Recently, Flower, who’s in the sixth grade, before school, she’d always have a TON of disagreements with what her mother picked out for her to wear to school, “This makes me look chubby, my friends will ALL make fun of me!” “None of my friends dress like this.” Flower started caring about the opinions that her classmates have on her on her appearances, after school, she’d also loved to complain to her parents, “May’s got the newest cell phone, my cell phone is so outdated…”
The parenting blogger, Choyce said, that at around age ten, when children start off in puberty, they’d start to care about how they appeared, and what’s more importantly, when the child feels a lack of self-confidence toward her/his appearances, s/he will use various ways, to make oneself stand out, to try to get her/his peers’ respect by using materials.
Cultivating an Ability Will Help Improve the Level of Self-Confidence
Choyce stated, that when the child start telling the parents what s/he wanted to wear, or would spend HOURS in front of the mirrors in the morn, this, is due to the effects of the teenage hormones, the child started to realize, that s/he is different from everybody else.
For instance, the girls start having breast developments, the boys’ voices become hoarse, and more importantly, the parents MUST let the kids understand what is happening to the children, physically, and the changes in their bodies too.
Choyce said, that when the child didn’t have enough self-confidence, they would be more than likely to use materials to overcompensate, and wonder why the classmates have newer, more advanced cell phones, while one has only an older style. At which time, the teacher and the parents must work together, to tell the child, that the value of a person does NOT rest on the outside or what one owns, the importance is how one makes use of these items.
Choyce analyzed, that the sooner the child learns to care for her/himself, the sooner s/he will build up her/his own self-confidence level. The parents can help them, starting with having them do chores around the house, to take up talents, to train the child to become independent. Once the child has the ability to complete a task on one’s own, then, s/he will have a great sense of achievement, and would NOT be needing anybody else or any materials, to prove her/himself.
Giving Hugs and Praise Will Yield a Greater Result
Mom Mee, an expert on child rearing said, that children enjoyed comparing what they have with one another, this has something to do with the district of school the kids are attending, and the areas that they lived in; when the parents decided to place children in an all-star school, or a costly private school to study, problems like this may surface more.
Mom Mee pointed out, that the parents’ values will directly affect the children’s, if the parents had used materials to entice the children, and, the kids will internalize that, and become MORE materialistic as well, for instance, when the child performs well on an exam, the parents give them gift, or red envelopes, in this method, the children will BASE their own value on the materials they’d gotten.
Mom Mee said, that she is NOT at all in agreement with giving materials as rewards, a word of praise, body contact, constant companionship, are ALL great ways of rewarding the children; writing a card that commended the child for a job well done, or give the child a big bear hug, all of these will have a TON of great effects.
Mom Mee said, that when the children have self-confidence, they will NO longer compare with their peers anymore, and, it still goes BACK to how the parents hold the children in their minds, to how it affects the child in establish her/his level of self-confidence.
Mom Mee believed that parents should NOT base love off of how well a child does or doesn’t do anything, instead, you must love your child as s/he was yours, because the child can LEARN from her/his own mistakes, then move forward, what’s more importantly, parents MUST use the view of praise and commend, to treat their children.
And so, a lesson on P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N-G, and, how MANY of you out there, STUPID (b/c that, is what you ALL are!!!) parents actually DID that? My guess would still BE: NOT very M-A-N-Y, because AT this day and age, we’re still too focused on materials, and, there is NO way that any of THIS sort of bad values will stop, because, you are still WAY too STUPID as P-A-R-E-N-T-S, as for me, I KNOW I’m still an A++ parent!!!