Tag Archives: Child-rearing Practices

The Taiwan Fund for Children & Families: the Nurseries Still Use Physical Measures to Discipline Young Children

Would you leave your young in the hands of these individuals???  I wouldn’t think so!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

It’s great pressure to care for the younger children, the Taiwan Fund for Children & Families asked for the opinions of those child care workers who are involved in taking care of children from ages zero to six, and found, that nearly eighty-four percent would start to get loud when they met a difficulty in taking care of the children, fifty-seven percent would spank the children on the bottoms or the palms, thirty-one percent would pull on the children hard.

This, is a VERY shocking statistic, isn’t it?  And yet, because ALL you parents work, to make your ends meet, so, there’s NO way that ANY of you out there can possibly stay at home, and look after your young, and, you’d left your young, in danger…

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Filed under Abuse, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Exposed, Child Development/Education of Children, Cost of Living, Moral Responsibilities, Social Issues, Socialization

The Actress, Melody Never Used Baby Tones Or Stacking Words When She Talk to Her Kids

This, is how a famous person does it, teach and train, and interact with her young, that is, translated…

The actress, Melody who was raised in the U.S., but surprisingly, she’d grown up, under her parents’ traditional Chinese education ways.  “When we were younger, before my father sat on the dinner tables, we were not to start eating, as the adults entered the door, all the children must stand up, everybody thought, that I’m an ABC, that I wouldn’t pay attention to the traditional Chinese values of respecting one’s elders, actually, my parents placed great emphasis on cultural behaviors, and they’d paid strict attention to our manners too.”, and this had caused her to prefer living in Taiwan, although she was born and raised in the U.S.

Couldn’t Swallow it Down, the Parents and Children Started Having Frictions

Melody’s parents were first generation immigrants to the U.S., they’d had a hard life, and they’d often become too busy, that they didn’t have the time to communicate with their kids, and had educated Melody using Chinese ways, which made Melody, who was raised in the American cultures having adjustment issues, and they’d had disagreements, “in my teenage years, I’d locked myself up in my room, not talking to my parents, and my mom believed, that the more we’d rebelled, the tighter she must keep control on me, which made me run even farther away from them, it wasn’t until I passed through my puberty, did I become closer to my parents again.”

Melody told, that as a mother, she’d gotten better understanding of where her parents came from, but she’d also adjusted her own ways of educating her two daughters, “I’d told my two daughters a lot of things, encouraged them to speak up, and the parents MUST observe, to see when they can be more leisurely in interacting with their own offspring.”

Her parents gave Melody two wisdoms of life, one, allowing things in life to just flow, to not care about winning or losing too much, “I’d used to think, if you don’t take winning and losing too seriously, how can you be successful?  But with the coming of age, I’d learned, that hard work is a must, but, not to get trapped, if you’d worked hard for something and still can’t get it, you must learn to ‘let it go’.”  Her father taught her to understand how to handle the interactions between her and her friends, Melody smiled and told, that she felt her parents’ words were too broad from before, “and now, I’m taking their advice, whatever you do, you must be smooth, see everything in all the possible angles, that way, you will be successful.”

Having Set Messages, Feeling Very Secure

Melody’s two daughters are three and four years old, but they’d spoken, in a clear and precise manner, and, it’s all in part to her, NOT using baby tones with her children.  She’d believed, that the younger the kids, the more systematic the messages need to be, so the kids can feel secure, “the parents must be decisive, I don’t give them materialistic things to keep them happy, so, when they’d gone to the toy shops, they wouldn’t bug me about buying them toys; and, after they are full at the tables, they’d get off, and, I don’t give them any snacks, and, when my children goes hungry, then, they’d learned, that they need to eat their proper meals tomorrow.”  Melody pays close attention to her kids’ ability to create, the game her kids played the most often is drawing pictures, the youngest daughter only needed a pair of children’s scissors, a piece of useless ad page, and, she can keep herself entertained for an hour, “the only toy I get for them is Lego, after they got bored from playing, I’d put the blocks up, and after awhile, I’d taken them out again, and, they’d felt that it was something new, if I gave them too many toys, they’ll end up, not cherishing what they have enough.”

