Tag Archives: Adjustments Made

The Sudden Onset of the Empty Nest

The “inner workings” of a housewife, translated…

I’m an ordinary housewife, in the past, the focus of my life had been on my three babies, but since last summer when my youngest daughter became a foreign exchange student to the Eastern coast of the United States, and at the start of the year, my son went on a business trip to western U.S., and my eldest daughter took the government exams and started working away from where I lived, I’d gotten a lot of spare time on my hands.

Without the three noisy sparrows fighting now, it seemed, that the quality of my life is on the decline.  And now, on the dinner tables, it’s just me, and my retired husband, staring at each other in the silence.  I originally thought, that my children had gone off to college close to home, that when they’d just entered into the working world, they can find work closer to home too, I didn’t expect my empty nest to hit me so suddenly.

At first, the two of us expected and expected, waiting for the time when our kids had agreed upon as the time to webcam with us.  I felt, that my life has no meaning, that it was no fun, and I feel that sense of loss.

But gladly for my husband’s encouragements, he’d taken me out hiking a lot, being closer to nature, and we’d gone to the temples at the places we’d arrived to to ask for blessings and offer the incenses, hoping that the gods will look after our young.

And, my neighbor was kind and generous enough, to teach me quilting, along with beads too.  I’d started from the basics, threading of a needle.  And every time when I’d shown off a finished piece to my children, their look of awe had given me a TON of zest, and I’d found my motivation slowly from all the activities I’m now involved in; and I’d played games such as Sudoku, to help myself in not aging as fast too.

Slowly, I’m no longer stressed out, I look forward to a brand new tomorrow every single day.  We are the owners of our own lives, and, any kind of a change can mean a brand new beginning, don’t keep yourselves tied up.  I believe, that NOT only the younger generations, we, the elders, can also have a colorful life too.

And so, this woman filled up her empty nest with a TON of hobbies, and that, is the right way to do it, after all, your lives had circled around the kids, the family, and now, the kids are all grown, and you start to feel that you’re not needed, and thus, you will be somewhat depressed, but, if you’d kept up with hobbies, then, those things you’d kept up with can help occupy your mind and your time too.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Empty Nest, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Letting Go, Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Trends

The Twists & Turns of One’s Life

A story on marriage, happening in the N-O-W, translated…

There was a colleague of mine who’d gone to a certain community to visit a friend, accidentally discovered, that the security guard for the community was an ex-colleague, Shuan’s husband.  Shuan and her husband immigrated to the U.S., heard that they’d had a business going there, don’t know when they’d returned back to Taiwan, and her husband worked as a security guard.  And, in order to avoid the feeling of uneasiness, so, my colleague didn’t say “hi” to Shuan’s husband back then.

After trying hard to re-establish the connection, I’d found Shuan, and learned, that she’d been back here for over a year’s time now.  Shuan told me, that back then, her husband who worked at a huge corporation, because of the pressures from work, and he faces getting laid off too, and, his friend went to the States to start off a business, and the husband decided to go with his friend there, because he had some money saved up.

Without knowing, that upon arriving in the States, the financial breakdown hit the entire world, Shuan’s husband also couldn’t dodge the consequences of it, and, after a while, he couldn’t handle it at all, and, because he couldn’t find a fitting job, they’d returned back to Taiwan, and back then, her husband was already fifty years old, and, it was hard, for him to find a good job here too, and so, in the end, he’d settled, working as a security guard for the community he lives in.

From the high up officials of a company to a security guard, there’s a HUGE difference in status, and, for a short while, Shuan’s husband couldn’t adapt to this difference in the positions, and would often get depressed.  And still there are a TON of wonderful residents in the community that’d shown him kindness, and would bring him cooked items and fruits, and, the kids would call him uncle, it’d not only made Shuan’s husband’s heart warmed up, it’d also melted his pride too, and slowly, he’d opened back up, and started to enjoy his work.

Shuan said, even though the work as a security guard was long, but he didn’t have to face the stresses of managing others as a manager or a boss, and what’s more importantly, he didn’t need to sit for long hours at the office, or to drink for business either.  And, because his schedule became more normal, and he’d gotten the time to exercise, now, her husband is healthier than he was.

Shuan had also reached the conclusion: that even though life doesn’t always go your way, and, there’s no higher or lower status of jobs, it all relies on how one sees oneself, she was glad, to find her husband, who’s NO longer lost.

And so, you can see, from this, how the mindset of the man changed, because he used to be a hot shot, and now, he’s a security guard, and that, is hard, for anybody to adapt, and yet, because the man was able to see the UP side of his new job, that, was what helped him adapt well now.

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Changing Tracks, Lessons, Life, Maturation, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence