Tag Archives: After the Kids Grow Up

Using Romance and Reading to Help Me Pass the Empty Nest, the Growth of a Woman

This is how someone occupies her time, coping, with her empty nest, translated…

In October, my eldest son went into the service, following in the footsteps of his older sibling, my youngest also went up north to college.

Being a full-time mom for over twenty-years, I’d raised my sons up on my own, the most satisfaction I got is nothing more than to see them all grown up.  The details of their coming-of-age, their childish talks, their naughty behaviors, they’d filled up my every day.

Six, seven years ago, I’d watched my eldest with his backpack, I shockingly realized, that this once-in-my-arms child is now, al lot taller than I am now.  Counted the days, this autumn, three of my babies will fly the nest, and the originally rowdy house, will become, all of a sudden, quieted.

My husband had always been busy at work, and my life circled around my children, after they leave home, I will feel awful that’s for certain.  Plus, I’d heard of how a LOT of the full-time mothers meeting up with menopause and their empty nests, and how lost they’d felt, anxious and depressed too.  In order to prevent this predicament for myself, I’d prepared ahead of times, hoping that I can have a happy, a fulfilled empty nest.

Back then, I’d started learning from my second son, how to use the computers, and, after I’d learned how to use the computers, I’d started searching for information on continuing education, whether it be the government funded or private sectors, the talent classes, I’m interested in learning more about, then, slowly, I sorted through and found the ones that interested me the most.

After a couple of years of trying things out, English, Er-Hu, bonsai cultivating, and drawing became the focus of my life, luckily, I’d gotten the support of my husband, and returned to school once more.  And so, I’d transferred from busying with the kids, to finding out what I’m best at doing.  As the empty nest came, looking at the three empty beds my kids used to sleep in every single night, I couldn’t help, but feel that strong sense of loss, and still, taking up these new hobbies, learning new skills, had made my sense of loss seemed easier to handle.

Still recalled the night before my second child was to head off to college, he’d said to me, “Mom, you must live well, that way, I wouldn’t have any worries.”

I’d smiled and told him, “Mom will be fine!” and I did just that, I’d worked hard, living my days to the fullest, watched for my own health, so my children can focus on their studies, with NO worries about home.

At the end of August as my second child was about to return back to school, he’d told me, “Mom, you must get along well with dad, that way, our minds can be at ease”.  I laughed, “okay, I know, mom will work hard for your sakes.”

“Don’t do it for us, for yourselves!”, my son said to us, seriously.

I reassured him, “Okay, we will, keep on being in love”.  And so, I must go out on dates, and be in love with my husband too, in my empty nest, seems like I won’t have ANY time to worry at all then!

And so, this, is how women manage, to fill up their times, and sure, they’d still feel that sense of loss, as the children grow up, and leave the nest, but, we’d eventually be able to find things that can help us occupy the time.

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Filed under Empty Nest, Expectations, Letting Go, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life