How the younger generations are willing to spend the time to go visit the older, IF you spent time with the younger generations when they were younger, to instill that strong sense of value of the family in them…translated…
On the elevator side of the wall of my floor, the notices of constructing of a handicapped restroom was posted, and that was when I’d realized, that someone lived at that, apartment. I’d moved in since a little over two years ago, ,I only saw the posted red strips of paper for the Chinese New Years of children’s handwritings, without hearing of seeing any coming and going from the apartment complex. As I’d asked the building attendant, that was when I’d learned, that as the two young children are growing, the two-room apartment is no longer big enough for the extended family, and so, the middle generations purchased a residence close by, and hired the foreign nurse’s aide to care for the aging mother, who now lives along with the hired nurse at the residence.
The nuclear family unit is a whole, with the aging mother starting a life of adapting to a stranger in her home, before the onlookers can say a thing, the bigger awe came. Not long thereafter, every day after work, I saw that the originally clean doorway of the apartment without any obstructions, started piling up with the shoes, sometimes only a pair, but more often, there were, two, three pairs out, with the cute children’s size shoes neatly next to the adults’, showing how well trained the kids were. I’d bumped into the owners of these shoes a couple of, times, they were chauffeured by their father on his scooter, the little boy standing in the front space, the girl, straddled on the back of the seat, hoppity, hop, they’d, come off the scooter, and, the adult gestured them to head up first. When we shared the elevator rides, the children were laughing and playing, there’s no feel of them being forced to visit, and as they exited on their floor, they’d smiled to those who were in the elevator, bid us farewell.
like these, signaling that the families had visited…photo from online
I’d imagined, that this may be occasional, but, the variety of shoes, like the flowers, blooming every single day there. The parents used their actions to express “filial piety” for their young to observe and model after, and I’d imagined, that as the parents’ generations grow older, their children will, stay around too. This is what I deemed as most, ideal, and yet, I’d never seen my own parents calling my grandparents to ask them how they are, or inviting the families to a meal gathering actively, they’d stayed, a safe distance from their own, families of, origins. But, isn’t the connection supposed to be deepened through the repeated interactions of being together?
So, even if I’m not that close to my own parents at all, and I’d not called them up every day after I’d begun living on my, own, I’d still, tried my best to show my concerns for my parents, finding the occasions to ask the families out to gather for a meal. And, the outings may not be with the active connections with the families, even there were those who were too focused on their cellphones to care of what was happening, and not put their hearts into the interactions with the families, but, the glued together circle, so long as we don’t shake it too hard to breaking, it still appeared, connected, enough.
Last week, I’d invited my older sister to visit our ailing father, in the afternoon, I’d gone with my sister and her family to visit my mother, seeing how happy my mother was, interacting with the grandchildren. The day was more than ordinary, but as I left, I saw the various shoes lined outside the door, I’d felt, the blessings.
and inside the house…photo from online
Christmas Eve is in a few days, after I’d returned with my husband on our exercises together, there were, a total of seven pairs of shoes outside our neighbor’s doors, a total of close to ten people there, inside that, small, apartment, they were spending the holiday together. There wasn’t the stilettos that looked elegant, they were all plain, canvas shoes that looked, more than, ordinary. Looking on these shoes, I know, we will all be wearing them, walking toward a, beautiful, future which we will be, sharing.
And so, this, is how the older generations longed to have their younger generations around them as they grow older, but, you have to know, that these sorts of values would’ve been, imprinted in the younger generations way before the day comes, when our parents are older, and this sort of connection must be established from way, way, way before when your own children are still quite young, because IF you don’t socialize them on the family values of connectedness, if you don’t love your own young right, what makes YOU think, that you will have the shoes big and small, all over the outside of your front doors? Because, your children have NO obligations to visit you in your elderly years, IF you never took the time to socialize with them, to spend with them when they’re still, babies!
Mirroring the World 