Tag Archives: PTSD

Too Scared to Tell…

We were, too scared to tell the truth, because NOBODY’s gonna take our words over theirs, after all, they’re, respected, by the community, and, we’re, just nobodies…and besides, who’s gonna believe us?  They’d probably say, that we’re just, looking for attention is all, but, we really aren’t, it REALLY happened.

Too scared to tell, because he was in a position of power, and, he’d used that against her, he’d manipulated her into believing what’d happened, was ALL her fault, when he was, actually the one to blame.

Too scared to tell, that, was how she grew up, and, even though, she’s no longer threatened now, she still chose, to keep her lips sealed, because nobody’d believed her before, why should they start to believe her now?  Too scared to tell, it’s NO use, nobody CAN help her out, and so, she must, weather through the abuse from someone she trusted, with her life, and, the betrayals are not just from him to her, but also, from her, to herself as well…

Too scared to tell, as nobody had ever believed anything she told, from that very first time when her daddy came into her bedroom when she was in her younger years, she DID tell her mama, and, her mama didn’t believe her, and, when she’d told her mama again, her mama got real mad, and that, was how alone she’d felt growing up, and now, she’s all grown up, she’s still being victimized, as she’d learned, to become, helpless.

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Rapes, Rationalization, Sexual Assaults, sexual misconducts, White Picket Fence

When Your Childhood Became BAD for Your Health

Traumatized, are we???  Well, WELCOME, to OUR C-L-U-B!!!

When your childhood became BAD for your health, you DO still realize, that this, is THE long-term effects from NOT effectively, SORTING things through as you’d encountered them, right?

When your childhood became BAD for your health, well, everybody IS traumatize, by HER/HIS childhood, to some extent, you’re NOT the only one on this GOD DAMN planet who’s been DAMAGED you know?  And, you had, ZERO right, to DAMAGE someone else, JUST because you were damaged, and you just don’t realize that, at all.

When your childhood became BAD for your health, it’s expected, because you’d left everything back there (in the past), ON that BACKBURNER, and, that backburner’s burnt on, for, GOD knows HOW long already, and, you’re still not turning OFF the fires yet?  Do you want to, BURN down that house where your childhoods were kept?  And, what good, would that do?

When your childhood became BAD for your health, well, there’s NOTHING to do ‘bout that now, what’s DONE, is DONE, is D-O-N-E, and it still can’t be, UNDONE.  When your childhood became BAD for your health, how could this be?  I distinctly remembered, that my childhood was happy, with parents who gave us EVERYTHING they possibly could, and now, you tell me, I’d had a rough childhood?  How am I supposed to cope with that, huh???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Broken Promises, Childhood, Children Murdered, Early Exposures, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Life, Loss, Mental Health Issues, Messed Up Values, Murder, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, White Picket Fence

Trying to Erase What You Did

On your part, and mine too!

Trying to erase what you did, because you couldn’t, live with the fact, that you’d, caused so much damages, to someone you were supposed to love, and so, your mind created this “safe place”, where the tricks of your mind took place.

Trying to erase what you did, because I can’t deal with the fact, that you, someone who was supposed to love me, hurt me, damaged me, instead.  Trying to erase what you did, because, by so doing, I will finally be able to, put ALL these nightmares behind me, and move on, with the rest of my life, but I’m currently, STUCK here, because I’m having a hell of a time, trying to erase what you did to me.

Trying to erase what you did, but, how can I, when those atrocities had been, etched, into my god DAMN mind, and, every time I’d closed my eyes, I’d see the moments, replay, over, over, over, AND over again in my mind…………

Trying to erase what you did, I can’t, because what you did, had become, a part of who I am, and, how can I destroy that bad part of who I am, without hurting myself?  I can’t, so, I’m living, with the consequences, of someone ELSE’s BAD behaviors, once again.

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Rationalization, Re-Experiencing the Trauma

Waking Up in the Middle of a Rape

This ought to be really hard, I suppose, waking up, in the middle of a rape, but you had, and, you tried to scream, kick, and push him off, but, it’s like your body isn’t even yours anymore, as your limbs fell lifelessly to your sides, and, you’d floated on top of yourself, watching what was happening to your body, it’s that sense of surrealness…

Waking up in the middle of a rape, I had, those monsters, they all, crawled out of the darkness at night, and, they’d brutalized me, hurt me, and, my small frame just couldn’t withstand the tortures, and so, my mind went off on its own, separating itself from the rest of me.

