, and mentioned about her birthday, and how he’d wanted to help her celebrate.

The woman was shocked when she’d received the letter of love from a stranger, she believed that her information was leaked out, but couldn’t be sure through which medium it was leaked, so she’d called the police.  And the police found Chen’s place from his love letters, and arrested him, and that, was when he’d told of how he’d gotten the information off of the car accident report on the desk of the subprecinct.

And so, a sex predator will always BE a sex predator, and, there’s absolutely NO way of reforming them, and, the police were too careless, to leave the information out in the open, anybody can get it!

 

 

 

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Filed under Crime & Punishment, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Reforming a Sexual Predator

The Last Straw that Broke Up Her Marriage: Her Dog Got Stabbed by Her Husband

Scapegoating, AT its WORST!!!  From the Newspapers, translated…

A woman who’s very capable in business, Jiang claimed that her husband felt inadequate because he didn’t make more money than she, had often gotten angered at her, two years ago after they’d separated, her husband snuck back home, stabbed, and blinded her pet, it’d made her fear.  She’d filed for divorce, claiming that there was nothing left in the marriage emotionally.  The husband denied having abused her dog, and, the judge ruled for the divorce, because there’s no way to keep the marriage going any longer.

The Taoyuan District Courts investigated and found, that Jiang worked as a school teacher from before, twenty years ago, she’d started her own business, set up a realtor’s agency, brings in a lot of money, while her husband works for a privately owned company, and made a lot less than she had.

She’d pointed out to the courts, her husband asked her to put up all her wages, and in order to keep the family harmonious, she had to comply, but every time she’d asked for the living expenses from her husband, she had to rely on his mood, and when the husband was in a foul mood and threw the money in her face, said in a demeaning tone, “Take it then!”, and she could only keep silent about it.

Two years ago, the relationship got to the point of breaking, the husband left for no reasons at all, and came back, threatened her, “I’m going to strangle your dog, and make you live in hell.”, the very next day, she’d found her dog to have been stabbed in the eyes, the bladder and anus, and, after she’d taken her dog to the vet, the doctors managed to save the dog’s left eye, and it was blinded in the right, and, after three months, the dog was, once again, stabbed and slashed by a knife, and, she’d rushed it to the vet, and, saved its life.

Jiang said, she believed, that it was her husband who’d done this, because after she’d separated from him, the dog became like her son, and her husband’s behaviors had caused her enormous amount of fear, she’d feared his violent revenge on her constantly, and asked for a divorce.

As the court was in session, Jiang’s husband denied having stabbed his wife’s dog to threaten her, that it was his wife who was paranoid, and unstable, and refused to divorce.

And because the woman offered the medical records of her pets, the judge believed, that even though, Jiang was living with her dogs, and she must have felt enormous amount of stress, even though the husband denied it, but this incident had apparently, destroyed the trust in the relationship, and plus they’d separated for two years, and, there was so many problems that can’t be fixed in the marriage, so, the judge agreed to the wife’s request of divorce.

Another case of a loser, who was displeased at how his wife acted, and hurt something that she loved.  The man is the one with the problems here, he’s the one who’d used violence toward his wife, made her fear, and now, he’d stabbed his wife’s pet, because she’s paying more attention to them than she is him???  Grow UP, you LOSERS!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Cost of Living, Divorces, Scapegoating, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex

When Beggars Make More than You

This, is currently what is happening in the world right now, beggars are making MORE money than you, and they don’t have to do anything, just sit on the floor, in their dirtied clothes, looking pitiful, and, surely enough, someone who comes by will give her/him a handout.

When beggars make more than you, but HOW, those beggars, they’re NOT even working at all, they’re merely sitting on the floor somewhere, looking dirty and pitiful, and they get paid for that?  While I’m here, working my five to nines (b/c nine to five is no longer enough to make my ends meet!), slaving my life away, getting GRILLED by the boss, who doesn’t DO shit!  Is that fair?  Hell NO!

When beggars make more than you, it may just be in that specific case, but, this specific case will spread, very quickly, like that newest form of the flu, and, it will, become a trend, gets spread from this corner of the world, to the next, until all the streets everywhere are filled with panhandlers…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Losing Sight of What's Important, Messed Up Values, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Where is Home?

This, is somewhat a longer piece, translated…

When people inquired about his occupation, he’d loved to tell them that he’s a flying engineer.  Then, started to explain: at the earliest time in my career, I was once an engineer for Microsoft, at age thirty-seven, I’d retired and stared engineering the hardware.  As for what sort of engineering, it’s hard to tell it in just a couple of short sentences.  Right around the same time, I’d started to feel interested in gliding.  Starting after that, I’d begun combining my professional knowledge with my own area of interest.  What I do now, simply put: allowing humans to fly free like the birds, designing the equipments that allowed humans to do that.

If I have more time, or maybe when there’s a press conference, for instance, that time that he’d own the American championship gliding contest, he’d become even more enthusiastic in his explaining: back then, I’d gone to practice every single day, when the weather allowed for it.  Even though, it’s considered a sport, but, you don’t really need to use too much energy for it.  when you glide, you basically position your body like “Superman”, parallel to the earth, of course, you must have these two light wings on your arms.  Normally, I’d flown at one thousand miles to five or six hundred miles above sea level.  That, would be the most ideal heights, you get to see everything down below, the mountains, the rivers, and the cities too, and you need not worry that you might fly into something.

What it feels like?  No, definitely not like when you’re on an airplane, instead, it’s you who’s flying.  Yes, just like a bird, like the wings are all your own.  That, is definitely one amazingly unique experience.  It’s a level up for the body, the spirit, and physics.  Yes, it is kinda like spiritual awakening in a sense, but, it’s more real, and you’d feel shaken up more by it.

Adventure?  Did you say adventure?  No, it is a great amount of things, but, it’s not an adventure.

The rain in Taipei had come contiguously for three weeks now.  Gliding became absolutely impossible here.  Not only does Taipei not have a gliding range, even if it did, in this sort of weather, you just couldn’t do it.

He lay in bed, waking up, the first thing he’d heard was the rain.  Yes, didn’t he fall asleep, with the sound of the rain last night as well?  Outside the windows, it’s still dark, and the rain kept coming down, into the water tower of his building.

The couple from the opposite side, all of a sudden, started screaming—they must be husband and wife, and only husband and wife would argue so fiercely with one another like that.  He couldn’t make out the conversations, but gladly, this spat ended, quickly.  His mind drifted back to the problems with the rain.  He must’ve forgotten totally that the years he’d lived in Seattle, he’d only recalled how the dampness and the heat made him uncomfortable in Taipei, but he’d forgotten the rainy season here in the springtime, along with the rain that seemed to make everything moldy in the winters.  Even though, Seattle is known for its rain, but, it paled by comparison to Taipei’s rains.

The rain in Taipei, take, for example, this time, it was absolutely disorderly, it’d rained for days and nights, never ending.  There was only big and small rains, without pausing in between.  During the days, and into the nights, it just kept pouring down.

At this time, he lay in bed, wanted to make a good plan for his day, but, because of the rain, it’d ruined his mood completely; the moldiness, the dampness.  Other than putting up with it, what else can he do?  He’d discovered, that without gliding, he became like the rest of the faces in the crowd.

If the weather’s better, sunny and no rain, at least, he could still play some golf in Taipei.  And, at the club, he’d meet a couple of not-too-familiar golf buddies, and, he’d be able to strike up a pointless conversation with them, establish some sort of a connection, and, he could also manage to stretch his body a bit, to exercise, and, he could chase away the time, along with the loneliness that came with the time.  But the rain, it just wouldn’t stop falling, he could only face the computer and the television in the house.

In this place, supposedly called his “home,” he’d found himself to be all alone.  Wanted to find someone to go out to dine, or to carry on in conversation—whether it be new friends, old relatives, so long as it’s not a prospect—but, he’d searched through his mind, and, found nobody.  If he wanted a girlfriend, there are, a ton of single ladies who would worship him.  It’s just that after two failed marriages, his biggest fear is talking of marriage.  He just wanted someone, with whom, he could pass this boring and lonely time with is all.  As for those ladies who are in search of husbands, they’re even scarier than the loneliness that he is facing now.

He’d carried a grayed umbrella, walked through Da-An forest park, all the way to Yong-Kang Street.  Passed through the green pastures, the pond, and the bushes, he’d felt, that this light, drizzling rain had calmed the city down quite a bit, at least, he couldn’t hear any traffic from the park.  And because of the rain, there’s not that many people in the park, the Tai-Chi’s, the line dancers, the vendors, the children who are rowdy, running around, are all not there.  Everybody was with an umbrella, walking in the rain, making a space, specially for oneself, quarantining from everybody else.  And, he’d believed that the drizzling rain is helpful to him, it’s totally opposite of the blueness he’d felt, locked up inside of his place.  So, it’s not the problem with the rains then, instead, it’s the house where the problem lies, no matter how he’d modeled the place, the space that’s closed in by the four walls, you will get sick, or go crazy inside.

He’d picked a Shanghai shop, ordered up two servings of steamed buns, a dish of cold veggies, wolfed it up, but he’d still felt the hunger.

The man circled the globe, to find that place where he felt most at home it, revisited his place of origin, and, he’d died in an accident when he went gliding, doing what he loved, and, he’d found his home, in traveling the world.

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Filed under Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life