So here, we’re treating our demented elderly parents like our children? Would that work? I wonder, translated…
Both my parents resided in the southern regions, but my father feared that we may worry, and kept the fact, that my mother started showing signs of dementia from us, for instance, she’d forgotten to cook when the skies turned dark, or how she’d buy the same items of clothing over and over again, how she didn’t know how to pay for her meals at the breakfast shops, how she’d neglected to pay attention to how messy the house became. It wasn’t until my mother strayed from the group when they’d gone on tour at 101, did the family decide, to ask my younger sister, who runs a afterschool care program for kids.
But, from the mentioning of my younger sister, as my mother saw the kids misbehaved, she’d scolded them harshly, making them cry; my mother loved sweets, and would drink the juice boxes that belonged to the students; without watching her closely, she’d wandered out of the front gates of the school, and, they’d have to send our search parties for her.
In order to alleviate the stresses of my younger sister, caring for our mother, I’d picked my mother up during the summer and winter vacations. At first, toward my mother’s inquiries and blames, I’d automatically reply to her, using my teaching methods. For instance, my mother often forgot to eat, and, in the midnight hours, she’d said she was hungry. I’d tried very hard, to convince her, that she already ate, but she’d scolded me, “Are you trying to starve me to death?” Afterwards, I’d thought about it, make her a cup of milk, problem solved!
After just a few short days, staying with me, my mother hollered about how she wanted to go home, and stared out the windows a lot. Missing home, she’d missed the paper flower, that was planted outside her front door, it’s just, that she will never, find her way back, to the home she was familiar with again.
Because of my mother’s dementia, she’d forgotten about the miseries of her life previously, I’d wondered often, if I could have this last parts of her life to do over again, I would’ve certainly, gone from the angles of her needs, to love her, to allow her to have things her way, so she, who loves looking pretty, can have a happier life.
But, you can’t, and this, is all, regrets talking, but hey, it wasn’t your fault, because, NO demented elderly person comes with a “manual”, and, each situation is different, meaning that the signs in one demented elderly, may not apply to the behaviors of another, and so, we still must, live with what we’d done, or didn’t do, and move on…