Waking up in the middle of a rape, this, is very hard, and god knows how many times you will have to, relive that fateful night, and yet, if you don’t, you will never heal back up properly.  Waking up in the middle of a rape, I had, and, everything WAS surreal, I wasn’t feeling anything, because my mind had, blocked out ALL the memories of those long ago nights, until I was grown up, and can figure things out, then, everything still came, flooding right BACK up, and, believe me, I WAS shocked too!!!


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Filed under Abuse, Being Exposed, Downward Spiral, Life, Perspectives, Rapes, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex

Attacks on a Pakistani School by Nine Religious Fanatics, Over Hundreds of Students Ended Up Getting Murdered

From the Newspapers, translated…

Nine worshippers of the Islamic religion armed themselves up, and went on a shooting rampage at a public school sponsored by the military, and, the site was awful.  There were reports detailing how a suicide bomber set off the bombs in a room with sixty young students; the Palestinian Military officials reported that the terrorists had covered a school instructor with gasoline, then, lit her up, and forced the students to watch their teacher getting burned alive.

The nine Islamic extremists falsified themselves as government officials, and at around ten in the morning, they’d climbed into the school from the back walls, they were all wearing suicide bombing vests, all the way in, they fired off their guns, threw the grenades, and, went into one classroom, and started the massacre.

The ten-year-old child who escaped death told the British Daily, that at ten thirty that day, he’d heard gunshots fired from the outside of his classroom, “the teacher told us it was construction, but the sound grew closer, then, we’d heard cries, my classmate opened up the windows, and he saw several students, dead outside.  Everybody went into a panic, and, two of our classmates, they ran outside because they were afraid, and they were shot, right in front of us.”

The ten-year-old child said, the teacher told us to run toward the back of the school, “the backdoor of the school was about two meters away from the classroom, I grabbed onto my classmate’s hand, and we cried as we ran.  Twice, I felt that bullets grazed passed my head.  We’d run out the backdoor of the school and started crying, a woman pulled us into her house, to safety.”

The student, Jamar, who was shot in the leg, was interviewed at the hospital, that back when the shooting started, he and a group of eighth, ninth, tenth graders were being drilled on emergency rescue, then, the guns went off, nobody knew what happened.  “I saw the students go down one by one, I went down too, that, was when I realized, that I’d been shot.  All the students were shot, and were all bleeding.”

The anxious parents came to the school or the hospitals to find their children, “in the morning, my son was dressed in his school uniforms, and now, he’s lying in a coffin.  He was my dream, and now, my dream was shot.”, Ali, who’s found her fourteen year-old son’s body in the hospital said to the press.

Before the terrorists were subdued, there were over hundreds of students, trapped inside the school, Mrs. Cairn said, “Nobody told me where my son is, I’d already checked the hospitals, I’m going crazy here.  I hope he wasn’t taken hostage.”

This, is a crime against humanity, and, I’m sure, that that, was what the terrorists had in mind, they aimed at hurting someone innocent, to show that they’re tough, and, this, is not going to instill fear in the people, instead, I’m thinking, that it will make the bond of those who were targeted even stronger.

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Filed under Awareness, Children Murdered, Lives Lost, Messed Up Values, Vicious Cycle

Left His Mind in the Warzone

He had, left his mind in the warzones, he went to serve as he’d turned eighteen, and, since he got back home, nothing was the same, he still got up for work, went there, from five, to nine, and sometimes, he’d stayed late nights, to work the graveyard.

Left his mind in the warzone, and he can’t get it back again.  Left his mind in the warzone, and, after the war was over, he’d gone back, to the site where he thought he’d left his mind, and, he couldn’t find his mind again, and, his mind, was lost, for good.

Left his mind in the warzone, even though, he’s back home now, he started having nightmares, and started behaving weird, and, he’d cut himself off from everybody he knew, isolated himself.  Left his mind in the warzone, there’s NO way he can get it back again, the war’s been over, for over three decades, and, he’s still in the mental institution, being treated, for his PTSD from the war.

