A Q&A, translated…
Q: Madam H, who’s been married sixteen years, with two children wrote…
H, who had nothing but animosities toward her husband and her marriage, the main reason being that eight years ago, the husband quit his government job to go for his doctorate. At first, in the beginning, he would moonlight by teaching, and, all he earned, was merely enough for his spending, a little over a year ago, he’d quit that, said that he needed to focus on his graduation, and started doing NOTHING at home.
H had already had all the pent up displeasures about her husband, which made her refuse to have intimacies with him, and now, there’s this part, the economics (in the eight years’ time, he’d spent over six million dollars on his education, and H, because she must put all her wages into keeping the household intact, she couldn’t save a single penny, she’d felt dangers), which made their relationship even worse. And, the forty-something husband had the problem of not moving forward, and plus, he saw, that his parents has two properties, and a couple million dollars in saving, and so, he’d not look for a job actively anymore.
The husband blamed H for not acting her duty as his wife, because she couldn’t satisfy him physically; and H blamed him for NOT making a dime, causing her to want to separate from him. They’d gotten into numerous arguments, and, there’s still NO conclusion, H had plans to move out, to see IF she could get her husband, to realize the importance of her in his life.
H’s marriage IS in a jam all right, but, not to the point that she need to move out. Based off of what the letter said, the two had just dated a couple of months and decided to marry, and, to date, the marriage had gone on for sixteen years. From the start when the husband had his tempers and started throwing things, to now, he’s helping her around the house.
Only on the subject of NOT working, H should NOT start by complaining about how hard she’d worked, how much stresses she’s been under, she could start by changing the relationship between them, and, take a discussion attitude in talking about money; When the couple is getting along well, everything CAN solve itself. Change the tone, the use of words and your attitude, up ‘til now, I believe, that this marriage still hadn’t reached its potentials yet, first, mend, then, rebuild!
And so, because this L-O-S-E-R is a L-E-E-C-H, after all, he’d only studied, and now, he’s finally graduated, and he still does NOT look for a job, and, the wife’s slaving her life away, no wonder she feels unfair, and this is really bad, because when one of you changed and the other didn’t, the distance between the two of you will get wider, wider, and wider until it can’t be crossed.