After the cancer was in remission for awhile, and, it’d come back again, translated…
This day, is the follow-up appointment of my chemotherapy. While I’d waited, I was getting really bored, and I’d already, finished the book I took with me to the hospital, and so, I’d started, sliding on my cell.
“Ma’am, are you also here for cancer treatments?”, I’d heard a middle aged man sitting next to me asked, I’d smiled and nodded to him. And, it seemed that he’d found someone, to pour his heart out to, he’d told me, that he’d taken his mother to the doctors every single week, his mother had cancer in her pancreas, the tumor was about 3.5 centimeters in size, and had already metastasized, and because his mother was in her eighties, the doctors didn’t approve her for the operations, and the target medications are not as effective either, so, they’d treated the cancer passively. The elderly woman seemed to know a little bit about her conditions, it’s just that being her son, he felt very awful, and he’d asked me, how I was able to cope with my cancer with this sense of comfort and optimism?
I’d told him, it’s been five years since I first got diagnosed, and this time, it had come back again, but because I feel NO fears toward death, that, was how I was able to deal with it so positively, and I’d practiced positive thinking regularly: the heavens made me get diagnosed with cancer, not for the sake of punishing me, but wanted me to learn to love and treat myself well. After I was diagnosed with cancer, I’d changed my bad eating habits, and the bad lifestyle I’d taken up from before, and, I’d stopped pursuing perfection endlessly.
I’d told him, “Compared to the traffic accidents, cancer is a better way to go, it’d allowed us to make arrangements ahead of times. If there are only a limited number of days left, while you can still move around, go out to see the world, and eat whatever you wish. Why not ask your elder if there are unfinished businesses that she’d wanted to achieve or accomplish? Including apologizing for whatever, showing gratitude toward someone, perhaps, along with saying farewell to the ones she loved.”
I’d heard the nurses called out my number now, before I’d entered the doctor’s office, I’d told the man, “Illness is like the sun, it will shine on us all equally. And, if we can’t avoid death completely, then, we should, smile on every single day, one can live a happy AND fulfilled life, with cancer too.”
And so, this, is how the person sees cancer right now, but, she must’ve gone through ALL the phases of loss, the denials, the bargaining, etc., etc., etc., and this time, it’s a second time around, and so, she’d had the previous experiences of being treated, and, she’d gained a positive view toward being diagnosed with cancer, and, she shares her experience, with someone who is troubled by the same things she once was, in hopes, that it can help this man, see the light too.