Category Archives: The Fate of a Woman

Burning on Both Ends, the Sorrows of a Daughter-in-Law

This still isn’t at all good here, translated…

Last July, I got married, and gotten me brand new “roles” too quickly that I didn’t know how to adapt.  I’m a student, worked at home, and have a baby, regularly after work I’d gotten home, I needed to cook, to breastfeed, to do the dishes, to take out the trash, to work on my thesis statement, and in the middle of the nights, I’d also have to get up to change the diapers, and to breastfeed.

Living with my mother-in-law, even though I have a helping hand, but I’d also gained me an extra “identity” of a daughter-in-law.  One evening, I’d gotten home late, my husband bought something from a shop for my mother-in-law, and she’d told me how store-bought food are so very awful, she’d nagged on for TWO weeks.  I got it, I must cook, so, my family wouldn’t have to eat out.

The government said that children should be on breast milk, but, other than having to find a secretive space to pump myself, I’d also have to get my work colleagues to handle my workload; when I got home, if I got too loud, pumping my milk, I’d gotten called to the corner of the living room to do it.  If my child is thinner, then, I’d be nagged about how I’m not eating right, that there’s NOT enough nutrition in my breast milk that gets transferred to him, causing my child to NOT grow as fast; if I didn’t have enough volume, and had to mix some with the formulas, then, I’d get grilled for not taking my lecithin, that how could I not have enough volume?

All of this happened after the marriage, I’d originally though, that after I wed, I’d have a helping hand to care for my mother, and I would treat my husband’s parents with kindness too, but, living with the in-laws had me pressured so.  From before, I’d never cooked a single meal for my family members, and now, as I got off work, I needed to hurry home, and after they’d all eaten, I needed to clean everything up, and I’d also have to chase down the garbage truck too.  Sometimes, I saw how my husband leaves everything at the dinner table after he finishes and heads to the couch to watch television, or to play video games in the bedrooms, I’d wondered WHY it was that I got married in the first place?

If you’re a husband, DO love your wife more; if you’re an elder, DO remember, that your daughters-in-law are someone else’s baby too; if you’re a couple getting married, DO think of the life you’re about to embark on; if you’re like me, faced with multiple pressures in life, you can only hope, that one day, your husband will see the stress, and the hard work you’d been putting in.

But what IF he doesn’t, I mean, he won’t, he will always and FOREVER have HIS mama, wiping up the messes he’s made, and, he will NEVER know H-O-W hard it is for you, and, you’re just going to have to put up with that, unless you want to get a divorce, and, I’m quite certain, that NOBODY wants that on her/his “permanent record”…



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The Second Spring for May

Finding the love that’s right for you, after the last one had gone wrong, learning to love again, translated…

Hsien got married after he’d fallen in love with a woman, after they wed, they lived happily, but, after his wife, May had given birth to FOUR daughters consecutively, the marriage started going downhill.

Hsien is the eldest grandson from a huge family, his grandfather was a namely landowner of his area. The grandfather told him, that if they had a son, then, this eldest grandson from Hsien will get an extra share of his assets, and so, he’d decided to have another son, and May was under the risk of being an older pregnant woman, and had gotten pregnant with a fifth, but, after the prenatal checks, the doctors told her that the fetus was abnormal, and so, she painstakingly got an abortion, and the doctor also warned May, that with her health conditions, she should NOT be fitting, to get pregnant again.

After the dreams of having a son shattered, Hsien turned cold toward May, and had gone to across the straits for business. He’d brought some money, gone alone there, and quickly, he’d met up with a bar girl there, after the two started cohabiting together, he’d followed her back to her hometown to invest, and opened up a hotpot shop. He’d falsely claimed to his family members in Taiwan, that it was a business venture with another person from Taiwan, and had used the excuse of needing more funding, to have May wire money to China from time to time too.

Until Hsien managed to have a son with this other woman, did the whole thing blow wide open. And Hsien thought, that he now had the ACE of having a son, that his family would be behind him, without realizing, that his family members got ANGERED at how badly Hsien had misbehaved, they’d ALL sided with May instead. His grandfather, due to anger, openly denounced Hsien’s right to inherit his money.

At which time, the hotpot shop that Hsien helped started in China bankrupted because of bad management, the bar girl sold the shop, kicked Hsien out, and went back to her own mother’s house with her son. Hsien had lost everything, money, and love, and he’d returned to Taiwan, like he’d just awaken from a dream, because he was too ashamed of his own behaviors, he couldn’t face his own ex-wife and his daughter, he’d left a signed divorced agreement, and, disappeared.

As for May, who was heartbroken by Hsien’s betrayals, gladly, she’d gained the support of her family members, slowly gotten out of the gloom, she’d found a job again, and on her ride to work every morning, she’d met up with a single bus driver, and the bus driver showed empathy and compassion toward her predicament, and started pursuing her, and May had finally found a man who really DO love her now. Awhile ago, I’d met up with May, she couldn’t hide her happiness, as she’d told me that they’re about to get wed. Seeing how she glowed, I truly wish her nothing BUT the best.

And here, as you CAN see, payback (or karma, if you want to call it that!!!) is still a B-I-T-C-H!!! And, the man had it coming, because he’d left HIS wife who couldn’t give him a son (once again, this, is still the traditional sexist views working!!!), he’d dumped his wife, and shacked UP with a WHORE in China, and, after the whore in China used him up, well, she’d tossed him out, just as he’d abandoned HIS own wife, and, if that’s not karma, I don’t know what is!!!

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Her Husband had a Bastard with His Ex, and the Mother-in-Law Helped Take Care, Everybody ELSE Knows, Save for Her

And so, how can this WIFE be SO blind AND stupid, I wonder???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The married man, Lee had an affair four years ago with his ex-girlfriend, and Lee had adopted his own son, and asked his own mother to take care of him.  When Lee’s wife came home, the mother-in-law lied to her, said that she was helping to babysit for someone, until last year when the couple had a fight, did the husband let the truth slip out.  The wife immediately checked the household registry, and found that there was “an extra member” of the family, she’d gotten angry and SUED her husband and Hsieh for adultery.

Lee claimed, that “she’d already known about it, that the date to sue was way passed”, but the D.A.’s office based off of the LINE messages that Lee’s wife received which showed that she had no clue, and so, the D.A. prosecuted them both for adultery.

Lee (age 38) was married eleven years ago, and had a son and a daughter with his own wife; Hsieh (age 43) works in the beauty industry, was originally an ex of Lee’s, she’s still single.  The google+ friendship circle that they both had only had each other as contact, and Hsieh had even used their son’s picture as her display picture.

Last year in July, Lee asked her husband, “I’d heard rumors that you have another woman, and kid too?”, they’d started arguing, after Lee got mad, he’d claimed, “Had you known about it, we’d fight even harder”, “Of course I lied about it”, Lee was so furious that she’d flipped open the household registry, and found, that her husband had, indeed, adopted a child.

Lee accused, that her mother-in-law was enjoying playing with the grandchild, and that her husband’s side of the family all knew about this, and had allowed her own children to play with their “different mother” younger brother.  She’d said, that once she’d gone back to her mother-in-law’s and heard the child call her husband “dad”, that, was when she started getting suspicious, and the mother-in-law claimed, “This, is a child I am looking after for a friend, he’d called him wrong!”

Hsieh said, that she knew her boyfriend was already married, and that in 2008, they’d gone to a motel for the third time, and the next year, she’d given birth.  But Hsieh and Lee both claimed, that Lee’s wife had already “condoned” to their bastard child; and when Lee was brought into the police station, he’d told them, “She’d already forgiven me”, he couldn’t understand W-H-Y he was being sued.

The D.A. checked the LINE message provided by Lee’s wife, found that last year when they’d fought, Lee returned, “I’d worked up the courage to tell you the truth, I don’t want you to leave me”, along with other statements, and the judge ruled that the wife had NO idea of her husband’s infidelity, and the child that he’d had outside of their marriage.

And here, we still have a “good example” (yeah right) of a PERFECT L-O-S-E-R, who still tried (but unsuccessfully) to WEASEL his way out of trouble, well, he didn’t do it successfully that’s for sure, and, the mother-in-law should ALSO get charged for covering for the son too.

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Cost of Living, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Interactions Shared with the World, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, News Stories, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Issues, Spoiling Children, The Fate of a Woman, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Finding an Alternative Version of Oneself

Time for growth, people!!! Translated…

After my children are born, I’d become like the regular working ladies, a candle, burning on both ends, at work, and at home. Because my child got sick a lot, I feel very bad about it, thinking, that if I’d taken care of him, then, maybe, his health would be better.

And so, I’d sent in my resignation, but my boss and coworkers all warned me kindly, said that after taking care of my child for two to three years’ time, I’d be at age forty, and by then, it would NOT at all be that easy, for me to find a good job as the one that I have, plus, my son is only one, he is surely NEVER to remember everything that happened when he was still a baby.

And so, I’d started struggling, but in the end, I’d still given up my work, because I believed, that my child has only ONE childhood, and plus, a child this young would need his mom’s accompaniment. That year, I’d quit, and became a full-time mom. And still, there’s a LOT to be learned from the job of being a full-time mom too, from how to sterilize the bottles, making baby foods, and to tell if my child was crying because of anger, or to get my attention. To tell you the truth, being a full-time mom is comparable to the hardships of being a career woman, but, being able to be there as my son took his very first step, and hearing his first word of “mama”, and being there for many of his firsts, it’s so very rewarding.

One day, I watched, as my son played on his own, I was amazed, at how he could get happy by the smallest details he’d encountered, and I started question myself, “Where had MY happiness gone?”, after I’d let things “slow-cook” inside, I’d realized, that when I left work, it wasn’t for my son at all, the real reason behind me leaving the workforce was because of how unhappy work was making me.

It took me forever, to find myself, to ask myself, what I wanted in life? What can I do? I’d kept searching, confirming, and reconfirming, in the end, I’d believed, that the path of artistry, of writing, of designing, etc., etc., etc., IS the path I should be on.

When my child was kindergarten age, I’d started taking classes like crazy, to learn all I can, about designing, and, there would be other voices, “You’re NOT a designs major, and you don’t have ANY work experiences in this area, and you’re older, there’s NO purpose in your learning this trade.” And still, I’d believed, that there would be a road opening up for me, plus, my passions toward designing is comparable to that of the younger generations too.

And so, in a chance encounter, I’d opened up a workshop with a friend. Slowly, we’d gotten cases, and, after three months, we’d gotten a place in the government held animations competition too, even though, it’s just a small award, but we believe, that it is a step in the right direction.

Mr. Chang-Shou Yen was absolutely right, after meeting yourselves, then, you can become “an angel to yourselves and to someone else”. I’m truly glad, that I have the opportunity to combine my work and my areas of interests, I am really living, a fulfilled life right now!

And so, this, is a woman’s path to discover herself, and, it still wasn’t at all easy, like how she was told by the schools, that she’s too old, and yet, she sought out the resources, and kept persisting in her dreams, and in the end, she was able to become the woman she’d always wanted to become, she had, self-actualized, and all of this was made possible, by her own unwavering nature, her persistence, and her strength.

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A Spare Wheel that Just Sucked On, and Had the Wife on Her Wit’s Ends

A Q&A, translated…

Q: L, who’d been married for twenty-five years, and her husband was a habitual cheat wrote…

The spare wheel was her husband’s first love, would talk in baby tone, and is sweet looking and beautiful, had a TON of suitors when she was younger, her husband being one of them, but because he was in the service back then, and his family background is that of a poor farmer, that, was why the spare married someone else.

Later, the two families started interacting as friends, but, not long thereafter, the spare wheel’s husband went to work in China, L quickly realized that her husband was cheating on her with his ex, the husband got down on his knees, and begged for forgiveness.  And L, on his elderly father-in-law, along with the young children’s behalf, she’d forgiven him, without knowing, that she’d realized, that not long thereafter, they’re still going at it, and the husband had made a promise to the spare, “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The children are all older now, and the father-in-law had passed on, L told her sisters-in-law about the affair that her husband was having, and the sisters-in-law all stood behind L, and they’d gone to confront the spare, without knowing, that the spare challenged them, “If you dare, go ahead and SUE, and, you might have to think, that my husband will SUE your husband too!”, and this time, L is stumped!  What is she to do?

A My Opinion

In her entire life, L had been shouldering everything, given her health, her youth, for the sake of her own family, along with her in-law’s family too; and her spoiling the husband had let him enjoy life too much, and it’d also busted his long-term affair.  The spare is a teacher, along with someone’s wife too, and after the affairs went bust, she’s NOT only unafraid, she’d told the person off, I think, that L doesn’t stand a chance.  L’s husband’s shamelessness, along with his weakness in nature, claimed that he was having an affair with her, to avenge the fact that she didn’t choose him back then.  And he’d managed to get this by L too, no wonder the spare and the husband are NOT afraid of her.

This is called the “first love complex”, and it’s merely an excuse of an affair!  And the house that L lives in, is bought by her from before the marriage, and being a retired teacher, she is totally self-confident that she could make it, then, the husband who had been cheating and lying and whoring, naturally, L can totally KICK him out.

And so, why wouldn’t she?  What, is still troubling her?  Could it be how she felt she’s still “attached” to him in the marriage?  Could it be, that she feels that he needed to suffer LONGER for his infidelities?  What is it?  And, until this woman finally figures out W-H-Y it is exactly that she couldn’t let go, she’s NOT going to be able to let go, and see that brand new set of skies…


Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Abusing Someone's Trust, Being Alone, Belief in a Just World, Crime & Punishment, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Fate, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Loss, Marriages, Maturation, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Properties of Life, Rationalization, Relationship, Saving a Marriage, Self-Deceptions, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, The Fate of a Woman, The Observer Effect, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Hooray for All the Ladies Who’d Been Wronged in Their Marriages

A POSTIVE step toward healing here, a story on marriage, translated…

There are a LOT of ladies I know, who’d gotten divorced, but, after the divorced, their lives became even MORE colorful. This is not me, advocating divorce, but me, advocating that women find themselves afterwards, and have a better life for themselves.

Shin-Shin was my college professor, back when she’d married her husband, they were the “it pair” that everybody envies. After they wed, my teacher who’s not physically health had two daughters, but still, with her husband’s business expansions, he’d spent less and less time at home. Professor Shin-Shin, on the one hand, must take care of her two young kids, and on the other, she’d still planned the lessons for school, when she’d realized that something was up with her husband, he’d already had a baby with the other woman. And, Professor Shin-Shin didn’t cry, didn’t get mad, she’d just taken her two daughters, ended her ten years of marriage.

Wei’s husband is a new age good husband, after work, he’d helped out with the kids, and around the house too, but since two years ago he got laid off, he’d stopped looking for a job, and took to drinking, and became violent with her and the children, and even though after he’d become sober, he’d apologized, but every time he’d drunk, it’d happen all over again, and it’d troubled Wei. Later on, Wei ended the marriage, and, after they’d divorced, Wei still remained friends with her ex, and now, she’s without the troubles in her life.

Marriage may be the perfect fairytale for women, but it may NOT be the guarantee of happiness at all, modern day women can be in charge of their own marriages, and they no longer needed to put up with a bad marriage. Ending doesn’t necessarily have to be bad, it could also be a good beginning, let’s give these brave women a round of applause and offer them more encouragements! And so, here we have, women, who took their marriages (or rather, divorces) into their own hands, they decided to END their bad marriages, and they’d done it so, that it didn’t affect the children, and that takes a LOT of wisdom to accomplish.

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An Empty Shell of a Marriage

And so, why are you still keeping up with this façade??? A Q&A, translated…

Q Madam W wrote…

She is forty-seven, her husband, fifty-three, they’re both in the primes of their lives right now, but, seven years ago, they’d stopped being intimate with one another, she didn’t feel comfortable being proactive, and, he’d relieved himself from his sexual duties in his everyday living, until recently, he felt bad, said to her, “My penis now serve the sole function of letting me urinate.” And, his words, they angered her. He had a history of infidelity from a long time ago, and now, he’d had his affair with a woman he’d worked with for many years on end, W had also met the woman. And she KNEW that her husband was up to something, but she didn’t know what to do, she just feels so much pain right now.

A My Advice

The most painful part of a marriage, is being tied together, after the love is NO longer existent, and had to turn a blind eye, to the partner’s cheating ways, and the cheating person didn’t have the courtesy to keep everything hushed, just hoped that the other person would keep silent about it.

The couple is NO longer connected on an intimate level, there’s absolutely NO trust, the cheat doesn’t feel like divorcing, because maybe, the spare has no intentions of replacing the person, or that the wife still had her functionality in his household, or the children, or, other reason, he too, had never thought about divorce. And, even though the victimized spouse didn’t want to divorce, but, there’s NO intimacy, no trust, and seemingly, the empty shell of a marriage without love, she also, didn’t know, HOW to keep it going.

My advice is quiet simple: figure out whether or not YOU want to divorce? Do you have what it takes? Consider both economical and psychological independences, if you had the strength, do you have a plan for the future or not. And, after you’d decided to go through with divorce, then, decide whether or not to catch him in the act, consider the alimony, along with custody, and other important matters too.

If you don’t want to divorce, and couldn’t change the goings-on of your marriage, then, change yourself, transform yourself, from inside to out, to find some activities you’d enjoyed doing, to live your life fully. And, once you have your self-confidence, the whole world will change, and, maybe then, W, would be the one, who would want to get divorced!

And so, because this woman lived HER life around her husband AND family, he, was her everything, and so, that, was why she was so strained by his affair, and because this LOSER couldn’t make UP his mind, I mean, why would he? If he could have an old maid, who cooks, cleans, SUCK his DICK for him, who would turn a blind eye to his whoring around town, and so, this woman, is still stuck, and she MUST throw the first P-U-N-C-H, instead of waiting for the first PUNCH to be thrown AT her.

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When Cupid’s Arrows Hit

A tale of marriage, translated…

On a certain year, my roommate told me, with this persistence, “Before the year’s up, I shall find myself a man and marry!”

I’d treated her claims as a joke, didn’t pay it much mind. In the following days, my roommate started actively engaging herself into matchmaking activities, and she’d met someone, but, because her older sister was against him, she’d ended it with him, and later on, at a dinner party, she’d met someone whom she was truly in love with.

At the start of their relationship, in order to avoid the awkwardness, my roommate had asked a wingman, me, along, I’d agreed! On the day we’d met, “truthful and honest”, was the first impression I got of him. My roommate asked me in private what I’d thought about the two guys, “Someone you can consider”, I’d told her. Later, she’d asked me to go out again, but I felt unfitting as the wingman, and so, I’d turned her down.

My roommate who’d gotten all dolled up, radiated of beauty because she was in love, I’d thought, that the woman got dolled up, for something as miniscule as this. Date after date, they’d become steady, and, around the New Years, she DID, manage, to marry herself.

Another colleague had been single for multiple years, and once had the eyes for a male coworker, but, it was one-sided. Later, she’d changed tracks, and, her love life started blooming! Because of her running sales calls, she’d gotten so very involved with her clients, and it’d enlarged her social circles.

A friend proclaimed his love for her, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”, my colleague didn’t answer. A few days later, this friend called her up again, “Can you PLEASE be my girlfriend?”, my colleague told him, that she only wanted to be friends.

“And, was his friend also interested in you”, I’d inquired.

My colleague said, “I think so.”

A few months later, my colleague was going steady, I asked her curiously, “Which one was it?”

“The one I’m into.”, she’d replied.

Turned out, that the friend of the friend she was set up on a date with was also interested in her, and after they’d gone out a couple of times, they really connected. But, because later on, we’d lost contact, but, I’d gotten to know, that my colleague had married him. A few years later, the two of us met up once more, she’d invited me to her house. She’d NOT only found a good man, she’d also had a daughter, and is currently pregnant with her second child.

And, all I can say, is that when Cupid’s arrows HIT, you can’t DODGE it!

And that, is how THAT relationship works out, and the woman although, eager to get married, was also allowing herself the time to get to know the men she was dating, and, in the end, she was able to find the one who was a good match with her, that just still shows, that you CANNOT rush things.

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March 29, 2014 · 4:11 am

My Seventy-Three Year Old Mother is in Love

She needed a brand new focus in her life, so, why not?  After all, she deserves to be happy, doesn’t she???  Translated…

After my father died, she’d put all her focus on her children, after we’d gotten older, and we’d tried convince her to start dating again, she’d always come up with countless excuses not to…

My seventy-three year old mother is in love!

Originally, she was very difficult to get along with, and when she’d felt low, she’d poured her heart out to her son-in-law or her son, constantly complained of how everybody is NOT kind enough to her, how there’s NO point for her to keep on living.

In recent two months, she became “abnormal”, would wear a smile on her face, and would laugh happily whenever she’d met someone, and told her nine-year-old grandson, “that elderly man wanted to hold my hand, I think it’s gross!  He’d even told me he’d take me out traveling too, and become my driver.”

Hoping that Buddha Can Make This Match

I told my mother to take the advantage of the opportunity, she’d said, that man and woman should NOT be too close together, that everything should be taken very slowly.

I told her, stop waiting, if you wait any longer, you’d be inside a coffin!  My mother not only didn’t get angered, she’d started smiling shyly.

After my aunt learned of this, she’d consoled my mother, to take the advantage of this second chance in love, but my mother feared the gossips of the neighbors and the relatives.

My aunt replied, “When you were hurt, or ill, who truly cared about you?  Why must you care what those who talked badly about you would say?”

A few days later, I’d beaten around the bushes with my mother on her new love.  She said, that the man said he’d take her out, to treat her to dinner, but she’d turned him down, he doesn’t’ give up, said that he’d wait for her outside her door, and my mother said, stubbornly, wait however long you want, but I’m still NOT coming out!

I feared that my mother’s new love won’t even have a chance, I’d thought long and hard, made up a story, “Mom, I’d dreamed that Buddha came to me last night!  He said, you MUST allow your son to become independent, to NOT hang around him all day long!”, my mother was displeased after she’d heard.  I’d continued, “you’d spent half your life looking after us, and the heaven is going to return that to you all at once!  The Buddha made a match for you now, but, you MUST take action on your own!”, after my mother heard,, she’d turned her anger into joy, sarcastically claimed, I wasn’t in love when I was younger, I don’t need love now that I’m older either!

My mother is naturally conservative, after my father died, she’d fallen into a deep depressive state, and would start crying hysterically, gotten angry a lot too, and when there’s a suitor, or when someone introduces someone to her, she’d turned them all down.  She’d centered her focus on her children, waited until we’d grown up, left home, and all told her to start socializing, she’d found a million reasons to say no.

After we’d all left home, she’d become an elderly who lived alone, she’d often volunteered at a Buddhist foundation, and joined in the dancing team of her community, and would travel to other countries several times a year.  She’d packed her days up completely, and told everybody she’d met that she’s way too busy, actually, she’s feeling empty inside, and would often complain of insomnia at night, and a small thing can get her angry.

The Dying Flames Got Re-Ignited

Awhile ago, I’d gone alone to China for an interview, while I was dining at a hotel in Beijing, an elderly man came up, sat opposite of me, told me that he was a part of the group that I’d come with, asked me about work, and about my home, and asked my mother’s name too.

He’d told me, that his wife passed away at the start of the year, and that she has the exact same name as my mother.

Meeting up like that, I didn’t pay the elderly man’s words too much heed, in the next couple of day, I’d busied about with my work, I’d not paid attention to him, and at meal time, I’d distanced myself from him intentionally, in case he’d asked me more questions.  Every time I’d hauled my heavy luggage and my laptop, this elderly man would offer to help me, and, every time we’d left a place to go to the next, he’d made sure that I had caught up with the rest of the group.  After a few meetings, I’d gotten to know him better.

One day, by the river in Nanking, everybody started shopping around where we’d dined, and said to meet back at a certain place at a certain time, at the specified time, he didn’t show up, turns out, that he’d remembered where we were supposed to meet up wrong.

Ever since that time, every meeting, every meal, or every outing, I’d followed him close, to make sure that he didn’t get left.  After I’d returned to Taiwan, in the airports, he’d asked for my mother’s phone number, but he’d worried that she might mistake him as a scam artist.  And so, I’d called my mother up first, told her about how he’d looked out for me on the trip, then, I’d handed my phone to the elderly man, to let them chit chat for a while.

Without knowing, that a few weekends ago, my mother whom I hadn’t seen in over a year and a half came by, her cheeks are rosy, said, that while she was volunteering at the Buddhist center, an elderly man came up to her abruptly.  My mother busied herself about, and this man, had sat in silence, offered his prayer, until eight, or nine in the evening, did he leave the place, unwillingly.  And, my mother who has a simple social circle got grilled by the other volunteers nonstop.

My mother had been widowed for over thirty years, and this, was the very first time that anybody had ever shown her affections so publicly, she was kinda excited, and panicky, she needed to upheld the rules of being a good traditional Chinese woman, and at the same time, she’d wanted his attention at the same time.  Whenever she’d spoken about this man, she’d stroke her own hair, said to herself: I’m already very old, who would love me?

And still, life doesn’t start until age seventy!  I truly hope, that Buddha can give my mother someone she can talk to, to help her pass the days, to allow this love that came late, to reignited the dying flames of passion and life for her.

And so, this, is how a traditional woman acts in love, she’s very shy, and yet, she’d wanted the attention, and, because she was raised the traditional way, she’d experienced this love in the most delicate of ways.

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There are NO Difficulties that You Can’t Pass Through

The trials and tribulations that a woman passes through here, translated…

My eldest sister and Jen is super best friends, the two families knew one another for over twenty years, and the children had played together since they were little, to them being married, and they’d still hung out, there’s great affinity with the families.  Through my eldest sister, I’d become acquainted with Jen too.

The first time I’d gone to Jen’s house, I saw how welcoming her family was toward us, keeping trying to talk my wife and I to stay for dinner, we felt that we were imposing, but Jen told us, that it was just a regular home cooked meal, that she didn’t make anything extra.  And, in the end, we couldn’t say no anymore, so, we’d all dined together, and started in conversation.  I’d asked her how she was so very close with my eldest sister?  She said, that back then, they both worked as volunteers at the temples, they’d met up, and felt like they’d known one another for a very long time, and, they’d told their stories to each other, and, they realized that the stories are almost identical too, that, was why they’d become so closely connected to one another.

In the past, my eldest sister had a couture shop with someone, and, the partner used her name to take out a loan and took the money and ran off, causing her to lose everything overnight, and she’s chased after by the debtors because of it, and, finally, she’d paid up the debts she’d owed.

And Jen originally helped her husband in the wholesale jewelry business, with over ten employees, and because of how unique their items are, they’d done well in business, but, a salesperson from a client had took the money the client should pay to them away, it’d made them bankrupt, and so, they must stop the shop.

The two of them had similar pasts, and so, they’d felt especially close to one another, when life got hard, they’d supported one another, and when they couldn’t afford any food, they’d cooked up some soup, and they’d recycled to make money, and finally, they’d managed to stabilize their own lives, and, the children were sent to school too.

They’d told me, that there’s NO difficulties that you can’t pass through, from a business owner to a hard laborer, they still must keep going, otherwise, what will happen to their children?  After going through the hardest parts of life, they’d realized how cold people can be, but it’s okay, so long as they’re able to get out from underneath the glory of the olden days, as long as they’re willing to work hard, they would not starve.

Seeing how these two older woman, I can’t help but be in awe, because whether it be those high up government officials or regular nine to five workers, they should carry their positive attitude toward life.  When the unexpected comes, no matter how hard life may get, you too, must FACE it, with bravery, and, there will be a day when the light finally shines through.

That just shows, that as LONG as you’re willing to W-O-R-K hard, fate will look out after you, just take this woman for example, she’d had a TON of troubles, and yet, she’d passed all of her difficulties, holding her ground, and that, is the strength of a woman!!!

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Filed under Attitude, Cost of Living, Expectations, Family Matters, Fate, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Relationship, Self-Images, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, The Fate of a Woman, Translated Work