Category Archives: The Observer Effect

Do Look More at Your Spouse’s Better Qualities

Translated…

Last weekend, I’d asked along a couple of good friends, and, we took all our kids to Dahu Park, on the one hand, our kids could have each other’s company, and, on the other, it’d given us, mothers, a breather, to chit chat with each other, to reconnect with one another.

Mei-Jun who arrived late to the gathering came, complaining about how her husband would just sleep in on the weekends, rarely helped out around the house, nor does he schedule outings with the children; and, she’d become responsible, for the kids’ recreational activities on the weekends, and, from time to time, when her husband came along, he’d only acted as the chauffeur, drove everybody to the spot, then, headed back home to sleep some more.

After Wen had heard, she’d started envying Mei-Jun, turns out, that her household was exactly the opposite from Mei-Jun’s.  Wen who keeps everything tidy wanted the weekend, to clean up, but, the husband believed, that the weekends should be spent, away from home, whether it be going to the movies, or to sightsee.  Although Wen knew, that going on outings as a family is an amazing experience, but, when she thought of how much work that needed done around her house, she couldn’t help, but feel worried.

Then, Yu-Jen joined in the discussion too, even though her husband doesn’t have that many bad qualities, but, he is reactive, needed to be told what to do; but, the things that she’d missed, her husband ignored.  In the end, everything big and small in her house, relied on Yu-Jen, as the “commander” to handle, and, her husband became a pawn that just runs the errands.

Hearing my girlfriends started describing how displeased they were at their husbands, I couldn’t help, but smile, turns out, based off of the standards my good friends had set up, my husband is a perfect ten, hard working, and can cook (although he rarely had any chances to), and on the weekends, he’d taken the kids out exercising, cycling, camping, climbing, and would also accompany my children as they worked on their art, or practiced their piano.

But, this sort of a perfect husband has a weird habit, he’d wanted to order everything, books, shirts, pants.  He’d ordered everything in his closets by sections of shirts, pants, suits, and, lined his clothes up based off of length and color too; on his bookshelves, he’d ordered his books by the types of books he had, then, sorted them out by sizes.  The bathroom and living room slippers must be orderly, so it would be convenient, to the next person who uses it.

After my husband heard, they’d all shook their heads, thought that this precise man can impose a great deal of pressure on his family, and, everybody all of a sudden felt, that their husbands in their daily living, are actually very good, despite how messy they can get.

I’d smiled and told them, “each couple have differences in upbringing, if you can respect and cherish one another’s good qualities, then, you’d gotten along nicely.  Marriage is not changing the other person into another you, instead, it’s making sure, that your qualities complemented each other’s, so one plus one is greater than two.”  As for who gives more to whom, don’t nickel and dime, after all, love is the point, so, we’re all, giving to our families, willingly.

And so, each house has its separate issues, and, what you see as a good quality in someone else, may not be a good quality, to someone whom the person is close to, so, stop envying one another, and just cherish what you have.

After I’d Lost My Job

Gives you a brand new perspective on things, after you’d lost your job, and now, after you’d reexamined yourself, you can start again, on a fresh note, translated…

As everybody is ushering in the brand new year, I’d had to face the facts, of my company closing down, and being out of a job.

Losing the job during the Chinese New Years is an awful thing, and, all of my friends and families had commented, “That’s such a shame, there goes, your year-end bonus!”

Recalling just six months ago, when I’d realized, that my company was laying off the employees one by one, I’d already started planning.  After all, I’m getting older, and, the opportunities won’t come at me like they used to.  Even so, I’d still held that positive attitude, study at home, or, apply for new job.

This year was just the year when my son is taking his entrance exams for high school, I’d busied myself in and out daily, chauffeuring him every single day; my daughter who’d come home for her winter break got to sleep until she wakes herself, and enjoy the home cooked meals prepared by her mother.  See how happy she looks, this, was the small-time happiness she never had the chance of experiencing since birth.

Is it scary, to become unemployed?  I’d asked myself this a lot recently.  Because I’d lost my job, I’d had more time, to prepare the meals for my family, to tidy up the house more; because I’d lost my job, I’d gotten more time to stay at home, and, after having that honest heart-to-heart with myself, I’d realized, my past mistakes.

Losing my job became a turning point for me, I expect that I will be able to face my unknown future with more bravery, because I’d gotten beaten, losing my job and all.  Carrying on with this positive mindset, and, embrace the bottom half of my life that is solely mine.

And so, you’d carried that positive outlook on life, even though you’d lost your job, and, it’s that positive attitude that will help you in the futures to come.

Childhood Sweethearts

The BEST of times here, translated…

Not identical to that crush, back then, we still don’t know the meanings of love yet, with the heart of adoration, but, we were, more confused at that age.  Sometimes, we were inseparable, at others, we were, enemies, and the very next day, we’d gone to school together, sat on the same rows.  We were, childhood sweethearts, and, we were saved, in one another’s memories as young, naïve, pretty and naughty.  That, was the faces of the time from kindergarten to elementary school, so close, and inseparable, and afterwards, when we’d thought about one another, that smile would, slowly, creep up onto our faces.

Those faces, had, walked into, the elementary school reunion, thirty years later.  Released, exploded, if our own children see us, they would still not believe it, turns out, that their parents, were once, young children like they are too, they were, rowdier, than those classrooms, without the teachers watching over the classes.  Those we’d lost touch with after we left the elementary years, we’d taken a look at one another closely, and, we’d all managed, to return one another, back to when we were still just children again.  That naughty boy who’d once taken his own sunny side up, and shared it with that little girl, that generous girl who’d won the love of all the boys in her class, those who’d traded candies and toys smiled at one another, and, those who’d fought with themselves are the happiest now.  Reconnecting, the women started talking with their childhood girlfriends about the happenings in the girls’ lives, and, the men shared those old days of making trouble as boys with each other too.  We’d all grown, all became strong, with our separate life experiences too.  Our statuses and our positions, our occupations don’t matter at all, we were, competing with one another, who’d gotten punished the worst by our instructor back in the day, who’d made fools of themselves the most number of times, and, those troubles in our past became, a beautiful song that we shared with one another.

Childhood sweethearts, the hearts were true back then.  I’d once followed and traced their footprints, Googling them, tracking them in secrecy using Facebook, silently prayed, that they’re all okay, that after she’d fallen ill, she could cherish what’s important more, that he’d grown stronger, after getting up from his falls.  The over thirty years of absences from one another’s life, were traded, in secrecy, and, we’d continued, holding on, picking up where we left off, in our childhood years, smiling more radiantly for her sake, giving him a louder applause, although we may be far apart in physical distances, we could still connect with one another, still give each other kudos.  The reunion of the younger years, can make people escape their current life situations temporarily, to allow you, to realize, that those who’d shared your ups and downs from way back when, should be the ones you’d cherished the most.

Looking at the sign-in books, and, the times we’d shared all came back to life again, and, it’d showed a picture of that pasture in our childhood years, the wind woke a pair of young childhood sweethearts from nap, the childlike, the shy, the words that filled our hearts, just wouldn’t, come out, articulate, and back then, we’d all just said, “It’s nice to meet you.”  Without realizing, that thirty years from then when we’d met back up again, we’d stated it simply, “So glad to see you again.”

Turns out, this group of seven, eight year-olds who’d mowed the grasses by the fields, those laughter, those silently slacking off, we were, practicing, for the happiness and the sorrows, of our current lives.

So, that, is how much, the childhood days can affect a person, huh???  And, the writer went from talking about his elementary school reunion, and, connected it to how those childhood experiences, had made him into who he is today.

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Filed under Expectations, Family Matters, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect

Brownies & Sighs

Translated…

At the entryway of Taishun Street, there’s a chocolatier.  I’d found myself, standing in the shop, eyeing all the delicacies, and, I’d had my eyes, set on that sighing brownie.

Could it be the colors, or the name of the product that kept me intrigued.  The soft and fluffy chocolate seemed to be barely held together, and the flour became more like the decorations.  What intrigued me the most was the “Sighing” in the name of the product, so, I’d pressed the beautiful female shop clerk, why the sigh?  Could it be, that when the guests eat it, they couldn’t help, but sigh?  Or, are we not supposed to, cover our lips, as we enjoyed the desserts, smiling on lightly?

The clerk told me, that she didn’t know where the name came from either, that the name of the product was given by the female owner of the shop.  I thought, could it be, that this mysterious person had, sighed, as she’d baked the goods, or, is she like, a lot of the writers, when they’d eaten the cakes, the memories, started, surfacing once more?

I’d looked around the shop, wanted to find more clues to the name myself, the card in front wrote: seventy-percent pure chocolate, this, is more than enough, after all, there’s NO one-hundred percent chocolate cakes in this, consumer-run world, so that, is what gave it the sighs.

There was a family living next door to the chocolatier, or rather, it was, only an entryway to a garage, a very long time ago, an assortment of wind chimes hung there.  Back then, I’d loved passing by there, during the summers, the wind chimes would ring simultaneously, there was one, with the tails, swaying back and forth in the wind, like it was, telling me, a story.

If I’d only wanted to hear the stories, I’d be better off, ringing the doorbells, and tell the owner of the place, the reasons for my visits.  Oh, how I’d hoped, to hear the stories, so I can be, turned, into a wind chime too.  Although, I’d imagined so many stories, none of them was real.

There was a famous writer who once said, there are so many people in the world, going through the same things, so, even IF it’s just a story you’d imagined, it may have already, happened, that someone actually had, sighed, as they’d taken a bite of that brownie.

That cake, was for the ailing mother-in-law, she’d been bedridden a long time, and could no longer swallow the solid food items anymore.  Her daughters said, that she’d missed the brownies she’d had when she was younger, and, they’d cut the brownie I’d bought, into smaller pieces, sent them into her mouth.  The bitterness matched well with the sweetness of the brownie, it’d become fermented inside her stomach, and, drew her back to her past, younger days.  And back then, the sigh was from those who were around the mother-in-law, and, nobody KNEW what the story that flew back into the mother-in-law’s mind was, when she could still talk, she’d told her daughters, one by one: “You are my dearest child”.

It’s just, that, in order to hear the mother-in-law state so, is like proving that the wind exists by hanging up the wind chimes.

The very next weekend, we’d found ourselves, outside of this chocolatier once more, and bought the same kind of “Sighing Brownie” again, and, I’d asked again, for the stories behind the item, what kind of stories, are hidden, inside the dessert?  The female store clerk only looked at me, and replied, “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”, couldn’t understand my question.  I think, she may not know which story I’m asking for.

At the end of the year, the daughters held a birthday party for the mother-in-law, and, everybody was there, in a café, where you can put puzzles together, the mother-in-law was in her wheelchair, with the feeding tubes attached to her body, making HER entry, that day, she’d left her sickbed, but, couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t liquid, and that time, her children not only just got her a piece of the brownies, but, an ENTIRE cake!  Everybody sang “Happy Birthday” to her, and started eating the food, I’d heard sighs, coming out of the lips of everyone who was there, like how mercury would roll around, nonstop, on the floors.

He’s still bought the brownies, carefully, carried them, to his mother-in-law’s place, but, the daughters only gave the white box one look, “Oh, mom can no longer eat, especially sweets!”  she’d waken up at specific times, and, tilted her head, to the Korean soap that was playing on the television, to show, that she’d still had, connections to the world.  I’d still walked out of the dessert shop, wanted to see the wind chimes, that put on the symphonies, and, I’d realized, that after the windy season had come and gone, the family had, put up the wind chimes already, and this confused me, as to whether or not it was, a windy day that day, or maybe, if I will, get a chance, to hear the sighs.  “But, this, IS a great big world, wind is bound to blow somewhere.”  I’d started getting curious, at that moment, the ratio of people who are sighing, hopefully, is not just seventy, to the people who are smiling.

The last moment had come, in the hospital ward of NTU Hospital, the brownie was placed on the stand, with everybody sighing.  The mother-in-law didn’t move a muscle, her life is reduced, to the electrocardiogram, and the oxygen concentration in blood, and the pulse charts, the families and friends took turns, coming in and out, saying goodbye to her, someone kissed her on the cheeks, her blood pressures rose all of a sudden, and, maybe, she was reminded, of a past event, the first time she’d heard the wind chimes, perhaps?  But, her blood pressure kept dropping down, in the afternoon, the doctors came, decided to give her a shot of morphine, and, not long thereafter, the mother-in-law had passed on.

They’d moved her body, into the morgue of the hospital, and, arranged her final affairs.  Nobody recalled that piece of cake I’d bought, I’d recalled how I’d once gotten into contact with Dr. Wu of the psychiatric department of N.T.U. Hospital, as I’d typed, I’d sighed on, “The mother-in-law fought hard, with her terminal illness in N.T.U., and maybe, she’s nearing the dusk of her life.”  Then, just like the distant wind chimes sounding off, Dr. Wu replied, “The N.T.U. has over a hundred years of history already, there were, a lot of people, who’d lived out their dusks there.”

The cake is saved and given to the warriors, and, the war is already over, although, it’s still, a long ways away, from the dusks.  I took the brownie away, and, left the sighs.

And so, this, is from the firsthand interaction, with the families of someone who’d fallen ill, and, the narrator was not only an observer, reporting what he bore witness to, but, he’d also, participated, in the stories.  It showed, the life of a woman, how she lived, and, how she was grieved for, after she had passed on…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Expectations, Family Matters, Observations, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, The Observer Effect

There’s Nothing to Complain About, Really

The ins & outs of life here, translated…

Awhile ago, I’d met up with some friends I hadn’t seen in quite awhile, we’d all complained of how the price of everything is hiking up too high, that we couldn’t get too many things for $1,000N.T. now.  That if we didn’t write down each and every time we had spent our money, we wouldn’t know where the money went.

Later on, a friend told his story, and it’d moved me so, and, I’d started looking at him, through the eyes of awe.  He’d told that he’d joined the activities of WordVision Org, and put up the money to support the orphans in Africa, which meant, that he needed to send in $700N.T. each and every month, and a child in Africa would get the resources s/he needed, to have the food, the clothes, the water, to keep surviving in the world.  Waited until s/he is grown and is capable, then, the WordVision Org would transfer his donations to another child in need.  This program will continue, so long as we’d sent in our donations regularly.

At the start of the adoption processes, we’d received a report, and, with the coming of age of the child we’d sponsored, we’d get the records of her/his growth from time to time, it may be photos, or cards.

As I’d heard this news, I was shocked, because $700N.T. a month to us, it might mean that we just buy one less article of clothing, or to go see one less movie, we’d managed to save, but, it would afford to keep a child in Africa warm and fed for a month, other than feeling moved, I couldn’t help, but introspect, that if we’re living well-off, then, why must we envy those who are better off than we all are?  Hearing their stories, do we have anything else to complain about?

Without realizing, that this friend who’d dressed and acted like those members of younger generations who enjoyed spending had, done such wonderful thing without the acknowledgements, and had continued for quite awhile now.  I feel, that if this small tale can get out there, and, maybe, it would initiate others to help too, and then, there would be more children who were starving or cold getting the assistance that they needed, and I will be grateful, for what I have, from here on out as well.

So, this small amount of money that we may have, some throw-away change, can actually make this huge difference for someone else who lives in a poverty stricken region of the world, so, if it’s not too much trouble, save the $4~$5 of coffee from your mornings, and, donate to some charitable acts like this person had done, and, you can help make someone else’s life a whole lot better too!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Life, Observations, Social Awareness, Socialization, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect

So Many Tragic Tales of the World…

There are, just an INFLUX, of tales of someone’s tragic life that bombard us every second of every single day, and sometimes, we’d feel this, emotional OVERLOAD, because the things we “bore witness to” secondhand are just, way too GOD DAMN painful.

So many tragic tales of the world today, what, do we do?  Do we all feel so much sorrow, for the families who’d lost someone to something tragic, do we, donate money to the causes?  What, do we do?  More than likely, we’ll all, CRY about it, if not, at least, we’d feel, somewhat, EMPATHIC over these BAD things that’s occurred right now, and, after that nanosecond of our empathies gets “spent”, then, we’d, TOSSED it all, behind us, and became, once again, SELF-CENTERED, and SELF-ABSORBED.  That, is what, is likely to happen, after all, all these tragic things you are bearing witness to right this moment will quickly, become, nothing MORE than JUST yesterday’s news, which makes it OLD!

So many tragic tales of the world, and, there’s still NOTHING, that you, or even I, can do, to PUT an end to it all, after all, we’re NOT Almighty, are we?  Nope, and besides, we each, have our own problems, getting along with the family, managing our marriages, etc., etc., etc., and, we forgot, the VALUES, one by one……….

So many tragic tales of the world, and, did you do everything you possibly could, to bring about awareness, to TRY to prevent these awful thing from happening?  Did you, already, DO your part?  And, what IF everything you’d given, still isn’t, QUITE enough, then, how, will you, adjust to that mentally?

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Helping Behaviors, Interactions Shared with the World, Issues of Morality, Issues of the Society, Life, Moral Responsibilities, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization, The Observer Effect

The Biggest Fear of the Elderly, Tripping & Falling Down, Use Exercise, as Well as Looking After Coronary Health to Resolve the Problem

Watch out!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The former whip of the KMT, Bo-Hsiung Wu accidentally broke his ribs from a fall, causing him to need emergency surgery because the fluids accumulated in his lungs, it’d reminded those with an elderly person at home, to prevent tripping and falling down.

As Taiwan marched into the elderly population exceeding the younger, in order for the elders to live on healthy, with a good quality of life, the worst that could happens is tripping and falling down, it may break the bones, and cause immobility.  Because once the ability to move is lost, the elderly would become long-term bedridden, not only would this cause stresses on the families, a lot of the elderly also deteriorated quickly.

My own father is quick-tempered, he’d hurt his ankle from a car accident many years ago.  And, he’d thought, that he was an athlete when he was younger, so he didn’t pay any attention to the injury, in the end, he’d had to undergo surgery.

Before the screws on his joints healed back up, and because he couldn’t stay still, lying down, he’d walked around using his cane, visiting his friends.  And, one rainy day, he’d slipped, and had to have another surgery.  And this time, the doctor only managed to stable his legs from the outside, and, screwed the screw on outside his body.  After the screws were removed, he’d lost function in his ankle, and, his legs became uneven too.  And because he’d relied on his healthy leg long-term, it’d caused a grown inside the bones.  I his elderly years, maybe it was because of how his legs wasn’t strong enough to carry his body weight, he’d fallen from the stairs,  hurt his brains, and died.

We’re advocating that the elderly, to move around if you want to stay healthy, if you want a high quality of life, you must establish the habits of exercising regularly.  But, we must remind the elders, to NOT be too hurried, to take things easy.

And so, the elderly should prevent from tripping and falling, because, a LOT of complications would come after tripping and falling, not only physically, the broken bones, being in a cast, the immobility, etc., etc., etc., there’s also the mental state to consider, when the elders are injured, so, keep watch over your older adults, and, have them use a CANE, whether or NOT they want to, it’s for their own benefits!

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Filed under Awareness, Behavior Modifications, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Hindsight, Lives Lost, Observations, Old Age, Parent-Child Interactions, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Stupidity, The Observer Effect, Trends, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

That Day, with My Back Turned, on the Bus

Translated…

I am without a motorcycle, so, no matter where I go, to class, or work, to shop, shopping for groceries, I’d taken the free bus that runs eight kilometers locally.  But, one day, everything that was familiar, became, kinda odd………

First, it was the driver’s look switched between shocked, pity, and showing concern, it’d flattered me so.  And, there’s the normally rowdy bus that’s gone silent all of a sudden.  For this time frame, and this bus, it’s, quite weird.  In the end, being young as I am, able-bodied too, was given a seat, by a student.

What the heck just happened?  I can’t understand it, until I saw my own reflections on the windows—with a backpack on my left, with a home computer on my right, with a suitcase in hand, plus, a huge bag of quilt………it’d made me, who had to move all my things out, looked like I’d just gotten KICKED out of my place of residence.

Maybe, in those passersby’s mind, my backside was like Tzi-Ching Chu’s “The Backside”, causing people to tear up.

Funny, how when you’d become aware of your surrounding environments that everything just made a difference, isn’t it???  like for this person, who was probably just moving her/his stuff from the dormitories, as the semester ended, looked like someone who’d become homeless in other people’s points of views, that, just shows, that interactions are still happening in the world, without verbal exchanges………

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Behavior Modifications, Cause & Effect, College Life, Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Interactions Shared with the World, Life, Observations, Peer Pressures & Influences, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Socialization, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect, Translated Work

Those Who Take the M.R.T. Continued Sliding on the Cell Phones, and, the Patrolling Police Were Reduced

The aftermath of the shooting awhile back, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The murder cases of the random shooting that occurred on the MRT in Taipei, the crowd had returned to its usual rates since the shooting awhile ago, and, most of the passengers had already, put this tragedy behind them, and, the Hsinbei MRT station police force was also, reduced, from the originally 700 officers per day, to just one officer, watching the platforms, during the afternoon rush hours.

There were those passenger riding on the MRT who lowered their heads, to catch up on their sleep now, and, more are zoomed in on their cells, to play, and, most of the passengers sat quietly, watching the scene outside roll on by, to carry on in conversation, the tense atmosphere from before can no longer be felt.  The regular office worker, Gang-Yu Hsieh said, that he would NOT change his habits of sliding his cell phone while riding on the MRT, “there’s just no need, to be on high guards all the time.”

The eighth grader, from Jiang-Tsuei Middle School, Huang said, that the two weeks right after the random shooting, he was very scared, but after the police were sent, to patrol the MRT stations, he felt safer, and slowly, he no longer felt anxious.

Mr. Liu who saw the victims using their hands, to cover their wounds that day said, two weeks after the shooting, he’d made sure that his daughter rode the bus, later on, because there were police force, standing guard at the MRT stations, he’d allowed his daughter to ride on the MRT during the rush hours, but now, his worries are totally gone.

The twenty-two year-old college student who bore witness to someone getting murdered by Jie Cheng that day on the MRT still can’t wipe the images of the passengers, scattering out in a panic off of his mind, but she said, now, the passengers are no longer on heightened alert with one another, “those who are dozing off, are dozing off, those who are sliding on their cell phones, are sliding on their cells”, it’s like, the shooting had, never even happened at all.

The Taipei MRT offices estimated, that a month after the shooting rampage, the flow of “traffic” had dropped by 60,000 compared to the previous month, and now, it’d rose up to 194,000 per day, and, the events are no longer, affecting the operations of the Taipei MRT systems.

The sixth train where the shooting occurred is still parked in the garage in Tucheng, Hsinbei City, the officials planned to change the seats, and will see if there’s the need, to decide, if the train sections where the murders occurred should be placed back on the systems.

And so, this, is what happens AFTERWARDS, and, see how quickly people can toss the badness to the BACK of their minds?  And, until something like the shooting by Jie Cheng occurred again, will people start getting scared, and, shortly thereafter, the public, once again, toss all of that, to the BACK of their minds, that, is how SHORT the attention span of the public is…and, everything will, still, BLOW over, and, people will, eventually forget!

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Filed under Behavior Modifications, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Expectations, Healing Process, Interactions Shared with the World, Life, News Stories, Perspectives, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect, Turning Over a New Leaf, Values, Violence in the Media, White Picket Fence

Stop Setting Me Up on Those Blind Dates

Call it, a “case” of the New Year’s if you want to, translated…

Seeing how the Chinese New Year is approaching, some are waiting, happily, to get together as a family, but being almost thirty and still single, I’m troubled by how I will face those passionate relatives, because even IF I’d stressed to them all, that true love is found by the person her/himself, they’d still set me up during the New Year’s holidays.

Two years ago at New Year’s, my uncle who’s a super salesperson, in the midst of all of us, enjoying the get-together as a family, he’d abruptly told me that recently, there was a new employee who has a doctorate in chemistry, he’d really down-to-earth, and, more importantly, he’s still single.  “Any day is not as good as today, I’ll arrange a get-together for the two of you, because he happens to be having his meal nearby too.”, this is awful, now I really don’t know what I was going to do, and in the end, I can only blow the arranged matchmaking off using the excuse of I’m not wearing my makeup.

Last year around the New Year’s, I’d originally thought, that I could have it easy, without knowing, that my passionate aunt from my father’s side had offered my Facebook account name to the son of her coworker, a perfect bachelor in her view, and asked me if I wanted to take advantage of the New Year’s holidays, to say “hi” to him, and engage in conversation with him.  I couldn’t, and so, I’d told my aunt, that I wasn’t ready, so, if she could, set him up with someone else.

With these two awkward experiences, I’d started fearing the New Year’s holidays, because I’d worried, that my overly-passionate relatives would use some weird tricks, to catch me off guard.  Looks like, I’ll have to think up of a permanent solution, so I can, have a good New Year’s day.

This, is how troubling it is, to those you’d set up, and, maybe, from your perspective, you’re trying to help them out, but hey, before you go and set the person up with someone you believe to be “fitting”, did you EVER even consult the person being set up: hey, is it okay that I set you up with someone?  No, you just went ahead, and set the person up anyway, and this had caused this woman, to fear the coming of the celebratory time of the year…

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Filed under Cost of Living, Family Matters, Interactions Shared with the World, Life, Observations, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Values

When the World Starts Spinning Again

When the world starts spinning again, you’ll know, that everything, is BACK to the way it was, and the world, was standing still, because of something major that had happened.

When the world starts spinning again, you might get motion-sickness, because the world stood still, for a very long time before, and now it’s starting, to spin once more, you’ll find it, a bit, harder, to adjust, but you’ll soon, adjust, because you must!  When the world starts spinning again, that, is how you know, that everything’s all right again, that everything that’s troubled you from before, is now gone, temporarily, at least…

When the world starts spinning again, you are going to, start, spinning around with it, because if you don’t turn with the world, you’ll be the only one who’s standing still, watching the world flash quickly by, getting left behind.  When the world starts spinning again, you’ll realize, that nothing’s changed, but, somehow, everything’s already different from before, but you couldn’t pinpoint exactly, WHAT it was, about this world that started spinning again is different.

When the world starts spinning again, everything is dandy, until the next time it’d stopped, and, your lives get torn apart, then, it restarts again, and, you’ll feel comforted and happy, until it came to a dead halt once more, and, you just keep on, spinning, spinning, in the “rinse cycle”, and you don’t even know it!!!

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Filed under Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, The Observer Effect, Vicious Cycle

The Best Example

Show them H-O-W, translated…

The biggest trouble of working in a distant elementary school is the lack of personnel, the children must shoulder OVER their shares of cleaning up the school grounds.

As the kids in my class reached the higher grade levels, they’d learned that their cleaning duties are all the restrooms in the school, they’re all screaming, and howling in pain, the work of cleaning up the restrooms, everybody wishes s/he could dodge, and, it’d become a next-to-impossible task, for me, to persuade them, that this, is what needed to be done, to keep our environment clean.

On the first day the kids reported to their newly assigned areas of cleaning, I’d gone to the bathrooms, to see how the kids are doing, and, when they saw me, they’d started complaining of how the restrooms stunk, how people wouldn’t flush the toilets after they used them, and showed a desire, that they wanted to switch to a less messy cleaning area, like sweeping the grounds.

Even though, in psychology, the behaviorist approach showed that you can get immediate results from giving rewards, but I believed, that the kids should not rely solely on the extrinsic motivations, that it should be from the inside, and so, I’d decided, to become their role model, hoped that the kids can change their views about cleaning up the toilets.

That day, I’d gone to the restrooms, and, just as usual, I’d heard complaints from the children, I’d smiled and nodded, and heard the kids emotional outbursts, then, I’d taken the toilet brush from one of the girls’ hands, squatted down, worked hard, scrubbing the toilets.  At which time, the little girl looked at me with such admiration, “Teacher, you’re so very brave!”

I’d said, “See!  A lot of the things, so long as we’re willing to put some efforts into, it’s actually not that difficult at all, it’s no longer as scary, if I scrubbed alongside you guys, isn’t it?”

And afterwards, I’d gone to scrub the toilets every single day with the kids, and, had heart-to-heart talks with them while we cleaned.  A week later, I’d found, that the kids in my class are no longer so against having to clean up the restrooms, and sometimes, as they’d cleaned, I’d even heard humming too.  Seeing this, I felt so moved and glad.

When I was still a rookie instructor, didn’t know the ways, I’d once just opened up my lips, and told the kids, go clean this and go wipe that, back then, I couldn’t understand, HOW is it, that I’d given such clear AND precise directions, some of the students still can’t manage.  Later on, I’d discovered, that doing it myself, IS the best way to teach, turns out, that NO amount of verbal demands can beat out just one actions.

Sometimes, when the kids are against something, it is merely their fears of the unknown, at which time, if the adults around them can take their hands, and do the deed alongside them, I believe, that all kids can show potential, and handle what they’re supposed to very well.

And because this teacher didn’t have anybody giving her instructions on how to teach the children, she’d cleaned the bathrooms, and, as the children saw, that the teacher can do it, they felt, that they could do, and that still just shows, how important it is, to be a role model to the younger generations, and, this teacher managed to make cleaning up the bathrooms an easier-to-manage thing, because she’d shown the kids how easy it is, to clean…

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Filed under Communications, Lessons, Maturation, Observations, The Observer Effect, Values