This, would be especially hard, I imagine, translated…
I was way too young and didn’t know any better, married because I had a daughter at the age of twenty-two, in two short years, I’d become a single mother, even though, I was quite young, I’d still worked hard, to raise my daughter, and, during the time when she was growing up, I’d felt strained a lot.
And now, my daughter is out of college, and she’d decided to move to Taipei, and, looking at how enthusiastic she was, I’d said yes to her verbally, but deep down, I didn’t want to let go. I’d used the excuse of no longer under economic stress and health difficulties, to declare my retirement. The house that the two of us, mother and daughter had shared for twenty-four years, was like my heart, all of a sudden, turned cold, and becoming lifeless now.
Recalling the happenings of these over twenty years’ time, I’d focused solely on my daughter, rarely done anything for myself, without friends, OR hobbies, and, the people I saw, other than family, there’s NOT a friend I can share my thoughts with, I’m like a caveman, living alone, deep, in the woods. At first, I’d felt that the society had little kindness and support toward us, single mothers, to the point of keeping us outside the circles, and so, I’d been forced to keep my marital status hidden, to lock down my social circle, and kept making excuses for myself, to not go out to socializing, and, slowly, I’d come to discover, that I’d spent more and more time at home.
I’d know clearly, that I still have hopes and dreams for my own future, what I lacked, was the courage, how did I miss, that there are so many fears, worries when I was younger?
Turns out, that in the over-twenty-year’s time, I’d had my daughter with me, and now, she’s grown, and found her own set of skies to soar, and I, stood still, I can’t adapt myself, to walking this path alone now.
In an early morning filled with sunshine, I’d cleaned myself up, then, put on workout clothes, with a backpack behind me, in my sneakers, guess I’ll be on a journey around the island, a trip for one then!
I’d written this article at the hotel and resort in Hualien, that day, I’d gone on the high speed trains, took the bus, passed through the Shue-Shan Tunnel, saw the Pacific Ocean, saw the other side of the Central Mountain Ranges, it’s been a really long time, since I’d stopped, and enjoyed the great views in Taiwan.
The road is up ahead all this time, and I need not plan anything, I just had to get up, and walk out. Life is filled with endless possibilities, just take it as it come then! So, here, we have the adjustment to empty nest, because her daughter is grown and flown from the nest, and, she being a single mother, it was harder for her to adapt, but, she refused to get depressed for long, she took actions, to make her own life better.