Tag Archives: Playing Favorites

A Letter Written by His Daughter, the Father Who’s Sexist Was Mandated to Divorce

Sexism, in practice, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Huang, accused her husband for playing favorites with their seven-year-old son, and not loved their sixteen-year-old daughter equally, she couldn’t put up with it, asked for a divorce.  The judge based the letter written by the daughter that stated, “You’d never put your heart on me…you’d told me, that there are a lot of other relatives who looked out for me, that you didn’t need to take care of me anymore…”, and, on the stands, she’d stated that “the verbal exchanges my father had with my younger brother is MORE than the number of words he’d exchanged with me my whole life”, believed, that Huang’s accusations are valid, and, allowed for the divorce.

Huang accused, after her daughter was born, her husband didn’t show ANY care or concerns, and refused to pay for the daughter’s schooling or living expenses, that all the related costs were paid for, by her side of the family, the two had lived together, separately now; the husband said, “you owe me a son”, she’d immediately gotten impregnated by him, but, after her son was born, her husband started playing favorites with her son, it’d hurt her daughter so.  She said, that because of the pressures of her marriage, she’d put her heart and soul into religion, last year, after her daughter went to Canada to study, she’d decided to move out, and made her mind up on divorce.

Huang’s husband rebutted, he’s just not really comfortable at showing care and concern, but, in his daughter’s growing up, he’d accompanied her, and had given her a cell phone, as well as a laptop as presents, and that after the son was born, he’d become better off economically, that, was why he’d started providing for his own son’s education.

The judge called on their daughter to the stand, the daughter showed a letter she’d written to her father last August, “You’d probably not known how I’d dated a younger boy back in middle school, because I’d longed to be loved by a guy, after I’d broken up with him, I’d cried for so long, because I actually thought, that no guy can ever love me, you’d once told me, that there are, a lot of other people who loved me already, that your love would not be necessary, it’s really shocking, that parents would think, that they’d given too much love to their own children…”

The daughter took the stand, and confirmed, that since she was growing up, her father never talked to her in depth more than five times, when her classmates came over, her father would stay in his room, and wouldn’t come out to meet them, but he’d accompanied her younger brother every single day, given a ton of toys to her younger brother, “The verbal exchanges my father had with my younger brother is MORE than the verbal exchanges he’d had with me”.

The judge believed, that Huang’s accusations were valid, that it did, cause their marriage to break up, and the two had slept in separate rooms for a very long time, granted the divorce.  The daughter clearly stated that she wanted to live with her mother, and her husband had no objections, and so, the custody of the teenager went to the mother.  From the social workers’ home visit notes, Huang would often gone abroad to attend functions of religious matter, couldn’t accompany the seven-year-old son long-term, and so, the custody of their son was given to her husband.

So, this, is how FAR favoritism got!  And, the man did it, too obviously, I mean, yeah you are excited to have a son, but, you still should NOT ignore your daughter completely, you’d shown a lack of care AND concern toward her, and, what kind of a father ARE you, to play favorites like that!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Life, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Socialization

The Mother Only Wanted the Custody of the Eldest Daughter, the Judge Believed that the Siblings Shouldn’t be Separated, She’d Ended Up, Losing Custody of Both Daughters

From the Newspapers, translated…

A couple who’d reached an agreement on their divorce just last year, neither was willing to take the custody of their young children, and started suing one another, the mother only wanted custody of their eldest daughter, and the father had asked for custody of both children; the Hsinbei District Court considered that the father will be able to provide for the daughters better, and gave the custodies of both children to the father.

This couple married back in 2007, started last March, the wife started asking for a divorce, and took the eldest daughter away with her, the husband didn’t agree; in June, the wife first initiated the case for divorce and custody, the following month, the husband sued too, and, both had reached an agreement on the divorce.

The judge took into considerations, that the mother only wanted custody of the eldest, causing the children to be separated from each other, and the father was willing to care for both kids, and, the children were raised in the father’s side, and they live in with the grandparents, and, would be safe; plus, the couple had been pointing fingers, blaming each other, and can’t share the custody of their offspring, the judge believed, that the custody, going to the father would be most beneficial for the children.

And so, the mother ended up, losing it all, and, that is all her own fault, because she’d only wanted custody over her eldest, and, how do you think it would make the younger daughter feel???  Exactly, this, is still a lose-lose, for the children, like in any custody cases of divorces out there.

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Divorces, Expectations, Losing Sight of What's Important, Messed Up Values, Perspectives

The Difference in Tolerance, on Parent-Child Interactions

Translated…

My eldest brother has two children, one year apart, not only would the families, but the friends would always ask, who’s taller, who behaved better?  And they’d loved comparing the kids.

Every time when someone mentions how my sister-in-law was playing favorite with her second son, she’d always get angry, defending herself, and in the end, she’d left with anger.

“I don’t know how I can be perceived as unfair?  I’d bought them both shirts, I’d always SPLIT the foods in half for them, and, I’d made sure they’d PICKED the same toys, sent them to the same afterschool cram schools, took them both to school the same, everything that the older has, the younger has too, how is this not being fair?”, my sister-in-law would say.

As a younger sister-in-law, it’s hard for me to tell it clear, but, I guess, the differences is in the tolerance my sister-in-law has toward her kids.

The older cries a lot, so does the younger, when the older tripped and fell and started to cry, my sister-in-law would calm him patiently, “Don’t cry now, just be careful the next time!”, and, if the younger tripped and fell, my sister-in-law would start to scream, “Why the hell are you crying?  You will NOT be allowed to ride your bicycle anymore.  I told you to STOP crying, do you NOT get that?”

The little boys would always stall on doing everything, taking their baths, brushing their teeth, sleeping, the older can waste thirty minutes in bed not wanting to get up, and, the younger, if he’d stayed still in bed for five minutes, then, he’d gotten yelled at.

And the most outrageous time, the younger wanted to nap with his grandmother, and NOT with his own mother, my eldest sister-in-law said to him harshly, “Fine, I’d already given UP on you, you can sleep with whoever you want to sleep with from here on out”.  Then, the following two weeks, other than going out for school, his daily living routines, my sister-in-law NEVER inquired about her younger son.  When she’d gone out to visit her friends, to shop, she’d only taken the older brother, and, as the children came home from kindergarten, she’d also asked the older, “Do you have homework today?”  and when I see the younger child’s look of envy toward his older brother, I can only ask and wonder, HOW, can someone be so cruel toward a child, who hadn’t even BEEN out into the world.

And so, the mother IS playing favorites, but we just don’t know why, the mother had little to NO tolerance toward the younger son, and that is very clearly stated in the interactions that is described above, and, I get that parents have a special kind of feeling toward the firstborn, but this, is really OVERDOING it, when someone ELSE outside your immediate family feels that you are unfair, then, you SHOULD really CHECK into your own actions, but, you don’t, because you LACKED the ability to I-N-T-R-O-S-P-E-C-T!!!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Everyone Else's Fault, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle