Tag Archives: a Power Struggle

The Excuse for Her Husband’s Emotional Affair

A Q&A, translated…

Q: a Wife in pain wrote to inquire…

Been married for twenty years, and she’d shockingly discovered that her husband was extremely close with a female golf buddy, even though, she didn’t catch them in the act, but, on Facebook and on LINE, the husband and the female golf friend spoke of love often.  And the husband firmly believed, that “emotional affairs” doesn’t do any damages to the marriage, not only did he keep in contact with her, but at work, they’d gone out with one another too.

The husband, in order to not get spied on by his wife, he’d double coded his accounts, and, the sexually-illicit messages, after they’re transmitted, he’d deleted them one by one.  The wife’s nagging didn’t stop him, and she couldn’t know how things are going with her husband and his affair; for the sake of the children, she could only tolerate his lying and his inability for self-control.  She, who’s in pain, wanted to know, is there a better way she can handle this matter? A My Opinion

The woman found out her husband’s closeness with that female golf buddy was when her husband picked up a call from her, and used a very gentle tone of voice that she’s not even heard him use, she’d checked her husband’s cell, and discovered, that he’d been in contact with his girlfriend a lot.  Other than golfing together, they’d gone on movie dates, shopping trips, but he doesn’t use a credit card, and he doesn’t take home the receipts either.  They’d been in contact for four months now, and are getting closer to one another.

The husband, after getting found out, they’d had a huge fight, the husband used the attitude of, “I’m not leaving any traces of my bad behaviors, what can you do about it?”  And the wife, in order to keep her marriage, she couldn’t do anything about her lying-to-her-face but going-behind-her-back husband.

This, is one of the scariest scenarios in a marriage, one side used “spiritual connection” to find a friend of the opposite sex, and his behaviors are NOT limited by their marriage, he got to enjoy all the passions, all the loves that the affair brings to him, this, is actually, a very selfish behavior.

I believe, that spiritual affair is merely a stage, a man and a woman attracted to one another, would go out on dates often, and, it’s hard to determine, when the line of “spiritual” will be breached.  In this situation, the one who’s having the affair is in control of her/his own behaviors, there’s little to nothing that the spouse can do, you must prepare for the worst, and, sometimes, you might gain the strength for a confrontation that way.  If you’d allowed your husband to think, “my wife’s going to put up with my affairs no matter what”, then, what does he have to worry about?  Once a man goes bad, he IS bad, think, what can you use, to restrain him?

Well, this, is a situation that married ladies out there may face, because your husband is WEAK (aren’t they all!!!), and, the only reason why they’d let us find out about their affairs is because they’re getting B-O-R-E-D, or, we’re too observant, either way, we’re the ones, acting, and that, is exactly what they’re counting on, and, if you fall for that, then, you still hadn’t wised UP yet, and, you can’t put up with your husbands’ (1 @ a time) affairs, what CAN you do?  Absolutely N-O-T-H-I-N-G, because we women take our wedding vows MORE seriously than they all do, and we’re more bound by moral restraints than they ever will be, but, we can always FILE for divorce, and then, SUE their asses off, yeah, that, is what we can do, but NOT in this case, because the woman still wants her husband back, and I can’t understand W-H-Y, maybe because I’m still never married…


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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Letting Go, Life, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Obstacles in a Relationship, Rationalization, Spoiled Rotten, Translated Work