With the use of the cognitive-behavioral techniques, some help from medication, and taking time off, to just, relax, this woman finally, healed herself back up, but she’s still, on her way to fully recover, and she’s, working toward her goals, now that she’d, overcome her own, mental illness…translated…
One Evening, Soon as My Daughter Set Foot into the House, She’d Gotten Down on Her Knees, Fallen, Limp, with Her Upper Body, on the Couch, She Was, Extremely, More Emotional
My daughter had always been, very understanding and well-behaved growing up, didn’t need me to tell her what to do and when to do it, and although, she’d not had that smooth a ride in her studies, but, with her own high self-demands, she’d, made it through her master’s program, after she graduated, she’d begun, working, and kept at her post, very focused and hardworking.
During the pandemic, she’d gone abroad to study for three months, and almost all her courses are online, she was locked in the dormitory, in a strange location, thirteen-hour time difference from here, she couldn’t find anybody to talk to. And within a month’s time, her body started signaling, she’d started having sweaty palms, and, at eight in the morning sharp, I’d gotten the calls from her on time from overseas, and, we’d chatted for more than half an hour at a time, and I’d, felt that something was, bothering her, making her, anxious.
illustration from UDN.com
As she got back, she’d, stayed, locked in for two week in the quarantine hotels, inside that tiny room, there was only room for a bed, a T.V., a tea stand, and only enough room for her to get in and out, and other than writing the experiences she had abroad, there’s just eating, and sleeping, she’d looked out the window, it’d become, familiar, yet, quite, strange to her, like a, silent, world.
As she’d gotten back to work, she’d, walked on eggshells, run that race with time, the many restrictions and rules of the pandemic, caused her to get caught up between the plans and the activities, she’d worried, that she would, lag behind on her, schedules. From before, she’d, shared happily with me the goings on in her work, then, she’d started, looking gloomy, upset, and didn’t have enough energy in her voice when she’d, told me the goings on of her, workplace, she’d felt like, two different, person.
Following, she’d started, losing sleep, “having a strong sense of responsibilities, very proud, perfectionistic, these personality traits can get the person trapped by the self-blames, the anxieties, to the point of causing insomnia, which then leads to, depression.”, I’d believed, that there may be an imbalance in the chemicals in her brains, and, took her to the nearby clinic, the physician prescribed something for her, and told her, that “if the meds didn’t help, then you would need to get yourself into the major hospitals for a more thorough check”.
One evening, soon as she got in, she’d, fallen limp on her, knees, her upper body on the couch, she’d become, very, emotional. Started panting painfully, she’d, held everything in at work all day long, her body’s upset, all came rolling, out, two days ago, I’d just, gotten her into the E.R., where they’d, injected her with a tranquilizer, look like, we’re, going again. Looking at how she was traumatized in her mind and her body, my heart ached so very, badly! My daughter, who’d been kind, empathetic toward everybody else, why is she, being tried like so? When she couldn’t complete the work assigned to her, she’d even had the thought of, disappearing from this, world!
The E.R. referred her to a primary, as the doctor heard my daughter’s complaints, he’d suggested that she check herself in to get treated, in case. Although my daughter’s mind was on work, and didn’t want to, but as we’d persuaded her, she’d finally, agreed.
“You look very normal, why are you in here?”, her roommates inquired. Some of the patients are frequent “customers”, problems in the families, losing a loved ones, gotten scammed, failed in business, their eyes are hollow, like the ghosts that wandered up and down the hallways, some stood by the public phones, and talked for half an hour, without, inserting the coins in.
There was a young girl who grew up in an orphanage, when she’s lucid, she would ask my daughter to teach her English, and when the child relapsed, she’d lost control, and gotten violent, kicked, screamed, and there would be so many nursing staff member, to come and hold her down, to keep her unharmed.
My daughter’s ten-day stay, she’d come to understand, that “there are a lot of people who are tried by life, the most important thing is cherishing what’s right in front of us”. In the care of the medical staff members, and adjusting her medications, her primary treating physician finally signed off on her early release.
My Daughter Who’d Been Kind & Understanding, Had to Get Put Through the Trials
My primary mission after she’d been discharged, was to help her find back her smiles and zest for life from before. After all, the cold of the mind, isn’t like the body’s, medicating, more rest, more water, and soon enough, you’ll get, better.
getting treated by a professional…photo from online
At first, my daughter didn’t want to go out at all, and all that she was once, interested in, she’d, lost her longing for. From when she woke in the morn, she’d begun feeling, anxious, gotten on that emotional rollercoaster, worried about this, and that, these were, the hardest, times of the day, and also the moments that made my heart ached the most.
To settle her mind, I’d, posted eight items for her to do as her schedule daily. Early in the morn when she wakes, she’d, swung her fists, at the air in the living room a hundred times, to situate her anxious mind a bit. Coloring, that is also, an activity that calms her down. In the afternoon, I’d gone with her to the park to stroll, we’d carried on in conversations as we trekked, to help her get relaxed. Sometimes, I’d encouraged her to go to the libraries to read, and even if she didn’t want to go outside, I’d, still, taken her away from the city where we live to travel a bit.
What surprised me was, in the past, it was natural for her to pack and unpack, and now, she’d done it with great, difficulty, and all I can say, is that the brain is the central systems of nerves, that if the chemicals become imbalanced, there would be, enormous, effect, and only as I’d, witnessed how this affected my daughter, I wouldn’t have, understood it.
There was, another thing that’s confusing that came with my daughter’s, illness: she’d regressed back in her mind like a two, three year old child, every time she’d, paced in front of the calendar, and helplessly stated, “mom’s not home on this day!” “mom’s not home on this day either!” Kept repeating that I’m not home, and had that look of panic on her face, like a child who felt insecure, when s/he doesn’t see her/his mom.
She’d repeated the same anxieties, and things that were confusing to her, and all I can do, was be there for her, and listen to her, giving her positive feedback, and encouragement. Taking her out with me when I go out, no matter what, this condition that came without any warning, we must, face together, to accept it. At first, my daughter couldn’t accept that she was, ill, I’d told her, “everybody gets sick, this is just a cold of your mind, just follow the psychiatrist’s orders, take your meds, you will, get your health, back.”
She was once, a sports competitor, knew, that “exercises can increase the endorphins in the brains, to release the anxieties, to increase that feeling of, happiness.”, and so she’d, made up her mind to cycle around the island. The ten day trip, she’d, worked hard, pedaling, away, come sun, strong wind, or the cold, rains, with the beautiful sceneries, up and down the slopes, she’d gotten, wiped that every evening she’d turned in, she’d, immediately, fallen, asleep, and her insomnia was, cured, without any, medications!
After her trip around the island, before she set out every single day, she’d played the fight songs of her choice at home, and it’d, made me get all worked up too. And, in a couple of months, her locked in brows, started, loosening, and that beautiful smile returned, back onto her, face, and my heart started, feeling, at ease too.
She’d begun, busying for work again, the same grind, the heaviness of her, workload, the endless number of calls she needed to take, the overtimes she had to pull at the office, but she’d known and learned, to settle her mind and her, became, more aware of her feelings. When she’d returned for the treatment sessions, she’d asked her psychiatrist if she could be off the medications, the psychiatrist saw her progress, how she was comfortable in talking, allowed her to, “graduate” finally.
the mental health professional, helping the client become more aware of her tendencies…illustration from online
And this illness that came without any warnings, it’d made us learn to tolerate, to understand, and to love; I am, too grateful, that I was, able to, help my daughter, weather through this storm of her, life.
So, this is, the long road to, recovery, and this young woman noted that something wasn’t quite right with her systems, and sought out help, then, changed her way of interacting with herself, and, with the help of medications, and the cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, she was, finally, healed, and it took her a lot of work, to finally, get over this, huge, obstacle she’d, bumped into in her own, life, but she did it!
Mirroring the World 
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