Category Archives: Old Age

The issues that comes with aging, examples of how people age, growing old, and coming to acceptance of losing control over one’s own life

The Morning Journeys of the Observer

From one’s daily routines, translated…

I’m without great wishes, I’d feel comfortable, being an observer to life!  Early in the morning, I’d hiked up that mountain, I’d always trekked slowly, looking all around me, listening to everything.

I’d passed through a steamed bun shop, with everybody gathering on the outside, I’d gone to take a look too, I saw a newborn baby, sleeping, inside the steamer of buns.  The owner of the shop said, this two months old young granddaughter of hers, doesn’t like sleeping in her own crib, instead, she’d enjoyed sleeping in the empty storage units of these buns, smelling the scent of the flour.  A group of us, older female hikers started hollering on how cute she was, wanted to wait until the baby wakes, and play with her, and, we’d bought a bun, and started holding conversations with one another.  The owner of the shop smiled and told, that her granddaughter was like the treasure for her shop, since her daughter-in-law took the baby to her to look after, her shop had gotten more and more female customers.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, the bun is aromatic, the child is fast in dreams, I’d quickly used my cell phone, to capture this version of a sleeping beauty, and added captions to the photographs.

Underneath the tree of the hiking trail entrance, a middle aged man snuck up the trees, took out a bottle of alcohol; he’d taken a large gulp, with that look of satisfaction, perhaps, his wife banned him from drinking at home, that, was the way he’d come up with, to drink, hid his special collection up in the trees?  I’d watched him curiously, the man quickly jumped off of the trees, and ran off.

The few woman in the small resting shack were chit chatting.  One of them was worried that her grandson had bad memories, couldn’t remember the lessons, one of them said, “My seventy-something mother is illiterate, but, she could recite the Buddhist verses.”  So, what’s the secret?  She said, that her mother loved listening to the Buddhist verses in her spare time, and, she’d played the tapes over and over again, and, after awhile, she’d remembered.  Nothing is difficult, there are just the people who thought the things are difficult, change a way, maybe, you can find a good way to memorize things too.

At the resting point half way to the top, I’d heard someone talked of shoulder problems, and, I’d troubled by this condition for a very long time, gone to the western meds, the eastern meds, as well as physical therapy too, and, none of it worked, I’d gone up, to ask how I can make my conditions improve, and, I’d gotten a ton of methods that others used to help themselves.

Walked further up, there was a group, dancing the trending Apple, “You are my little apple, I can love you more and more………”, the lyrics were simple, easy to remember, the group of men and women who were dancing along, sang along too.  They’d invited me to enter, I couldn’t say no, and, I’d started, dancing with the rhythm, snag with the words, worked up a sweat, and, the couple of songs that followed were too fast in tempo for me, so, I’d quit, and found my way back down the steps, headed home.

The spring is wonderful, the mountains, filled with laughter.  The observers from life, hiking up the trails, gotten endless things in return.

So, this is still how important interaction is in the older adulthood years, and, by staying active with the world around, you’re NOT only managing to enrich your life experiences, you’re also having fun, and, you can also slow the progressions of the deterioration of your own minds.

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Filed under Connections, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Observations, Old Age

The Legislations for Long-Term Care is STUCK Again, My Household is About to Get Shattered Here

This, would be the PRIMARY issue of concern, in all the world’s countries today, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Based off of the news reported by UDN NEWS, the legislations for long-term care is stuck, in the legislative department again.  It’s such a pain, just like the scholars stated, if there are NO laws tailoring to the long-term care of the elderly population, a lot of the families in this society will shatter.  All of us, siblings are trapped, in this deep and painful abyss, and, there’s still, NO end in sight.

My mother is in her eighties, has serious long-term conditions, other than heading to the doctors regularly, she’d still needed around-the-clock care, but, we’re all, regular working class, and, although we wanted to hire someone to watch my mother, but, my mother feared that she’ll drag us all down, and wouldn’t allow us to spend the money, and so, we, the siblings that are all over the island took turns, looking after her.  Even so, whenever there is a period where nobody was able to go stay with her, when my mother is left all alone on her own, we couldn’t help but worry, but, there ARE, no better ways, it’s truly, hard!  If there’s long-term care programs, and when it is required for us to, we’re willing to pay the extra fees, to kick start this program, so, my mother could be looked after well, so we can all, take time off, it would be a wonder, and, none of us needed struggle as hard on the issues.

