Tag Archives: Choices

Parents Who are Open, Granting a Future of Possibilities for Their Young

The KEY determinant here, is still the attitudes of the parents, written by a school principal, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

As I’d held the meetings with the teachers, the first grade instructor said, “I’d used a lot of time away from class to teach Shih-Shin Chinese characters, but, as I’d turned around, he’d forgotten, I feel so beaten by this”.  I’d told her, “he’s a special needs student, there are bound to be things that happen with teaching him.”, another teacher next to me stated, “He has beautiful handwriting, an excellent artist too.”

My eyes became bright, I’d told everybody, “I’d discovered, that Hong-Hong too, is excellent in art as well.”  Hong-Hong was one of those kids who were often kept after school, to finish up his assignments; last year, for Teacher’s Day, the third grade class drew a ton of beautiful pictures, that amazed us all.

In teaching, the teachers might focus on the grades of the academic subjects such as Chinese, math, science, social studies, but ignored how the child is intelligent, and, there are even MORE teachers and parents who would restrict the child from exercising her/his other talents, because the child didn’t do well in the academia, this sort of belief of how “the scholastics will rule” is often killing the children’s areas of talent, and it’d prevented the child from developing her/his other areas of abilities as well.

Many years ago, a parent told me, when they’d taken the child to sing karaoke, she was surprised at how her daughter could sing all the songs, she’d seen her daughter, hitting the books, she wonders, when her daughter had picked up on the music; that year, the child got into an all-girl’s high school, and is now, a middle school teacher.  My friend’s older sister’s son, when he was back in the third grade, couldn’t figure out what five plus three is, and now, he works in the finances, and gold investments.  Bo-Yen loved researching birds, on the weekends of his middle school, and high school years, he’d followed the bird watching association, to all over the places to watch the birds, and, his grades are less than impressive to his parents, he’d signed up for the biology department back in the university years, had done excellently on his oral exams, was accepted by a namely public university.

Kai-Jie’s father is an officer, his mother is a homemaker.  Once after a parent-teacher conference, she’d told me, she’d let it go.  Because her daughter who was accepted by an all-girls’ high school told her, that she should allow her younger brother to go after the majors he’s interested in, otherwise, she will end up, losing a younger brother who is close to her heart.  Later on, Kai-Jie entered into the cooking majors, gotten his chef’s certifications, competed, became excellent in his area of expertise.

Bao-Jen since he was younger, had loved little critters, as he’d gone into the middle school years, as his classmates are out playing balls, horsing around, and running, he’d shared the time with insects, fishes, birds, or carried on in conversation about the topics of animals.  His grades are very high, it would be easy, for him to get into a namely high school, but the parents both stated, that they’re going to allow their son, to choose a major of his own choice, respected his decisions, and now, he’s studying, in the major of animal health, as he liked.

So, from this, you can see, how the parents must support the children in their areas of interests, and not just focused on the academic performances, because allowing the kids to pursue their interests can become a drive to learn for them.  And still, open parents are often keys, to a child, learning happily.

There’s an endless possibilities for the children’s futures, there are still a ton of unknown industries that we don’t know about, that are, waiting to be developed.  Focus on the moral education of the younger generations, cultivate their areas of interests, so the children can have more supports from the parents, making way, to happier families.

And so here, the attitudes of the parents ARE the keys to the kids’ success.  So parent, DO show your kids supports, when they come to you, all excited, because, that joy in learning will become their motivation in life later on, but, there are just, too many parents who PUSHED their kids to take the majors that they THINK would be better, and that will manage to SLAUGHTER the love of learning for their offspring.

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Child Development/Education of Children, Education, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Socialization

When the Right to Decide is in Your Hands

Call this, a LOSE-LOSE, into a LOSE-WIN, if you will!!!

When the right to decide is in your hands, you WILL lose, either way, because if you decide, to let that cheating bastard BACK into your lives, then, you’ll always BE doubting yourselves, and wondering, every time when he’s not around you, if he’s humping some OTHER whores or not, and, if you decide NOT to let that loser back in, then, you’d still have to GRIEVE, really hard, for the loss of what you’d placed into that relationship…

When the right to decide is in your hands, how is this even possible, we were, a couple, weren’t we?  And, as a couple, we normally decide on things together, and we MUST reach that unanimous vote on things like a jury?  And yet, how come, I’m the one, left with the difficulties of deciding how it’ll end?  When the right to decide is in your hands, BE glad, that you can, have a say, in what happens, because, would you RATHER that the other person make that first AND last move?  Or, would you rather, be the one, pulling the plug?

When the right to decide is in your hands, just take it, and say, “Thank you”, and, don’t QUESTION the one, who’d left the right to decide in your hands, because they can’t decide on their own, or that they just, don’t want to decide, so, they’re giving you the “right of way”, and, having the right to decide, IS equivalent to having the PRIMARY control (yeah, the relationship had always BEEN about CONTROL there, had you not realized it, ‘til now???), so, just be glad, that at least, you’re NOT leaving the decision to stay or leave up to the other individual…

When the right to decide is in your hands, you have the homing advantage, of affecting how something will turn out, and, what wonderful thing that is!  So, BE glad, that you still have the right to make the decisions regarding whatever it is that is affecting your lives.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Maturation, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

The Balancing Point Between Love & Living

A story on marriage, translated…

My cousin was in love with an older schoolmate for over two years, and met his parents a couple of times, and she’d planned to marry him after college, but, at this time, she’d found, that her boyfriend had kept an important fact of his life from her, his father is a gambling man.

The boyfriend’s father works in a construction site, but, most of his wages are lost at the gambling tables, and, the household economics was solely supported by his mother who works endless hours in the factories, along with the handicrafts she brought home to finish, but, they are barely making ends meet.

The reason why my cousin liked her boyfriend was because he’d made good grades, has great character, works hard, step-by-step, comparing to those who relied on their parents, it’s hard, to find a man like her boyfriend.  Plus, his kindness and gentleness toward her in all areas, it’d captured her heart.

I kept believing that my cousin would choose love, but, she’d told me in a rational manner, “I’d measured my own abilities, I couldn’t possibly shoulder his household economy after the marriage, from before when my boyfriend gave his earnings to his mother, but his father took it to the gambling tables.  I’d asked myself over and over again, I’m certain that I wanted the love, but am unsure of whether or not the quality of love would be the same was now.  And, the enormous economic pressures of his house, I certainly can’t shoulder it, so, I’d severed the ties, leaving behind just the good memories, I don’t’ want to marry him, and live the life of a poor couple with all the miseries in the world.”

My cousin’s word, made me believe that she is a very mature woman and who has her own thoughts.

I too, shared the stories of my own relationship with her, my husband is from a poor background, his mother died young, and his father started taking away his wages from when he’d started part-timing in middle school.  Back when he wanted to marry me, he couldn’t even put up the basics of $100,000N.T.s.  But I didn’t care, we’d agreed that we will move into my parents house after we wed, and give his father just $10,000N.T. per month, instead of his whole paycheck, and so, his father could have some spending cash.  After we’d agreed on this, we got wed, and, even though we’d had our difference after we wed, but, we’d tolerated one another, communicated with each other, we’d gotten along fine, and his father, my husband took care of entirely, I’m just as free to work, to spend my leisure time as I had done before marriage, this, is the love I want.

And so, how, does one pick between love and living?  Even though, I put love first, but, I’d solved the problems of living first, before love.

After all, marriage is for life, and, in order to have a certain quality in your marriage, you must reach that balancing point between love and living.

And so, the woman is trapped between love and life, she loved her boyfriend, but, her boyfriend has a huge baggage, and, in the end, she’d given up on love, and that, is the practical decision that she’d made, there’s no right or wrong in that!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Marriages, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Insisted on One’s Own Choice

The features of a woman, translated…

Last week, I went to a wedding, seeing how the bride, Shuan came in with her groom in smiles, all the memories flooded over my mind.

Shuan was a student I tutored as a college student, she was just a freshman in high school back then.  Her birthfather died, her mother married a Taiwanese business in China, she’d told me that she wanted to do what her birthfather did for a living, see all the buildings he saw, learn to draw the designs as he’d done.

The day before turning in her majors in the colleges, Shuan secretly changed the first choice that her mother put down for her to architecture.  Later, she got in, but her mother was angry and wanted her to retake her examinations.  Shuan insisted on her own choice, she’d moved all alone, to the middle strip, started part-timing her way through college, didn’t get a cent from her family during the four years.

After four years, Shuan graduated, top of her class, then, went to the States to get her master’s degree.  The groom was her classmate from grad school, the two planned to set up a studio in Taiwan later.  Shuan was determined, to carry on with her father’s work, just like that small house that was drawn on the wedding invitations, it’d get the family on the same page.  I saw Shuan’s mother, walking around the banquet, with that extra assertion and support for her daughter’s decisions.

And so, that, is how a woman succeeded, she didn’t back down from what she wanted to do, she went for it, and, her persistence, I’m quite certain, was a major contributor of her success in life.

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Filed under Attitude, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Necessity of Being a Part of an All-Star School

On parent-child interactions, translated…

My youngest, is the last generation of entrance exam takers, started in his second year of middle school, he’d made straight A’s and scored at the top of his class, and, ranked in the top twenties and thirties of his school.  And the school he’d attended, there were about sixty, seventy graduates who’d managed, to get into their top choices of high schools too.  Still recalled how the last semester of his last year there, his homeroom instructor told me, that his grades are very steady, so long as there’s no blip, then, he’ll get into his first choice without any problems.

On the day that he’d taken the examinations, we’d gone out, to a celebratory supper, my son was so full of confidence, he thought he’d done quite well, but, that same night, as he’d compared the notes, he realized, that he was too careless, that he’d gotten the problems wrong that he shouldn’t have, and he’d calculated that he wouldn’t get into his second-choice, and he’d started crying, thought, that his three years of hard work was for naught, and that he won’t get a second chance, to prove his own abilities now.

Two weeks ago, on the graduation, my son had gotten the mayoral award, he said, “this, was my most tragic graduation, seeing how everybody else is feeling so happy, and I just can’t get my moods up.”

I’d consoled with him, “You don’t know if it’s a blessing yet.”, my husband, who’s usually silent and rarely smiled at all told him, “It doesn’t matter which school you attend, the important thing, is that you have what it takes.”, and he’d specifically picked out a glass sculpture of a rhino, kicking a soccer dead on, as my son’s graduation present, on the base, the note said, “We wish that in the futures, every time you’d struck, you’d hit home runs!”

Later on, my son chose to go and attend a community high school, and because of the location, I could pick him up after I got off work.  And now, his moods are back to where they were from before, especially when he’d learned, that there were three other classmates who had scored high enough, to go to their first choice, but instead, they’d come to attend the school that’s closer to home, he’d gotten even more motivated to study, and, his grades are comparable to what he’d made back in middle school.  And now, he’d smiled all day long, he said, “other than the academics is heavier, it seemed like I’m still in middle school.”

Seeing how he smiled so radiantly, I knew, that he’d found his confidence back again.  Who says, that you must attend an all-star high school?

Because there’s that M-Y-T-H, of name-brand being the best, that, is why all the parents urged their kids to do well on their examinations, so they can go into those all-star high schools, without knowing, that in those all-star high schools, there would be a TON of competitions, and, if you’d just gone to a regular neighborhood high school, yeah sure, maybe, there’s NOT that much fame to the schools, but, at least, you wouldn’t have bitten off MORE than you can chew, and, you wouldn’t BE crushed, by the course load from if you’d gone to attend an all-star high school.

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Filed under Education, Maturation, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life

Work Hard, and Your Dreams Shall Come True, on Education of Children


I’m a last year middle school instructor, I’m also the parent of a examination taker, toward the parents of my students, along with my own child too, I’d had a very different testing season.

After the major tests were done, after the first scores were noted, a TON of the kids in my class said that they don’t want to go for another test anymore, that they’re only young once, they don’t want to waste their youths away, cramming, but, they seemed to be dissatisfied with the schools they’d gotten into.  I’d asked how they felt, a lot of them believed that they should party hard first.  There are, however, three or four kids that told me, that they wanted to take the specialty exams, to give themselves another shot.

As I’d returned home, my only baby girl too, was crying, she seemed dissatisfied at the school she’d been accepted to, she told me, that she wanted to take the specialty examinations and was ready to buckle down and study.  I asked her, if there’s anything I can do, to help her out?  She hoped to take extra sessions at cram school.

And so, she started focusing on her plans of beating it, and, every day before seven I’d taken her to San-Chong MRT Station, where she got on, to go to cram school on her own; and at eleven in the night, we’d picked her up at the MRT stations.  My wife felt bad, seeing how my child would drag her tired body, she’d felt her heart ache, but I’d told my daughter clearly, that going to school is the easy part, that there are more challenges in her future up ahead, and that she should treat this time of her life, as the most hard-working time of her career as a middle school student then!

And so, some chose to party, other, to give oneself another chance.  Because of the typhoon, the grades were posted early, and my daughter got into the top three schools she’d hoped for, and those students who’d given themselves another chance, all performed relatively well too, some had even gotten accept to their first choice.  But, I’d seen on Facebook, “It must be easy for you, who’d taken the specialized examinations, so easily, you’d scored so high, had I known, I would’ve signed up too…”, without realizing, that on this road, those kids who walked it, had already worked real hard, to get to where they currently are.

In the depth of the night, I saw an article I’d saved after I’d retaken the entrance for my technical college, it wrote: “This, is probably how we all grew up/when we were younger, the meaning of life/existed only in July of the year/and so we worked hard/and studied underneath the early morning bus stops/to the lamplights of late nights…………”

Then, I wanted to cry, working hard, and, you will achieve your dreams!  Recalling my students, my own daughter, and I’d also gotten reminded of how I’d retaken my exams too, how much stamina I’d had back then.

And so, this, just shows you, how you need to set a good example for your kid to follow, like the writer of this article, he too, retook his entrance, because he didn’t get the desired grades the first time, and, because of his hard-working, never-quitting attitude, he’d gotten where he was.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Decision-Making, Education, Life, Reforms in Education, Standardized Testing, Values

The Courage to Make Her Grand Exit, Work or Keep Studying

In the workforce, translated…

After a decade, I’d met up once more, with my colleagues from the research institution again, and I’d realized that of the twelve students in my class, that the only one who’d already gotten to my goal in life from back then, was S, who’d filed for retirement after she’d received her degree, gave up on the hard-to-come-by opportunity to further her education, and entered into the workforce.

Back then, her dorms are right next door, we’d already talked about similar issues before, I’d suggested that she finished her degree first, after all, she’s already half-way done with her course requirements, and that we must finish from beginning to end, but she believed, that her dream is to become a professional agent, and, if keep going to school does NOT fulfill the requirements of what she was looking for, why not just quit.  I could feel her anxiety, after all, “dropping out” is quite rare back then, for us who’d gotten baptized by the national entrance exams, “dropping out” symbolized failure, it’s almost the same as getting kicked out of school, and S, who’d gone through the best schools in her lower years of education, it’s imaginable the pressures she must’ve felt on the issues of “dropping out”.

After I’d received my master’s degree, there was an influx of higher education degree holders, and so, with a master’s degree, it doesn’t help me in job hunting, it’d even become an obstacle to my getting a job.  And, because of how I couldn’t find a job, most of my graduate class had chosen to take the government positions examinations, or to head off abroad to get their doctorates.  A decade after we graduated, we’d reunited again, there were still a handful of us who are going to school abroad, only S, she’s on the right path to living her own dreams, she now works at a foreign company, in a manager’s position.  Recalling all the changes we’d gone through in our lives, I realized, that stamina and persistence are two important factors, but, facing this ever-changing world, having the courage to make the exits is even MORE important!

And so, this woman “strayed” from the path, she struck out, because she felt that it’d be best, if she’d started working, and turns out she was right too, after all, a LOT of people are choosing to go BACK to school, because they couldn’t find a job, and so, school becomes a sort of an escape from their realities, and the longer they’d stayed in school, the harder it would be, for them all, to get their lives BACK on track.

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Filed under Awareness, College Life, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Education, Education Levels, Expectations, Lessons, Life, Nonconformity, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values, Wake Up Calls

Choosing to Live in Poverty

Now, why would ANYBODY in her/his RIGHT state of mind do such a thing?  S/he must have gone Coo-Coo there…

Choosing to live in poverty, because I’d observed that people today are too focused on the materialisms in their lives, that they’d lost SIGHT of what’s really important, and, I’d seen so MANY cases where having too much money “backfires”.

Choosing to live in poverty, to reduce my desires, my wants, to ELIMINATE all the possible temptations out there in the world from getting TO me.  Choosing to live in poverty, because I believe that only through living a poverty-stricken life, will I be able to gain my humanity, because if I don’t experience firsthand how the “other half” lives, how will I be able to empathize with them?

Choosing to live in poverty, yeah, I can dress up like those people in business, in their suits and ties, carrying their Tumi bags and suitcases.  Choosing to live in poverty, so I’d gain an understanding of what those worse off than I are going through, so the next time I’d seen them, begging with a Styrofoam cup, unwashed, and smelly, I’d act more humane toward them.







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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Life, Maturation, Perspectives, Social Awareness, The Observer Effect, Values, Wake Up Calls

At the Crossroads Between Marriage & Career…

This, is MOSTLY happening, in lives of W-O-M-E-N, because more often than not, we’re FORCED to C-H-O-O-S-E!!!

At the crossroads between marriage and career, well, let’s see what EACH side has to offer, then, we’ll be able to make that “well-rounded” decision then, shouldn’t we???  On the one hand, there’s the FINANCIAL stability (for the career), along with achievements for climbing that corporate ladder too, but, the downside to that is being a woman, and being that high UP, among the TOP execs, you’d become “public enemy” number O-N-E, to all your coworkers’ wives (1@ a time, you LOSERS!!!), and so, you’d be better off, quit, and start staying at home, sitting, on top of them EGGS, that are NOWHERE near hatching Y-E-T.

At the crossroads between marriage and career, I’d totally go WITH (but I no longer needed to C-H-O-O-S-E, yay me!!!) career, after all, I have CONTROL (as I’m still a C-O-N-T-R-O-L F-R-E-A-K here!!!) over what goes ON, while in a marriage, it’s NOT as predictable, and not as good as a career, because careers are based off of your work performances (and SUCKING up, but NOT in my “line of work”!!!), and, if you keep your heads down, and work hard, then, eventually (I did say!!!), that hard-to-come-by promotion will become Y-O-U-R-S to keep.  However, in a marriage, hard work doesn’t necessarily yield great return, after all, about HALF (I’m thinkin’…or maybe, it’s MORE than that, who knows???) marriages fail, and, marriage is still THAT “institution” (and why would ANYBODY check her/himself into such an “institution”???  Oh yeah, because one is INSANE!!!), that’s become NO longer S-A-C-R-E-D!!!

At crossroads between marriage and career, do we need to flip a coin, and leave EVERYTHING UP to F-A-T-E?  HECK NO, that way, you would NOT be taking responsibilities for the choices you made in your lives, and when life doesn’t go your ways, you can blame it on SOMEONE else, which, is totally B-A-D…


Filed under Decision-Making, Expectations, Family Matters, Hindsight, Marriages, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Values