Category Archives: Pursuits of Pointless Things

Capturing Her Youth

Because the wrinkles, the crows’ feet, had taken over her face slowly…

Capturing her youth, she now made it into her topmost priority, for she was shocked, to see, that ugly old HAG, staring back her, copying her every single LAST movement.

Capturing her youth, she’d spent her whole life, dodging the effects of aging, but in the end, she couldn’t, because even though, she’d taken really good care of her skin, kept her body toned, by age mid-thirties, early forties, she’s starting to show.

Capturing her youth, she’d chased these false fantasies, and not focused on what’s more important in life, like making the friendships, the connections she needed, for social support later on in life.  She’d worked so fucking (oopsy!!!) hard, capturing her youth, and in the end, her youth became like that firefly, caught inside that mason jar, slowly dying, and, it (the firefly) now longer glowed in the dark anymore!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Maturation, Messed Up Values, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things

Love Became an “Investment”

This, was what love turned into, yeah, I know, everything is really messed up here, because we’re measuring by dollars and cents, and how much we each got from the love.

Love became an “investment”, and I HATE losing money, and yet, because love became an “investment”, there’s that underlying risk factor.

Love became an “investment”, so, how much do I get out of it?  Is there a set ratio, for earning per share for love?  Or, do we just have to wait and see, how love’s doing this quarter?  Love became an “investment”, and so now, we measure and weigh it, based off of monetary values, and, if love can NO longer be profitable, then, we’d DUMP it, in a heartbeat!

Love became an “investment”, and, everybody wants to put in the least amount of money, but get the MOST amount of earning, and, how is that possible?  It’s N-O-T, you don’t even get roughly what you put in, that’s not the way love’s supposed to go, and it should NOT be seen as an investment, so, STOP seeing that husband/wife as your meal ticket for the rest of your lives…because it won’t happen that way!

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Filed under Being Exposed, Issues of the Society, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Messed Up Values, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Social Issues, Socialization, Story-Telling, Trends, Values, Wake Up Calls

Waiting to Hear from You


I waited for you for way too long, to the point, that I’d missed out on the last Camelia bloom; and so, I can only, dry it, into a specimen, hang it up on my walls, as a memoriam; from last winter, I’d been sitting here—with my cat; it too, gazed outward toward you, you promised to bring it back a fish from the southern lands.

Since you’d left, the phone hasn’t rang, I’d placed it by my headboard—next to the last postcard I’d gotten from you; the spring is over now, I’d held onto my cat, feeling the heat; and it, had stopped gazing out toward you, unless, there were passenger pigeons, passing by our window from time to time.

So, you’d waited, and waited, and still, what you’d been waiting on still never came, because it’s NOT supposed to, and, you still held on tight, to the belief, that the one you’re waiting for, will eventually come back?  Get real, stop waiting, and start living again already!  Or, you will have NOTHING but, those years of your youths, wasted, and when you look back, you’ll feel???  Uh, dunno, TWO tons of regrets (b/c a ton is NOT longer enough???), perhaps???

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Because of Love, Being Alone, Connections, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Lessons, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Vicious Cycle, Writing

Thoughts of an Addict

Here Comes Another “Round” of Abuse…

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Filed under Abuse, Abusing Someone's Trust, Addiction, Adult Children, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Because of Love, Betrayals, Children in Mindset, Codependence, Dependency, Despair, Enmeshment, Issues of the Society, Life, Obstacles in a Relationship, Overbearing Parents, Overinvolvements of Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Rationalization, Self-Deceptions, Socialization, Spoiled Rotten, Spoiling Children, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Too Old to Remember Correctly, the Father Gave Money to His Daughter, and Then, SUED Her for Taking It

Forgetfulness, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

An man, Weng, in his eighties, in Taidong went to court, to SUE his own daughter for taking his money of over one-and-a-half million dollars, and asked for the courts to make her return it back to him, his grandson testified that the money was given to them for school and for their separate marriages.  The doctor examined the elderly person, and found, that his memories are deteriorating, that he was suspected of being demented, and so, the courts ruled that he’d lost.

Cheng, the elderly said, that his daughter told him that there are multiple cases of scams, and that in order for him to keep him money where it was safe, she’d taken care of it for him, and so, he’d gone to the Farmer’s Union to make a transfer, and wired over a million dollars over to her account, and now, he’d wanted the money back, but his daughter had denied it, that, was why he’d gone through the courts, to get it back, otherwise, “My daughter has a job, with a steady source of income, why would I need to give her money?”

Cheng, the woman said, that her father lived with her and her family for seven years, and felt bad for her, taking care of her children, and so, he’d promised to put up the money for his grandson’s study abroad, along with the money for their marriages, and had given them a total of one and a half million dollars totally, “Back then, he’d told us that it was a gift, and now he’d wanted it back, and he’d taken us to court, it’s really very upsetting.”

Cheng’s younger daughter also said, that from before when her older brother went aboard, her grandfather was supportive, and given him one million dollars N.T. for it, and, given half a million dollars later on, “said that it was for my dowry and money for my younger brother’s studies.”

The judge asked for the details, and Cheng the elderly man replied, that he “couldn’t recall”, and claimed, “I didn’t make a withdraw for her (his daughter).”; and when the judge questioned him, “if you didn’t withdraw and give it to her, how would she have it?”, the elderly stressed, “I didn’t withdraw, nor did I give to her.”, it’d made people believe, that his memories are fading out because of old age.

The judge asked the doctors to diagnose him, and they’d found that Cheng showed signs of “aging, short-term memory problems, and dementia”, that all of this would affect his memories, and so, the judge ruled that because of his memories deteriorating, he’d forgotten the promise made to his own daughter.

And so, this, is how it goes, a father SUED his own daughter, because of money issues, and, for some UNKNOWN reasons, money seemed to be an EMPHASIS for the elderly who are demented, but, taking your family to court over it, that’s just going overboard, but hey, that’s just MY O-P-I-N-I-O-N here!!!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Despair, Hindsight, Life, News Stories, Observations, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Scapegoating, Suppressed Memories, Trends, Values, White Picket Fence

What Happily Ever After SHOULD Feel Like

Let’s see, WHAT, exactly, should happily ever after feel like?  Like that first kiss that only comes ONCE in a lifetime, like that very first L-O-V-E you’d ever fallen into?

What happily ever after SHOULD feel like, does it matter, WHAT other people may think?  What happily ever after SHOULD feel like?  Uh, how the HELL should I know?  I ain’t never found that here, and, I’m still a “newbie” in love, so, I’m still just, experiencing things, so, don’t ask me!!!

What happily ever after should feel like?  I suppose, it’s like how Prince Charming opened UP that glass coffin, and bend down to kiss Snow, and colors returned to her face again?  Or, how when Little Mermaid got her brand new set of legs, and she couldn’t wait to get on land, to see her Prince?  Is it, anything like that?  Or, is it, entirely, different, compared to that?  I still wouldn’t know here.

But, happily ever after, it doesn’t feel like getting DRAINED every single day, arguing, every single night about the UNIMPORTANT things, but that, is what we’re currently doing, and so, I’m thinkin’, that I should “check out”, before this so-called happily ever after falls OUT completely, what do you think???

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Filed under Cost of Living, Fate, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Good Fortune is Being Healthy & Safe


During lunch break, a group of us who worked in the same office started chit-chatting, as we’d started off on the subjects of family and marriage, my colleague, A started complaining of how little her husband made, and how not-nice-enough to her he is; B started complaining of how badly her children were misbehaving, how they’re not doing well in school; C complained of how forceful her mother-in-law was.  Anyway, there’s a different problem for every household.

