Tag Archives: Infertility Troubles

Found My Son, in a Pile of Trash, on Infertility


My aunt who’s past eighty had become easily agitated a lot lately, because her dearly beloved grandson had been married for a long time, but still hadn’t had a child yet.  Once, my aunt asked me, “I recalled that you were infertile for a very long time too, how did you get pregnant in the end?”

I said to her, “I’d found my son, in a pile of junk.”

My aunt looked at me with her disbelief, and so, I’d told her about this story from long ago.

Back then, because I feel the need, to win at everything, I’d placed too much pressure on myself at work, and so, I couldn’t have a child for a very long time.  Back then, what I feared the most, was going back to visit my mother-in-law’s house, she’d often told me, without much thought, of how a certain neighbor of hers just became a grandma, and how cute the baby was, how she’d envied her, etc., etc., etc.

One day, I’d thumbed across the line, “Sometimes, you’re destined to receive, and, when you’re not you mustn’t force it”.  It wasn’t a special statement or anything, but it’d made me, who was feeling too taxed out at the time, contemplate on the words very much, all of a sudden, I’d felt why must I pursue the things that I’m not even so sure of beholding?  And so, I’d quit my busy job, and worked part-time at home, took in the cases, and allowed my body and my mind, to relax completely.

That very day, my husband found a set of Chinese medicine books in the junk piles, he just felt, that working on the cases that I’d worked on, the books may prove to be helpful to me someday in the future, so, he’d brought the set home.

Later on, I’d found a name card in the book, of a Chinese Medicine Doctor, I’d heard my classmate told me, that he specialize in women’s troubles, and would travel between Taiwan and the U.S., and, he didn’t have a specified time that he’d stayed in Taiwan.  I’d tried dialing the number on the card………Later on, there’s finally, an addition to the family………so, basically, saying that I’d found my son, in the trash piles is the truth.

But, what I really wanted to tell my aunt was, , the medical advances of today, is better than when I tried to get pregnant in my time, if the couple was willing to go allow with the treatments that the doctors prescribed, it shouldn’t be that hard, to get pregnant.  But, the decision of whether or not to have children should be left, to the younger generations, even IF worries are needed, leave it to their parents, the grandparents’ generations had done their duties already, so, STOP worrying!

Plus, I really don’t know, if my getting pregnant was the treatment by the Chinese medicine doctor, but back then, I was, relaxed, plus, I’d not forced it, and, my system functioned better.  As for “I’d found my son, in a pile of trash” matching up to the statement of, “Where or not it’s meant to be in life, leave it up to fate to decide”, maybe, it was, only a coincidence.

But I KNOW better, that it’s NOT a coincidence, because you were meant to have a child in life, and, because you were too stressed out from before, and, then, you’d learned to relax, and just, leave everything to FATE, and by taking away that psychological stress that you’d placed upon yourself, your body became more receptive, and that, was how you were able to get pregnant easier…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Observations, The Observer Effect

Taken the Hard Road to Conception

Infertility issues here, and, it is, especially hard, for those in the Eastern cultures, translated…

I thought, originally that getting pregnant and having a baby would come naturally after I married, without knowing, that it was, actually, the beginning of MY nightmares.

I was a little over a month into my first pregnancy when the doctor believed, that the child didn’t have a heart beat, I’d gone to three separate doctors, and, they’d confirmed, that, it was, “a malformed fetus”, and so, I’d taken the advice of the doctor, had an abortion, and, because I was still quite young, I’d taken a few days of, then, headed, straight back to work again.

Without realizing, that that, was only the beginning of my trials, first, I had a hard time, conceiving, waited for a year, when I’d finally gotten pregnant, I’d taken extra care, but, two months in, I’d miscarried again.  Still recalled how rushed I was, to get to the hospital, and the doctor told me, that I couldn’t keep an unhealthy pregnancy, that I shouldn’t take it to heart too much.  Although I understood what he was telling me, but, I’d had to, swallowed down hard, those tears, it felt, like a bitter glass of alcohol, the sense of loss, was beyond my verbal expressions.

This time I’d miscarried, it’d waken me up, I’d decided, to take good care of my body, on the one hand, I’d gone to see the Chinese doctors, to get my body well, and on the other, I’d sought out western ways, to help me with infertility, during which time, I’m grateful to my husband, going everywhere with me, and, I’d gone to the Chinese doctors regularly by the week.  Because there were so many patients, we’d often had to wait for the entire evening, by the time I’d finally gotten home, it was, past ten o’clock, the very next day, I’d headed over to the Chinese medicine shops, to get the medications, and cook the meds myself.  In the morning and evening, I’d pinched my nose, and managed, to drink down the bitter medication.  On weekends, I’d rushed to the OBGYN’s office, to try an assortment of ways to help me conceive.

My mother-in-law’s side of the family also worked hard, to find an assortment of ways, and, they’d even done a ritual called, “exchanging flowers”, hoped that I can have a trouble free birth.  In all of our working hard together, finally, four years after we wed, I was, able to, have a son.

In the past, I’d had a smooth ride, in school, and at work, I’d thought, that everything I got, I worked hard for, and after going through this arduous process of getting pregnant, I’d understood, that other than believing in myself, and my own persistence, I’d relied even more on other people’s help and encouragements.

My son is truly, a gift from god, without this difficulty in conceiving, I couldn’t have gained the understandings I have for life, and I couldn’t have learned, to be humble or grateful, nor would I cherish what I have right now.

And so, this, is just, a lesson, that fate had you learn, the HARD way, because you’d had a smooth ride all the way, fate tossed you a curve ball, so you’d learned to not take things for granted, and, you’d learned your lesson well, which, is why things have worked out for you.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Cost of Living, Despair, Expectations, Family Matters, Fate, Issues on Gender, Lessons, Maturation, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Values