Actually, We All, Understand You

Every single child is, unique in her/his experiences, in how s/he interacts with her/his external environments, and you should NEVER expect that one of your kid is well-behaved like the other, because, s/he has her/his own independent, mind…translated…

The thoughts of a grandmother…translated…

As My Youngest Grandson Told, I’d Known, that He Had the Depth of Looking into the Matter, it’s just His Youthfulness, He’d Lacked the, Patience…………

My daughter-in-law, in order to show her support for the local “Boli Basketball Team” in Changwha, on a Saturday in March, she took her two sons to the games, to see the powers of the slam-dunks. I clicked open the photos she’d sent from the communication app on my cell phone, my grandsons, with the Styrofoam fingers cheering the team on, standing in that photo op with the foreign player, they do, look like, fans, and they’d looked, too cute it’d made my husband and I, laugh, and it’d made me realized, that there are a multitude of activities that parents and children can attend, that going to a sports event, is a, great way for the parents and children, to connect to, one another.

At nap the following day, my son rushed my grandsons through their snacks, and, readied them to go see the games, again, but, something was up with my four-year-old younger grandson, he’d become, teary eyed, lain on the living room floors, refused to go.

My husband, who’d become, equally, unsuccessful at persuading him, felt a bit, upset, told my son, “if he keeps on throwing the tantrums, ignore him, you guys, go ahead.”, and my eldest grandson still refused to give up on his younger brother, inquired if he wanted to go with again, and in the end, he took that disappointment, went out.

Waited until my son and daughter-in-law took our eldest grandson out, I’d carried my younger grandson in my arms, and gently asked him, why he didn’t want to go to the game?  He’d fallen silent for a long, while, then told me, “grandma, you don’t know how hard it was for me to sit from seven to nine at night, it’s way too long and I felt too tired, and I keep on falling to sleep, so I don’t want to go again…….”

I’d nodded, told him, “yes, you do have to, sit a very, long, time!  I will tell it to your mom and dad, see if you guys can come home earlier.  But, you need to be braver, to tell others what you’re thinking, otherwise, people will misunderstand you as a kid that throws his, tantrums.”

the mind of a child, who’s “labeled” as, “difficult”…illustration from UDN.com

After I’d communicated with him, my youngest grandson finally started, smiling again, snacked and drank his juice, and talked of how the day before, Yulong and Taiwan Beer, and the games between Berlyly, “the players of Yulong, dribbled with one hand, and, made the three-point shot, he’s, really, amazing!” hearing him told, I’d known, that he’d been, completely, into the game, it’s just that he is still too young, and hadn’t gotten enough, patience.  This is, the developmental process of his age, think about it, a four-year-old can sit still, and watch a two-hour game, that was, so totally, difficult for him, had it been me, I don’t know if I can, manage.

Every child is, different, my youngest grandson is on the more stubborn side, with his own opinions on everything, and it’d, given us, the headaches, just like the song by the artist, Tong, “You Don’t Really Know Me at All”, we’d had to, spend the time, to know what he is thinking, as his grandma, I had, recorded down everything of his coming of age process from birth to four years of age, and I’m certain, that as he thumbs across these, records of his own, coming of age process, he will get it, that “we all, know what’s on your, mind!”

And so, this still just showed, how children are, different, and just because your firstborns are easy, that does not mean, that the younger siblings will be, easy going, because, every child is unique, in her/his way of interacting with the world, and parents can’t get that, but thankfully, this young boy has a grandma who’s, willing to take the time, and try to understand what the problem for him was, his feelings were, taken care of here.