On parent-child interactions, translated…
This year, my eldest daughter who’s in New York, entered into TWO international clothes design competitions: she’d earned the top prize from Spain; and in her entry in Italy, she’d gotten into top ten, and in July, she will enter into the finals. These two international clothing design competition, my daughter was the only Taiwanese person who’d earned an award, and, she could be the pride of Taiwan, I suppose!
Recalling how years ago, when my daughter asked if she could change tracks, I not only didn’t encourage her, I’d even used sarcasms and mockeries, to show how unsupportive I was of her choice in life. I’d used my way of thought from when I was raised, to put down my own children, not believing that my kids would have what it takes, to make their own dreams come true. But now, my daughter, used what she has herself, and gained great accolades, that, was outside of my expectations that’s for sure, other than being happy about it, it made me introspect.
All the way to the top, my eldest daughter was filled with a TON of courage and hardship confronting her choice, originally, she’d already received a master degree in physical therapy from Yang-Ming University, she’d worked at the hospitals as a physical therapist for multiple years, she was paid very well, with steady scheduling too. Other than work, she’d taken night courses on clothing designs at Shi-Jien University at night, it took her a total of a year and a half, for her to get her degree in that. I thought, that that, was only her hobby from outside of work, without realizing, that she’s getting closer to her own personal goals in life.
One day, she’d abruptly told me she wanted to get a master in clothing design in the States, back then, I was furious, I strongly told her no. Because that, was totally unrelated to what she’d taken her courses in before; I recommended that she go for a speech therapist degree, or to test for a therapist certificate in the States, that, would be the right thing to do. Plus, her two younger sisters are still in school too, and we still have yet to pay up our home loans, economically, it would be hard, for us to give her any monetary supports. I questioned her about why she didn’t choose the clothes designs major when she’d gone to college, then, it would’ve saved her this whole detour. She asked us, “Would you have agreed?”
But, my daughter refused to get beaten, for her own dreams, she’d quitted her job at the hospitals, and entered into the economics department’s clothes design competition in Taiwan, she’d gotten first place in the 2010 competitions, at the same time, she’d passed her TOEFL exams, and sent her applications to two of the namely clothes designs graduate schools, and she’d gotten accepted in both, and was offered scholarships too, in the end, she’d chosen to head to New York to take courses in Parsons School of Designs.
And here, I want to give some advice, based off of my own experiences, respect, and believe in your own children, don’t be like me, careful on everything to the point of being unsupportive. As parents, we should learn to let go when we are supposed to, allowing our kids to do what they enjoy, and, younger generations, if you still have dreams, go ahead, go after them!
And no, you still didn’t hear THIS from me, this, was the experience of a mother, who was all too UNSUPPORTIVE of her own offspring’s dreams, but, her daughter did NOT let the parents’ expectations beat her down, she still went AFTER her own dreams, and now, she’s an achieved clothes designer, she’d made it to the top, and now, the mother looks back, and see how wrong she was, and, had she been just a bit MORE supportive, then………well, it’s too late for that now, because we will eventually grow up, and then, we will NOT need you, parents, anymore!