How you, STUPID parents (b/c that is what you all are!), expected us to play that guessing game, reading your minds, but, we don’t want to, and besides, why the @#$% (maxed out!) should we, huh??? That’s the problem, with parent-child interactions, you @#$%ING parents always expects us to read your minds, well, guess what, we won’t, because we had had enough! Translated…
My friend Li-Wen had never been close to her mother, for many years, one of them lives up north, the other, south, they’d accumulated a ton of displeases toward one another in life, they’d not, talked it out openly. Although all of us friends, tried consoling her to let go of her stubbornness, but she refused. Actually, we are, only outsiders, looking in, we couldn’t possibly know exactly what went on between them, how much she’d hurt, over all these, years.
Or maybe, she still had yet to, care for that hurt child in herself, that’s probably why she couldn’t, get along well with her mother!
Right before the New Year’s, her aunt who lives close by bought the fruit gift baskets to send to her mother, told her to pick it up after work. She’d bluntly told her aunt, that she’s busy up to the New Year’s, that her aunt should just, mail it.
what you, stupid parents expect us to be able to do…
All of her friends started, blaming her for not being courteous enough, and not being, understanding enough, while Mei-Feng don’t see what she did wrong. “Li-Wen and her mother don’t live together, the two of them lived far apart, as Li-Wen picked up the fruits from her aunt, supposedly, she would, mail the gift baskets too.”
Li-Wen told, “my aunt wanted me to take the fruits back to my mother, so I can, break the ice with my mother.”
“Wow, such a round-and-about way! Do all the elders need to, go around the circles, to make us do things?”, I’d, become surprised of how their communication wasn’t, more straightforward, “If Li-Wen’s aunt felt that she hadn’t gone to visit her mother in a long, long time, then, she should’ve just told Li-Wen her thoughts directly, but why didn’t she?”
The group of us started, chiming in on how our own elders are exactly like so, my mother’s like that too, so-and-so too…………they all wanted us to play the guessing games, and, when we guessed them wrong, they get, upset with us, and we can’t, not guess at what they’re thinking and feeling, it’s so, tiring!
Why can’t the parent-child communication be like it once were, just opening up, like, put on your coat when you go out when it gets colder out, when you’re hungry, telling the parents that you want some foods, plain and simple? Mei-Feng started, “If I feel upset, I would definitely tell my children, and, there are bound to be the disagreements of our opinions, but, we just, say it out, keeping everything bottled up, nobody can know what you’re thinking about. No comment means, no comment; agreeing by YA! Much simpler, isn’t it?”
Yeah, speak what’s on our minds, so simple. Actually I can’t, even guess at what thoughts I will, come up with, how can I expect my own young, to play that guessing game, to read my mind?
And so, this, is how the elders feel disappointed by us, their, offspring, because we don’t want to play the guessing games, even IF we’re, quite good at these stupid mind games that we were forced to play on the way to growing up, and yet, that’s the problem with all of you, older generations, you do NOT verbalize what you want from us, and as it was me, I would play DUMB, because that, is how I do it, but for you??? How would you handle situations like these?