Tag Archives: Final Affairs

Her Final Farewell

How considerate this elderly woman had been, planning out everything that is to be done after she was gone, relieving her children and grandchildren, and other families of stress of her death, translated…

“We’d, walked toward death the moment we were born”, the philosopher told.

During my studies in the graduate department, Professor Wu of “Old Texts” shared with us the story of his mother-in-law’s “final farewell”.  As his mother-in-law was ill in her dying days, one day, she’d felt that her time was about almost up, she’d had my professor and his wife prepared the gifts, had them accompanied her to the few relatives to visit, to say her final farewell to them, to see them, one final time before she goes.

The elderly carried the gifts, told the friends and relatives: we’d been connected by our affinities of one another, that she’d been grateful for their kindness toward her, that if she’d upset them, hope they will forgive her for it, that this may well be the final time she will ever get to see them personally.  That was, the elderly’s bidding all whom she cared for a final farewell.  And, as those whom she’d visited cried and hugged her, my professor who was driving, helped his mother-in-law fulfill her wish of bidding everybody a final farewell.

As they returned home, the elderly took out half a million dollars, told my professor’s wife of how she’d wanted her final affairs to get sorted out, then, a few days later, she’d left the world, peacefully behind.

My professor told, this is the elder’s “saying thanks, expressing the love, making amends, and saying her goodbye”, a form of “final farewell”; his mother-in-law is a wise elder, she’d even, sorted out her own final rite of passage in her own life herself, lived a complete life, and, died with a smile on her face.  I hope, that as I get to the very end, I can have the same kind of courage, same sort of wisdom, to bid my loved ones, a good final farewell too.

And so, this, is the elderly woman’s considerations toward her own younger generations, she’d sorted everything out, so they only needed to follow what she told them to do after she was gone, and, by setting up the step-by-step, to-do list of what was to happen after one is gone, you’d be reducing the stresses, helping your own loved ones, cope with the losses of you, and, they will all be very grateful, toward you, for how you were kind enough, to plan everything out, so all they had to do was to execute, and grieve, without worrying about the funeral, and everything else that comes afterwards.

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Filed under Life, Old Age, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

Two Years from Now, the Sales of Adult Diapers Will Beat the Sales of Diapers for Children

See how FAST the population is aging now???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

In yesterday’s “How to Age Gracefully” forum—the 2014 Elderly Care, the eighty-four year old senior activist actor, Yueh Sun stated, that at age 41, he’d started learning how to age; that the elderly population has the responsibilities to teach the younger generations how to take care of the elderly, and they must show understanding toward the younger generations who took care of them.  The well-known not-for-profit famous person, Shu-Li Chen, along with the well-known writer, Wu also shared the hardships they had, of taking care of their elderly parents, their stories are filled with hardship and warmth, a lot of the members of the audiences started crying as they heard them share.

This forum was hosted by the VMH elderly medical research and the UDN papers, Mo Shadong and Sheng-Heng Chang, the speakers included, the former manager of the subsection of the sanitary department, Yang, Yeh, the Director of the Elderly Research Department of VMH, Chen, along with a lot of other namely people.

The director of the VMH is Taipei, Lin told, that as he’d gone to Japan for vacation at the spas, he saw NO children; he was shocked, to come to the realization, that Taiwan was about to walk in Japan’s footsteps, in becoming a nation of the elderly population, and that we must seek out ways, to help make the impact less severe.  The paper’s owner, Shiang also stated, that by 2016, the population of sixty-five and older will beat the population of children under age fourteen for the very first time, and that the sales of adult diapers would be more than the sales of diapers for children.

Yang said, now, he’d rarely received those white death notices, because most are pink or red (meaning that the deceased are all above age 80); and, there are more and more incidences where the elderly ARE taking care of the elderly in society.

Yueh Sun in the forum shared how he’d taken the aging gracefully approach, he said, that as we become elderly, we still must find instances of fun in life, he’d once asked himself on an international flight, if I’d died right now, would I have any regrets.  The answer was no, because he had his dearly beloved family members right by his side.  Like how he was diagnosed with lung cancer and lung embolism, other people may feel sad for his conditions, but he’s still enjoying his own life, and had used harmonica to train his breathing rhythms too.