Seeing my mother’s conditions, I’d come to my senses, that I’m almost sixty, I deeply feared that I may become a burden to my two sons, and so, I’d bought myself some long-term care insurance, my other half wanted to do this too, but, unfortunately, he has a history of long-term illness, the insurance companies wouldn’t provide the coverages.  Ahhhhhhhh!  How long, this road, to providing the long-term care for elderly is, when will it actually start working?

And so, this, is still, NOT just happening here, it’s happening, in ALL the world’s countries, because as we live longer, more health issues will surface, take of dementia, there WASN’T the diagnosis of dementia say, back in the 1900s, was it?  Nope, because people didn’t live LONG enough to get there, but now, as the human age gets longer, there’s this desperate need, for long-term care, but, can we get it???

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Filed under Basic Human Rights, Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Government, Policies, & Politics, Legislature, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, News Stories, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Professional Opinions, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Values

When Her Body & Mind Became Separated

Another one of those “outerbody experiences”, perhaps???

When her body and mind became separated, it’s like you’re talking AT her, and she’d been on “autopilot mode” of response, with the ability to answer in yes or no, and used only simple words and sentences that don’t make sense to the rest of us.

When her body and mind became separated, what, can we do, to JOLT her mind, BACK into her body?  By SHOCKING her with threats?  But studies showed (don’t ask which ones!!!) that threats is a really BAD way, to get through to someone, isn’t it?  When her body and mind became separated, there’s NOTHING we can do, but to just, wait, anxiously, until she “returns”, and sometimes, it’d be just a few seconds, then, as the day rolls on, the time became longer lasting, and now, she’d drifted for almost fifteen minutes, and, NO matter how hard we SHOOK her, it’s like, she’s O-U-T!

When her body and mind became separated, well, that, is what we have to deal with every single day now, as the progression of her illness goes.  When her body and mind became separated, there’s NOTHING we could do, but to hope, that this current LAPSE of hers will be over………


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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Life, Loss, Old Age, Properties of Life

Allowing the Elderly to Die at Home

When taking care of the elderly population became an affair of the entire community, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Last Sunday, I went with my wife to visit my mother-in-law who lives in a nursing home.  Perhaps, it was because of the coming of Mother’s Day, there are more than usual of the families who were there, there was NOT an empty seat in the meeting rooms, it was, extremely populated.

In the three years’ time, because we’d gone to visit my mother-in-law often, the elderly in the home would know us, and we’d engaged in conversations with them from time to time too.  All of the residents are all elderly, coming and going, dealing with death, became a norm here.

That day, the elderly sitting in the next table was someone whom we’d never seen before, she seemed to have been recently admitted.  Turns out, the woman accompanying her, either her daughter or daughter-in-law, kept explaining to her how well the place is, and how she’d be looked after by nurses, how wonderful it is, to be living here.

And still, the elderly woman didn’t buy it, still held her straight face, kept mumbling on how she wanted to go home.  Apparently, the woman had lost her patience, she’d stood up all of a sudden, raised her voices, yelled, “You do not have a place to live in now, do you not know that?”, and her raised voice had, alarmed everybody who was also there, and, all of a sudden, the atmosphere fell silent, and the air froze in the room.

I can understand, that the woman’s attempts to make the elderly feel that there’s NO hope whatsoever for her, to head back to her old home again, but, it’d hit all the elderly there, where it hurt them the most.  I watched my mother-in-law before me, took a long and deep breath, and my wife who’s next to her, silent, seemed, that NO amount of words of consoles would help her at all.

The subject of long-term care kept coming up, if we can allow those elderly who are still lucid, and still able-bodied, to have that feeling of home, maybe, the community live-in care program may be a bit pricy, but, it’s probably worth it!

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, I hope, that ALL the elderly can have a “place to feel comfortable” to live out the rest of their lives.

Well, this, is still, extremely IDEAL, but it’s NOWHERE NEAR real, after all, we, the younger generations are working Monday through Friday, and sometimes, we have to pull in our extra overtimes, just to make our payments for the houses, and the bills or whatever, and so, we naturally won’t have the time or the energy, to look after the aging parents or grandparents in our families, and so, sending them into nursing homes is the next best ideal, but, we fail to realize, that the elderly wanted to age in a place s/he is familiar with.  The trouble that’s facing all the generations right now…

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Filed under Life, Observations, Old Age, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

An Elderly Man in His Eighties Leapt the Building and Committed Suicide…His Final Note Was Taped to His Hands

Some bad news here, from the Newspapers, translated…

The eighty-one year-old elderly got tired of being ill for a very long time, early yesterday morning at around five, he’d climbed to the roof of his twelve-story building, took the leap downward, and died, the body was discovered, with a note, taped to the left hand, the families confirmed, that it was, in the elderly’s own handwriting, and, they have NO opinions of the police, ruling it as a suicide.

The police stated, that most who’d committed suicide would leave the last note where they’d leapt, or inside one’s own home, there would be rare incidents where the suicide notes were taped to the person who’d committed suicide, suspected, that Lin may fear, that after he was gone, nobody could find his final note, that, was why he’d taped it to himself, but, this action had made the police feel, that the cause of his death wasn’t so clear cut.

The police investigated, that the elderly and his three daughters and a son all lived in the same community in Sanchong District, but they all had apartment complexes, the elderly lived with a foreign bedside assistant; the family said, that the elderly had been diagnosed with multiple illnesses, Parkinson’s, bloating in his lungs, couldn’t control his bowel movements and bladder, before he’d died, he’d complained to them on how he’d wanted to die.

Yesterday at around five in the morn, the elderly man took advantage of the time when his bedside assistant was fast asleep, climbed to the roof of his twelve floor building, took the leap downward, as the neighbors heard the loud sound, at first, they thought that it was a gas explosion, and called the police to report it as a gas explosion, as the police came to the scene, they’d found the elderly man, lying in a pool of blood, with multiple fractures, and because the impact of him, hitting the ground was very hard, his right arm was severed from his torso, he was, clearly, dead.

In his suicide note, the elderly mentioned of how he’d been diagnosed with multiple serious condition, that he’s elderly, and didn’t want to be troublesome to his families; after the family members read the note, confirmed that it was in his handwriting, and didn’t have any rebuttal toward the police, ruling the man’s death as a suicide.

This, is what old age will look like, because you’re ill, and, you feel, that life isn’t worth anything anymore, so, you’d committed suicide, and maybe, being sick can get you in an awful mood, and, being elderly makes you think, that there’s not that much keeping you here, but, what about your children?  Or those who cared about, and loved you?

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Issues of the Society, Mental Health Issues, Old Age, Suicides, the Finality of Life, The Right to Choose How One Will Die

The Words, Slowly, Vansihed, from Her Mind

As the illness progressed…

The words, slowly, vanished, from her mind, whereas before, she’d get into that fighting, feisty mentality, when she felt challenged by someone, and now, she just sits, staring, into space.

The words, slowly, vanished, from her mind, and, she’d started, having troubles, keeping up with the conversations that were, going around, finding it hard for her, to keep track, to follow, and eventually, she’d stopped, chiming in, or, asking others, what they’re talkin’ about…

The words, slowly, vanished, from her mind, and, as the day passed, she’d become, more, and more withdrawn, and, she’d turned into, a prisoner, of the confines, of her own mind, and, although she’s the one with the key to unlock, gosh!  She’d forgotten where the key was!

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Filed under Awareness, Being Alone, Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Despair, Loss, Observations, Old Age

There Will Come a Day, When I’m No Longer Able to Care for You

Working hard, trying, to delay, the INEVITABLE, or to STALL it, long as we possibly can here…

There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, and, I feel so awful, because I feel like I’m betraying you, but, taking care of you had become, more, and more arduous by the day.

 As your dementia progressed, your schedules are flipped, upside down, you’re wide awake, wandering about, when you’re supposed to sleep, you’d lost control over your bowels and start urinating, defecating, all over the house, and I still, followed closely, behind you, picking up, after your mess, because you’d done the same for me, when I was younger.

There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, and, you may hate me for doing this, but, I have NO other choice, as taking care of you became way too difficult for me to manage, and, I’m slowly, falling, deep, into that valley of depression, and, I’m dreading waking up each and every single day now, because I have you, to look after.

Maybe, it’ll be for the best, allowing you get the professional care you need, because I can no longer provide that for you, and, it’d allow me, to have time to breathe too.  There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, but, until that day comes, I will still stay, by your side, helping you, cope with your daily living, as living had become, more and more difficult by the day…

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Filed under Betrayals, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Letting Go, Life, Loss, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life