Tag Archives: Problems in a Marriage

A Wife Who’s Engaged in a Tug-of-War with Her Husband’s Gambling Habits

And you’d dated how long before you were wed again?  And he’d managed to keep this BAD habit from you all these years???  A Q&A, translated…

Q: Madam C who’d dated her husband for a long time before getting married, in order to stop her husband from gambling, she’d walked on eggshells.

After she was wed, she’d learned that her husband had taken out a loan of one million dollars because of his gambling debts, later on, the amount was paid up by her mother-in-law, and, no one else in her husband’s house, and she didn’t even know about it.  Five years after they’d been married, the husband had another one million dollars’ worth of gambling debts, he’d blamed it on how they’d fight a lot, that it’d caused him to be in a bad mood, that, was why he’d gambled; and used the excuse of how he’d handed over his pays to her, to have her pay for his debts.  C had paid the money up for him, and since, she’d taken on the managing of his wages, along with the insurances payments too.

In the three years’ time, the husband promised he was not gambling again, but he didn’t have any sense of using less than he’d spent, C kept telling him that they don’t have that much money in the bank accounts, and he just ranted on how he needed a new set of wheels, said that if they didn’t have enough in savings, to take out a loan, C, who’d been managing their finances felt beaten, didn’t know what she should do.

A My Advice

It would be hard, to cure a gambling habit, to tell the truth, if your husband hadn’t gambled in three years, it’s something worth celebrating, but that bug that’s been suppressed too long is now, coming back out, and it’d worried the wife next to him.  C told her husband, that if he’d gambled again, then, she will tell her mother-in-law, and that she would not pay a cent of his debts for him, and would certainly divorce him.  But I believe, that her threats are huffle and puff, and plus, if it really got to the point of divorce, with three kids, C would surely have a ton of challenges coming her way.

After the harsh words were spoken, it’s probably C, taking a stand too, and, it is right, for her to stand strong behind her beliefs, but, she must also show some cares and concerns for her husband too.  and on top of that, because her husband has property under his name, C can ask him to transfer the deeds to under her name, and asked for the separation of both their assets, and ask assistance from certified accountant and attorneys too.

Of course, I hope that they don’t get to that, but, you must prepare for the worst, if the marriage ended up as such, at least, C and her kids would have some form of security.

It is sound, to have money set aside, especially when the husband has this bad a habit, and, even IF he promises not to gamble again, but, based off of his long track records, there’s really no need to trust the man, and this would NOT be due to transference either.

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Coping Mechanisms, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Perspectives

Didn’t Fulfill His Duties in the Marriage, Consulted the Gods on Everything, His Marriage Went Down the Drains

Superstitions, are what ruined THIS marriage, or, maybe, their marriage was already “on the ROCKS”, who knows, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Huang’s husband was extremely superstitions, and would often consult the gods on everything, and he would often use the results from that, along with his own dreams, to question her; when he didn’t pass a government examination, he’d blamed her for putting in a water purifier, and had said that she’d fallen ill, because she did a TON of bad things.  She could NO longer withstand the emotional tortures, and had filed for divorce, and the courts allowed it.

Huang was married for six years, without children, the reason for her suing for divorce was that her husband is always in doubt, would dream of ghosts and gods on a day-to-day basis, and is emotionally unstable, he would take his angers out on her, and cuss her out on a day-to-day basis.  When she’d fallen ill, and made an appointment for a surgery at the hospitals, and had gone back to her own family’s house to recoup, the husband didn’t have ANY empathies toward her ailments, he’d even called up the hospitals, to cancel her surgical appointments, and that nearly killed her.  She could NO longer withstand the tortures of her husband emotionally, she’d moved back in with her mother two years ago, and filed for separation with her husband.

Huang’s husband rebutted, that he has the habit of consulting the gods, but NOT on every single matter; that he’d only had dreams of ghosts and spirits, not on a day-to-day basis, and that after he’d planned to purchase his house, he’d dreamed of how he’d opened up the front door, and saw someone, hung inside.  He’d used the dreams, along with the results of consulting the gods, to ask why his wife was heading to her family’s house, that there was NO malice, that he’d never treated his wife as a punching bag.  He said, that whilst his wife was at her house, she’d refused him to pick her up, and refused the visits from his parents as well, he did NOT want to divorce.

The judge found out, that after the two married, they didn’t get along, and the primary reason was because Huang’s husband had become too superstitious, and would consult the heavens on everything, and, other than blaming not getting a high enough grade on the examinations on the water purifier, he didn’t like his in-laws; as his mother-in-law became bedridden, he’d accused her of faking her illness, and he’d become annoyed, as his wife fell ill too, said that it was because she didn’t do enough good, that, was what’d caused her to get sick.

The judge believed, that the two had separated for two and a half years, and they didn’t have any kind of good interactions, that they’d become totally separated in the hearts and minds; although Huang’s husband didn’t say that he wasn’t willing to divorce, but during the separations, he’d shown NO signs of trying to make it work, that it’d been hard, for both, to maintain their marriage, that the divorce is granted.

And so, that, is ANOTHER day, at the FAMILY CIRCUS court, and that just shows you how a marriage WAS ruined by self-doubt, transference, along with superstitions here.

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Filed under Abuse, Divorces, Excuses, Expectations, Family Matters, Life, Marriages, Messed Up Values, News Stories, Observations, Social Awareness, Spousal Abuse, Values, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex