Lutnick’s Going Off at the Dinner in Davos, Angering the Countries of Europe

See how lack of RESPECT for other countries’ leaders Trump and his MINIONS are, how he had, singlehandedly DESTROYED the originally connected global community, to now, everything’s shifted toward every country (man) for it (her/him) self…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Mocking that the European Countries Lacked the Competitive Edge, with the Audience Booing Him, Lagarde, the President of the European Bank Marched Out in Anguish, the Banquet Ended Hastily

On the dinner banquet at Davos, Switzerland on the evening of the 21^st, the Secretary of Commerce, Lutnick, in his speech, he’d criticized the countries in Europe sharply, causing Lagarde, the C.E.O. of European Central Bank to walk out, and there were booing from the members of the audience toward Lutnick, the banquet ended before its time.  This became another valid evidence of the rising tensions between U.S. and Europe.

the LOWLIFE of the Trump REGIME, talking TRASH about PM of Canada, off of YouTube

The Wall Street Journal and the Financial Times reported, that as the attendees of the banquet had described, this banquet was sponsored by the chair of the World Economic Forum, the C.E.O. of BlackRock Global Fund, Fink as the host, and only the V.I.P.s were invited to attend.  Lutnick was the last to speak on the banquet, the individuals who were there disclosed, that in Lutnick’s speech, he came down hard on the energy policies of European countries, claimed that Europe had declined in competitive edge in the global spheres, and emphasized how U.S. is nothing like Europe.

Before Lutnick was done with his speech, Lagarde got up and left.  Some believed, that Lutnick’s words were a combat for how European officials such as Lagarde’s calling out to the countries in Europe to stand together to fight for the E.U., and to show the financial capabilities of the countries in Europe.

Lutnick’s provocative words, caused some of the audience to applaud him, but, it’d also caused the “boos”, and there were more than one participant who’d gotten up and left.  Fink called to the attendees to remain calm; later, before the desserts were served, Fink announced that the banquet was, over before its scheduled, end.

On this, the spokesperson of European Central Bank through an email on the 21^st, to The Wall Street Journal, “No comment”.  The spokesperson of the U.S. Department of Commerce claimed, that Lutnick spoke for about three minutes, that during the time, “nobody rushed out in a hurry, there was only one person booing, which was the former vice president, Gore.”

Gore responded, that he’d sat through the entirety of Lutnick’s speech, and “didn’t interrupt him in any way.”  But Gore stated, “I believe that the U.S. government’s energy policies are absurd, this is not a secret anymore.  After he’d finished his speech, I’d expressed my thoughts, so did others.”

another one on how Trump tried to acquire Greenland at the conference, off of YouTube

On the 21^st, The Economist titled an article, “The Real Threat Created by Trump”, believing that the U.S. president, Trump’s intentions of annexing Greenland and his threat of imposing a higher rate of tariffs may be a tactile retreat, the real risk lies in how he belittles N.A.T.O.  The countries in Europe need to build up their own individual capabilities, to get ready for the futures of N.A.T.O. dissolving, and the other allied countries of the U.S. will also need to prepare for fending their own.

The article believes, that Greenland is only a tip of the iceberg, there’s no possibility of changing Trump’s beliefs of how the allies of the U.S. are leeches, all other allied countries of the U.S. from Europe to other regions of the world, get ready to fight on one’s own.  Europe should MAKE America suffer the consequences of losing it as an ally, and, warn the U.S., that the policies set by Trump will turn the countries in the world against each other.

And so, this is, the COLD HARD truth, Trump isn’t just MAKING enemies FOR the U.S., he’s also made the countries in this world turn against each other, and, unless all these other countries in the world BAND together as a whole (yeah, that’ll happen!!!), then, Trump will continue to stay on the very top, but, if all the other countries in the world, put all their differences aside, then, the globe just might (just might, I said!), have a fighting chance, against the dominion of the tyrant who THINKS he can, dominate this, entire, global world, Trump!

another video of Trump’s GOONIE, also can’t get enough of HIMSELF, just like his, “master” too, off of YouTube

But, the preset is that all you other countries need to put your differences aside (uh, like that’s ever gonna happen!), and AIM that GUN toward the DIVIDED STATES of Trump (no longer the “United States of America” no more!!!)…

After the Fall of Life’s, Curtains

How the next generations believed, that there’s no need to follow all the overelaborate rituals of the funeral processions, while those who died, believed that going out with a huge BANG, is what made their lives, meaningful, without realizing, that they’re ALL MAKING troubles for those who are still, living, because we ARE the one, left with the, “clean up job”…translated…

I’d come up north to pay my final respects toward my older sister’s father-in-law, the newly constructed funeral parlor was quite extravagant, on the non-weekends or holidays, there were the visitors from all over, it’d turned my beliefs of how funeral homes should look upside down.  As I walked into the plaque places, seeing a row of photos of the deceased persons, it’d made me slowed down, as I’d paid my final, respects to those who are, already, gone.

how it’s done in traditionally Asian communities, with the funeral procession groups, dressed in linen, the setting off of firecrackers, the funeral tunes played…photo from online

My older sister’s father-in-law was an attorney, he’d kept his post at work, did everything for the people who needed him best as he, could, and, as he’d become demented in the elderly years, his health deteriorated away, until ultimately, he’d, passed, on.  Of the two sons, his younger had immigrated to Australia, as the eldest son, my brother-in-law shouldered the care of both his parents alone, and no matter how hard work was, how busy, he’d put everything he had, into caring for his, aging, parents without any, complaints.  My older sister who’s an elementary school instructor, felt her husband’s hardships, she’d paid for her in-laws’ homes on the down payments near their homes in a total of six million dollars N.T., so my brother-in-law can go and check in on his parents often.

There’s not the nitty gritty of the ritualistic of the funeral requirements for those who had migrated from China, the families, other than showing up for the first seven days straight after my older sister’s father-in-law’s passing, and the final week of the forty-nine days of mourning, the rest of the time, they’d worked as they ordinarily, would, for their own, living.  Based off of traditions, the offerings during the first week of death are usually scheduled at nighttime, and now, it was from eight to ten in the mornings.  Once after the offering ceremonies ended, my brother-in-law rushed to the airport, to fulfill the requirements of his schedules of, work.  This, turned my beliefs from when I was a young child on how funerals are supposed to be, upside, down.  My older sister said in a heartfelt manner, “it feels to me, that the families who migrated from China who are residents here on the island have a more calm and composed way of dealing with the griefs of death.  They believed that the companionship and caretaking before their loved ones passed on, is way more meaningful than any amount of grand gestures of offerings made after death.”

and now, the younger generations are preferring, a simply “formatting”…photo from online

I’d then recalled my own families handling of the funerals, there were too many rituals we needed to comply by, with a ton of taboos, as the elders are prone to believe, that only by following everything in order, will the deceased pass without, any worries of the living.  My mother who’s in her eighties still followed the traditional values to the t, but the times are changed, the beliefs and views are no longer the same, all of these insistence, for us, the younger generations, it’d felt sometimes, quite, trying, but we can’t, blame the older generations for it.

After the curtains fall on our lives, the funeral processions can be simpler, and the formats can be done away, with, but the love needs to be present.  Life ended, and we need help, letting, go, keeping that connection to the loved ones in your hearts, with those who are still here, carrying on the loving memories of those who passed, keep on moving on in our own, lives, that, is the truest form of filial piety.

But, not according to the older generations, they still want that huge PARTY, with the LOUD music playing, with the grand gestures, to emphasize JUST how important their existence on earth is to their loved ones, and we, the next generations who are following the rules of “simplicity is the best ways”, gets caught up in all of this.  And all of these ritualistic offerings and whatever, it does NOT help us grieve for those whom we’d lost, because we have to busy ourselves in setting up all these complicated, ritualistic offerings, and that takes away the time to help us start grieving sooner.

Trump Boasted at the World Economy Forum on U.S. Prosperity, Mocking Europe for Going in the Wrong Directions, & that He Wouldn’t Use Arms to Take Over Greenland

How DELUSIONAL can the TARIFF KING, get?  And this SHIT’s gonna get WORSE still, and you idiots over there in the DIVIDED STATES of Trump (you no longer live in the “United States of America”, remember???) still believed his bullshit?  But hey, the forum feeds to his PSYCHOPATHIC majesty’s delusions of GRANDIOSE, his NARCISSISTIC tendencies here…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The American President Trump spoke on the Davos Economic Forum 2026 on the 21^st, he’d stated that he is starting the negotiations of U.S.’s obtaining Greenland.  He’d stressed, that he respects the people in Greenland and Denmark too, but only the U.S. can protect the territory, but he would not use military forces to take over Greenland.

Trump said, unless he decided to “use excessive force”, the U.S. gets nothing; that if he chooses to do this, “we will be unstoppable, but we won’t do that.”  He stressed, that he may not resort to using any military forces, that he doesn’t want to, nor would he, use military forces, that the U.S. only wants “a place called Greenland”.

Trump said, “if you agree, we would be extremely grateful toward you, or you may object, and we will, remember that.”

a photo of him, “posing” for that, photo op…photo from online

The U.S. Had Saved Greenland After World War II

Trump mentioned, that Denmark had fallen to the control of Nazi Germany quickly in World War II, “it only took six short hours before Denmark was invaded by the Germans”, at the time, the U.S. was still building a base in Greenland, “We saved Denmark”, we’d prevented the enemies from setting up the locations in the western hemisphere, and won World War II, otherwise, we would all be speaking German as the common language, or “a little bit of Japanese”; he’d stated, that it was stupid of the U.S. to return Greenland to Denmark, and now, Denmark doesn’t show thanks.

He stated, that the U.S. should’ve kept Greenland, the island “is an important tactical bases between Russia and China, and it lacked the means of defending itself,” that based off of the interests and benefits of American national security, this is why he wants Greenland, not because of the rare earth metal reserves underneath it.

The Speech Delivered by Trump Interpreted by The New York Times as Trump Provoking the Countries in Europe

The New York Times summed up Trump’s speech, that Trump’s speech is the same as challenging Europe, to give Greenland to the U.S., or he will use the tariffs to trap Europe in a bad position, although Trump stated that he would, never use military forces to obtain Greenland for the U.S.

At the beginning of his speech, Trump joked ono “there’s many friends here with us, and also some, enemies too.”, which caused the laughter to spread in the audience.

Trump said, he hopes that Europe can continue to develop, but currently, the continent isn’t going in the right direction, that some parts of Europe is already now, “beyond recognition”, that his friends who’d returned from various places in Europe all told him, “I can’t even recognize the places”, criticizing the never-before trade deficits and the budgets of the various countries, how Europe had taken in massive numbers of, immigrants too.

Trump said, his tariffs had made up for the losses from out of the U.S., that U.S. had reached trade agreements with Europe, Japan, South Korea and other countries in the world, especially in the areas of crude oil, natural gas, that the trade deals struck by him had created more wealth, prosperities for the countries he’d struck the deals with.

The New York Times summed up, Trump’s speech was a call for war toward Europe, to give Greenland to the U.S., or, he will use his tariffs, to get Europe stuck in despair, despite how Trump said he would NEVER take over Greenland using the U.S. military.

the FULL speech, and you don’t have to BEAR with this SHIT if you don’t want to, off of YouTube, and no, I still did NOT “scan” this, so I would NOT know what’s on here…

Trump Tooted His Horn Over How the U.S. Had Won Against Inflation in the Anniversary of Him Becoming the President Again

His speech began with the economy of the U.S., stated that the 20^th was his first year anniversary of his presidency, that the U.S. economy is blooming, “we’d battled and won against inflation”, and stated, “the borders that were dangers and was opened from before is not, closed down.”, gloated how he is bringing the never-before reform and growth to the United States.  He also stated, that the Russo-Ukrainian War must end, that he will be conferencing with the Ukrainian President, Zelenskyy later on in the day.

Before he alighted the flight to attend the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, he’d stated that he’d arranged many meetings to discuss Greenland during the World Economic Forum, that he believes “all will go accordingly”, that U.S. will set up a deal regarding the autonomous government of Greenland that “will satisfy N.A.T.O. and the U.S. as well”.

Whether or Not N.A.T.O. is Strong Enough is Solely Reliant on the U.S.A.

He said, “due to the goals of security, the U.S. needs to obtain Greenland, we need it, it is quite important to the safety of the U.S., as well as the world.”  Trump then announced that he will increase tariff for the countries that are against U.S. taking control of Greenland in Europe, the news media press reporters asked how far is he going to go to obtain Greenland, Trump responded, “You will know soon enough.”

When asked if U.S. will stay a member of N.A.T.O., Trump claimed that U.S. is in a great relationship with N.A.T.O. currently, but he disagrees with many of the many actions of N.A.T.O. from before, claimed that N.A.T.O. had sometimes been, “overestimated in its capabilities.”  He stressed, that “U.S. is the primary determinant of how strong N.A.T.O., is”, that without the United States, N.A.T.O. won’t be, tough enough.

And so, this emperor who’s NUDE, still got all the spotlight attention on him, making his speech to the “masses”, and, all the countries in Europe right now, are probably, barfing like crazy (b/c they’re all in DISGUST!), as they were FORCED to sit and listen to this mother FUCKER (yeah, feel free to tell on me, why don’t you!), lecture them on HOW they should RUN their own countries, when he couldn’t even KEEP the DIVIDED STATES of Trump (it’s NO longer the “United States of America” anymore!) well, and are you FUCKING shitting me here?  Had you checked the last “report” on the rate of unemployment, the rate of inflation, of how high the costs of the things you all need to live off of on a daily basis had risen (and no, the costs still hadn’t, reached to climax yet there!), and you actually think, that the PSYCHOPATH is justified in his, “claims” of how he’d MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, by enforcing the god damn TARIFFS, how much the U.S. treasury had, collected in the tariffs, and how the tariff relief checks of…uh, how many dollars is it per U.S. taxpayer is it again??? That you all will be getting in the mail by…what WAS the date of that again???  I got ZERO clue here.

The Reciprocity of Kindness

Because the world is, too intolerant, that’s why, we become intolerant too, when we interact in the world, and that’s something that can be changed, starting with the, individual, if only we are willing, to see these special needs persons, in a whole new, light…but we don’t!  Translated…

If I’m not in a hurry, I would take the bus instead of the MRT, so I can bump into the things that made me feel blessed more.

One day I was on the bus with my young granddaughter, with no destinations in mind, she’d fallen asleep in my, lap, there weren’t that many passengers, all the double seats were taken by the passengers, individually, then, a pair of mother-son came onboard.  The son had a squarish head with large ears, and, smiled on foolishly, the mother told him, “stop smiling already, close your mouth.”, he’d, ignored her, the female passenger sitting adjacent began staring at him, angrily, got up, got over him, switched to another, seat.  He kept on pulling on his mother to sit down with him, the mother refused, he’d started throwing a tantrum, then from behind him came, “someone, keep him quiet!”, my young granddaughter was, startled, the son was also, shocked to silent, with his mother, getting red in the face from the shames, lowered her, head.

illustration from online…

What did they do, wrong?  I can’t imagine how hard it must be, to have a special needs child like this, the mother couldn’t just, lock the son up at home, keeping him from the, world, and, when she takes him out, she has to, withstand the glares, the looks from all, around.  In this world, there are, those who are just, too special, that they couldn’t, empathize with others.

I took my young granddaughter’s hand, rang the bell to get off the bus, the son screamed at the top of his lungs, and called out after us, “Water bottle……”, turns out, my young granddaughter’s water bottle, slid out of the side, it was caught by him.  That water bottle with her favorite cartoon character was her, favorite, I’d felt into my pockets for the two pieces of grape flavored candies I had as a thank you, while my granddaughter gave him the added “incentive” of the sticker she’d worn on the back of her hand, the boy had his smiled, back then.

Maybe, he wasn’t agile enough in thought, but he definitely had the kindness of heart, and, a child who’s kind like he, deserves to get treated, with kindness.

And yet, because this young boy is different, that’s why, the world is, too intolerant of his being abnormal, and, it must be too difficult for his mother to bear too, and, the world just, isn’t kind enough yet, for these special needs kids to thrive in, because we all have our own stereotypes we held toward the “special needs” group.

Can’t Anyone, Put an End to His, TYRANNY???

As I’m still, a, mere, OBSERVER to this, BULLSHIT that’s occurred in the DIVIDED STATES of Trump (nope, you guys “over there” are no longer living in the “United States of AMERICA”, no more!!!), I can’t help but wonder, where the FUCK is JUSTICE?  And, how does a 200-PLUS years worth of CONSTITUTION get screwed over in such a short, time?  Oh yeah, it’s because all you mother FUCKING (so???) MORONS had gobbled up the Tyrant’s bullshitting LIES of how he was going to “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN”, without knowing, that America had never BEEN, GREAT from the start (feel free to read through the age-old history books to find all the FACTS there, people!).

a Trump float from Italy…photo from online

Can’t ANYONE put an end to HIS TYRANNY, or must we WAIT ‘til God (uh, yeah, as IF!) to finally look down on the world, with his mercifulness (you’ve got to be SHITTING me on this!!!), and STRUCK the FUCKING (your point!) PSYCHOPATH (he’d checked ALL the “marks”!) dead?

And, it will take the ENTIRE country’s worth of MORONS (that’s what all you MAGA IDIOTS are over “there”) to get “woke”, and realize, that the KING you put onto that THRONE is SELF-SERVING, that he only cares about HIMSELF how to fill his pockets up with all the money he’d SCAMMED the other countries of from the tariffs, and, you ALL can toss the thought of how the Congress (like they hadn’t gotten “bought out by the Republican Party already?), or the Courts (predominantly CONSERVATIVES, last I checked!) will PUT the President IN his place, and then, it still might not be enough, to get this PSYCHOPATH who’d SCAMMED his way into the almighty President of the Divided States of Trump (no longer the “United States of America”!), ousted…

from a former official that works under Trump, who’s now, turned against him, because she sees the truth now…from YouTube

And I’m more than certain, that even IF it gets that far, he’ll find a way, to WEASEL his way out of being kicked out of office, just so he can continue to control EVERYTHING in the world, as that’s his, ambition, now that he’s already the KING.

And yes, the QUEEN (yes, and I know I got an enormous EGO too!), is just, sitting here (don’t ask “where”), waiting to watch this “show” here, and I’m dozing off, because, it’s moving on, oh too, slowly………(yawn…)

“Tariff on Greenland”, Trump: “I Will Enforce it 100-PERCENT!”

Because you won’t let me have you, I BANKRUPT your country, that’s how it’s done, in international relations now…and this is still BULLSHIT!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Reuters reported that on the 19^th, the American President, Trump told NBC, that he will be enforcing 100-percent tariff rate on the eight countries in Europe over their position of U.S. annexing Greenland, when he’s asked if he will use military to take over Greenland, he’d stated, “no comment”.

In the interview with NBC, Trump turned the attention toward the leaders in Europe who were against him in obtaining Greenland.  He said, that Greenland is related closely to U.S. national security, in defending the U.S. against foreign threats; the other countries in Europe believe, “the focus should be placed on the war between Russia and Ukraine, not on Greenland.”

the KING HATH, spoken!!! Off of YouTube

On Trump’s intent to acquire Greenland having to do with him not winning the Nobel Peace Prize, Trump told the interviewer, “I don’t care for the Nobel Peace Prize.”  But in the same interview, he’d rebutted how Norway told him that they have no influence on the Nobel Committee’s decisions of who the award goes, to, he claimed, “Norway controls it all, they like to tell that they don’t have a say, but they intervene with everything.”

The EU will be hosting an emergency summit in Brussels to discuss how they’re to counter Trump; Caras, the person responsible in overseeing foreign policies stated, that the EU “has no intentions of starting up a conflict, but we will stand firm”, and stressed, “the threats of trade is not the way to handle this, we can’t trade the right to govern our own countries.”

But not according to Trump, in his beliefs, everything CAN be bought and sold, take for how he’d SCAMMED Ukraine of its rare earth metals (and everybody else still stood by and watched), how he’d pillaged the oil resources out of Venezuela (with the global community watching), how the woman who’d won the Nobel Peace offered up the medal to him, and he “gladly accepts”, and told that it was justly earned by him…all of these, showed how he will do everything he possibly, to serve himself, because that’s the business mindset: what benefits me the most, is what I will go for, and he doesn’t give a FUCK who he screws over in the process of obtaining these things illegally, because he’s too powerful, that no one stops him.

WEF Had Rolled the Red Carpet Out for Trump

How the presence of the KING to this conference is for the sake of elevating his own ego, and he still continues to be OBLIVIOUS, how the European nations are planning the COUP, to OVERTHROW him as the RULER of the world…and that’s the American’s CHOICE right there!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The World is Tuned in to Trump’s Speech, the Forum Drifted Away from the Subject of Sustainability, Silently Admitting, that the Structure of the Values of Global Economy Had Changed

The world economic forum conference is set to last five days from January 19^th, the American representative to the forum, led by Trump, was the largest in scale in U.S. history.  Trump is set to give his speech on the 21^st, and under the preset of the global geo-political instability, Trump’s attendance and speech gains the world’s attention, and his speech will let the world know his future tendencies in politics and the policies of the U.S. economy.

with the “Red Carpet” and everything rolled out, for the KING! Video from YouTube, and no, I still hadn’t “scanned” this either…

There were over three thousand representatives from over 130 countries in attendance, including the presidents and heads of government from sixty-four countries.  The attendees representing the U.S. included Rubio, the Secretary of State, the head of Treasury, Bessent, Witkoff, the special envoy to Russia, and other important members of the Trump cabinet, and the higher up of government officials from the U.S.  But other than the Chinese chair of the Communist Party, Xi won’t be in attendance, there were also the leaders from Denmark, which had been caught up in the disputes of Trump planning to buy Greenland, from Great Britain, India and other countries who are absent from the WEF this year.

There were about 3,000 leaders from all over the world who attended, including four hundred from the governments of their countries, 850 higher up of private sector, a hundred tech experts, including the C.E.O. of Nvidia, Huang, the CEO of JP Morgan & Chase, Dimon, etc., etc.  But due to the escalation of tension in Iceland, the Danish government had decided to not send the representatives.

Based off of the analyses of The New York Times on the 19^th, the topic for WEF is “a Spirit of Dialogue”, it seemed all-encompassing, but it’s actually, void and hollow.  And unless the previous times, the forum didn’t discuss global warming nor renewable energies like it had in the past, let alone, bettering trade between the countries, it only promised to discuss “important issues in relations of man, economy, and the world”; the original discussions of equal taxes, anti-corruption, sustainability and social justice had also, vanished from the official proclamations of the WEF.  The sponsors of WEF already rolled out the welcome mat from Trump who will make his appearance, silently, admitting that the values of what originally defined global economy had taken the turns.

The American news media press described, that Trump treats the WEF as a stage of performance, that it wasn’t simple, nor holding the exchanges on the global economy with other countries.  Trump’s speech had signaled, that the U.S. and other countries will be adjusting the interactions with the elites that have influences in the global economy, “The U.S. is marching into Davos, showing its dominance in global economy, combatting its opponents, bringing out how the entire Europe is now stuck in, recession.”

coming to you LIVE, from Davos! Off of YouTube

On the 20^th, Trump also posted on TruthSocial, criticizing how the British had transferred the American army bases in England, the Chagos Islands’ Diego Garcia Island to Mauritius, that it’s weak and foolish, that both China and Russia are taking note of this, “This is also why for the sake of national security, we must, obtain Greenland”.

Bessent stayed on the sidelines, and whitewashed the fact that there’s a possibility of a trade war of U.S. and Europe because of Greenland, believed that he has faith, that the leaders of the many countries won’t let it escalate, that he will be finding a resolve that tailors to national security, that is beneficial to all sides.  The EU is planning on conferencing on the 22^nd, to discuss their potential actions to counterattack.

See how the world, dances like those vegetables, grilling on the hot grills, and Trump is the one, controlling the temperatures of the burn for now, and he still uses this INTERNATIONAL conference that’s NOT about HIM, to strut his SHIT across the runway, so the world can see him, in his NEW tariff, and he still doesn’t even realize, that he’s, BUTT-NAKED.

With the countries in Europe, “secretly planning” a COUP against his takeover of Europe…

As We Cried Together on the Phones that Day

There’s MORE pressure, demands made of us, daughters, in caring for our parents, even AFTER we are already, married and had started our own, family, because that’s the culture, that’s the societal expectations of the woman’s role, and, we still get SCREWED over by the EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL of FILIAL PIETY (my ASS!)…translated…

My mother, who had his right leg amputated already, who’s seventy-three, due to her gallstones needed removal, she’d started living with me for eighty-three days, and I’d become her personal on-call 24/7 caretaker.

It isn’t trying, caring for my mother.  But I can’t get the opportunity to take that needed breath, this caused my heart to become, strained.  And yet, the rest of my families, their not seeing how they needed to take part in splitting up the care of my mother too, became what made me feel upset.  And even so, I still can’t find the right adjective, to describe how I’d, lived through that period of my life.  I kept on thinking, soon as the need for me to care for my mother is over, I want to, get as far as my family for a short while as I can.

At the start of April, seeing how my mother is walking fine, I’d felt relieved, and thought: it’s time that I tell her about my taking time away.

“When they take you back to your home, I will disappear for a short, while.”, she had that shock that overcame her, face then, asked me what I planned to, do.

“Can’t………I take time off, for my own, self?”, I don’t know why but her response made me want to get angry.  But my anger is towards the rest of my families, not toward, her.  Since I’d become her sole caretaker, I’d always put myself, last, why is it that after she’s able to return home, I still have to, be on call, in my families’ place to continue caring for her?  I’d worried that my mother would get affected by my upset, so I’d, tried my best, to suppress the upset that’s growing inside of me as I’d explained to her.

I’d made complaints to my mother before, during the period I’d become her sole caretaker.  But she’d stated, “you and your older brother, I love the exact, same.”  But I still feel there’s the differentials of treatments.  The back of the hand would often sacrifice itself, to block out the sun, the rain, from the palms.  Mom knew well, that the rest of the families had, not treated me fairly enough, but she’d not defended me to them, and so I’d known, that I’m the back of the hand that always gets, sacrificed, that my older brother is the well-cared-for palm.  Or maybe I’d, thought too much into this, but it really, got to, me.

The day following her return to her home, we’d cried together on the phones.  We couldn’t, contain our, emotions then, but I still, heard her, word-for-word.  She’d mentioned that I’d told her, “I will disappear for a short period”, she’d continued crying and inquired, “are you, deserting, me?”

I’d started conflicting inside.  I wanted to tell her stubbornly, “why didn’t you blame my brother for not chipping in to care for you, after I’d, complained to you?  Why aren’t you, on my, side?  I mean the one, being deserted by you guys, how can you say that I don’t want you anymore?”, but these words were, stuck in my, throat.  On the other hand, I’d felt bad over what I’d told her.  She had yet to recover fully, and I’d, caused her to misunderstand, that she’d cried and asked if I were, deserting, her.

“Why would I be, deserting, you?”, I’d cried to her, “I just feel, really, tired, I don’t want any contact with anyone in the family, but I will, maintain contact with you.”, in front of the families, I’d had to pretended that it wasn’t, getting to me.  I’d given all I had to caring for my own, mother already, and she’d noted this too, or maybe, that’s why she couldn’t, find the, justification to stop me from, walking, out.

illustration from UDN.com

After I married, my husband and I set up the schedules to return to my mother’s for supper every Saturday evening.  We’d cherished the time we’d spent as a family.  And this continued for ten years, and it’d halted, at the moment my other families had, taken my mother home with, them.

I’d, saturated for a while, and honestly, I’m still not out of this, fog, yet, can’t understand what my families are, thinking about, I can’t even guess at my mother’s, thoughts.  I’d become like that child who’d, run away from home, but nobody called me back on Saturdays to come home, nor does anyone in my family, inquire why I’d,, suddenly, “gone missing”, instead, they’d blamed me, for my, tantrum-like behaviors.

I’d decided back then, to cut off contact with the rest of my family, because I needed to fix my own malfunctioning heart.  I’d imagine that time will heal all, wounds, but, something minor triggered my sorrows a short while ago, it’d made me realized, that I hadn’t healed completely, yet, that the damages had stayed inside for two whole, seasons.

I’d often gotten reminded of how my mother called me up and we’d started crying together over the phones.  If only, I can understand earlier, how she had her own hardships in treating her two children exactly the, same, maybe, I would’ve have made her cried so hard.  If I could, communicate to my families, letting them know, that the responsibilities of caring for my mother, is ours to share, that it wasn’t, my own, solely, maybe, it wouldn’t have gotten to how it is now, we’d become, blood-related, strangers.

I think, what my mother told of “let go”, is the most fitting way to treat my sorrows.  I’d stopped, using the methods that only treated the injuries on the surfaces, to deal with this at the core, to talk with my families about it, to come to terms of agreement, to visit back home with my best state of mind and of, being, to continue finishing every single obstacle that life has planned for, me.

And so, this is, too much introspection on the woman’s part, because it IS traditionally Chinese.  We women are blamed, when something like this happens in our lives, despite how much we’re already giving these families of ours, it just never seemed quite, enough, there’s always more things we can do better on, what we need to put in: more time, more energies, to offer our selves completely, wholly to the benefits of the wellbeing of the other family members that we have…

But, what about US?  What of our needs?  Don’t we, count?  Apparently NOT, not in these, traditional Chinese beliefs about how women should give themselves endlessly, SLAVE their lives to benefit their own families.  So this ABUSE still, continues.

A Tabby

And so, this is how the stray tabby spends its, day, hanging out at the park, and, when the time comes, it’d, gone to that apartment, like it had a schedule it was, keeping…translated…

On my way home in the evening, I’d made my way to go to the park, saw that tabby, stationery, in the dandelion bushes; it had his back arched, focused, with its front right paw raised a little, its tail, curled down, turned upwards.  He’d kept this pose a couple of seconds, then, in a split second, pounced forward, entered into his, second position: his whole face merged into the grasses of green, with all four paws on the soil, tail in a straight line with its back, like he was playing that game of bo-peep—clearly, there’s something there in the flowers and the grasses that’s captured his, attention.  Then, he’d turned ninety-degrees, set himself in the pose of front legs crossed into a standing position, turned its head looking backwards, the tail raised upward in a slant, still, without any hesitation.

Suddenly, a grasshopper leapt to midair, like the toy spring, turning in air, then fallen into the weeds, as the tabby “bumped into” this jack-in-the-box, he was, thrilled, took several steps backwards, rustling up those tiny yellow flowers by his, feet.

with its own biological clock, telling it where it needs to go at the various time of, day…photo from online

And still, the tabby lived up to his, reputation.  Shortly, he’d returned to the hunting pose, standing tall with that majestic feel, with the horizontal dark brown pattern on his coat standing too, the whites on his belly, his limbs, also, majestic, the patch of black on his tail too.  I’d felt uneasy, watching all of this, my heart was like the dandelion’s seeds, ready to, get, blown away, as the tabby moves, the seeds are about to, fly all over the places, wherever the cat’s movements made it go.

At this moment of tension, the tabby suddenly, lost interest in the, grasshopper.  That original passion, that tentatively watching, suddenly, he’d, discarded.  He’d turned around, and left the, park, slowly walked toward the alley, got down on all fours to rest between the entryway of the apartment door and the potted plants, with its paws, hidden underneath its, belly, the tail wrapped around the body tightly—I’d been told that this was the catloaf.  He looks like he’s waiting for something, but, nothing really.  Maybe, it’s time that the incenses were offered, the first-floor residents started playing the tapes, from inside of the screen doors, came the low murmurs of the, Buddhist, chants.

And so, it seemed, that this stray tabby has a schedule that he’s keeping, at specific times of day, he knows where he’s supposed to go, and, that’s just how these homeless animals live, they’re free to roam, and they managed to find a safe place to curl up in too when needed.

The Air, My Friend

This is on how we get so distracted, that we failed to realize the purpose of something actually is, that we’d, placed our attention on what’s flashy, that we’d, missed out on what’s really, there, the column of Jimmi Liao, translated by me…

The Bookstore at the Street’s Front, Closed,

So Had the One at the End of the Street.

The Giant Library had been, Built,

The Grand Opening Ceremonies

the artwork of Jimmi Liao, courtesy of UDN.com

Cost All the Funds

There’s No More Money for the Books Now

But Who Actually, Cares?

Books,

Did They All, Lose, Out?

And so, this is on the extinctions of the bookstores, because everybody now reads those Ebooks, but they’re just, not the same, and, there’s the purpose of the library’s grand opening being, all of the attention, with books on the “backburners”, when in REALITY, books are WHAT made these libraries into places with the SET functions, and yet, there’s this, diversion of our, attention in this…