Left his mind in the warzones, how?  After he saw so many atrocities, he kinda just got “stumped” in his mind, and, he couldn’t make his mind move an inch, out of the warzones………

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, In the Army, Mental Health Issues, Properties of Life

The Four Steps to Healing Up from Trauma

And no, this still didn’t come from me, from the papers, translated…

The random killing on the Taipei MRT on May 21, had caused a LOT of casualties and those who were injured badly, in the shocks, panic, and unsettling feelings, not knowing if they’re able to keep being safe, and, those who have it serious may not be able to ride on the trains at all.

The traumatic events include the sudden deaths of close friends and families, being diagnosed with something terminal or serious, the survivors of a natural disaster, or someone who’s injured badly in an accident, any of these events, whether it be natural of man made, people can exert signs of PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder.

To reduce the impact of the events, there are four steps you can take:

  • Strengthen Your Social Support Network: take the time to accompany, and have casual conversation with the person, if s/he was willing to disclose anything that happened at the time, keep an open mind and lend a helping ear, if the person didn’t want to talk, then, don’t force her/him, as s/he is ready to, it will come out, and it’s best if it’s talked out.
  • Accept Your Own Traumatic Reactions: It’s normal for the person who experienced the traumas to show fear, and the traumatic reactions include the body, the mind, emotions, and behaviors too, the person may have insomnia, nervousness, and the images of trauma, haunting the mind, feeling of not being safe, uncontrolled emotions, withdrawal, or being isolated.
  • Find Relaxing Things You Can Do: As the time passes, the reaction to the traumas may lessen, if you have relaxation techniques, it would help you cope better, and this time would be passed through easily, and life will be easier to handle, for instance, slow down your paces, getting together with family and friends more, listen to your favorite music, taking a stroll, working out together, and the like.
  • Seek Out Medical Assistance When Necessary: if the traumatic reactions persist for three months without getting any better, or it may have exacerbated, then, you can seek out medical assistance, and you must face these issues with a positive mind, you should NOT not go to the doctors, to prevent further damages to your own health, and, when needed, medications can help your days flow more smoothly.How to turn this negative experience into a source of power, something positive, is a long path, but, if we can help one another out, through the social networks, the support and encouragements of your friends and families, you will have a chance of success.

And so, those, are the K-E-Y-S, to overcoming trauma, and, you may add some “steps”, omit some steps, but, you WILL work HARD, to get healed back up, or else, you shall remain, BROKEN, and, being broken is NOT a good feeling at A-L-L!!!

Traumatic events touched the way the world “feels” to us, it’d broken the feelings of trust that we have toward one another and the world too, and it would make people delusional on how much they’re actually in control of in their separate lives. The stages to healing for the survivors include: re-establishing that sense of security, to re-establish connections with the world, along with reconstructions of the traumatic events.

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Filed under Healing Process, Lessons, Life, Observations, Social Awareness, Values, Wake Up Calls

The Nightmares Don’t End

The nightmares don’t end, oh no, they’d been given an “extension” into your days, and so, you’re NOT JUST losing sleep in the nighttimes, you’d also become totally W-I-P-E-D out during the day, and, you know where that leads already, don’t you???  Your work performances goes D-O-W-N, you might even have to take a much-needed “nappy” at the office, while you are CLOCKED IN, and, the WORST case scenario for that would be that you get CAUGHT by the boss, and the boss FIRES you!!!

The nightmares of your childhood don’t end, because you’d become an adult, especially when you hadn’t given those childhood nightmares the ALLOTED time that they needed, and so, you’re now, being plagued, by those childhood nightmares, and, they recur, and recur, and recur…

The nightmares don’t end, as it goes BEYOND Elms Street (Like the horror film, and no, I ain’t never seen that either!!!).  The nightmares don’t end, because the dreamer wants it to, and, the dreamers always wanted the nightmares to end, but, they don’t, and now, all those dreamers are still, DEEP inside their slumbers, screaming their silent screams, with NO way out, and, their voices still came out “muffled”…

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Filed under Awareness, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Despair, Life, Lives Lost, Loneliness/Solitude, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Suppressed Memories, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls