Category Archives: Problems with Grown-Ups

Going Through a Divorce, and Taking It Out on the Kids

This, is SCAPEGOATING AT its W-O-R-S-T, from NBCNEWS.com, summarized

A woman, going through divorce and a custody battle is accused of killing her own two-year-old baby girl, and cutting her teenager with a knife.  And, she is now, faced with charges of aggravated murder, and if convicted, she could be sent on death row.

As she should be!!!  What kind of a mother, oh, I know, one with a VERY, VERY, V-E-R-Y L-O-W E.Q., first of all, you’re the one, going THROUGH your divorces, and you got NO right, to take it out on your children, I mean, it’s NOT as if they were the ones forcing the two of you to get married in the first place, so, stop scapegoating on them, and this time, a young baby IS dead, and a teenager is severely injured, and now, the mother is serving HER death sentence…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Keep Up with the Kindness and Graciousness, and Don’t Carry the Grudge

A Q&A, translated…

Q: Madam H, who’s been married sixteen years, with two children wrote…

H, who had nothing but animosities toward her husband and her marriage, the main reason being that eight years ago, the husband quit his government job to go for his doctorate.  At first, in the beginning, he would moonlight by teaching, and, all he earned, was merely enough for his spending, a little over a year ago, he’d quit that, said that he needed to focus on his graduation, and started doing NOTHING at home.

H had already had all the pent up displeasures about her husband, which made her refuse to have intimacies with him, and now, there’s this part, the economics (in the eight years’ time, he’d spent over six million dollars on his education, and H, because she must put all her wages into keeping the household intact, she couldn’t save a single penny, she’d felt dangers), which made their relationship even worse.  And, the forty-something husband had the problem of not moving forward, and plus, he saw, that his parents has two properties, and a couple million dollars in saving, and so, he’d not look for a job actively anymore.

The husband blamed H for not acting her duty as his wife, because she couldn’t satisfy him physically; and H blamed him for NOT making a dime, causing her to want to separate from him.  They’d gotten into numerous arguments, and, there’s still NO conclusion, H had plans to move out, to see IF she could get her husband, to realize the importance of her in his life.

My Opinion

H’s marriage IS in a jam all right, but, not to the point that she need to move out.  Based off of what the letter said, the two had just dated a couple of months and decided to marry, and, to date, the marriage had gone on for sixteen years.  From the start when the husband had his tempers and started throwing things, to now, he’s helping her around the house.

Only on the subject of NOT working, H should NOT start by complaining about how hard she’d worked, how much stresses she’s been under, she could start by changing the relationship between them, and, take a discussion attitude in talking about money;  When the couple is getting along well, everything CAN solve itself.  Change the tone, the use of words and your attitude, up ‘til now, I believe, that this marriage still hadn’t reached its potentials yet, first, mend, then, rebuild!

And so, because this L-O-S-E-R is a L-E-E-C-H, after all, he’d only studied, and now, he’s finally graduated, and he still does NOT look for a job, and, the wife’s slaving her life away, no wonder she feels unfair, and this is really bad, because when one of you changed and the other didn’t, the distance between the two of you will get wider, wider, and wider until it can’t be crossed.

 

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Parents Who are Good Examples for Their Young

 

On Parent-Child Interactions, translated…

I’d been teaching for nearly thirty years, encountered my share of different students.  Those from poverty-stricken backgrounds, if they’re willing to fight for their own happiness, it’s usually because the parents set a good example for their offspring.

Yu-Ling was a child from a lower income household, his crippled father is a cab driver, his ailing mother is a housewife, his older brother goes to a private technical college, his younger sister is still how economically, Yu-Ling’s mother would never miss out on any of his parent-teacher conferences.  Even though, she rarely talked to me about how he’d studied at home, I could tell that she cared a lot about her son.

In private, when I’d conversed with Yu-Ling, he’d often told me how he felt about how hard his father had worked.  He’d once told me, “I love my parents”.  He wanted to use good grades, to pay his parents back, and so, every semester, he was the top of the class.

But, another student, Pei-Ying was different, her mother had her out of wedlock, and left her in the care of her mildly retarded grandmother.  Each month, other when the rent was due, she’d come home, otherwise, she’d disappeared.  Pei-Ying has good learning skills, but is without the motivations to learn.  I’d asked her, “Aren’t you worry about your future?”  She’d always shrugged her shoulders, and minced her lips that seemed to state, “everything will work itself out”.

The education in the school will NEVER be as important as the education at home, and even IF the instructors talked until their mouths are dried, it still won’t beat the role models of the parents!  That, was what I’d gained, from my years of teaching.

And so, this still exemplifies the IMPORTANCE of the role of the family, and yet these day, family values had all gone to the D-O-G-S, because a LOT of parents (yeah, I’m talkin’ to Y-O-U!!!) out there don’t set a good example for their young, and, they’d leave their offspring to fend for themselves, and, so, their kids basically raised themselves, and, you still have this scenario where kids ARE raising kids, and so, where the FUCK (oopsy!!!) are ALL the adults gone?  And that, is W-H-Y, the world has so many problems, it’s ALL because of how FUCKED up the families had become, as families are the MOST basic unit of the society, like how cells are the basic level of ALL things living too, and, tell me that you GET that!

 

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When the Replies of an Inquiry Became Too Emotional, on Filial Relations

Let’s see how this one will work out, shall we???  Translated…

I’d gone out with Jen to dine on the weekends, Jen specifically picked the place where her daughter was part-timing.  And, in our meals, Jen started talking of how her daughter, a few days ago after work got super angry, complained of how tiresome her work was, and that she was planning on quitting her job.

Jen believed, that this, was a very hard to come by, work opportunity which she’d found for her child, close to home, and the boss is more than kind, that it was, a hard-to-come-by opportunity, and that her daughter should take advantage of it.  And so, she’d replied to her daughter, “We’re very poor, that, is why you’re working”.  I knew, that Jen had NO intentions of blaming her daughter, but it was in the heat of the moment she’d blurted this out.  Jen wanted me to help console her daughter, to keep her job, NO matter what.

Jen and her daughter lived together, just the two of them, and her daughter had been placed in the palms of Jen’s hands, and Jen took good care of her, and even though, their lives are hard, Jen still did what she could, to fulfill her daughter’s wishes.  The mother and child are very close to each other, and you can see them hugging and kissing a lot.

This summer, Jen rounded up over ten thousand dollars for Yun to head to Japan for an internship, it was a very good chance, to broaden her child’s horizons.  Jen saw how hard-to-come-by this opportunity was, and, she’d done everything she possibly could, and finally gotten enough money.  At the same time, Jen also hoped, that Yun could carry her work experiences at the restaurant, so she’d have a basis for comparison, to boost her own learning.

Jen had done all the “homework” needed for Yun’s internship abroad, and believed that she’d reached an agreement with her daughter too.  A few days ago, Jen happily told me, that Yun had handed her first paycheck completely to her, Jen felt very warm about this.  But, in a few short second’s time, the mother and child started the spat on to keep or to quit the job.

I believe, that Jen was way too emotional toward her daughter’s replies, after all, it was her child’s first part-time experience, she still needed some time to adjust to the work environment, she should try to understand what sort of difficulties she’s facing at work, and come up with a solution that can solve the issues together.  After school, Yun did NOT go out and have fun with her friends, and was willing to take her mother’s advice to work part-time, to get the knowledge of working in a restaurant, it’s already very hard to come by and should be encouraged.  As for the difficulties she faces at work, they must separate what is what, then, they can come up with a solution.

During these past couple of years, Yun had matured quite a bit, and could understand the hardships of her mother, I truly hope, that Jen could hear her daughter out, to allow Yun to stand more firmly in the workforce, and work more happily.

And so, the mother is WAY too pushy, and she still hadn’t gotten the WHOLE story, she just saw what’s on the outside of her daughter’s work environment, and that just shows, that unless you’re on the INSIDE, you should NOT be making A-N-Y comments about anything, after all, it is her daughter who goes off to work, dealing with whatever she’s dealing with, and I get that the mother’s trying to get them out of living poor, but pushing her kid to take that job that is giving the daughter a bad time is NOT the way to do it!!!

 

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Communications, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Letting Go, Observations, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Values, Wake Up Calls

A Children’s Book about Gay Parents

How could you possibly EXPOSE our daughter/son to such atrocities???  Uh, just WATCH me!!!

We’re all coming OUT of the closets these days, and so, it’s NO surprise, that there would be books on gay parents, but, we’d never heard about a children’s book ON that topic, up until N_O-W, and, because matters as delicate as this, the government fears, would taint the minds of young readers, they’d DESTROYED the books, or rather, asking the rest of the public to do so.

A children’s book about gay parents, do you see anything wrong with that?  I mean, it’s NOT as if after you’d read books about gay parents to your kids as their bedtimes, they’re going to become gays OR lesbians, hello, hello, hello?  Homosexuality IS inborn, are you FUCKING kidding me?  And, IF you want to blame, blame it on the CHEMICAL imbalances during the women’s PREGNANCIES.

A children’s book about gay parents, that’ll totally SHOCK those religious fanatics all right!!!  How can public libraries support such an idea?  Do they NOT know, that children are easily influenced by what they read?

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Filed under Adoption, Awareness, Homosexuality, Interpersonal Relations, Invasion of Privacy, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Legislature, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Nonconformity, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

She’s from My Father’s Whore…an Adolescent Girl Killed Her Three Year Old Younger Sister

Sibling rivalry turned deadly, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“the love had been split up by my younger sister”, the whore’s daughter, her mother loved like it was her own, the adolescent girl took her half sister into her bedroom, then locked the door, and stabbed her three times on the chest, then, called the cops.

The seventeen year old girl, Hsu, seemingly displeased at how her father took home her three year-old half sister with his whore home to raise, and took away the love from him, two nights ago, she’d locked her bedroom doors from the inside, stabbed her half sister three times to death, then called the police, and the juvenile courts took custody of her.

The great uncle of the young girl stated, that the adolescent girl’s father many years ago, met the person whom he had an affair with, three years ago, had a baby girl, and after the father gained the forgiveness from his wife, he’d adopted the young girl, took her home to raise; even so, the wife still treated the child as if she were her own, loved her a lot, and would take her everywhere she goes, and, people would think that the little girl was the wife’s child.

The police said, that the child is turning three in just three days; as she was being interrogate, the adolescent was more than calm, and had answered the police officers’ inquiries, and stated that there had been many times she’d wanted to kill her half sister, but the adults took it as joke, and didn’t pay attention to her.

The youth said, that killing her younger sister was a spurt of the moment thing, that it wasn’t planned, she was just displeased at how her parents loved her father’s whore’s child dearly, “the love they had for me is now, being given to her instead”, she’d lost her parents’ attention for long term, that, was what made her want to kill, because she didn’t have an outlet for her troubled mind.

The police investigated, that Hsu’s father, older brother, and grandmother went to the night markets to sell things two nights ago, the mother was in the living room, on the phone, she’d taken her younger sister into her grandmother’s room on the first floor and locked the doors from the inside, then, took the fruit carving knife from her school and stabbed her younger half sister, then, she’d called the police.

After Hsu’s mother finished up talking on the phones, she’d found her daughter, locked herself up in the bedroom, and said that she would NOT open up until the police arrived, the mother felt that something must have happened, called the adolescent’s father home.  The father, as he saw the quilt, stained with his own illegitimate daughter’s blood, went limp, the mother couldn’t believe that her own daughter had killed her baby sister, and she’d passed out from the pains.

The Yunlin District Court examined that the child had three knife wounds on her left thoracic area, and the stab wound into the heart was what killed her.  As the stabbing was happening, the family didn’t hear any screams, the D.A. said, that the girl managed to stab her baby sister into the heart by the first stab, and before the child could hollered, she’d died.

The child’s great uncle said, that the adolescent didn’t get along well with her, and that the child had once told the adults, that when they were away, the big sister would pinch her, hit her.  The neighbors said, that the little girl was cut and lovable, that only on the weekends, did she go back to her birth mother.

And, this adolescent girl killed from JEALOUSY, and, because the parents didn’t DEAL with the matter delicate enough, and so, that was why the teen felt that the daughter from his father’s WHORE was there, to take away the love her parents had for her.

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For Thirty-Five Years, a Mother Never Gave a DAMN About Her Own Son, and Now, She’d Fallen Ill, She’d Filed for Her Poor Son to Care for Her

And so what RIGHT have you, to ask that kid you’d ABANDONED, to take care of you?  Exactly, and yet, this is still happening, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Wang, thirty-five years ago, left her husband and abandoned her children, married someone else, and now, she’s found to have multiple debilitating conditions, and living in poverty, she’d asked her younger son, to pay $15,000N.T. as alimony to her, to make her life better, the woman’s son stated, that his father is elderly now, his wife has cancer, and his older brother is diagnosed with schizophrenia too, and he has three kids of his own that he needed to care for, and, everybody in the house relied on his $30,000N.T. monthly wages to live, and, the mother who’d abandoned him back then, came out of the blue, and asked him to pay for her livelihood, he just couldn’t accept this.

The Shihlin District Courts believed, that when Wang divorced, she’d neglected to even bother to ask about how her children were, and so, the judge said that the son didn’t need to pay for the mother’s care.

Wang originally married her husband, Jiang, twenty-five years ago, she divorced, and then, remarried.  She stated, that she had surgery on her left hand, couldn’t work, had been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome, along with other illnesses, and now, she lives with a friend, and is having a hard time getting by.  Last May, Wang had filed for alimony payments from her children.

She said, based off of the statistical department, the monthly expenses of a person in the city of Taipei is a little over $25,000N.T., and she’d only asked her second son for $15,000N.T., that’s not being unreasonable.

The mother who’d gone missing thirty-five years ago, and showed up and asked him for alimony, the second son felt awful, and, Jiang said, that his father is already seventy-nine years old, his older brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and his wife with laryngeal cancer, and his three kids are still young and in school; he’s making $30,000N.T. per month as a chef, and, he shouldered all the living expenses, “I could barely make ends meet, and I’m supposed to pay her alimony?”

Hearing her son’s words, Wang changed her words, “I don’t expect you to take care of me”, but hoped that the social services department would offer her some assistance.  The judge believed, that Wang didn’t have a justified reason, and she’d abandoned her children, not even showed an inkling of care or concern, that she had lost the case.

And so, in this case, because the mother never gave a FUCK (oopsy!!!) about her children, and now she’d fallen ill, she wanted him to take care of her?  The son was already barely surviving, with HIS chef’s wages, and, he not only has to take care of his own nuclear family, he still had to look AFTER his older brother, and his aging father, and his three young kids are still ALL in school, and, all of that compiled on top, how the HECK can he possibly also keep the mother who’d never even gave a FUCK about him in his younger years?  No wonder the judge ruled that the woman lost.

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A Life Wasted Away on Plans

His was, a life wasted away on plans, for he’d been making plans ever since he was little, because that, was what his parents raised him by, and he never even realized, that making those stupid plans actually interfered with how his life was supposed to go…

A life wasted away on plans, it’s really very sad, from birth, to going to school, graduating college, getting into grad school, graduating grad school, going into the world, finding a job, finding a wife or a husband, and having tons of little DEMONIC kids, and then what?  You lie in your beds and WAIT for death?

A life wasted away on plans, think how many things you can experience, had you NOT squandered ALL that precious time away on making those god DAMN plans, and, did any of your plans actually worked out?  Of course N-O-T!!!

A life wasted away on plans, that would be how you’d lived, NOT how I will BE living from here on out, because I’d made plans, and, in the end, fate still won out, and so now, I let fate take charge of the wheel, and I’m still riding, on the passenger side, enjoying the scenes as they (the scenes???) flew quickly by………

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