Tag Archives: a Child Conceived as a “Mistake”

I See All My Mistakes When I Look at You

I see you, and I feel disgusted, I see ALL my mistakes, the things I never had the chance of becoming, those wishes that fell out of the skies, when I look at you.  I see all my mistakes when I look at you, and I don’t know why.  You are from me, and I should love you, but I just can’t bring myself to do so, for some unknown reasons…

I see all my mistakes when I look at you, which, is why, I can’t even LOOK at you anymore, it is NOT your fault, it’s just the insurmountable pain that you reminded me of, about me, when I’d looked at you.  I see all my mistakes when I look at you, how can this be?  You were, a product of my love for someone who’s already gone (not dead, of course!!!), and now, love, is NO longer “around”, and so, the love, the warmth, along with all things wonderful and beautiful becomes negative………

I see ALL my mistakes when I look at you, I know that I need to love you, but I just can’t bring myself to, you are my daughter, and yet, you’re NOT “legal”, your father was a married man, and now, he’d left me, with the consequences of our actions: Y-O-U, and so, how can I love you???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Because of Love, Being Alone, Carelessness of Adults, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Family Dynamics, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Kids Raising Kids, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Messed Up Values, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Rationalization, Scapegoating