Category Archives: STUCK in a Cookie Jar

If It’s His Ex-Girlfriend, Then, Why Must He Marry Her?

Troubled???  A Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. C wrote…

Had allowed love to get to her head, couldn’t see the truth, Ms. C sent me a letter, she said, “the boyfriend doesn’t love ‘his current girlfriend’ (she’d especially labeled her as an ex-girlfriend); but his family forced him to marry her, because she’d lived with the family for over twelve years now, and, he must shoulder the responsibilities toward her.  They’d even told him, if after they’d married, and realized, that they still couldn’t get along, then, they can file for divorce, but, he just, can’t abandon her now.  If he doesn’t marry that ex of his, then, the boyfriend’s family threatened to cut him off, and wouldn’t allow him back into their household.”

C said, that her boyfriend is in love with another girl—it’s Ms. C.  she said, that her boyfriend and her are not only really much in love with one another, she’d kept waiting for him, to plan out their lives together.

And now, they’re “in waiting”, as the issues with the ex-girlfriend just couldn’t get resolved.  She wanted to know how she can resolve the stresses of her boyfriend’s family toward them, would his family really force them to split up?

My Advice

From Ms. C’s letter, I can understand, some unspoken truths, which was: her boyfriend was originally with his ex, or maybe, he’d gotten tired about being with her (or maybe, it’s normal), the boyfriend cheated with C, and, thought about, that he’d had to actually get married to C.

Whether it be a new love, or an old flame, or maybe, he’s just stalling, he is irresponsible, without the strengths, stamina, doesn’t want to be the bad guy who brings up the break up, so, he’d used his own family as a shield, and blamed it on them, to stall for awhile, then, he will used a more rash reason that’s made up by himself, “to break his own heart” and break up with C.  C, who is either too young, too naïve, or blinded by love, if she doesn’t wake up soon, maybe, she’d gobbled all his lies right up, and, became a “spare”, who’s waiting for her boyfriend to marry his girlfriend, until they’re divorced.

Simply stated, after the boyfriend had cheated and had his fun, he will still end up, marrying his “ex-girlfriend”, so, DON’T trust him!

And this, is where the trouble is, the woman is still too infatuated with the man, and she will gobble up ALL those LIES he’d sold her on, and, chances are, that she probably will STAY DORMANT, until it’s WAY too late, until the “ex-girlfriend” who’d become her “boyfriend’s” WIFE, and found out about them, and SUED, and, this woman still doesn’t HAVE a clue, because she’s way too BLINDED by L-O-V-E!

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Belief in a Just World, Betrayals, Broken Promises, Cause & Effect, Choices, Codependence, Commiting Adultery, Cost of Living, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Stupidity

Undisturbed in Your Denial

This, is where I leave you, undisturbed, in your denial!

Undisturbed in your denial, that, was how you had managed, to KEEP everybody OUT, to protect yourselves, from the hurts and pains that this cruel, cold world had to offer to you.

Undisturbed in your denial, you will always have it as a “cover”, and, everything EVIL you’d done, you can also, BLAME it on your denial, thus, never needing to, take ANY responsibilities for your FUCKED up actions, as in E-V-E-R!

Undisturbed in your denial, that, is how you CHOSE to cope, but, I can’t, because I will NOT allow denial to RUIN me, as it’d already, RUINED some of my family members’ lives already.  Undisturbed, in your denial, HOW, can I get through to you?  I’m really, REACHING out on a limb here, so, won’t you just reach out too, and grab my hand, so, you won’t SINK, with the T-I-T-A-N-I-C, I’m only, trying to HELP you, and you just don’t realize it, and perhaps, it’s time that I stopped, reaching now…………

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Life, Messed Up Values, Observations, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

A Couple Met by “Accident” Using a Friendship App, the Girlfriend Loved the “New Man”, Was Planning on Dumping the Real Him

Problems with not interacting with your dates, face-to-face, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

An engineer, Chen used different names to look for girlfriends using a cell phone friendship app, he’d managed to find the same adolescent girl, after Chen had sex with her, he was suspected of using his false identity, claimed that he had the sex footage of her, threatened the victim to take ten nude photos of herself, to shut him up every single day, the adolescent girl ended up, notifying the police, the police tracked his IP address, and found, that Chen had taken two roles online, and, busted his lies.

The Taipei District Attorney’s Office yesterday prosecuted Chen based off of threats, and laws against safety of youth and children; as for the accusations of rape, the D.A. believed, that it was, consensual, they’d dropped the charges.

The D.A. investigated, that last May, Chen used the nickname, “Wei”, through a friendship app, met a high school girl, they’d started dating, became a couple, and, had sex.

But Chen used another false identity, “James Wei”, and started another friendship account, found another female high school girl, after they’d shared a couple of conversations, Chen realized, that it was, his girlfriend, in order to know if her heart for “Wei” was for real, he’d used the name of “James Wei” to pursue her, and, he was able to get her to like him, although they’d never met up, they’d started referring to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Chen later found, that his girlfriend had fallen for “James Wei”, and was planning on breaking up with “Wei”, last year in June, he’d made threats using the identity of “James Wei”, “I have footages of you having sex with other men at the hotel, you must send me ten nude photos of yourself, or, I will, disperse the video footages.” The adolescent believed him, and had taken shots of herself, nude, sent it to him, other than photos of her, completely nude, and zooms on her privates, she’d gone with his instructions of taking nude shots of herself in her school’s bathrooms, she’d taken over a hundred pictures; the adolescent feared, that her photos will get distributed, and asked “Wei” to help her out, without knowing, that it’s all his work.

Last year, in July, the girl mentioned breaking up, Chen used the photos to threaten her, the adolescent first went to the Songshan Subprecinct, to accuse “Wei” for rape, threats, then, went to Xinyi Subprecinct and accused, “James Wei” for threats; the police checked the IP addresses, and found, that the two men were actually the same person, and, that, was when the adolescent discovered, that “Wei” and “James Wei” are actually the same guy.

This still shows, how you should NOT believe everything that people are telling you, especially in the areas of online dating, friendship, etc., etc., etc., because, for ALL you know, the person you’re chatting with, the one you feel that strong connection to, might be someone who’s way too old, to keep his own body well, and is just, phishing for the young AND the naïve, and, if you’re that stupid, then, surely, you WILL take the baits, and, end up like this girl, getting taken advantage of.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Life, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Stupidity

What Would Life be Like

Bear with me on this one, people!!!

What would life be like, I’d often wondered to myself, had I not, run into you that day, and yet, I’d get that loud ringing in my head, from REALITY, pulling me BACK down again.

What would life be like, if we hadn’t met, I know I used to have a TON of dreams I wish I had the chance of pursuing, of living out, but, after we met, we fell in love, got married, and settle down, then, one day, I woke, in a cold sweat, and, realized, that hey, this isn’t the life I wanted, and, I felt, that strong urge to run, but, I’d controlled the urge, because, I have responsibilities (still a very NASTY word!!!) now, kids to take care of, a husband, to cook for, and pick up after.

What would life be like, had I not dropped out of school, and had your baby?  I’d always thought, that I’d get back to school, to get my degree, but, things in this brand new reality I’d found myself in, just all piled on top of me, making that distant dream, blurry now.

What would life be like, do you ever wonder?  I’d strongly recommend you not to, because, you’d only, feel that regret, creeping up, then, you’ll take a look around, and, feel resentful toward whoever you believe, had caused your realities, to turn into a total nightmare.

What would life be like, without you?  Well, I already know, been living without you now, for EIGHT total years, and, I’m still KICKING and SCREAMING, LOUD, as EVER, just as I was, YANKED out from his BITCH ex-wife’s VAGINA, nearly THIRTY-THREE years ago!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

You Became a Memory I Can No Longer Suppress

Is that???  Oh, never mind, it’s someone’s GUILTY CONSCIENCE, GNAWING her/him…

You became a memory I can NO longer suppress, and, I’d felt the layers of regrets piled on top, like that mille-feuille (French dessert???), every single time I’d thought about you now, and that feeling would, drape over my head, like the lowered pressure atmosphere of the weather, slowly, but surely, making ME suffocate.

You became a memory I can no longer suppress, but, this, is really, actually, quite odd, because, from before, I was always, able, to PUT you OUT of my mind, and now, you’re everywhere I am, and I, just can’t seem, to get away from you for some unknown reasons.

You became a memory I can no longer suppress, and that, is something, I’m gonna have to live with, for the remaining years of my long, long, long, long, L-O-N-G life, because I still don’t feel that I’d done you wrong, but, I actually DID you wrong.  You became a memory I can no longer suppress, and so, you will, become that ghost, at the last STRUCK (from that cuckoo clock out in the hall???) of midnight, to pay me a visit, but, you won’t go away, like all those “normal” midnight hour guests…

You became a memory I can no longer suppress, and so, I’ll be constantly wondering about, getting reminded of, you, never endingly, until the day, I stopped, breathing, and, that, is the consequences I must live with, but, I still don’t believe that I’d done anything AWFUL to you, because, the same things that I did to you, had happened to me too, and, I took it to be what’s considered “normal”.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Shadows She Wore Around Her Eyes

And NO, this, is still NOT a lesson on H-O-W to apply MAKEUP on your faces!!!

The shadows she wore around her eyes, she only to be the only one who notices, but now, EVERYBODY around her seemed to.  She’d started wearing those shadows, since he’d lost his job, started staying at home, and, she’d done ALL she possibly can, to help him, PICK himself BACK up, but, nothing seemed to work, and so, in order, to keep the household’s HEAD above water (there are bills to pay, ends to meet, putting food on the tables, etc., etc., etc.), she’d gotten a job, allowing him, to take a break, from working.

She thought, that everything would get better eventually, that he was only, going through a phase, only that she never realized, that this so-called “phase” in his life is lasting for a VERY long time.  She used to feel, and appear all sunny AND bright, but lately, shadows, they crept up onto her, and slowly, they’d plagued, and, taken over her life now.

The shadows she wore around her eyes, they made her look so much older than she really is, and, she’d felt old too, and, it wasn’t until, late one night, as she was, wiping off her face (you know???  Using toner or whatever, to clean off the mascara, the blushes, the lipsticks, etc., etc., etc.???), she’d lifted her head, caught a gaze of herself, in the mirror, and, she’d taken, steps backwards, because there was, that “stranger”, with the shadows, no longer, JUST around her eyes, but slowly, creeping over, taking over her FACE………

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Filed under Cost of Living, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

The Words I Wanted to Say, Just Couldn’t Pass My Lips…

Everything got STUCK, in my throat, and it just, won’t come out!  There’s so many things I wanted to say to you, and yet, when I opened up my mouth, there’s NO sound, and, to think, that I’d rehearsed these words, god knows how many time already…

The words I wanted to say, just couldn’t pass my lips, perhaps, it’s because, I really don’t know WHY, and, I’m just, too tired, of trying to find that out, been WRECKIN’ my brains here, and still, nothing!

The words I wanted to say, just couldn’t pass my lips, perhaps because, they were, meant to, get STUCK, in my throat, and, no matter how many times I’d cleared it (my throat???), they (the words???), they just won’t BUDGE and flow out smoothly for some reasons.

The words I wanted to say, just couldn’t get pass my lips, perhaps, it’s because how the time for me, to say those words to you, had already come AND gone, and, you REALIZE how after these moments passed, they ain’t NEVER, EVER, E-V-E-R, comin’ back again…

The words I wanted to say, they will NEVER get said, because, I’d come to MY senses, that saying them to you now, it’s entirely POINTLESS, plus, I’m already DEAD, hello, hello, hello???  You had, MURDERED me, in COLD blood, with your VERBAL abuses that spanned ACROSS my ENTIRE life, and now, you will ALL, live IN the silence, and that still does NOT constitute AS the “silent treatment”, and besides, I’d only “given” the silent treatment just that once, when my two, already DEAD Scotties misbehaved, and, it worked WONDERS…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Communications, Cost of Living, Expectations, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

Divorce Gets UGLY

Because there’s NO “good” in goodbye, despite what it reads!!!

Divorce gets ugly, because, we’d be play the kids against each other, and, for them, it’s either that I’m on mommy’s side, betraying daddy, or that I’m on daddy’s side, betraying mommy…

Divorce gets ugly, and, we have YET to discuss the TERMS of our alimony agreements, no, this, is only the “pre-planning” stage of things here.  Divorce gets ugly, so, looks like I’ll need my supply of grenades, cannons, guns, uzis, along with an ASSORTMENT of weapons for ASSAULT, and, we still don’t CARE who we end up hurting, we just want to GET each other back.

Divorce gets ugly, as it’s supposed to, and, there’s no, let’s go back to being friends after this, after all, we’d TORN up this love, left one another hurting like hell, and, nobody CAN and WILL EVER forgive, OR forget a betrayal in THAT kind of D-E-P-T-H.

Divorce gets ugly, and, we’re still NOT the only casualties of this god DAMN war we’d started, there are, what are THEIR faces again???  You know, those young ones, that we’d “procreated”?  You know?  What ARE they called again?  Oh yeah, our O-F-F-S-P-R-I-N-G?  Do you not remember T-H-E-M???

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Filed under Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Scapegoating, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

Ripping Off Your Intellect

Guess what?  I’d drilled a HOLE, into your brains, and, I now have, total ACCESS, of your intellect!  And now, I can RIP off of your intellect, any time I want to, how’s that sound???

Ripping off your intellect, that, is what they (whoever “they” may be???) are doing, endlessly, because you’re a part of a larger group, and, seeing how, in order for that group to work, you all need to share your thoughts, and, there would be awful people from those groups you’re in, who’d do all that they can, to TAKE your ideas as their own, and, there’s NOTHING you’re able to do ‘bout it!

Ripping off your intellect, how you I do that?  Because I have total ACCESS over EVERYTHING, because I CONTROL you, you’d signed that contract, with the fine prints, specifying how your intellect belongs to ME, for the next millennium?  Do you NOT recall signing the contract I handed you from the beginning?  Ah, yes, but, I don’t recall reading about that in ANY of the sections.  Well, did you read the FINE prints carefully then?  Uh, was I supposed to?  It’s printed so god DAMN fine, it’s easily overlooked!  Well, that ought to SHOW you, that the MOST important details of a contract would BE in those fine prints, and that, is why they’re ALL printed so finely, so you’d miss it, and, get SCREWED, hello, hello, hello???  Don’t tell me that you don’t realize that!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Perspectives, Properties of Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Stupidity

Caused by the Break-Up of the Marriage of Your Father & Your Mother

As a child, of an unfortunate (or should I call it: a BLESSED!!!) divorce…

Caused by the break-up of the marriage of your father and your mother, you’d ended up, taking the burdens of them, not working it out, because, they couldn’t get along, and, you’d suffered through those endless nights, of hearing them, bickering in the living room, and, the only reason why they got so loud was because, they thought you’d already, fallen asleep, but you hadn’t…

Caused by the break-up of the marriage of your father and your mother, you just, keep attracting those god damn LOSERS who were destined to hurt you, just as your father had, hurt your mother never-endingly.  Caused by the break-up of the marriage of your father and your mother, you should feel free, but instead, you felt, even more tied down, because now that your daddy’s left, your mother will be needing, a shoulder she can lean on to, and, who ELSE can she count on, fi she can’t even count on family, and, you’re the closest of kin she’s got, aren’t you???

Caused by the break-up of the marriage of your father and your mother, that, is how you will always and forever BE the buffer, because, you’re an only child, with NO siblings, to alleviate the buffering between your father and your mother………

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Life, Loss, STUCK in a Cookie Jar