Insistence on Communication, Teaching the Right Attitudes When the Kids are Still Young

Melody insisted on communication, and, in the Chinese New Year’s, she’d gotten the sweet fruits of her hard labor, the whole family traveled to Thailand, she and her daughters communicated, that they are not bringing the strollers along, that they must walk on their own, “I’d told them, that if they get tired, then, we can rest, but, mommy will not carry them, and, my youngest actually managed the entire way too”, Melody believed, that a lot of parents believed that the children are too young, and couldn’t understand, but, you can actually communicate with a child, “children have amazing capabilities to understand things, and, you must teach them the correct attitudes from when they were younger, I’d used Chinese AND English interchangeably at home, and, the children are really good learners, and are used to listening to both languages.”

And so, this, is how ways of education gets passed down, the woman here has a father who’s an authoritarian type parent, and, because she’d had difficulties, getting along with her father in her earlier years, and so, now she has her own, she did NOT treat her own kids the way her father educated her, instead, she took a more open method, and, the kids growing up under this way of teaching will become better adapted indeed!

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Child Development/Education of Children, Choices, Education, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

My Mother-in-Law Nags Constantly, the Growth of a Woman

Let’s see how she copes, translated…

One night, my mother-in-law started nagging my husband and I, on how when we were supposed to be watching the children, one of us read books and watch television (me), and the other just slide on his cell phone (my husband), that neither one of us would play with our kids.

After my husband heard, it’s like my mother-in-law’s words didn’t touch him at all, but, I’d felt awful about it, right then and there, although I’d pretended to let her words fade like the winds, without any reactions, but, late in the nights, I’d started crying in my own room.

I’d felt bad, because my mother-in-law’s perceptions aren’t true, although I’d enjoyed reading, but, I’d always waited until my baby’s asleep, then, I’d quietly read beside him; and, when I’d watched television, it was because I was taking care of my baby, I’d gotten stuck at home, felt that I’d derailed from the world outside, that, was why I’d turned on the televisions, to see what interesting matters are happening around the world.

Since I had my child, I’d filed for maternity leave, and, most of the time I’d spent around my child, and, my mother-in-law’s words made me feel like all of my hard work was overlooked, naturally, I’d felt sad, and, I’d stopped turning on the television as often as I would.

And yet, after I’d turned off the televisions, I’d realized, that my relationship with my child seemed to have become closer.  Thinking it through, perhaps, when I was watching television and taking care of my child at the same time, my attention was divided, and I’d ignored my child, and that, was when I’d understood that my mother-in-law’s words were not to blame me, she’d just hoped that I could interact more with my child, to focus on one thing at a time.

Originally felt taken, now, I’m grateful toward my mother-in-law, had she not reminded me and my husband, don’t know how much time we would’ve wasted in not spending to accompanying our child as he grows.

And so here, the mother-in-law’s words are beneficial, of course, the woman had to bear through it, she had to experience it all on her own, to know, the values behind her mother-in-law’s words, like from the beginning, how she’d felt that her mother-in-law was picking on her, and after she’d grown, she’d realized, that her mother-in-law was right.

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Filed under Communications, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Socialization, Values, Wake Up Calls

Help Put an Unknown Strangers Through School

It’s all, out of the goodness, the kindness of my heart, or, is it now???

Help put unknown strangers through school, because I feel the need, to overcompensate, for not being there, when my offspring were getting raised up, because I had to work, after all, money still doesn’t grow on TREES, does it?  Naturally N-O-T!!!

And so, when I’d made a lot of money, I’d started, making UP for not being there for my kids when they were younger, but, they’re all, all grown up now, and so, I’d turned my “assistance”, in another direction, started, helping put those strangers’ children who are not well-to-do, who are from poverty stricken regions, through school.

Help put unknown strangers through school, it’d gained me the reputation of being someone who’s generous, who’s too kind, who tries to help someone in need, but, in truth and reality, I’m only, merely, trying to fill up that void inside of me, from missing out on my own offspring’s coming-of-age processes…

So, IS, helping to put unknown strangers through school, an act of kindness from you in this case???  Of course N-O-T, and, yeah, maybe those strangers’ children will be grateful, and call you “daddy”, but because you’d missed out on your own children’s growth processes, they are now, not dealing with you, and it still wouldn’t be because they were UNGRATEFUL for you for SHOVING those hundred U.S. dollars at a time UP their FUCKED up asses!

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Excuses, Expectations, Helping Behaviors, Lending a Helping Hand, Messed Up Values, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization, Stupidity

The Young Children Slept Together in the Same Bed, the Five-Year-Old Ended Up Crushing His One-Year-Old Sister to Death

So this time, the “culprit” is the older brother instead of the father, hello, hello, hello???  Are you parents STUPID?  Or are you just, PLAIN R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D here!!!  Translated…

A young girl of just one-and-a-half year old early yesterday morn, was suffocated to death by her five-year-old older brother as he flipped over in his sleep, as the mother returned to check on the kids, she’d found that her young daughter had stopped breathing or a heartbeat, couldn’t save her using CPR, and she feared that it would affect the mental developments of her son, the family still hadn’t told the older boy the news of his baby sister’s death.

The family started crying hard at the Changgang Hospital in Linkou yesterday, the child’s paternal grandfather said, “She’s gone now, and all we want to do, is to protect this only child that’s left behind.”

The Yeh’s have a business together, has a son and a daughter.  A little past the midnight hours last night, the baby girl woke up and started crying for her mom, Yeh rocked her to sleep, and temporarily placed the child onto the bed of her son who’s sound asleep, and she went to take a bath, then watched television in the living room with her husband.

At around a little past two, the mother planned to carry the daughter back into her crib, that, was when she’d discovered that the child had gone limp and her lips and limbs had become purple, that she wasn’t breathing, and had no heart rate, Yeh quickly brought the young daughter to the living room, and performed CPR on her, but, as the ambulance rushed her to the hospital, she still died.

Yeh’s mother told the police, that back then, the son was lying on his back, on top of the young girl, and she’d suspected that he must’ve flipped over and got on top of his younger sister, causing her to suffocate.

After the coroners examined the child’s corpse, they’d determined the cause of death as an accident, the mother was crying, she was heartbroken, but she didn’t want her son to bear the burdens of killing her baby sister, and she has no intentions of telling him how his younger sister died.

The girl’s paternal grandfather said, “She’s already gone, we don’t want to cause any more distress in his young life.”

The CEO of the Jing-Juan Child Safety Foundation, Lin said, that there are rarely any case where a child had caused another child to suffocate to death, mostly, the cases composed of adults, crushing their young, she’d recommended that families with young children MUST have separate beds, and children who are under one couldn’t control their bodies and that the parents should check on them every twenty minutes, and for children two and under, check on them at thirty-minute intervals.

And so, this, is still due to the negligence of the parents, the mother didn’t have the sense of bring her daughter into her crib, she thought her kids were both sound asleep and nothing can possibly happen, and, it’s her carelessness that’s caused her own daughter’s death!

 

 

 

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Filed under Awareness, Carelessness of Adults, Cost of Living, Death by Negligence, Lives Lost, Loss, Negligence, News Stories, Stupidity, Tragedies in the World, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Spare the Rod Spoil the Child, Children’s Welfare Organization Advocated: Don’t Use Violence

Here’s the NEWEST research results: 45% interviewed believed that physical punishments are necessary, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Do you physically discipline your children?  Based off of the statistics results from surveys conducted by the Child Welfare Foundation, even though, there are 83% of the public that believed that hitting children will NOT get the desired results, but there were 45% interviewed who believed that hitting children is something that must happen in the education of children, and twenty percent admitted openly that they’d physically disciplined their young.

The Sanitations Department also found in its research, that there are close to 6,000 children who were put into protective custody, there are over thirty-two children who were abused on a daily basis.

The CEO of the Child Welfare Foundation, Chen said, “Not sparing the rod” seemed to be a common mindset which parents took to educate their young, but, on the one hand, the parents felt that physically hitting their young wouldn’t achieve anything, but, they’d believed that it’s a needed procedure of discipline.

She said, in recent years, the primary reason for childhood abuse is “the lack of parenting sense”, take for example, the first half of this year, there are over seventy-percent who showed absolutely NO sense in education of young children, compared to the second: problems in marriage, it’s over FORTY percent higher, clearly, a TON of parents who abused children didn’t know how to educate.

The studies also showed, that the public believed that children in elementary schools and younger would need to be physically disciplined.  Li-Ru Chen said, that the younger the kids, the more fragile they are, and, hitting and scolding would get out of control and hurt the children.

As for why we hit kids?  The survey results showed, that the most happened when children were engaged in dangerous behaviors, and the second was lying, stealing, not listening to the parents, and talking back, etc., etc., etc.  The Child Welfare Foundation said, that based off of experts, hitting children will only help the kids remember that they were hit by their parents, and they wouldn’t know what they did wrong, or what behaviors are considered dangerous.

For this, the Child Welfare Foundation set for the “Orange Ribbon Child Protections Activities”, and advocated “the Three Steps to Educating Children without Trouble” (Don’t hit, don’t use verbal insults, and take deep breaths for thirty seconds), as its primary methods, said that taking care of children is NO easy task, that a TON of patience and wisdom are needed, that using violence will only damage the child, and affect them later on in life.

And so, you should NOT raise your voices to your kids, even IF they’re behaving very bad, you should instead, go to your “corner” (like in time out???), and cool off, then, you go and talk to your kid calmly, but, which parents can hold their horses, when they see their own kid, wreaking havoc?  That’s still NONE, unless you’re someone with an extremely HIGH E.Q.

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Issues of the Society, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Social Awareness, Socialization, Values

Looking at One Another, a Treasure Map of Memories

Translated…

I’m luckier than my mother, because I’d worked and made adjustments to myself, after work, I was more than willing to listen to my son, rant about his day at school…

The steps of time had just gone past the last part of May, the weather in Michigan had just gotten rid of the coldness of spring altogether, and the weather started warming back up, the skies started turning bluer, and the land finally got rid of the layers of snow on top of it, like a woman, taking off her makeup, showing her soft true skin.  The concrete in the suburbs like the lines of a chessboard, crossed at the set places; the oncoming traffic made different endings as they’d gone through the passages of the board.

He’d Liked to March to the Beats of His Own Drums

I’d dodged the traffic, and drove along the winding passages that circled around the hills, and the small lake, in the end, my double-door Buick found its way to my son’s elementary school parking lot.

Maybe because of how quiet it was, I saw the scenes from before when I counseled high school students: using English and Chinese, with great passion, I’d lectured on the tenth grade novel of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” trying to get the immigrated students quickly into the background of the story—the south decades ago, in Alabama, where the issues of prejudice and racism is most apparent, a white attorney who symbolized morality, faced up to the society’s reprimands, and still defended his black client………

As the bell started ringing, the students of various heights ran from the doors, most are white, and, the Asians are minorities, I saw my son, with a black head of hair from ways in, with his lunch box, his workout cap, strolled along, behind the crowd.  He didn’t like rushing to squeeze into the busses, like how he doesn’t go after the basketball in the courts, or anything for that matter, he’d like it more, to march to the beats of his own drums; looking at the other American children who’d hollered, and rushed onboard their separate busses.  Not long thereafter, the busses, with all the noises, sped off into the distance.

I knew that my son who’s shy and sensitive must hide out in my sedan for so many more years, before he finally made his adaptations to the outside world.

I drove the car into the garage, took up my son’s chubby hands, passed through the living room, entered the bright kitchen, pulled back the curtains, the light expanded to the lamps outside, the stones, and the trees in the yard, and my yard showed of how I missed my home.

Trapped Between Family and the Self

When the ins and outs of life, and taking care of my son no longer took up my entire life, the once grueling household chores that took up too much of my time had a hint of artistry to them, and became more elegant.  At which time, I’d recalled what my mother said when she’d had heart burns, “My life is ruined because of you runts,” and as she spoke, her displeasures overflowed, and it would not end.

When I was in elementary school, I’d usually gone up as representative of the school, to compete in speeches, and my school teacher would often looked at my wrinkled up uniform, and asked Ying who sat next to me, to switch her shirt with me.  Ying’s uniform was soaked and ironed, her skirts are folded, and, it’d wreaked of the scent of how she loved, and how I wasn’t.

My mother’s needlelike emotions had managed to scraped my young mind; until I’d finished my master’s program, for the sake of my son, I’d stayed at home for five years, I’d understood, firsthand, how my mother felt, and how she’d longed to read books and write poetry and the sadness and sorrows of how she couldn’t that stemmed from that.  I’m so sad, that in her entire life, she couldn’t manage to get out of the kitchens.

I’m way luckier than my mother, because I worked away from home, I was able to get adjustments for my emotions, and when I’d returned home, I’d listened to my son, ranted on about his day at school willingly.  I’d focused my attention on his words, and softened my gaze, to record everything about my son, his voice, his gaze, along with everything else.

The honeysuckle setting sun was spread all over my yard now, move a bit in, through the long windows, the sun had projected the instance of me, gazing into my son’s eyes onto the walls temporarily.

When I was younger, I’d often longed for being able to, look in the eyes of a gentle mother, like how we were like two peas in a pod, with so much connectedness between us.

But you never had that, and now, you’re doing that to your son, and this, is quite normal, for parents to overcompensate what they lacked in their own childhoods, and give it to their offspring, and in this particular case, the mother did well, and there are many cases where this kind of overcompensation backfired, like in my own case.

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life