Lesson in C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N, translated…
Even though, we’re often attracted to the ability of being articulate around others, but, when we’d examine why those who are not as popular interacted with others, we’d discovered, that they failed to put an emphasis on listening. As facts would have it, there are rarely those who are great listeners, and bad at interpersonal relations, and, there are a TON of those who loved to talk, but have bad interpersonal relationships.
When you talk to others, to those “who are not ready to become listeners”, we’d instinctively, closed “our hearts”, and maybe, we’d still interacted with those on a needs-to-know basis, but, we can’t get deeper, and establish a more meaningful style of interaction. On the contrary, with those who had prepared to listen up, we can establish that rapport, that connection with them.
In the learning realm, the ratio of talking and listening, if talking takes up ten percent, then, listening, would take up ninety percent, and, listening, beats talking by a lot in importance.
“Listening”, is the basis of growth for people. If you want to establish a better interpersonal relationship, to up your ability to learn in school, or at work, then, you MUST put more work into “listening”.
“Listening” is not just hearing the other person rant on. Sometimes, if we thought we’d heard the other person carefully enough, but we couldn’t repeat what s/he said, then, we didn’t listen.
Those with the Ability to Listen, can Meet Up with Happiness Easily
In the relationship of the pitcher and the catcher, you can also take note of “the ability to listen”.
When the kids are learning to catch the baseballs, everybody would fight to be the pitchers, at this time, if there’s a great catcher, then, the pitcher’s throwing abilities would surely improve by a lot. So, if we used baseball, as a metaphor for the Japanese society, almost everybody is like children, they ALL want to be pitchers, only wanted others to hear us talk.
From this level of meaning, those “adults” who are willing to become catchers then becomes most valuable. The grownups who understand how to listen, can go anywhere in the world, and become popular.
When I was still in the elementary years, I was once helped by such an adult. Back then, there was a neighborhood older boy, three years senior than I, who’d treated me like his younger brother, every time I’d come to the team, this older brother person would always tell me, “Okay, I’ll catch, and you try to pitch it to me.”
Jing Yuan’s techniques were a HELL of a LOT better than mine, but, because he was willing, to become a catcher, that, was why I was able to throw the ball to him continuously. And even though, as I’d played for my school’s team, I never made the pitcher’s plate, but, in the relationship with Jing Yuan, I felt like an all-star pitcher. And now, I’d forgotten all about the practices we’d had, and the games we’d played, however, the relationship I had with Jing-Yuan is still, fresh in my mind.
This older guy, Jing Yuan, even though he was only in the fifth grade, but he already carried the ability, to listen as an adult.
The ability to listen, can help bring out the other person’s abilities, it’s a power to make people happy. If you can observe how others are feeling, and make the other person feel happy, then, you can be called, an “adult”.
Toward the other side, the person can have the joys, of having a child around as company. Because Jing-Yuan didn’t have a younger brother, or maybe, he’s very into “allowing a younger kid to pitch and he catches”, the wish of being an older brother, who knows. In this condition, not only did I improve in my pitching skills, older brother Jing-Yuan also got to know the joys of catching the balls from me.
Even though, as a result, I’d never become a full-scale pitcher, but, I’d successfully gotten to “making both sides happy”, this, was an all too valuable experience for me.
In order for people to feel this closeness of interaction, to establish an intimate relationship, the “ability to listen” is a definite must.
So, listening, is still, MORE important than talking, hello, hello, hello, how many ears do you have? Two, if you’re “normal”, and, how many MOUTHS have you got? That’s still just O-N-E, which still means, that you should listen MORE and TALK less, but these days, everybody wants to get heard, and almost NOBODY wants to listen, and that, is why this world is having so much troubles right now, think about how many problems can be reduced, IF you’d only L-I-S-T-E-N-E-D? Okay, I’m done talking now!