Tag Archives: Cross-Generation Upbringing

The Chinese-American Child Who Lived Downstairs, Getting Along with the Neighbors

Translated…

There was a grandmother who lived with an American child on the sixth floor of our building, the child’s name is Han-Han, he has blonde hair, white skin, and a bright set of eyes, plus his smiling face, we all loved him very much.  Every time I met them in the elevators, I am always very happy, I’d played with Han-Han, seeing how naïve and cute he is, I’d felt, that this, is as good as life gets.

Han-Han is the elderly woman’s maternal grandson, the grandmother’s daughter many years ago, as she was earning her master’s degree in the States, met Han-Han’s father, he’s an economics major, after they both graduated, they’d stayed in the States to work.  Later, they got married, a decade ago, after Han-Han’s older sister was born, the parents had sent her back to Taiwan, and left her in the care of her grandmother, until two years ago when she became school age, did the parents took her back to the States, and then, Han-Han was left in Taiwan.

Han-Han’s grandma is already in her seventies, and treated herself real well, she looked physically healthy, and has that liveliness about her when she talked, and, nobody knew her real age without being told; especially that she’d taught Han-Han well, he was very courteous to us all, and we the neighbors all loved him very much.  Every time we saw Han-Han, when we have our cameras, we would surely take a photo of him, then, we’d gotten the pictures developed, and given them to his grandmother to keep, waiting until her daughter returns, then, she could bring the pictures back with her to the States, and they’re all very glad we did this.

Recently, Han-Han who’s about to turn three is growing up really quickly, he’d run and jump very well on his own, very naughty too, when he’d seen me, other than calling to me courteously, if I’d asked him what his name was, he’d look at me with that playful look on his face, “I’m ‘grandma’”, and it would make both his grandmother and I laugh real hard.

That day, when I took the photographs to their place, I saw how Han-Han was riding his bicycle with his helmet on like he’s Peter Pan, with an intoxicating grin on his face, with this cute a child as our neighbors, it’d filled my life up with bliss.

And so, this child is left in the care of his grandmother, until he’s old enough to be taken back to the parents’ side, and that, is still the WRONG way to raise your kid, after all, the kids need BOTH parents, but, this little boy is taught very well by his grandmother, however, the grandmother is still NO replacement for the mother AND the father of this child.

 

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The Younger Brother Just Got Engaged, and Had a Car Wreck, Became Depressed, Could This Be Why He’d Committed Suicide?

Here’s a little BIT more about the family, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The brothers the Chens who committed suicide yesterday, because their father died when they were real young, their mother left home, and they were given to their grandparents who were farmers to raise, after the tragedies, everybody who knew them felt very sad over the matter.  The distant regions in Nantou are filled with these cross generation upbringings, and the problems that will arise out of these families are becoming more and more alarming for the society.

This May, the grandmother who was diagnosed with hypertension was found dead in the tea plantation, and the siblings who were so reliant on her had felt a harder blow than everybody else did.  The neighbors all told, that the siblings were very courteous toward others regularly, the older brother works as a chef, and the youngest just got out of the armed services and was engaged in May.  And, based off of understanding, back in May, the younger brother had a car accident, and had disclosed how strained he felt because of the matter, and asked the grandparents to stop worrying, but, it still didn’t stop this tragedy from happening.

The Lifeline Foundation CEO of Nantou, Lu said, that there are many incidences of cross-generation upbringing in the distant regions in Nantou, a lot of the grandparents who “raised their grandkids up” all claimed, “we’re only responsible for keeping them fed and warmly dressed, it is difficult, for us to instill the right kinds of values in them”.  In families that are well economically, getting the kids fed was hard enough, and so, nobody can blame these grandparents.  “These two brothers just met a fork in their roads, and couldn’t pass through it, it’s really heart aching”, Lu believed, that the MOST important matter, is how to help counsel these families out of their difficult times.

And so, this tragic accident is still a combination of how the young men wouldn’t tell anyone about their troubled minds, and the LACK of the supports from the government, and the lack of resources, to offer them the assistance that they were needing, is all involved, in the causing of these two young men’s deaths, and yet, this, is still ALL hindsight…

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