Tag Archives: When Your Child is a Victim of Bullies in School

As Children Get Bullied, the Parents Rushing in, Stepping on the Mines

It’s only natural, that when the kids are being, bullied, you parents would want to, rush in, to BEAT the CRAP out of that other kid, but, hold your horses first…on education of the next generations, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

If the children are bullied, the psychologist at the Student Counseling Center, Chen reminded, that there are, a few, “landmines”, that the parents can easily step on, to make things worse.  The following is a first-person interview summary with the counselor:

As we hear that our children got picked on, it doesn’t mean that the parents needed to rush in immediately, demand the other child to apologize.  As a child gets yelled at abruptly, s/he may feel scared, then, to avoid further scolding, apologize, but, then, the bullies may get harder on the child afterwards, believing, “You tattle told to your parents, making me get yelled at”, and, an originally small argument may get turned into, a long-term bullying.

Another scenario: get pass the teachers, and go to the parents to confront them for what their child did to yours.  And normally, there are, two scenarios that might happen: first, the parents apologize to other parents first, then, turn around, and discipline their own young.  Another, the parents disbelieving that their kid is capable, and the two parents get into it, to the point of the representatives getting called to mediate.

The two end results, neither teach the children anything, if the other kid is the abuser, but hovered over by her/his parents, how would s/he know, what s/he needed to adjust, in interaction shared with another.  And if, forces outside of the school got involved, the homeroom instructor, even as s/he wanted to intervene, s/he can’t, because the school will not allow the instructor to, and in the end, things are still, left, unresolved.

If the adults weren’t present as the bullying occurred, it would be hard to determine who’s right or who’s wrong, and hard for the parents to determine, if their young was a target of bullying.  As the child tattled, s/he will evade on the details, for instance, being the one to hit first, but didn’t tell the parents, and if the parents went straight away to “get even”, and long-term, this child learned, “so long as I told mom and dad, they will, get even with me!”, which is bad for the developments of their personality characters in the future.

The most important thing that parents should do is to try to understand what happened exactly, and report back to the homeroom instructors, if it’s serious to the point to have a mediator to stop the bullying, then, you take, legal actions.

So, this is on telling the parents to listen, to watch your own young, because if your kid is bullied, it shows, in their, behaviors, and, you, as parents, must not lose it, as your kid comes home crying and told you, that so-and-so punched my nose or whatever, you, as adults, must be the rational ones, because IF you lost it, then, your kid will learn, hey, I can tell mommy and daddy that I got hit, and, they will go after that kid who’d gotten on my bad side, and that’s not good!

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