Tag Archives: How We Were Raised

The Experts: the Psychological Issues Weren’t Resolved, the Primary Suspect May Offend Again

On the male college student who’d endured, police brutality, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The younger generation of a food producing plant, Chang because of a fender bender, beaten the male college student, Song to severely injured, psychiatrists believed, that Chang has records of physical assault, that it may not be related to living under authoritarian parents, or that he was from a single-parent family, the biggest problem lies in that he has poor emotional control, hostility toward others, that there are the hidden negative psychological traits that’s caused him to behave like so; if there’s no resolve to change his lack of emotional control, there’s a high chance that he may well, offend again.

Chang had previous records of traffic violations already, beating on his fellow servicemen; the professor of the counseling department of Changwha Teacher’s College said, there are instances where we may get into conflict with each other, including getting into a wreck with someone, most people will be able to communicate well enough, solve the matter with reasoning.  Chang’s inability to use his words to express, and used his fists and feet, the only way to resolve is by finding the causes of his behaviors, then resolve that cause.

The head of the Changwha Christ Hospital’s Justice Psychiatric Unit, Wang believed, that how the child is disciplined, strict or not, isn’t related to how the person turns into in adulthood, but, if there’s that high pressure environment at home, disciplinarian parenting, lacking in communications, the child will more than likely, duplicate what s/he picked up in childhood, and carry that to interacting with others around her/him.

He told, to see if someone has the risk of violent behaviors, we need to examine if the individual has a history of violence, alcohol or drug addictions, the military is considered a high-tension environment, Chang still behaved violently, and, he suspect that Chang may have antisocial personality traits.

He also believes, that compare to ordinary people, there’s a low rate of violent attacks caused by mental illness, the disciplines of children isn’t reliant solely on the “words”, sometimes, violence IS, violence, not necessarily, psychologically, psychiatrically, related.  Violence has to do with personality traits, the correctional facilities need to intervene professionally with the violent criminals, the medical treatment measures is only part of the equation.

And so, what makes a man violent, his nature or his nurture?  A combination of both?  Or, do we, model the actions of violence, internalize what we watch our adult counterparts do, and then, we act out, and, based off of this case, it’s probably, all of the above!  And it’s still the families’ faults, for not doing RIGHT by their own young, because, the families failed to function right, how the @$#% can you expect the person who came out of this, malfunctioning families, to act right?

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Filed under Abuse, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Nature vs. Nurture, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Please Let Go, and Trust in Me, Having an Overbearing Mother

The problem here, is still NOT with the daughter, but with the mother, but, does she realize it???  Of course N-O-T, translated…

From awhile ago, on the news, a certain organization had been losing money by the year, the second-generation owner decided to sell of the office building, for cash, the founder, as he was, interviewed, stated, “My heart ached as my son did it, but now, I’d, trusted in his decisions entirely!”

This pair of father and son made me so envious, and at the same time, I’d, felt heartache for them both, because how I’d, wished that my own mother, can trust me like this father had his own son too.

From the views of the world, I guess, I’m, the pride of my parents: made high grades, gone to an all-star institution, and, managed to pass the exams for a public office on my very first try, I’d never needed my parents to worry over my school performances or my work.

Although my mother stated verbally, that I’d, done well for myself, but she’d, never had faith, that I can, handle things on my own, whether it be how I’d spent my money, how to treat others I meet, whether to have children after I married, who should care for my child if s/he was born…………my mother’s criticisms came at me, never-ending, “it’s for your sake”, was her most widely used phrase, and her weapon.

She’d never understood, that what she’d believed to be a show of care and concern, her nagging, was interpreted as how she didn’t trust me enough, I’d tried to tell her, but her response was always, “Those with your last names, can’t take any criticisms from others!”

When I was interning, I’d, lived at home, I’d had a crash on a rainy day, and, as I’d, bent my knees, my injuries started bleeding, but I’d not let my mother know, I’d, bent down, holding the pains in, as I’d helped clean up the house, until my mother rode out to get the groceries, and found the head of the motorcycle dented, that, was when she’d, found out.  I’d gotten into another, serious crash after I was married, and, it’d been years to this very day, I’d still, not told my parents what had happened to me.

Of the two wrecks I got in, I was, very scared, but I knew, that other than feeling anxious over me, and nagging me, my parents couldn’t do anything for me, and they’d, surely, blamed me, for being, too careless too.  And so, no matter how painful, I’d much rather, hide the truth from them.

I’d never doubted the love my mother had for me, but every time, as I’d, wanted to show affection towards her, she’d started, lecturing me, and in the end, she’d added, “Nobody else is going to tell you this, I’m your mother, that was why, for your sake, I’m, telling, you the truth!”  in my mother’s mind, I’ll never be, enough, there are, always things, I can, improve, and, all of my good performances are, matter-of-fact, and yet, the imperfections, are what pricked at her, and she’d needed to, get rid of them.

But, my dearest mother, you know what?  Your daughter may not be perfect, but, she’d always tried very hard, worked hard, can you just, let go, and trust in me?

And, hopefully, this woman’s mother can see this article, and change the way she interacts with her daughter, but, I’m still, NOT holding MY breath, because parents like these, they think what they’re doing, IS for the good of their young, and they just keep on, doing whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they’re doing, using their same old ways, probably because they were, treated as such by their own parents (‘cuz these sorts of SHITS still gets passed down, from one generation to the next, like D.N.A.???) and this daughter is going to, have a very difficult time, getting closer to her mother that’s for sure…

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Filed under Adult Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Enmeshment, Everyone Else's Fault, Family Dynamics, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lessons, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Overbearing Parents, Overinvolvements of Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Psycho Parents, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls