The problem still lies with the parents here, translated…
Li and Chun had kids who were friends since kindergarten, until college did they go their separate ways. Every time they’d talked about how they’d communicated with their own kids, they’d shown worries. Li said that ever since her son went out-of-district for college, he’d gotten so involved with extracurricular activities, and every time he’d gone out to party at night, he’d lied to her about it, until one time he’d gotten into a car wreck, she’d received a call from his disciplinary officer in school, that, was when she knew about what her son was up to.
Chun said that her son also went off to college, and at first, when he’d left home to stay in the schools, he was very into the welcoming activities as well, and would rode on motorcycles with his friends all ove4r the places. She’d reminded him to tell her where he was going, at first, her son followed it, but one time, he’d said that he was going to ride his motorcycle from Yunlin to Taichung to the night market, Chun’s husband was strictly against it, and ever since that time, their son never tell them his whereabouts again.
The two mothers both complained on how little did the children know of their worries, that they didn’t know what to do. I’d told them, that my two kids who’d graduated from college are just like theirs, that from before, I’d also worried about them, every time I’d inquired, we’d gotten into a huge disagreement about it. My daughter told me, “mom! I’m already in college, don’t bug me so much, otherwise, I will NOT tell you anything, plus, I’m away, you can’t see me.”
Since that time, I’d changed my way, and used a softer method, whenever my daughter says she’s going somewhere, I’d just told her to be safe, and my child loved interacting with me this way too.
As parents, we’d often have our kids’ safety in mind, but, the children will feel that we’re nagging them, and so, DO slam on the brakes, parents.
The two of them heard my advice, and felt that it was a good way, at least, they can reduce the conflicts. If the parents just prohibited, and the children will learn to NOT tell the parents, and the parents are going to worry even more.
And so, this just shows you, that YOU parents are the ones who need to GROW UP, and your kids are old enough to know better, and, when you doubt them like that, that merely means that you’re INSECURE about your own teaching them to behave themselves.