He’d also reminded the elderly in the population, that they should carry that heart of gratitude toward their caretakers, for instance, their children, their doctors.  The doctor who’d operated on him back then, the professor of the surgical department of NTU, he’d worked so hard, to find his wife, for the sake, of telling her thank you.  Started at age 41, Mr. Sun had trained himself to age, observed the elderly in his vicinity, on how they’d interacted with their environments, and when he finally reached the age of maturity, he knew how to live happily.

Shu-Li Chen stated, that she and her mother are extremely dramatic, her mother is a quiet singer who’s never taken the leading role, while she, is loud, and took on the leading roles in the operas, and, they’d used their ways to shout at one another, to fight; after multiple years of working hard to get along well, of communicating with one another, it’d gotten to the point where the mother must be hugged by her each and every single night, before she’s able to sleep soundly, the reason being, that she’d learned that “patience” and “respect” are vital keys in getting along with the elderly.

“I was truly wiped out back then.” Chen told, as tears started falling down her face, that her mother had a bad knee, and chose to get treatment in Hualien, and so, she must ride the trains regularly between Hualien and Taipei often.  Until her mother fell too many times, and just refused to get back up again, she’d used “if you got better, I’ll take you to Japan” as an incentive, and her mother went through arduous rehabilitation, and finally, she got on her wheelchair, and they went to Japan on that trip she’d promised her on.

Taking care of his mother who’d had a stroke eighteen years ago, and during which time, his father died suddenly, Wu the writer stressed, “taking care of the elderly now, is taking care of yourselves later on in life.”  He’d told that if one can become best friends with one’s elderly parents is synonymous with being able to talk about issues regarding death with ease.

Wu told, that his mother, reading the death notices of her friends and relatives said, “how come they’d gotten cremated so soon?” he’d asked her how many days she wanted to be put on ice?  His mother told him, after you’d recited the Buddhist verses of eight hours straight, then, you can cremate me, but, “being on ice for forty-nine days is too long”, then, she’d changed to, “I need to think more on it.”  Wu said, if you can manage to talk about how to deal with an elderly’s death, then, you will reduce your regrets by a whole lot afterwards.

And so, learning to die is what this is all about, and, because we’re all young (most of us, at least), we don’t really think about this “tabooed” topic, but, this forum is helping people to plan ahead of times, to learn to say goodbye to their loved ones early, so, if and when death came suddenly, you won’t have any regrets.  So, go, go and say goodbye to your loved ones now, don’t put it off any longer!

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Life, Observations, Old Age, On Death & Dying, Values

Say Goodbye in My Own Way

I will want to, say goodbye in my own way, leave this world, the way I so choose, but, I’m afraid, that that, is NOT even in MY control now………

Say goodbye in my own way, everybody wants to, but, what makes you so positive, that you will, get to say goodbye in your own way?  Did you already plan your affairs out already?  Or, are you still living in that taboo, that death should NOT be spoken, unless it became absolutely N-E-C-E-S-S-A-R-Y?  Say goodbye in my own way, I will get a chance, to plan everything out, and, the executioner (yes, I will have one of those too!!!) of my will will do as I’d specified, because that, is how I want to leave you.

Say goodbye in my own way, how many of you can anticipate your own deaths?  Or, are you still fearing it, instead of accepting that that, would be how everything ENDS?  Say goodbye in my own way, I can, because I’m more than prepared for death, but death, well, it still doesn’t seem to want me yet, oh well, I’m still prepared here, so, when eventually (don’t know when exactly!!!) it (death) comes for me, I can open my arms, and embrace it fully!

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Life, On Death & Dying, Properties of Life, Values

Hiring Mourners for Your Funerals

This, is what you’ll BE doing, as a “last rite” of your lives, because NOBODY else is going to C-R-Y for you when you die.  Hiring mourners for your funerals, it’s actually, the very LAST “resort”, because you’d looked high, AND you’d looked LOW, and, you still ain’t FOUND anybody who’ll CRY for you when you die yet, because you never made the slightest difference in anybody ELSE’s life.

Hiring mourners for your funerals, but, one thing you CAN be sure, is that those tears overflowing their eyes, down their cheeks, are NOT at all, genuine, OR heartfelt, they’re PAID to cry for you, remember???  Oh yeah.

Hiring mourners for your funeral, is there a necessity?  Of course there IS, as ALL whom you thought loved you actually don’t, and the ones who REALLY, REALLY, and I mean, R-E-A-L-L-Y cared about you (that’s still YO mama!!!), are already DEAD AND BURIED, way before your “clock” expires…

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Despair, Karma, Life, On Death & Dying, Trends, Wake Up Calls