Tag Archives: Wishes for His Married Daughter

Cutting Off the Father-Daughter Relationship? On the Scene of the Wedding

A father, expecting his baby girl to become independent after she is wed, translated…

Yu is approaching forty, with a higher degree, with the belief, that he could achieve greatness, other than changing jobs constantly, he’d also, made a ton of investments, in the end, he’d lost more and earned even less.  In the decade’s time, we can only describe him as “barely getting by”, so, having a family, marrying, having children, buying a house became an unachievable dream for him.

Juan was Yu’s coworker when he’d first started working, maybe, she had the eyes for how willing he was able to take the challenges head on, she’d dated him, for over a decade.  And because they’re both getting older, and, with the pressings from both their families, they’d finally decided, to march down the aisles together.

In actuality, Juan who’s quite good looking, was from a well-to-do family, her parents owned a small-scaled company, and, they’re making an honest living.

On Sunday, I was invited to Yu’s wedding ceremony.  At first, it didn’t seem any different than all the other wedding ceremonies I had been invited to, most of the guests didn’t arrive until the time specified, and, after a little over thirty minutes as everybody sat down.  Followed by the ushering in of the newlyweds, parents of the groom and the bride, as well as the person holding the ceremony, getting onto the podium.

Although we’re all getting hungry, we’d still smiled, and heard the blessings; the person holding the ceremony counted out the ins and outs of his daughter’s growth processes, with the laughter, the sounds of well-wishing, applauses, and our stomachs, churning, it’s so very rowdy indeed.  Right before Juan’s father was about to be finished with his speech, he’d asked everybody to pipe down, that he had something important to announce.

Everybody thought, that it was the usual stuff, wanted his son-in-law to take good care of his daughter, and the like.  Without realizing, that he’d spoken, in a strict tone of voice, “on some levels, I’m going to, cut off relations with my daughter and my son-in-law from now on.”

All of a sudden, everybody who was there fell silent, a few seconds later, he’d continued, “After the children grow up and married, they will become self-reliant, and can no longer depend on the parents, and relied on the parents for monetary support.”

At first, I felt a bit shocked, but later on, as I thought about what the father of the bride had said, Juan’s father used an alternative method, to teach the children to learn to become “self-reliant”, he’d put his heart into making his speech, and that should be, commended.

And so, this, is quite odd, isn’t it?  Because you’d expect a father, on a wedding, to give out the well-wishes, and not how I’m going to cut you off from here on out, but, this father DOES have a point, his daughter is a grown woman, and married now, and, so, him by saying that he is cutting off relations with her is saying how she will become self-reliant, and can’t depend on him on everything like she was always able to, to resolve the difficulties in her life, and so, this father actually had the benefits of his own offspring in mind when he spoke those words.

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Filed under Expectations, Life, Marriages, Perspectives, Properties of Life, The Declarations of Independence, The Education of Children, Translated Work, Values, Wake Up Calls