Treating the Child as If S/he is Treasured, and, S/he Will Become a Treasure

Child rearing practices, translated…

Hsiu-Jen Huang had volunteered, for multiple years for Tzu-Chi Foundation, she and her husband are both very much into the nonprofit work, they didn’t plan to have children, they wanted to spend more time, helping others.  Until before Huang’s mother died, Huang didn’t want to part with her, plus the elder’s belief of it’s embarrassing that her married daughter never had an offspring, and, she had a thought, wanting her mother, to “become my child”.

Burned on Both Ends by the Difficulties and Life

A year after Huang’s mother passed on, at the séance, her son, Dzi-Cheng Wang was born.  Huang and her husband had never expected that this “reincarnation” of her mother, was an extremely difficult hardship that’s given to them by the gods.

As her son was young, Huang would often receive complaints from all around about her son, sometimes, the schools would tell how he’d picked on someone in his class, etc., etc., etc……………

Back then, she didn’t understand it all, she’d chosen to believe the instructors words, and after her son came home from school, she’d beaten him, as discipline.  Until later on, her son acted up even more, until two years later, when they took him to the doctors, and that, was when the diagnosis of ADHD was assigned to her son.

Huang said, from how she didn’t want to have children and just volunteered to help others, to having a child who’s diagnosed with ADHD, it’s hard for her to accept.  Every day, she’d burned on both ends, she’d sunk down into the defeat.  Even, in order to take care of their son, the couple had given up on multiple opportunities to go on help trips with the foundation, which was, totally the OPPOSITE of her life goals.

Awhile ago, there’s the case where the student, Jie Cheng started randomly shooting on the MRT, a lot of the public are cussing Jie Cheng and her families out, and still, for Huang, who has son with A.D.H.D., she was shocked.

Understanding, Using Love, to Change Him

Huang said, when her son couldn’t be controlled, he would often say nasty things to her, or mutilate himself.  And, whether to medicate their son, she and her husband argued about this matter too, and, the insurmountable number of trials had caused the family to start cracking.

Until later on, one of her son’s school teachers told Huang, “Treating your child as if he were treasure, he will be a treasure; if you treated him like trash, then, he will behave like trash”.  That, was the moment of truth for her, and she’d started using an alternative way, to treat her own son.

Help Her Son Develop Interests to Burn Out His Excess Energy

In order to help drain out her son’s never-spent energy, Huang closely observed what her son was into, and signed him up for Lego class, have him joining the soccer team of their community, every weekend, she’d even taken him to horseback riding therapy, to have her son do multiple balance activities on the horseback, to help him focus him attention longer, so he will NOT allow his emotions to run wild.

And now, even though, the son would still interrupt the adults from time to time, but, Huang had slowly, let go of the negative emotions she carried because of it.

With a thick file, with documentations of how her son had changed, Huang hoped that her son, who was cultivated by love, will eventually, live under his own great big skies.

And so, this, is how this mother learned to deal with her son, with A.D.H.D., and, DO remember, that A.D.H.D. is merely a label, for YOU, fucking adults, because you stupid adults want an EASIER way, to classify us, child, and, so what IF the kid acts up in school?  That could mean a great deal of things: the material that the teacher’s teaching isn’t challenging enough, the classes are way too boring, to keep the kid STIMULATED, and so, naturally, as the kid gets bored, he would start to interrupt, and, this mother changed her mindset about her son, and so, the child changed too, so, the changes still starts with ALL of you, PARENTS, and so, STOP blaming everything on those god DAMN medical diagnoses, all it takes, to help a child grow up strong and better IS nothing more than a little MORE patience!

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Filed under Awareness, Children with Disabilities & Rare Conditions, Life, Parenting, Perspectives, Properties of Life

When the Child Can No Longer Hold in Her/His Own Emotions

On the education of the young, translated…

Maybe you had the troubles of: my kid gets angered easily, how can I have my kid learn to control her/his emotions more?  What can I do, regularly, to help her/him manage her/his emotions?

Tip: Transference of Emotion

You should start guiding your child to divert her/his attention, to soothe the negative emotions s/he had experienced regularly.

  • Have her/him practice taking deep breaths, count out her/his own heartbeats, or silently recite the poetry of the olden times.
  • Wash the face, take a shower, to cool oneself down
  • Doodle, draw, work on Sudoku
  • Have your child hum her/his favorite tunes
  • Take a walk outdoors, to see the flowers, the trees, the insects, the birds.
  • Have her/him focus on the secondhand on her/his watch
  • Talk to the pets, whether it be a Persian cat, a gerbil, a poodle, or a rabbit, it’s fine.
  • Watch Spongebob Square Pants, along with the other characters, to have a good laugh.
  • Focus on that beautiful fish swimming in the fish tank at home, or that slowly moving along turtle.
  • When it rains, have your child focus on the raindrops fallen onto the ground, or to listen to the sound of the rain, or to open the windows, to allow her/his face to feel the cool breezes from the wind.

And, the purpose of all of these, is to divert your child’s mind off of what’s pissing her/him off, to take her/him OUT of the place that s/he feels mad in temporarily, and maybe, that will do the trick, who knows?

Tip: a Hug

When your child looks angry, you can stop reasoning with her/him, like you would usually do, try going up to her/him, tapping her/him gently on the shoulders, or give her/him a great big bear hug, the intimate body language may sometimes work better than the endless words of reasons.

By hugging that child who is angry, you’re NOT only acknowledging that it’s okay, for her/him to get angry, you’re also giving the child, a safe place to be in, and, this is very useful, especially when the child isn’t at all, verbally expressive yet.  A hug can melt just about anything here.

Tip: Imagine a Puffer Fish

To help your child practice self-control, using hints and imagination are the keys of success.  For instance, make your child imagine, a puffer fish, try to have her/him, learn to control breathing in certain amount of air or water into her/his stomach, at the moment that rage started appearing—imagine the puffer fish puffing up, like how you’re trying to hold down your own angers, try to let your emotions be controlled and let out, of course, within the realms of what’s accepted.

Once again, this, is still visualization, by making that child who’s red in the face, imagine how a puffer fish looks, and ask her/him to let the air out of her/his system, you’re able, to help the child, release ALL the negative energies that were pent up on the inside, thus, effectively, diffusing the anger that’s about to blow up in everybody’s face.

Tip: Imagine a Scene from Nature

Practice using the imagined scenes from nature, allowing yourselves, to find that calm.  There are magical powers to imagination, for instance, a peaceful lake, a sea, without the tidal waves, sitting underneath the sycamore tree on a plain, or seeing a rose bud, ready to bloom.

Visualization is what this is all about, IF you can visualize yourselves being, feeling that calm state of mind, then, you would achieve that state of mind, of calm you desperately needed.

Tip: Add Dialogues to the Scenes Imagined

Imagine the scenes from nature, then, add a dialogue with oneself to it, to allow the child to better manage her/his emotions.  For example: “my volcano is slowly fuming up, and, it’s about to go back into dormancy.”  “My anger plates no longer bumped into each other anymore, the energies had found an outlet”, use a sentence, to add to the motives to stabilize one’s own emotional state of mind.

This is still introspection, knowing, being in tune with oneself, knowing thay you need some time away, and, find that peace of mind inside, and, you will find your calm.

Tip: Find Your Own Peaceful Oceanfront

This may be a corner of your houses, your child’s bedroom, or maybe, the pasture outside or by the riverbanks, so long as it’s a place that can make us feel calm, it would work well.  Do try to help your child, find a “peaceful ocean” that’s solely hers/his.

The kid just need to be left alone, to sort out her/his own emotions, have some QUIET time, stupid parents, and yet, NONE of you adults get that, and you are just too hurried, to get your kid out of that foul mood, because you FEARED the effects of her/him being a foul mood for a long time may have on her/him, and so, you FAILED to realize that your kid may need some QUIET time, and so, you still keep pushing her/him, nonstop, and you wonder W-H-Y s/he blows UP???  Are you all FUCKING retarded, or, are you all just FUCKING R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D???

Tip: the Rhapsody of Suppressed Emotions

When the child has kept the negative emotions pent up on the inside way too long, and, it would be worrisome, for the parents, that these negative emotions might become soured.  The more you’d suppressed the emotions, it wouldn’t be like wine, getting better with time, instead, it would turn your child into an unexploded time bomb.  You must understand, that the suppression can only work, in the smallest amounts.

Tip: Pour the Milk of Emotions Out at Proper Times

How long has it been, since your child shared what’s on her/his mind with you?  Even though, s/he’s impulsive, but, in the realms of emotional expressiveness, s/he seemed to kept everything pent up on the inside.  I would suggest you, to use the concept of the “milk of emotion”, to try to guide him to tell you what’s on his mind or how s/he is feeling.  Allow your child to exercise her/his imaginations, first, set up an expiration date for the thoughts and feelings s/he wanted to express, like how the milk on the shelves of stores have it.  The expiration date of all these thoughts and emotions can maybe set, for a week’s time.

This should be done regularly, like before bed time, when you’re tucking your child into bed, just LISTEN to her/him, tell you about what’d happened to her/him during the day, to help them ease their minds, after all, after a whole day’s worth of things happening, there’s BOUND to be a TON of emotional garbage that needs to get DUMPED out, so, just L-I-S-T-E-N!

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Filed under Education of Young Children, Parenting, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Recalling of Dreams

It’s been too long, since we were both reminded, of those dreams we’d had since we were children, and, when we finally DO recall those childhood fantasies, we’d taken a closer look at ourselves, and realized, just how F-A-R we’d drifted, from our original goals, I mean, sure, NOT everybody gets to become the president, an astronaut, an acrobat at the circus…

Recalling of dreams, it sure does, bring back tons of memories, don’t it? Thinking back to when we were still able, to have dreams, ahhhhhhhhhh, those, were the days, but, where are they now?  Did the harshness of our realities, gobble them up already?  Were we the ones, who’d slaughtered our own dreams?

Recalling the dreams, what’s the U-S-E? There’s NO point, ruminating over those childhood, childish fantasies, you are NO longer young, and, with life chasing behind your back, nipping at your heels every single day, you must hurry up!

So, no time, to recall those dreams, and, just save them, for at night, when you fall asleep, then, you can allow your imaginations, to run wild and free. But not in your waking hours, NOT when you are away from home, in the office, working, you DO realize, that that space cadet tendency of yours, can and WILL get you fired, right?

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Innocence Lost, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams

A Blog of Reblogs

Hello, can’t you be ORIGINAL, and come up with the things you post on your own blogs ON your own, instead of plagiarizing someone ELSE’s ideas?  And, can’t you come up with anything ORIGINAL to say at ALL???

A blog of reblogs, I actually hadn’t come across one yet (thank heavens!!!), and, whoever the HELL that started a blog of reblogs, I have to say (and no, I still won’t apologize for my THOUGHTS!!!) you lack originality, creativity, and so, you can only “copy” off of someone else’s work, and, even IF you DID cite the individual who’s blogs you’d reblogged from, that still doesn’t change the fact, that those ideas didn’t come from you at all.

A blog of reblogs, this, is something I will NEVER be doing, and yeah, I may still reblog someone else’s stuff, because what they put down touched me or whatever, but I will NOT have a blog, of reblogs, and that, is that!

And, I still have to say, that this, is still NOT directed toward ANYBODY out there, and I still don’t know IF there’s a blog, that consists of solely reblogs from someone else’s stuff either, so…

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Filed under Awareness, Excuses, Lessons Learned, Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Trends, Work Ethics

The Day Before the Rampage

This, is still the CALM before the storms!!!

On the day before the rampage, the perpetrator (shooter???) went to school, attended her/his classes as s/he had always done, and kept to her/himself as s/he had done, for ever since s/he’d started going to school.

The day before the rampage, nobody noticed anything wrong with the shooter, because the shooter wears her/his mask well, and because of how well s/he covered her/himself up, nobody knew, until the next day they all came to school, and GOT shot!

The day before the rampage, you may feel that chill, because how calm things appeared to be, on the surface, while feeling, that something’s building up, you just don’t know WHAT it could be, because it still hasn’t happened Y-E-T.

The day before the rampage, everybody still went about their business, like they all did, the parents dropped their kids off at school, then, headed off to work, like ANY given workday, and, NONE of them still has a SINGLE clue, of what, was about to happen, the very next day…………

The day before the rampage, that boy who shot a TON of people, was still his antisocial self, and because he’d been antisocial ALL along, ever since he’d started school here, everybody took the day before the rampage as any regular school day.

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Filed under Behavior Modifications, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Gun Control, Hindsight, Issues of the Society, Messed Up Values, Murder, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Unsafe in the Schools, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Save the Hobbies for After the Retirement

It is, very important, that you save the hobbies, for after the retirement, when your schedules, all of a sudden, opened RIGHT UP, and you have NOTHING BUT time on your hands.

Save the hobbies for after the retirement, you WILL need them, because your kids had ALL flown the nest, and, you’ll feel more empty than ever, facing that BIG ol’ house alone on your own, so, you must use some of the hobbies you were interested in, but never had the time for, for this time.

Save the hobbies for after the retirement, because when you still had that five to nine (‘cuz 9 to 5 ain’t cuttin’ it no more???) regular, and, now you’re all of a sudden, retired, you are now left, with a TON of extra, extra, EXTRA time that you don’t know WHAT to do with, on your hands, and, if you’d saved the hobbies, then, you will be glad that you had……………

Save the hobbies for after the retirement, because after the retirement, you’ll have a WHOLE lot of extra time on your hands, and, guess what, your kids don’t need you to SIT for your grandchildren that often, and so, IF you don’t have hobbies saved up, then, you will have NOTHING to do, to occupy your time……and that, is a VERY bad way, to live out your retirement!

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Filed under Expectations, Hindsight, Life, Perspectives, Planning for the Future, Properties of Life, Retirement, Values

When the Homecoming Prince Became the Gunman

From the Associated Press, written by D. Esser, and M. Bellisle, found on MSNNEWS.com

MARYSVILLE, Wash. (AP) — A student recently crowned freshman class Homecoming prince walked into his Seattle-area high school cafeteria Friday and opened fire, killing one person and shooting four others — including two of his cousins — before turning the gun on himself, officials and witnesses said.

Students said the gunman was staring at his victims as he shot them inside the cafeteria at Marysville-Pilchuck High School. The shootings set off a chaotic scene as students ran from the cafeteria and building in a frantic dash to safety, while others were told to stay put inside classrooms at the school 30 miles north of Seattle.

The gunman was identified as student Jaylen Fryberg, a government official with direct knowledge of the shooting told The Associated Press. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.

Students and parents said Fryberg was a member of a prominent family from the nearby Tulalip Indian tribes and a freshman who played on the high school football team. He was introduced at a football game as a prince in the 2014 Homecoming court, according to a video shot by parent Jim McGauhey.

Marysville Police Commander Robb Lamoureux said the gunman died of a self-inflicted wound, but he could not provide more details.

Shaylee Bass, 15, a sophomore at the school, said Fryberg had recently gotten into a fight with another boy over a girl.

“He was very upset about that,” said Bass, who was stunned by the shooting.

“He was not a violent person,” she said. “His family is known all around town. He was very well known. That’s what makes it so bizarre.”

Three of the victims had head wounds and were in critical condition. Two unidentified young women were at Providence Everett Medical Center, and 15-year-old Andrew Fryberg was at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, a hospital official said.

Another victim, 14-year-old Nate Hatch, was listed in serious condition at Harborview, the hospital said. Family members told KIRO-TV that Andrew Fryberg and Hatch are cousins of Jaylen Fryberg.

Witnesses described the shooter as methodical inside the cafeteria.

Brian Patrick said his daughter, a freshman, was 10 feet from the gunman when the shooting occurred. She ran from the cafeteria and immediately called her mother.

Patrick said his daughter told him, “The guy walked into the cafeteria, pulled out a gun and started shooting. No arguing, no yelling.”

A crowd of parents later waited in a parking lot outside a nearby church where they were reunited with their children. Buses dropped off students evacuated from the school, and some ran to hug their mothers and fathers.

Patrick said after the shooting that his other daughter, a senior at the school, was “hysterical” when she called him from her classroom.

“I thought, ‘God let my kids be safe,” he said.

Some students described Jaylen Fryberg as a happy, popular student, but social media accounts suggested he was struggling with an unidentified problem.

On Wednesday, a posting on his Twitter account read: “It won’t last … It’ll never last.” On Monday, another tweet said: “I should have listened. … You were right … The whole time you were right.”

Marysville-Pilchuck High School has a number of students from the Tulalip Indian tribes.

Ron Iukes, a youth counselor with the tribes, said Jaylen Fryberg was from a well-known tribal family.

“They’re real good people, very loving, a big part of the community,” he said. “Jaylen was one of our good kids. It’s just a shock this happened. I’ve known this boy since he was a baby.”

Nathan Heckendorf, a 17-year-old junior at the high school, said he saw Jaylen Fryberg on Friday morning before the shooting and there was nothing to indicate he was upset.

“He looked happy, everything seemed fine,” Heckendorf said.

State Sen. John McCoy, a tribal member, said the shooting devastated the tribal community.

“We’re all related in one shape or form. We live and work and play together,” he said.

Hundreds of people prayed and sang at a church vigil Friday night for victims and family members.

The Oak Harbor high school football team, which had been set to play Marysville later that night, lined the front row of Grove Church in their purple jerseys. The game was canceled and Oak Harbor offered to give the win to Marysville.

“It’s something we need,” Felecia Thompson said about the vigil. “And getting together right away, we can help move through it.”

And we still have, ANOTHER person who couldn’t handle the stresses from his own life, and took it out on everybody else, and I’m quite certain, that his “homecoming prince” never thought, that he would do something like this, but, the angers or whatever’s pent up inside of him didn’t get sorted out, and, at the single moment in time, it went B-O-O-M, and, the casualties are still, many deaths, and more wounded…and I’m still thinkin’ that this, may well be prevented, but it still wasn’t………so, light that candle, for that vigil thing, until the next time, someone takes another GUN to school and opens FIRE again!

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Gun Control, Messed Up Values, Properties of Life, Suicides, Violence in Schools, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence