My Boyfriend Wanted to Accompany His Spare Who Was Diagnosed with Cancer, for the Rest of Her Life

Troubles in love here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. Y wrote…

Ms. Y accidentally found out, that her boyfriend had a spare who was in the terminal stage of cancer, who still treated him real well.  Y confronted her boyfriend, and he’d admitted, that it was originally, just for fun with her, and now, he’d wanted to be a good guy, to accompany beside her, to when she finishes her chemotherapy treatments, and when she’s more stabilized, asked Y to give him more time.  Y didn’t know, if her boyfriend is going to uphold his promise?  Could he manage to, really walk away from her?  She’s now, very confused.

A My Advice

It doesn’t matter who the “spare” is, the truth is that the boyfriend cheated on Y.  Whether it was just for fun, or for real, it’s a question that will come later on, the most important being: the boyfriend HAD cheated on her, and that, IS a FACT.

Then, let’s take a look at what’s happening to the spare.  For the terminal cancer patients, first, they’re looking at lengthening her life for five years; and, anybody could feel pity and compassion to an “opponent” under the conditions.  Whether it’s because the boyfriend is really falling for the spare, or that he felt there to be a moral obligation to be with her, from a rational standpoint, the boyfriend HAD been moved.

After the chemo, the cancer patient has a long way to recovery, and, there might be a miracle too (any normal person would want her to get better, right?), and it may also go the other way.  In other words, Y shouldn’t hope, that the “competition” just dies off quickly (but the truth is that of the two ladies, one must be out of the game, so, it’s possible for a couple to be, Y must feel that sense of guilt, for wanting the “spare” to be eliminated quickly); but from a practical side, Y may not want the other woman to get better (this may be a bit hypocritical), then, what is Y to do?  The worst case scenario is by falling into this HUGE mess that her boyfriend had created for her.

If the spare got better, then, wouldn’t Y have waited dumbly, and wasted a lot of her life away?  If the spare died, then, it would still be hard, for a person who’s alive, to compete with someone who’s dead.  In the man’s mind, he will remember the “spare wheel’s” better days (may feel somewhat sorry too), then, in their daily routines, he would naturally start picking at her.

Plus, men are easily cheating, entirely WITHOUT a CONSCIENCE person, can you believe his lies?

Of course, you can’t, believe in his lies, but, part of you is desperate, to believe, that the reason why he’d stayed close to his spare, because she was diagnosed with cancer, is from the goodness of his heart, yeah right!  It’s just another way a man makes cheating LEGAL is all, so, WAKE up, lady, and DUMP HIS sorry ASS already!

When the Child is Forced to Choose~~~the Divorce of the Parents

It’s still a LOSE-LOSE for the kid here!!!  Translated…

My daughter who’d just gone to Chiayi to university about a month ago, came home via the high speed trains to Taipei.  The reason was not because she missed home, but because the parents of her best friend from high school were getting divorced.

She worried that her friend might get depressed and sad, she’d made the trip especially, wanted to give her friend a warm shoulder and some emotional supports.

This girlfriend of my daughter’s, I’d heard a very long time from my daughter, telling me about her household.  She is a very well-behaved, kind and gentle girl, because she couldn’t get good grades, her parents didn’t love her like her other siblings.  She has an older sister, who’s a gifted and talented student, all the way in her schooling career, she’d ranked at the top of her class, it’d made her parents proud; and, she has a gifted and talented younger brother, who’d gotten into his first choice of high school, Chien-Guo All Boys’ High School.

Only she, because she didn’t know how to study, her parents neglected her.  Since she was very young, she’d learned to take care of herself, in high school, she’d worked through her winter break and summer vacation, to help pay for her own tuition.  She loved physical activities, shared the same interests as my daughter, after she got into a northern phys ed university, swimming was her strong suit, and because of swimming, she’d become best friends with my daughter.

In the summer of my daughter’s last year in high school, she’d started part-timing, worked in the same store as her friend, and would often receive assistance from her, they’d become even more closer to one another, to the point that they’d tell one another everything.

My daughter said, when she picked up the call from her classmate, she couldn’t speak a word, and my daughter felt bad for her sake, fearing, that her friend would feel bad, because of her parents’ divorce, and, she didn’t have anybody she could talk to, that, was why my daughter rushed back home to be her support.

“MY parents who’d not gotten along at all recently had still chosen to divorce, the father moved out, the house was left to the mother, even though, I loved them both, but in the end, I was still, forced to choose who I wanted to live with.  Both my parents are hard-headed, neither one of them wanted to let the other get the best, so, it’s only a matter of time they ended up divorced.”  My daughter told me what her good friend told her.

This understanding, well-behaving child, was forced to choose between the parents, because the parents divorced, it is really hard for her!

And so, the child still paid, for the parents’ mistakes, and, on top of that, this young woman IS the middle child, which makes it even HARDER for her to cope, because regularly, she was compared to her older and younger siblings, and now, her parents got divorced, and she’s still being forced to choose who she wanted to live with, it’s real hard on her all right.