At which time, my coworker, Li-Hua stopped her chopsticks, sighed, and told us, “I finally know now, that there’s NOTHING we should take seriously in life, so long as we’re all safe and sound, that’s blessed.”  Li-Hua’s older sister had made a date with her to go back on the day after the Chinese New Year’s to her mothers, without expecting, that the very next day, came the news of her older sister passing out and was sent to the hospitals.  After examination, it was a brain tumor that popped, she is currently in the ICU, and she’s in a level three comatose.  The doctors told them, that if they managed to safe her, she will become a vegetable, her sister is only fifty-six years old, and the family is contemplating on whether or not to pull the plug, but they didn’t want to let go of her.

Li-Hua said, other than headaches from time to time, her older sister showed NO signs, kept thinking that it was hypertension, who’d expect that it was a brain tumor.  She’d recalled how just the day before she was still laughing as the two of them gathered together, the very next day, her sister fell into a steady comatose, Li Hua said that she felt very sad, and realized that life is ever-changing, that she must cherish the time she has with her friends AND families too.

It’d reminded of something, the neighbor of my friend is a kind-hearted nice person, one day, she was robbed as she was about to step out of her house, she subconsciously protected her purse, the robber pushed her to the ground, and her head bashed onto the rock, and, she’d died, and the robber was only able to get away with the $100N.T. she had in her purse.

After Li-Hua’s story, the few of us ate in silence, and all of us had stopped complaining.  So true, life is ever-changing, there’s NOTHING we need to take too seriously, cherishing what we have currently, and being safe and healthy, that, is being blessed.

And so, it still takes a DEATH, to remind people of their focuses in life, like how the group of coworkers started complaining at lunch, and, they were all knocked OUT of their chairs by a colleague’s story of losing something, which made them ALL realized that there’s NOTHING that important in life worth fighting over.

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Connections, Cost of Living, Despair, Fate, Hindsight, Life, Maturation, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Social Awareness, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect, Tragedies in the World, Translated Work, Values, Wake Up Calls

The March for Democracy

We headed out, in the name of “democracy”, but, we’re actually just a BUNCH of students who knows SHIT, but hey, we’re a HELL of a L-O-T, better than those students that are caged UP in the classes, daydreaming away, aren’t we??? So, we set out, and, as I walked on, many, many, many MORE joined me, and I call that progress, and, the fact that I don’t know what I’m marching FOR is far from my mind.

The march for “democracy”?  What, exactly ARE you marching for?  What’s the cause, do you even K-N-O-W?  Is it to end some sort of injustice, NOT the imagined kind, but the REAL thing?  Is it to “voice” an opinion that you have against the current situation in the world?  What is it, that made you take to the streets?  Is it that because your parents are a certain political affiliations, and because they talked SHIT about the current incumbent, and you just thought, that it would be B-E-S-T, for you, to put their words into action?  WHAT is it?  Think that through, and then, if you still feel that you NEED to go out to the streets to MAKE yourselves H-E-A-R-D (not seen!!!), then, go out on the streets, but, do NOT follow the leaders blindly, because, a LOT of the times, those so-called leaders, they don’t know SHIT, I mean, you’re basically, the BLIND, leading the blind, and you DO realize, how you can slip and fall into those holes on the ground (under construction???), if you keep your eyes covered, and let a BLIND man lead you, right???

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Filed under Connections, Early Exposures, Follow the "Leader", Issues of the Society, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Self-Deceptions, Values

Why Does the Drug-Addicted Mothers Keep on Having Their Babies?

I dunno, maybe she believed that it’s the only way to give BACK to the world?  By reproducing the NEXT generation of DRUG-ADDICTED babies???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

It’s been TWO years, and I don’t know how many times I’d heard, or brought up as a discussion topic at seminars and public hearings, “at the same time when everybody fears having children, in and outside the jails, the number of drug addicted babies are on the rise, and, the children all have different parents, and, it would be best, if the kids were raised in prison while their mothers served time, how many kids are in this dangerous environment now.”  Like as How Wang’s mom who was arrested, and was found to be pregnant with twins, it’s already within everybody’s expectations.

Right here, I feel compelled, to answer to the aunt of How Wang’s aunt, “I feel I’m on the verge of a breakdown, this woman has a huge problem, she kept on ‘breeding’, but with NO clue of how to educate”, “Why am I always cleaning up HER messes constantly?  She kept reproducing innocent children, and there’s just NO way I can manage to save them all.”

Because of being on drugs, she was unaware of a lot of things, including getting pregnant; so, why not an abortion?  It isn’t because she wasn’t willing to let go of the child inside, but because she’d burned herself out mentally and physically, chasing the highs from the drug use, how would she have the time or the mind, to care about the child growing bigger and bigger on the inside; what’s more importantly, if she got caught, the judge and the D.A. would go easy, because of the child inside, to let the mother have a get-out-of-jail free card.

And the results?  The child inside the mother doesn’t have the meals regularly, and, they’d gotten HIGH on whatever the mother’s using too, would the child born be healthy?  And, how many aunts like How Wang who’d broken down would there be, to pick up the pieces?  Cross-generation families would be the best case scenarios, and know how many families destroyed by just ONE person using in the homes!  The problems with drugs is NO longer trying to catching the providers, to STOP the sources………, issues of taking the reward.  I must say, that there would be a never-ending number of criminals out there.

And that, would be a problem, addicted mothers giving birth to addicted babies, and, what futures do those child drug addicts have?  How many of them will make it through their infancy, toddler years, and even adolescent years, and grow into adulthood, and, what IF they’d followed their mommies and daddies footsteps, and reproduce even MORE drug-addicted babies too, huh?  Had you considered that???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Addiction, Awareness, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Criminals, Dependency, Early Exposures, Everyone Else's Fault, Excuses, Felonies, Getting Exposed Too Young, Government, Policies, & Politics, Hindsight, Issues of the Society, Life, Lives Lost, Moral Responsibilities, News Stories, Parenting/Parenthood, Professional Opinions, Psycho Parents, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Stupidity, Substances Abuse, Tragedies in the World, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Girl in Heavy Makeup


I’d often frequented the bakery close by, there was a girl in the shop that impressed me deeply, because she always had on heavy makeup.  How the glitter on her face shined, and how her fake lashes flowed as she’d blinked, like they’re about to get on stage to perform.  Sometimes, I would get the impulse of wanting to grab those fake eye lashes that appeared like caterpillars, but of course, I did NO such thing.

Later on, I’d gotten to know this girl better, I’d learned that she was still a technical high school part-time student.  I was shocked, because of the heavy makeup, it’d made her appeared more mature than kids her age, there’s also this experiencedness about her too.

I couldn’t help but asked her why she wore such heavy makeup?  She said, because her mother who works at a karaoke would wear her heavy makeup to work, and so, she modeled after her mother, she thought that it was very fun, plus, the mother never cared.

Later on, one day, I found that the girl showed up for work, without any makeup.  And she’d looked like a very natural young girl.  I’d told her, that she looked even prettier plain, compared to when she wore heavy makeup.  She’d told me, that from before when she wore heavy makeup, she was hit on by some middle aged guy, she’d felt angered by it; and what’s more upsetting was, that she’d worked up the courage to tell the guy she’s into that she liked him, not only did the guy NOT pay attention to her, he’d asked her, “Why did you paint your face like you’re a ghost?”, the girl was very upset, and decided right then and there, she will NOT be wearing any makeup.

And now, every time I’d gone to get my breads, I’d see this girl with a clean face, smiling naturally toward the customers, my moods are lifted each and every time.

And so, this teenager is trying on various identities, which is normal in her stage of life, and, she’d learned, from outside inputs, that she need NOT paint her face, and that she’d be better off, letting herself shine through, and so, she’d changed her behaviors, and, she’d become more comfortable with being herself too.

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Family Matters, Growing Up Too Fast, Lessons, Life, Maturation, Modeling Behaviors, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Nonconformity, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Properties of Life, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Social Awareness, The Education of Children, The Observer Effect, The Teenage Years, Translated Work, Values, Wake Up Calls