Tag Archives: Positive Aging

I Don’t Want to Speak of Old Age Again

Translated…

My friend gave me a book, “The Depressed Paris”, I’d only gotten to the second essay, “The Desperation of the Elderly Woman,” I’d become depressed.  The story was about a thinly-framed elderly woman, seeing a beautiful baby, everybody was playing with him.  The old woman saw how this beautiful young life is just as fragile as she, without hair and teeth.  She’d walked toward the baby, wanted to smile at him, to touch him, but the child started screaming out of fear.  The elderly woman then ran away, hid in a corner, then cried… “the sorrows of the aging females!  The youth is already gone!  Even the babies we loved are now, fearful of us.”

With the black and white illustrations, the elderly woman hung her head, sat on the bench, started falling into the abyss of loneliness and desperation.

The writer was the genius French poet, Baudlaire.  He didn’t even get a taste of what old feels like, I couldn’t help but object: hey!  Is old age really filled with desperation?  Even though, youth is already gone, the setting sun is still quite beautiful still!”

The entire world’s population seemed to be aging right now, even there were predictions that told of how after 2050, the geriatrics will be taking over the world, and so, talking of old age became the “it thing”.  I’m already old for a very long time now, and so, there would be a lot of people from the younger generations who’d asked me about the experiences I had after I’d grown old, and I’d also been interviewed, alongside other elderly who lived well.  And I’m very honored, to get to recommend some of the books that helps people accept aging, in other languages as well as in Chinese.  I found, that those who aged gracefully have a couple of qualities: they all have some money saved up, not reliant on their children.  With the basic amounts of health remaining, can walk along freely on one’s own.  With an optimistic personality, the ability to live independently.  With the need for knowledge, unafraid of change, with hobbies, and doesn’t do nothing all day long.

And, those who are elderly and unhappy, some don’t lack their good health or money.  Those who are picky can pick a needle out of a haystack, and those who complained doesn’t see the world brightly, those who lived in self-pity always felt that they were being treated unfairly by others.  And, these personality traits became more and more apparent as one ages, because when one is still young, there are a lot to busy oneself with, and, with time on one’s hands now, not making some trouble would be too boring.  And, the families are usually the most convenient to find troubles with, and, a weird trend of this is that most males would pick on their spouses, while most females would pick on their daughters, or daughters-in-law.

There are many of those elderly who are living in poverty, are long-term bed ridden, demented, those wihwtou the families to look after, and, caring for these elderly, must rely on the system that the government sets up.  There’s a huge gap in the populations of the nursing homes, the rich elderly lived there, for the purpose of enjoyment and leisure, while if the poor moved in, they may be abused.  Can the government maange to take care of these persons.  It would be ashamed, to talk of a happiness that comes at old age with them.  This, is the mindset I have, when I’m tired of talking about old age.

……

Actually, we’re all in charge of our lives.  Take for me, who’s been old a long time, I’d kept a doctor’s words in my mind, “don’t think that once you’re elderly, you can’t do anything, don’t do everything, because you’re elderly either.”  After I retired, I’d taken up art feverishly, in the decades that came after my retirement, my passions are not worn out.  I still loved reading, and now, I’m into the adventure, travels, detective novels, I’d read a bunch of novels by Agatha Christie, because not only is she an excellent story teller, she’d written about human nature, and relationships in depth.  Once when I’d mentioned a Japanese mystery writer, and their eyes lit up, couldn’t believe, that an elderly like me would know him too.  but I believe, that another Japanese mystery writer is even more literary, and, those kids, they don’t know him.  My most favorite show is CSI, I’d sharpened up my mind with the goings on of the case.  Discovering the universe, the nature, and knew that the world is enormous, and I, miniscule.  And, I’d treated everybody with genuine dignity, and so, I’m in an upbeat mood all the time.  I’d heard, that a lot of ladies loved those soaps on love, or on mother and daughter-in-law duking it out, after you’d aged, if you had not tasted love, you will not get a chance to.  What you’d had a taste of will stay in your hearts forever, and, you no longer needed to get stressed out about those romantic relationships.  As for the issues of in-laws relations, you should ditch that when you’re elderly!  I’d learned to write on my iPad, to research online, to contact my friends, my children, to not give up because I’m elderly.  But, “don’t forget you CAN do anything even when you’d aged”, I’m also among those who hung their heads down low when I walked, looking at the ground, so I don’t trip and fall.  Watch out for my health, so I don’t impose on my offspring, to not use the name of “love” to do what I believe is right.

Youth will be gone for sure, and, as for if the dusk is colorful and filled with beauty, well, that’s reliant on the different individuals then.

And so, the KEY to aging gracefully is get involved in the world around you, do NOT start locking yourselves UP as you get older, you will need to continue to socialize, even as you’re older, because socializing with the outside world is what brings stimuli into your lives, and by getting a ton of stimuli in life, your brains are bound to not deteriorate.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

How to Be an Unreasonable & Happy “Dinosaur”

That’s the way to view your older years all right, on positive aging, translated…

Maybe it’s because the newspapers are asking for it, or maybe, there’s an influx of the elderly population, recently, I’d thumbed across a lot of articles regarding aging and the elderly in the population.  Forgive me for speaking my mind, but, all these articles are very identical in nature, it’d made me wonder, if the creativity of the aging population is also declining too.  And, there are articles that has the rules and specifications on how to age, teaching the elderly not to get angered, to remain mild-tempered, just be truthful and honest.  I couldn’t help but wonder, if as you’re aged, you don’t dare offend others, and not daring to take chances, and just lived until one’s final days, wouldn’t this be a grueling way to live?

Recalling how one of the sisters Chu (I believe it was, Tien-Hsin, or maybe, Tien-Wen, or, was it Tien-Yi) wrote an article, mentioning how so-and-so is slowly becoming an “elderly Asian man”.  When I read up on this article, I couldn’t help but wonder, the “elderly Asian man” whom Tien-Hsin Chu imagined, what, does he look like?  And the last five character, hit the issues dead on, “Can’t do anything, and incapable of everything.”

Turns out, that, is what an Asian elderly man looks like!  Those rules for the elderly are teaching the aging population how to interact with the world around. 

Why must we become an unreasonable elderly?  First, you must understand, the elderly population has the right to become unreasonable.  As we were younger, we were involved in the workforce, interactions with others, we must consider more things, we don’t dare offend others easily.  And, as we aged, we’d let all of those restraints slide, especially as we neared the age of retirement, or maybe, we’re way passed that age, at this time, we don’t fear the revenge from our coworkers, nor would we worry we got on our bosses’ bad sides, there’s nothing anyone can do about you.

When you don’t need anything from anyone, you can do a ton of things that aren’t reasonable, say a ton of unreasonable things, not only is this liberating, you’d feel amazing afterwards too, it can add years to your lives!  This, is the primary reason why we should ALL become unreasonable elderly!  But, there’s room for discussion on being unreasonable too, the place we can become unreasonable is mostly in the workforce; the person to whom we’re unreasonable against or towards are our coworkers, and bosses.

And, this, is just one person’s view of what he’d gained from becoming older, and, you gotta admit, there are a TON of perks of being older that you didn’t get when you’re younger too, like now that you’re elderly, people will stand up, and let you have their seats on the busses, or at least, that, is how it’s done here.

 

 

 

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Filed under Attitude, Life, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

More Beautiful as She Ages

Elderly are just soooooooooo adorable, aren’t they???  Translated…

If we’re older, can we no longer pursue beauty anymore?  I saw in my neighbor, Mrs. Hsu what it looks, to become more beautiful as one ages.

Mrs. Hsu is already eighty-five years old, she’d put her makeup on in the morning, with lipsticks so very red, with her long white trousers, her purple top, with a beige colored scarf around her neck, with a ton of energy, as she headed to the temples to offer her incense to the gods.  In the afternoons, she’d worn a fitting dress, showed up in the old folks’ activities center of the community, and sang those old tunes with a group of her friends.  In the early evenings, she’d gone strolling close to her home, and her bright-colored cotton workout outfits made her look as if she’s only sixty-something.

Mrs. Hsu once told me, “Getting dressed up is to encourage myself, a reminder of how blessed I am, to be living to this age, and so, I must keep myself active, radiant, every single day to not waste this gift from the heavens above; and as my offspring saw how energetic I am, they’d feel that I’m a cute elderly person too.”

She’s absolutely right, with the right amount of makeup not only make oneself look energetic, but also presentable to the outside world as well, the elderly need this especially.  Who doesn’t want to age gracefully?

So, keeping that positive attitude about life is still a MUST for aging gracefully, because this elderly person maintained her activeness, her involvement with the world around, that, is why she’s not among those in the elderly population that just stayed in their own darkened living rooms, with the televisions, turned on, get ACTIVE, that way, you’ll age gracefully too.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Attitude, Awareness, Expectations, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life

An Empty Nest, Filled with Happiness

Translated…

As a daughter, I’d gotten this simple wonder, and I’d passed through my childhood, with a heart of enjoyment.

As I’d become a daughter-in-law, a mother, I’d worked hard, to learn, for thirty years, it’d been a long and hard journey.

And now, my children worked hard, to study during the weekdays, to work, and on the weekends, they’re busy, dating, and, until their curfews at ten-thirty at night, they’d all flown back to the “nest”.

My husband and I utilized this time of “empty nest”, to go out hiking, to climb, to listen to the birds and the insects call, to chase away that scent of loss and of loneliness.

Last year on Mother’s Day, my daughter made reservations at a restaurant, said she was going to give us a surprise.

Turns out, it was, a huge surprise, their legendary boyfriends showed up together, one was working, one just finished his graduate studies, and was on his way to serve in the army.

They’d called out to us, with this timidness, “Aunt”, “Uncle”.

The first time we’d all met, it was awkward, we were all very nervous, I’d even called them by the wrong names.  After I’d downed a glass of lemon water, I’d soothed myself back down some.

As a mother, I’d worried, kept wondering, are my girls’ boyfriends treating them well?  Will they get married?  Will they love one another until the end of their days together?………

To help me feel more secure, I’d asked them over to the house for supper, had them help with the place settings, and, I’d made my observations in their interactions.

Sometimes, the “working class” carried over a winter melon planted by his parents, rode over on the MRT, he must’ve gotten weird looks from the other passengers I’m sure.

The “one serving in the army” learned that I was rehabilitating in the hospitals, he’d brought over a bag of hand-picked specialty herb on his day off.  Even though, my own family owned a Chinese medicine shop, I’d never seen this herb.  The stems were covered with pricks, I’m sure, he must’ve had a hell of a time, picking it then? Seeing how the two men are so ordinary and down-to-earth, my husband and I had finally let out a long breather.

Even though, they’re NOT yet sons-in-law, but, they look more and more interesting by the days.

Since, my daughters are engaged in love openly, and happily.  My husband and I continued hiking, going out to see the fields, and, my “empty nest” is also filled with a TON of happiness.

And so, this woman chose to use a positive attitude, to deal with her kids leaving, after all, they’re all grown, and had found good men, and so, she’s glad for them, and, she’d filled up her life with hobbies and things she’d enjoyed doing, that, was why she didn’t feel the strains of the empty nest.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Awareness, Connections, Empty Nest, Letting Go, Life, Marriages, Maturation, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Translated Work, Trends, Values