Category Archives: Saving a Marriage

The Most Precious Thing of Our Marriage is the Gratitude We Feel Toward Each Other

The SEXIST belief of how women are in charge of what happens within the household (all the chores are up to us!!!), while you losers (not name calling!) are all in charge of working your nine-to-fives out!  Translated…

Because of my children are growing up fast, they’d gotten a ton of energies in them, and naturally, it’d made me busier at home, recently, my wife had been working in and out, sweating like crazy, and, the accumulated stresses that she’d had, became, that final straw that’s, cracked her, back, one day, she’d gotten furious over something, stated, that she’d been working from the beginning, and we didn’t not only thanked her, we’d, taken her for, granted, that she’d become, completely, drained.  Suddenly, the air froze at home, the smokes are rising up then, without the joys of motherhood, with that added, crisis of losing my, marriage now.

Based off of the estimates of the offices of internal statistics, the rate of divorce was up to 47,888 pairs in 2021, second, only to China, second in all of Asia, while, the age group that’s found to be most prevalent for divorces are from ages thirty-five to thirty-nine, and suddenly, it’d dawned on me, that I’m, right at the highest risk of the divorce groups.

There’s a joke: at age thirty we see others around us marrying, start panicking because we didn’t have anyone; at age forty, we see, that everybody around us is, divorcing, and we’d felt glad that we never, tied the, knots.  Looking at today, less and less are choosing to get married, and more and more are, getting, divorced; the experts and scholars tried to find the reasons behind all of this, and, as the studies, research results showed, it was due to how “one side gave too much, and the other side not being, grateful enough”, it’d made me think hard.

how it used to, be…illustration from online

After we’d fought, I’d started, introspecting, if the household chores are split up unevenly, or that I’d, taken my wife’s giving to the family for, granted.  And further, all of these accumulations from long ago, maybe, it’s, the problems of the ordinary marriages, that we’re always, grateful for those who are outside of the realms of family, but not enough thanks given to those who are closest to us, and giving to us, selflessly.

Thought about how I’d, boasted to my wife, how I’d, automatically, did the laundry, hung them up in the closets after they’re all dried, and did the dishes too, and hoped to get a praise, but my wife was confused, because she thinks the household chores are originally, both our, responsibilities, why was I the one, “helping” her out?  Her words were a, rude awakening, so, I’d, believed that it’s a woman’s work, doing all the, household, chores.

Based off of the study of Harvard University, the 724 adults the school followed up since 1938, as the participants of the study are all in their nineties, they’d discovered, that the key to happiness, is originally built on “an amicable relationship”.  In sum, through scientific proof, the key to happiness is, “gratitude”.

It’s never too late, as they say, first, we must, learn to, verbalize our gratitude, then, act on it, toward the household chores, stacking up at home, we must, work in them too.  It’s never late to save your marriages, start offering one another the verbal thank yous when you were younger, and keep that heart of gratitude, say thanks, do more household chores, you will, live in the marital bliss!

and this, is how, it SHOULD, be! Comic from online

And so, this is still based off of the sexist beliefs of how women ARE, in charge of what’s in the house, while all of you, LOSERS (not name calling!) are supposed to be the “bread winners”, but that may be true, in the CAVEMEN days, these days, we women are also, working our separate five to nines (instead of nine-to-fives), and when we clocked out from our offices, we go home, and work some more around the house, because, if we don’t, then, who will, and most of us preferred our homes to be, neat and, tidy, that’s why, we women are, slaving ourselves, and you men don’t even help out enough, because, it’s etched in your BRAINS that you’re only in charge, of, “winning the breads”.

WAKE up!  This is NOT the CAVEMEN days, when all you losers (not name calling!) go out hunting with your god damn, oversized, clubs, leaving us women at home, tending to the “hearth”…

and this, is what we’re, or should, aim, at!

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Buying His Wife’s Forgiveness with a Million-Dollar Property…

And, I used to think, that forgiveness CAN’T be BOUGHT, apparently, I’m, once again, MISTAKEN here, from Yahoo!.com Taiwan, translated…

A married man in Taipei, Bai, had saved the photos of intimacy that he’d had with his whore in bed together, on his home computer, and was found by his wife, it was found by his wife last year, Bai then gave his wife, the property he’d bought, worth around ten million dollars N.T. as his way of begging his wife’s forgiveness.  Bai’s wife had, sued the other woman, Chou, and the District Court of Taipei found Chou guilty, and mandated that she must pay Bai’s wife $400,000N.T.

Based off of The Apple Daily, after Bai’s affair went bust, he’d given a house of a hundred million dollars N.T. in worth, in return for her forgiveness, which worked, and, Bai’s wife sued the other woman, Chou for adultery.  But the judge thought, that because Bai’s wife just went after Chou, and not her husband, she’d violated the “No Separations Clause” of the suits, and, decided, to toss the case out.

The reports showed that Bai’s wife had sued Chou in the civil front for $600,000N.T. for damages, and, the judge believed, that Bai’s wife’s right of being Bai’s spouse had been violated, and found Chou guilty, and that she must pay Bai’s wife $400,000N.T.

Is that fair?  Hell NO!!!  I mean, WHY the FUCK (and NO, don’t “pardon” me this time!!!) is it ALWAYS the women who get sued, I mean, what about the losers who couldn’t keep their DICKS inside their pants, I mean, it DOES take TWO to tango, right???  And that still just shows how easily a woman can and will forgive her LOSER husband for HIS infidelities, but, think of it in another term, if it were the woman who’d cheated, do you think, that the husband would forgive as easily?  I think not!  And, this, is one MORE case (and I’m more than 100% P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E, that this, is NOT going to be the LAST “case” that shows GENDER inequality!!!).

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The Boundaries of One Another’s Interactions with Members of the Opposite Sex


My coworker showed up at the office with black rings around his eyes, complained how he wasn’t able to sleep last night.  Everybody joked about how he’d gotten to the age where insomnia set in, he’d laughed bitterly, “No, I’d had a fight with my wife.”, they were the model couple, rarely had any disagreements, and so, we were all very curious, as to what had happened.

“It’s all A’s fault, for LINE-ing me, said something that’s a joke, but, I wasn’t close to my phone, and, my wife went to check my phone, as she heard the alert sound, and, her face changed colors.”—heard that it was about A, we could all understand, how bad my coworker’s going to get it, because A loved telling jokes, including the sexist kinds too, and, those who don’t know her personally, can easily, misunderstand her.  Plus A posted her pictures from over a decade ago on LINE, she looked like a hottie, it’s a wonder, that my coworker’s wife got jealous.

My coworker explained to his wife a very long time, but, she’s still very angry.  After he’d made us all laugh, my coworker changed his tone to serious, said, “I’d never known how important I am to my own wife, and this time, it’d shown.  My wife wanted me to empathize, that if it were her, joking, laughing with her male colleagues, would I NOT feel anything?  And her words made me realize that I must, DRAW the boundaries.”

Similar things had happened to me, many, many years ago too, once I’d gotten into conversation with a male coworker, I’d not noticed how husband’s face changed colors.  After a few days of fuming, he’d told me, that I’d chatted with my coworker for too long, and, right then and there, I’d heard what he was actually saying, and, right then and there, I’d played coy with him, “You’re angry?”

“If it were you, wouldn’t you get mad too?”, he’d replied, self-righteously.  And ever since, that ruler from inside my mind was, put to work, until my husband, in order to help a female friend, sort through her emotions, he’d talked with her the entire night, the same topic surfaced.  I’d threw a fit, believed that he couldn’t even make time to hear his own wife out, but made the time to hear someone else.  After we’d both calmed down, we’d set up the rules, then, we’d ceased fire.

The boundaries between men and women are like the lines drawn on the ground with chalk, as you’d stepped on it, over, over and over again, the line will become more and more blurred, if you don’t draw it back on again, then, the line will eventually, cease, to exist.  The preciousness of a husband and wife lies in that they respect one another, and, in current day, when the high-tech products are all over the places, we must be more careful, in how we transmit our messages, until we want some huge tidal waves to attack our ordinary lives.

But, if you ask me, this, is still just two people, PROJECTING their own insecurities onto one another, I mean, I get, that you can get jealous if your wife/husband talked to someone from work so long, but hey, there’s NO point of getting jealous, and, you should just, VOICE out your concerns, at the moment of the incident, to CLEAR up the A-I-R, like the husband and wife here, they’d both held it down for a bit, and, you KNOW how those things have the tendency to ferment, and that, was why, these two instances almost went OUT of control!


Filed under Being Exposed, Broken Promises, Choices, Communications, Connections, Everyone Else's Fault, Expectations, Gender Roles, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Romance, Saving a Marriage, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Stood by the Infidelities of a Man

Is that, S-T-U-P-I-D-I-T-Y???  Well, come right on in, I saved a special seat for ya!!! Stood by the infidelities of a man, but W-H-Y?  Because he looked so remorseful for his FUCKING his whore?  And, that, was only number O-N-E, because right after she’d forgiven him, he’d started huntin’ for his third, fourth, and so on.

Stood by the infidelities of a man, because she watched her mama did it, and, her mama just SUCKED it up, took everything on herself, and, she thought that that, was the right kind of values she too, should exert.

Stood by the infidelities of a man, but W-H-Y?  Does she need his monetary support?  Heck no, she brings in a BIGGER piece of the bread AND bacon too than he, in fact, he’s the one, living OFF of her, and so, why the FUCK (oopsy!!!) is she standing, by the infidelities of a man?  Oh, must’ve been her mama’s fault, because her mama put up with her daddy’s cheatin’ too, and so, she’d watched from her eyes as a child, and learned by modeling, as that, is how children learn, by W-A-T-C-H-I-N-G their bad adults behave…

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On the Eve of Healing Up


Always expect the unexpected, that way, NOTHING will come as a surprise, right???  Translated…

After he’d gone home, he’d started cooking, with his strength, he’d managed to flatten out three cloves of emotional words.  He’d used his bad temper to burn up the stoves, it’d made this sizzling sound……what do you think you are, olive oil?  When he’d made fried rice, the grains started missing the rice paddies, the eggs to, wanted to return to the farms.  But once the salt had been sprinkled, there’s NO looking back.  Otherwise, the lonely shadows will become salt sticks, and the vegetables are like the personalities, only wanted you to be healthy in the body, and the mind.  Frying the fish on both sides, recalling how if the ark was getting turned like so in the forceful waters, what would happen to it?………He’d eaten, with the television, what was supposed to have been stated by the newscasters wasn’t, but my silence became more sickening than the media’s.  Later, I wanted to go dump the leftovers, to walk my dog, and to help myself digest what I’d eaten, but just my luck, the rain start to pour down.

So, you’d had a rough day, when nothing went your way, and, as you were headed home, I’m sure, that you were looking for an easier night, but, the evening got harder, because you FAILED to deal with whatever’s bugging the hell out of you, and, when you leave things on the stoves like that, well, they’d get B-U-R-N-E-D, so, deal with whatever issues in your lives, N-O-W, don’t put it off!!!











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Filed under Attitude, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Losing Sight of What's Important, Marriages, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Rationalization, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Saving a Marriage, Socialization, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Exiting the Scene


The movie she’d gone to see is old and boring, a LOT of the audience left the theatres in the middle of the film.  But she’d felt, that the ticket was too pricy and that she’d be on the losing end if she didn’t finish watching the movie, so, she’d held her horses until the end.

As she’d walked out of the theatres, she’d heard someone commented, “The female leading character is so stupid, she knew her husband didn’t love her anymore, why is she so insistent in staying married?”

And that, would be the main character’s feeling, I suppose, and, hopefully, by hearing the words of that stranger, she finally realizes that her marriage wasn’t worth keeping, but, because she’d put so much time and energy into the relationship, that, is what’s keeping her from divorcing her husband, even IF there IS no more love.  It’s really sarcastic, if you really think about it.



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Filed under Awareness, Broken Promises, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Divorces, Interactions Shared with the World, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Rationalization, Saving a Marriage, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Husband Went Off the “Maps” After His Affair Went Bust, He Was Ruled to Pay a Higher Price by the Courts

If you cheat, you WILL get caught!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Wang had asked for his son’s assistance, to transfer his files from his cell, to the computer, it’d caused his wife to find out about his affair, and he’d also used the opportunity of a business trip, to travel to Japan for a vacation with the spare wheel, Lin; after his return, his wife found out that the pants he took to get altered had listed Lin’s contact information, and that there were love letters inside his car, Wang’s wife sued them both, and asked for $800,000N.T. for emotional damages.

On the first trial, the judge ruled that Wang and Lin must pay Wang’s wife $100,000N.T., Wang left his house out of anger; the highest courts rulings believed, that after Wang had his affair, he didn’t deal with it effective, and had gone into hiding, he’d abandoned his wife for thirty years, and abandoned his own family too, exacerbated his wife’s pain even more, the judge ruled that the husband and his spare wheel MUST pay Wang’s wife $300,000N.T. for certain.

Wang’s wife’s claims in court stated, that she’d been with her husband for over thirty years, they have a son and a daughter together.  Two years ago, in February, she found that her husband had been in close contact with a married woman, Lin; in May of the same year, the son had helped the husband transfer some files from his cell to the computer, and she’d found numerous photographs of her husband and Lin’s intimacies, holding each other close, kissing.  She had a huge argument with her husband, and texted Lin, “Do NOT become the spare wheel that destroy my marriage”, but Lin ignored her, and kept dating her husband.

Wang’s wife said, that two years ago in October, the husband told her that he was on business abroad, when he’d returned home, she’d helped him unpack, and found a pair of brand new pants, with the tag from the alteration with Lin’s information, and she’d found Lin’s love letters to her husband in the trunk of his car, after grilling him, she’d found out, that he’d gone on a trip with Lin on vacation.  She was emotionally distraught, and was diagnosed as severely depressed too.

Lin claimed, that she and Wang had common friends, that they’d head out to dine or to hang out, that it was within the normal socializations; that the tag on the pants had her contact, because she was doing him a favor, helping him to get his pants to be sent to get altered, that she did NOT break any laws.

Wang also claimed that he and Lin were just friends, that the love notes were a one-sided crush she’d had on him.

The first trials used the evidence stacked against the husband and his spare, and the judge found them guilty, and that they must pay the wife $100,000N.T.; Wang’s wife went for an appeal, after Wang learned, he’d gotten mad, and ran from home, refused to show up for his court dates, and because Wang’s wife couldn’t find him, she’d reported that her husband was a missing person with the police.

The story of the THREE BLINID M-I-C-E, see how they run?  Except that in THIS case, it’s see how HE ran!!!  Because this loser did wrong, and was made to pay what he thought was unreasonable, so, he went into HIS “burrows” (like those rabbits???) to DODGE his responsibilities, and that, is all too IRRESPONSIBLE still.

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Waking Up into a Reality with You, Or, Keeping Living in a Fantasy with You

Two sides of a C-O-I-N here!!!  Let’s FLIP for it, shall we???

Waking up into a reality without you, or, keeping living in a fantasy with you, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, what ARE the PROS and CONS?

Waking up in a reality without you, it will surely be hard, but at least, it’s something that’s REAL, isn’t it???  Now, let’s look at the OTHER side of the “coin”, in a fantasy with you, that should be oh, so amazing, but, the thing about that is that dreamers WILL wake, NO matter how much they don’t want to, they WILL wake, they will get dragged OUT of bed, kicking AND screaming.

Waking up in a reality without you, because that, is the way I will be living, because I’d dealt with the hard facts of life, and, I am still coping quite well, as for that fantasy?  Well, it’s been, uh, hmmmm, let’s see, oh yeah, put OUT of my FREAKIN’ mind!!!  Just like you had been casted away from my T-H-O-U-G-H-T-S…

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A Spare Wheel that Just Sucked On, and Had the Wife on Her Wit’s Ends

A Q&A, translated…

Q: L, who’d been married for twenty-five years, and her husband was a habitual cheat wrote…

The spare wheel was her husband’s first love, would talk in baby tone, and is sweet looking and beautiful, had a TON of suitors when she was younger, her husband being one of them, but because he was in the service back then, and his family background is that of a poor farmer, that, was why the spare married someone else.

Later, the two families started interacting as friends, but, not long thereafter, the spare wheel’s husband went to work in China, L quickly realized that her husband was cheating on her with his ex, the husband got down on his knees, and begged for forgiveness.  And L, on his elderly father-in-law, along with the young children’s behalf, she’d forgiven him, without knowing, that she’d realized, that not long thereafter, they’re still going at it, and the husband had made a promise to the spare, “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The children are all older now, and the father-in-law had passed on, L told her sisters-in-law about the affair that her husband was having, and the sisters-in-law all stood behind L, and they’d gone to confront the spare, without knowing, that the spare challenged them, “If you dare, go ahead and SUE, and, you might have to think, that my husband will SUE your husband too!”, and this time, L is stumped!  What is she to do?

A My Opinion

In her entire life, L had been shouldering everything, given her health, her youth, for the sake of her own family, along with her in-law’s family too; and her spoiling the husband had let him enjoy life too much, and it’d also busted his long-term affair.  The spare is a teacher, along with someone’s wife too, and after the affairs went bust, she’s NOT only unafraid, she’d told the person off, I think, that L doesn’t stand a chance.  L’s husband’s shamelessness, along with his weakness in nature, claimed that he was having an affair with her, to avenge the fact that she didn’t choose him back then.  And he’d managed to get this by L too, no wonder the spare and the husband are NOT afraid of her.

This is called the “first love complex”, and it’s merely an excuse of an affair!  And the house that L lives in, is bought by her from before the marriage, and being a retired teacher, she is totally self-confident that she could make it, then, the husband who had been cheating and lying and whoring, naturally, L can totally KICK him out.

And so, why wouldn’t she?  What, is still troubling her?  Could it be how she felt she’s still “attached” to him in the marriage?  Could it be, that she feels that he needed to suffer LONGER for his infidelities?  What is it?  And, until this woman finally figures out W-H-Y it is exactly that she couldn’t let go, she’s NOT going to be able to let go, and see that brand new set of skies…


Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Abusing Someone's Trust, Being Alone, Belief in a Just World, Crime & Punishment, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Fate, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Loss, Marriages, Maturation, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Properties of Life, Rationalization, Relationship, Saving a Marriage, Self-Deceptions, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, The Fate of a Woman, The Observer Effect, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

A Marriage that’s Worth Us, Staying In…

Someone asked, is your marriage worth staying in?  Someone else answered, “sure, why not”.

But what would make a marriage, worth, staying in?  What sort of rules, must the marriage “abide” by?  Does it need that factor of love?   But, what IF love is slowly, getting spent, and, the accounts are slowly, getting emptied out?

A marriage that is worth us, staying in, meaning that the marriage is on the verge of D-Y-I-N-G, but, it still had a breath left, and, so, we decided, to PROLONG its suffering, by electrocuting it back to the living side, and, making IT suffer, for the reasons of we’re NOT willing to let it go?  Where’s the humanity in that, I ask you!!!

When you have the doubts about whether or not the marriage you’re currently involved in is worth it, well, here’s that H-I-N-T: your marriage is on the verge of dying, and, now, you will be the ones (b/c it still involves the TWO of Y-O-U???), deciding, whether, to PULL the P-L-U-G on that nearly dead love of yours, or, to keep it connected to the RESPIRATORS, to make ITS final days harder, and, for me, I would prefer the former, than the latter, I mean, think about it: If you’re on the verge of dying, will terminal illness, would you want your families to keep you “connected”, or to let you DIE, so you won’t suffer any longer?




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