Category Archives: Turning One’s Life Around

Spinning

Still in the PTSD cycle here, but surely, getting closer to healing every single day…

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Healing Process, Life, Turning One's Life Around, Vicious Cycle

Worried that the Reformed Inmate Who’d Lost Contact with Him Returns to Their Old Ways, He’d Notified the Police to Arrest Him

Here, is a man who REALLY, TRULY cared, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Chen, who was a reformed man who works as an executive of a security guard company, learned that his subordinate, Ling, who’d worked hard after his release from prison five years ago, he’d taken the extra care and concern on him, he’d lent out his motorcycle, and his residence to the other man, but, all of a sudden, Ling cut off contact with him, didn’t even return the motorcycle back to him.  Chen originally wanted to forget it, but, six months later, he’d received a ticket, he’d worried, that Ling may have returned to the bad ways, decided to notify the police, to force him out.

Last month on the twenty-sixth, Ling (age 29) got a call from the police, and he’d automatically returned the motorcycle back to Chen (age 40) who’d helped him, and showed remorse and regret; he said, that he’d worked odds and ends, and couldn’t afford a prepaid cell phone card, so that, was why he couldn’t call Chen back.  Chen saw how his “younger buddy” is still working hard, and told the police, “I’ll drop the charges”, but the police still booked Ling on taking things that don’t belong to him.

The police investigated and found, that Ling was a driver for a scam ring five years ago, he got sent to prison for four months; after he was released, he’d found his own way, but he didn’t have a stable job, and was without a set place of residence, at the start of the year, he’d found a job as a security officer in a wholesale place; his superior, Chen (age 40) learned that Ling was a released inmate, he’d started telling him everything; in order to help those who are younger, who are just like him, he’d lent out the empty house, the motorcycle, wanting to help alleviate the economic stresses of Ling, “Don’t ever go back again!”

And Ling left the job for unknown reasons later on, and took off in Chen’s motorcycle, Chen didn’t mind not having it back, until Chen received a ticket, and he’d made multiple phone calls to Ling, but he didn’t pick up, he feared, that Ling had returned to his bad ways again, he’d decided, to “actively” seek him out.  He’d gone to the police, to tell them, that Ling had took his motorcycle without his permission; two days later, Ling received a call, to head over to the station, and Chen immediately rushed to the subprecinct to see him.

As Chen saw Ling, he’d grilled him, “Why didn’t you call me?”, Ling felt sorry and thankful toward the man who’d helped him; he’d told him, that he was living in the workers’ shack, and worked as a construction worker, and because of long hours, and the schedules are flipped, and he didn’t have the money to buy the pre-paid phone cards, that he didn’t mean to not pick up his calls, or returned his calls.  Ling had even shown Chen his wages for the month of July, proved that he’d earned $5,000N.T. last month, and had wanted “to make more, before I paid you back!”

Chen saw how the younger man didn’t go astray, he’d signed the settlement, and said that he was dropping the charges; but the police pointed out, that taking someone’s belongings is a public indictment charge, that after it’s been reported, it can’t be retracted.

And so, because this man had had his share of time in jail, and he knew how hard it is, firsthand, for someone to start all over again, he’d shown kindness to a man in his similar predicament, and, he showed care and concern, and genuinely had the good will of this other man in mind.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Observations, Stories of Hope, Turning One's Life Around, Turning Over a New Leaf, Values

The Naughty Boy Became a Dancer

Such a huge change, isn’t it?  So, I take it he’s found his direction then???  Translated…

Toward the end of June, I was invited by a friend, to go see a play at Sun-Yatsen Memorial Hall, “The Crazy Soap”.  The skilled actors and actresses portrayed the formulated love affairs between men and women from the television shows, and the amazing voices kept ringing in my head too.

But, what’s more impressive was something else, the choreographer introduced the dancers, the performance arts department students from Chuangjing Technical High School.  Because of the combination of classes, these students were able to get involved in the stages, and they’d accommodated the main characters, very beautiful at time, and wild and free at others, it’d added to the stage presences.  When we’d entered into the auditorium and exited it, there were school students, directing us; in intermission, there were kids in the crowd, giving out flyers for their next performances.

After I got home, I’d flipped through the brochures, and in the “Introductions of Dancers”, I found a name I was familiar with.  Ah!  It’s him!  The boy that transferred to my class in the fourth grade.  I still recall how he would give the teacher headaches and get the girls to start to cry too; and maybe, because he wasn’t interested in the scholastics, so he didn’t do too well in class either.  The naughty boy who acted up a lot in the teacher’s eyes is now, a very good dancer on stage.

I’d felt so very happy for him, for finding his direction in life, he’s NO longer that little boy who acted up a lot anymore, instead, he’d become a chaser of dreams in the dancing group.  Working with the team, rehearsing too.  And maybe, one day, he’ll become an outstanding dancer too!

An evening of show, not only did it manage to impress me with the stage and the artsy-ness of the show, it’d also made this rendezvous with an old classmate possible, I believe, he’s more mature now, and is going to pursue his dreams in the realms of dancing.

And so, this still just shows, that even IF you were a kid who acted up a lot in class, if you don’t give up, searching for something that you’re good at, you can totally become a success in life, like this young man did.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Education, Expectations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, Turning One's Life Around, Turning Over a New Leaf, Values

The Prince of Veggies and the Princess of Fruits, a Story on Marriage

A match made in heaven, perhaps?  Because even they worked in the same “industries”, they’d sold different products, so, there’s NOT any competition, translated…

These couple of days, the marketplace close by held a wedding, Xiang, who sold veggies around the corner became Mr. Fruit’s son-in-law, and, Mr. Fruit’s stand was just opposite of Xiang’s veggie stand.  As the news got out, everybody offered the newly wedded couple their blessings.

Xiang’s mother had been selling veggies, when her husband died a long time ago, for the sake of making ends meet, she’d sold veggies during the daytime, and at night, she’d worked as a dishwasher at the night markets.  And because of how busy she was, she’d failed to pay attention to Xiang, who was in his teenage rebellion state.  And because Xiang’s mother worked hard, and neglected to pay attention to Xiang, Xiang got involved with some bad friends, and, was sent to jail.

Two years ago, Xiang was out on parole, and because he couldn’t find a fitting job, he could only stay by his mother, to help out.  Maybe it’s because of the wrong roads he’d taken, or maybe he watched his mother age, and realized how hard life was for her, so he’d worked hard to help his mother, and, he understood the philosophy of produce and methods of selling, was extremely kind to the ladies who came to shop.

If he saw the shoppers with bags big and small, he’d asked, “Are you in a hurry?”  If not, he’d waited until he put up the stand, then, he’d deliver the goods.

His “Home-Services” is extremely popular, a TON of the shoppers would buy more from him, because they needed not haul it home themselves.  And because of his involvement with his mother’s business, the stand was doing quite well.

Xiang had found his direction in the marketplaces, other than taking good care of the veggie stand, he’d part-timed as a deliveryman for his friend’s business, to make the extra cash.  Because of how hard he worked, his kindness toward others, without ANY bad habits, nobody knew of his bad pasts.

Because Uncle Fruit saw him working so hard, he was willing to give his daughter’s hand in marriage to him.  At first, Xiang was reluctant to accept, he’d opened up about his history to Uncle Fruit, he feared that he may NOT be good enough, for the gentle and kind girl.

After six months, Uncle Fruit believed that this young man was amazing, other than working hard, he knew how to act properly, and that this boy, is someone he feels comfortable, giving his daughter’s hand to.

And just so, the Prince of Veggies and the Princess of Fruits became an “it couple”.  They did NOT go on their honeymoon, the very next day after they wed, they’d started working at the marketplaces.  Xiang was understanding that Uncle Fruit needed the extra help, and so, the bride would still help out there, and, after Xiang finished selling his veggies, he’d gone over to the fruit stands to help them out.

Everybody said Uncle Fruit was lucky, gained himself a helper.  Xiang was thankful toward his parents-in-law, to give him a new chance at life, he will work even harder, and be kinder to them both.

Seeing how Xiang had turned over a new leaf, started on his new life, I give my blessing to him.

And so, this man, who’d gotten into trouble from when he was younger, had started anew, now, he works hard, making an honest living, and, he was able to move the man to give him his daughter’s hand in marriage, and, this man is now, on the RIGHT path in life.

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Filed under Because of Love, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Expectations, Family Matters, Fate, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Maturation, Observations, Perspectives, Relationship, Romance, Social Awareness, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Turning One's Life Around, Turning Over a New Leaf, Values, Wake Up Calls

Losing My Daughter, Plus Being Diagnosed with Cancer, My Son’s Words Woke Me Up

The tale of a S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R, translated…

There’s a saying, that “the third daughter has a better fate.”, meaning that the third child always managed to get all the luck, being a fourth child, maybe, I’m just NOT so lucky, so, whenever I’d had a “dent in the road”, I’d believed, that it was fate, which gave me more courage, to face my own difficulties.

Recalling how when I lost my daughter, I still feel my heart aching now.  After these eighteen years, she’s everywhere I’d go, an apple of my eye, that didn’t have a chance, of growing up, the heavens took her away when she was very young, and it’d taken the happiness, the joy, and the hope away from our household, and it’d made me spend my days awfully.

The pains of losing her, and the bad moods from the loss, unimaginably, the bad cells in my body started acting up, I was diagnosed with cancer.  This HIT almost took me down completely, so many troubles had come my way, and, it’d made me live in pain, misery, and hatred. Right when I was at the most painful part of my life, my son reminded me, “Mom, DO forget those hurt now.”  At which time, I’d waken up, getting out of the vortex of pain, sorrows, and loss, is the best way.  And so, I’d sought out treatment options, gone to chemo and put up with the pains and the discomforts too, and I’d even started looking upon my deceased baby girl as an angel too, giving her mom encouragements and boosts from up above, helping me take up my heart of sorrows, so I can concentrate on fighting my cancer cells.

“If you’re a bull, then, you’d have to haul, and if you’re a human, then, you’d have to live through the pains”, that, was the traditionalist view of fate, it was hard, getting cancer, but, I can deal with it, compare to what others are going through, my pains and sufferings paled by comparisons.  So, I’d adjusted my attitude and mood constantly, since I couldn’t get rid of the cancer, then, I shall, dance the dance with it then!

Life, is made up of a series of misfortunes, and, there are too many worries to be had, only through living your day to day to its fullest, take advantage of the now, cherish those around you, then, the pains and the discomforts won’t defeat you, and, you’d bounce right back up, every time you got kicked down too.

And so, this, is from one woman’s wisdom, because she’d undergone so many trials and tribulations in her life, losing her child, then, being diagnosed with cancer, and undergoing the treatments, and, because of her strong heart and mind, that, was what carried her through.

 

 

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Letting Go, Life, Loss, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Properties of Life, Translated Work, Turning One's Life Around, Values, Wake Up Calls

No Longer Silenced

No longer silenced, is the voices that I hear, they’d grown so FUCKING loud, and they’d kept me up, for nights, and nights on end.  I’d worked real hard, to ignore their pains, their sufferings, their anguished voices, but, in the end, they’d gotten so god DAMN loud that I can NO longer tune them out, so I’d started listening.

No longer silenced, I will NOT be gagged, E-V-E-R, because I’d found MY voice, and, I’m using it to B-I-T-C-H (and that, is still what I’m currently doing, in case you all were wonderin’…).

No longer silenced, because a child had been sacrificed, and, after that child was put up there, on the ALTAR, and offered to the whatever, as the fire got to her feet, she’d cried out in fear, but, all the onlookers just looked, waiting for one another to do something (here comes the bystander effect, AND the diffusion of responsibility!), and, as the crowd gathered up, NO one feels compelled to take any actions, to help save this child, as that next dude or dudette right next to me will do it!

No longer silenced, because I’d remained wordless LONG enough, and, the sufferings I’d felt, are too real, too painful to keep ALL to myself, and, it’d become sickening to my body, I MUST let them all out, so, there you have it.  Everything IS O-U-T, in the open now!!!

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Belief in a Just World, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Issues of the Society, Lessons, Life, Moral Responsibilities, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Right to Life, Self-Images, Social Awareness, Stories of Hope, Turning One's Life Around, Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

How Writing Helps with the Healing Process, the Growth of a Woman

Translated…

“Mom, was I outstanding yesterday or what!”, about two years ago, I was given the diagnosis of “terminal stage of cancer” with absolutely NO time for me to prepare of this.  After my husband who’s had a stroke heard, he was really shocked, but, when I’d told my son, who’d just started working, he was extraordinarily calm, and the very next day, he’d told me his way of thought about the issue, “Mom, these couple of years you’d written a lot of articles, and, you must have thought about every and anything that could happen in life, and, you’d managed to carry yourself in dad’s illness too, I’m quite certain, that you won’t get beaten by this either.”

His words engraved into my mind, and even though, in these two years, the process of treatment was extremely hard for me to take, and still, I was able to visit my mindset a lot from the younger days, to use positive thought, to help myself through the difficulties.

Seven years ago, on the verge of retirement, a good friend invited me to join in their group of “part-time writers”, and, I wasn’t very good a writer, but, I’d taken the mindset of “I got nothing ELSE better to do anyway”, to start writing after I retired, and sent in my articles via the web, and the very first one I’d written was selected by the newspapers.

Later, I found, that the kind of writing I wanted to do, “spiritual writing”, a couple of newspapers had a medium for.  In not minding about getting my scripts returned back to me, I’d started reproducing in mass volume.  In the first year, my best friend and I encouraged each other, and with some friendly competition with her, both of us had shows for it.  The second year, us old “gray-haired ladies” continued on this fun “competition”, other than writing for the specific topics, entered into related newspaper article entries, reading reports, we’d also done, and it’d allowed us to read a TON of great books too.

And on top of that, a essay contest from a restaurant gave us both rewards, and we’d gotten to enjoy a free Mother’s Day meal.  Slowly, I’d found more and more “articles needed” messages online, and, I’d started sending my stuff into the national forums.  What made me most proud was, that once we’d both entered into a writing contest sponsored by the government agencies, and we’d both won, and gotten called to receive the awards, and published a book together too.

Other than the joys from winning the awards, there are bigger rewards from writing itself, other than retrospect on what had happened to oneself in life, I was able to examine things even more closely too, and managed to keep myself and my mind sharp.  And, my bad moods, they usually get taken care of after I write, and my views toward my own life became more and more positive too, and I’d become more and more forgiving toward others as well.

What’s even more accidental was, these couple of years, after I’d had huge issues in life, I could pass them without that much difficulties.  Yesterday, I went to the hospital to pick up my annual health check reports, and I’d gotten “you’re okay now” from the doctor, it’s as if there’s a brand new window that’s opened up by my life.  I think, “writing to my spirits” had done what it was supposed to, I must keep going in writing!

Because by writing things out, you’re not keeping it in, and, when you kept everything on the inside, that, is when your bodies are likely to go wrong, and, by writing, you’d found an outlet, so, you’re no longer keeping everything bottled up, which helps you get healthier, and you just need a pen and a notebook to get yourselves better, this, is way cheaper than T-H-E-R-A-P-Y that’s for sure!

 

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Turning One's Life Around, Values, Writing

Dropped Out at Age Ten, Now He Owns a Shoe Factory, the Taiwanese Merchant Donated Another Ambulance

 

 

 

He SHOWED them all right, from the Newspapers, translated…

He didn’t have enough money to go to school, and was looked down by his classmates and school teachers, at age ten, he’d dropped out of school, and took to the streets, but he’d never blamed anybody for this misfortune, at age forty-something, he’d owned a shoe factory in China, and, six years ago, he’d come back home, in his glory, to give back to his hometown, and worked hard, to get involved in nonprofit work.

The sixty-seven year old Chen mentioned how before he was even one year old, his father passed on, and his mother raised him on her own, she worked as a stage performer, “back then, the touring group would go all over the places to perform, and after I started understanding, I rarely saw my mother, just three to four times a year.”

And because of how poor his household was, he was only able to pay for his tuition up until the second grade, as Chen went to school, he’d gotten nagged by his school teachers, and picked on by his classmates.  Chen stated, that when the teacher’s midway in her lessons, she’d called him to stand up, and she would ask him to get the tuition owed from home, then, to return to the class, and so, he could only run around in a circle outside of school, then, returned back to the class and tell his teacher, “There’s NOBODY home at my house”, he knew his mother couldn’t manage to get the money for him.

At age ten, he could NO longer put up with getting picked at in school, so, he ran away from school, and started drifting on the streets of San-Chong, and during the daytime, he’d picked up scraps from the streets, shine someone’s shoes, or washed dishes, and in the evenings, he’d found a place underneath the meat stands at the market place or in the staircases, to crash.  Back then, he did NOT give UP on himself, and it was then, he’d made a wish for himself back then, “to make a LOT of money, to return to his birthplace with glory”.

Chen said, that he was most gracious toward his counseling officer in the armed services, every time when there’s a test, he’d sent him to take it, until he’d questioned him, “I’m the only one here who’d dropped out of elementary school, why do you keep on sending me?”, Ke answered, “Just because you didn’t get enough education doesn’t mean that you’re destined for failure in life”, that, had helped Chen build up his self-confidence.  In 2008, Chen started actively getting involved in not-for-profit activities, gave his first ambulance to the fire department, and named it using Chinese characters from his and his wife’s name, “Tien-Yu-Yuan #1”, yesterday, he’d donated “Tien-Yu-Yuan #2”, and during which time, he’d silently gave to the causes in the wintry seasons too.

And so, here, we have a man with a VERY bad beginning, but he didn’t give up on himself, despite those people who’d talked him down, he just kept at it, and, he’d become a success, and he had some help along the way, like the officer in the army who’d gave him a confidence booster…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Nature vs. Nurture, Self-Images, Stories of Hope, Turning One's Life Around, Values

Treat Every Single Day as a Blessing, in the Workforce

Translated…

When I’d told Cheng, whom I’d worked with on outside sales, that I am about to retire, he said, “Even though I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to offer my consoles to you, but, after I fell ill, I’d given my body to doctors to look after, and my heart and soul, I’d given to Buddha.”

“Don’t worry about it, to me, every single day is a gift to me, so, there’s NOTHING to worry me, I hope you can also break through, great work!”, I’d replied.

A few years ago, Cheng was diagnosed with liver cancer, after he had surgeries, he was too thin already, and had to undergo chemo, he could barely manage to speak.  His superiors, his colleagues, all told him to rest up, that health should be his top priority, but he’d still dragged his ailing body to work, because he has parents, and children to care for.

Everybody thought he’d be dead real soon, without knowing, that he was able to make a full recovery, with the help of doctors, and his own faith, and, it’s been three years since, and he’s still working.

Every time I’d gotten a call from him, he would always speak in a joyous manner, giving that positive energy to others, he said, he was very thankful, because God had let him live, even the doctors are so shocked, because they’d diagnosed him with just a few more months of life.

And now, Cheng carried his positive attitude about life to work, he said, that having a good mood can help him stretch out his body.  Life and death is the constants of being alive, that you don’t necessarily have to come out on top in life, but you must NEVER give up, once, the Angel of Death welcomed him, and so, he’d treasured every second of his every day, and that every moment he is alive, he’d not taken for granted.

With this heart of gratitude, Cheng worked even harder, to appreciate everybody around him.  And his words, had given me, who’s about to leave the workforce, a TON of encouragement.

So this man gave his example of how he now sees his own life, after that close encounter with death, and, a brush with death surely CAN have this sort of an effect on people, because ALL of your priorities become cleared up, and you start to appreciate the things you never did before…

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Karma, Lessons, Life, Observations, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Self-Images, Translated Work, Turning One's Life Around, Values, Wake Up Calls

Who Says the Children Who Misbehaved Would End Up as Lowlifes?

Just because you didn’t have a good start earlier in life doesn’t mean that you’ll end up badly, you can still make your lives better, you know???  Translated…

On the newscast, it mentioned that a namely American interior designer, when he was a teen, he’d gotten into a lot of bad business, but gladly, his school teachers were very kind toward him, and they’d managed to steered him into the right directions.  After he became famous, he’d gone back to his alma mater, to thank his instructors, the teachers said, “Our duties, are to help the students uncover their passions and dreams!”

This reminded me of something I’d gone through…

At the door of the office stood a youth who looked glowing, he slowly walked toward me, smiled and told, “Teacher, I’m Lu, from a certain class, do you still remember me?”

And, my memories flashed to ten years ago, the most head achy student I ever had, but this young man who’s full of self-confidence and courteous, it was hard, for me to link the two together.  What sort of an experience, had helped him turn his life around?

This student, Lu, had been interested in arts and designs, and toward the academic stuff, he showed absolutely NO interests at all.  But, both his parents, who graduated from technical high schools told him, “Son, I want you to be better than I am”, hoped that he could graduate high school and go on to college.  The layers of pressures, plus his puberty, had caused Lu to act up in class, and he’d even led his classmates to make a mess in the school, and naturally, he’d made a TON of bad grades too.

But the school did NOT give up on this child, through a multiple methods of approach, and the communications with the parents, the4y’d finally respected the child, and allowed him to take the arts department examinations at a technical high school.

Lu poured his heart and soul into his interests, and had outstanding performances in school, and managed to build up his own self-confidence.  Three years later, he’d graduated, and entered into a designing firm.  And because he did excellent work, he received a ton of orders, at age twenty-one, he made enough money to buy a house; the company had even decided, that after he’d served his army terms, to send him to England to study.

On the eve of his army service ending and leaving the country, Lu returned back to his alma mater middle school, to show his gratitude toward us, his teachers.  I looked at this boy with a bright future who looked glowing, I was truly happy for him, and I’d said a simple blessing for him, and, who says that troublemakers in school are bound to turn into lowlifes later on?

Because he had supportive teachers and parents who allowed him to take the alternative route, that, was why this person was able to get beyond himself, and that just shows how important support is, in a kid’s life.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Connections, Education, Education Levels, Observations, Translated Work, Turning One's Life Around, Values