Tag Archives: Troubles with the In-Law

Burning on Both Ends, the Sorrows of a Daughter-in-Law

This still isn’t at all good here, translated…

Last July, I got married, and gotten me brand new “roles” too quickly that I didn’t know how to adapt.  I’m a student, worked at home, and have a baby, regularly after work I’d gotten home, I needed to cook, to breastfeed, to do the dishes, to take out the trash, to work on my thesis statement, and in the middle of the nights, I’d also have to get up to change the diapers, and to breastfeed.

Living with my mother-in-law, even though I have a helping hand, but I’d also gained me an extra “identity” of a daughter-in-law.  One evening, I’d gotten home late, my husband bought something from a shop for my mother-in-law, and she’d told me how store-bought food are so very awful, she’d nagged on for TWO weeks.  I got it, I must cook, so, my family wouldn’t have to eat out.

The government said that children should be on breast milk, but, other than having to find a secretive space to pump myself, I’d also have to get my work colleagues to handle my workload; when I got home, if I got too loud, pumping my milk, I’d gotten called to the corner of the living room to do it.  If my child is thinner, then, I’d be nagged about how I’m not eating right, that there’s NOT enough nutrition in my breast milk that gets transferred to him, causing my child to NOT grow as fast; if I didn’t have enough volume, and had to mix some with the formulas, then, I’d get grilled for not taking my lecithin, that how could I not have enough volume?

All of this happened after the marriage, I’d originally though, that after I wed, I’d have a helping hand to care for my mother, and I would treat my husband’s parents with kindness too, but, living with the in-laws had me pressured so.  From before, I’d never cooked a single meal for my family members, and now, as I got off work, I needed to hurry home, and after they’d all eaten, I needed to clean everything up, and I’d also have to chase down the garbage truck too.  Sometimes, I saw how my husband leaves everything at the dinner table after he finishes and heads to the couch to watch television, or to play video games in the bedrooms, I’d wondered WHY it was that I got married in the first place?

If you’re a husband, DO love your wife more; if you’re an elder, DO remember, that your daughters-in-law are someone else’s baby too; if you’re a couple getting married, DO think of the life you’re about to embark on; if you’re like me, faced with multiple pressures in life, you can only hope, that one day, your husband will see the stress, and the hard work you’d been putting in.

But what IF he doesn’t, I mean, he won’t, he will always and FOREVER have HIS mama, wiping up the messes he’s made, and, he will NEVER know H-O-W hard it is for you, and, you’re just going to have to put up with that, unless you want to get a divorce, and, I’m quite certain, that NOBODY wants that on her/his “permanent record”…

 

 

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