Category Archives: Parenting/Parenthood

When the Child Wants to Go to School without Her Parents’ Company

The kid is declaring HER independence, the FIRST step, translated…

Q: Ming-Ming in the fifth grade no longer wanted her mom to pick her up and drop her off at school anymore…

Although there’s no problem with the safety in Taiwan, but, there would still be instances where children are kidnapped.  There was a construction site nearby, and, a ton of different people go in and out of the area, Mrs. Huang worries for her daughter, Ming-Ming’s safety as she goes out, so, even if Ming-Ming is already in the fifth grade, she’d still picked her up to and from school, as well as taking her daughter to the cram schools, to this date, the mother had never allowed Ming-Ming to fly solo.  But, recently, Ming-Ming started stating how she wanted to head out by herself, and, Mrs. Huang knew that one day, she will have to let her daughter fly solo, but, she’s confused, at when is the right time, for her to let go.

A Not About Independence, But, One Day, the Parents Must Let Go

The CEO of the Professional Development Center for Growth, the elementary school instructor, Lee, from Bei-Hsin Elementary School, pointed out, that now, the families are having less and less children, most of the families only had one child, and, the parents hovered over them, feared that there would be issues of traffic and safety, and the rates of parents picking the kids up to and from school are higher, compared to the past years.

The Distance Mattered

The observations of parents chauffeuring the kids to and from school, and, one would notice, that in the first and second grades, it’s very normal, but, by the time the kids get to third or fourth grades, they can already walk to school on their own.  But, all the families are different, there are kids who are in college, and still gets taken to and from school by the parents.

Lee stated, that sometimes the parents picking the kids up has nothing to do with whether or not the children ARE independent, instead, it has more to do with the distance between home and school.  She’d sated, that there are small schools in the city of Taipei, most are close to the homes of the students, it would take a short walk to get to school, the parents would naturally, feel securer, to let the kids go to school on their own; but, not in the city of Hsinbei, the schools are huge, and, far from the homes, and, it may take up to twenty minutes for the kids to get to the schools, the parents didn’t want the kids to tire out, and would rather ride their motorcycles, to chauffeur their kids to school, and, there are other cities and counties, with this sort of trend too.

Cherished the Time They Shared in the Car

The parenting expert, Mom Mee said, that from before when they lived in Tainan, there is a long distance between her home and the kids’ schools, she’d played classical music in her car on the way to school, so the kids could feel soothed, she’d utilized the time they shared in the car, to carry on in conversations with her young.  To her, as the children grow older, the time they have with each other became less and less, she’d cherished this time together, and, enjoyed it too, the kids also felt very happy, and, became expectant when she’d picked them up.

Mom Mee said, if as the parents picked up the kids, they’d started nagging about homework, or kept ranting, the children may become defiant toward that, and she’d suggested that as parents picked up the kids, they should communicate with their young.

Mom Mee said, some of the kids would want the parents to pick them up all the time, but, when the kids wanted to strike out on their own, the parents can let go slowly, to let the kids fly solo for a short while, to try it for a couple of days first, then, decide whether or not the kids are fitting, to go farther on their own.

Not Letting the Child be Alone on Her/His Own

Mom Mee and Ya-Jing Lee both pointed out, that when the kids entered into the middle school, they’d become insistent on going to school on their own, and not wanting the parents to pick them up anymore.  Mom Mee said, the children in the teenage years cared a lot about what their peers say about them, seeing how the other classmates could go to and from school on their own, but, the parents are still picking them up to and fro, the children would not like it.

When her child was in the fifth grade, the other kids of her class started asking her to walk to and from school together as a group, she’d also let go, but, every family IS different, and, letting go is reliant on the parents’ and the kids’ attitude, as well as the distance from the school to the homes.

One day, the parents WILL let go.  Lee said, that if you’re allowing your child to go to and from school on her/his own, do remember, to remind the children not to be alone, the parents can take the kids on the paths a couple of times, to understand the traffic conditions, and pick the routes, and, remind the kids to watch the traffic as they cross the roads, if someone is stalking the children, they can duck out in the shops close to the schools, if someone asks the child for directions, the child only needed to point the way, and not lead the stranger to where s/he wanted to head to.

This, is What You Can Do…Tell Your Worries to Your Children

Mrs. Huang drops off and picks up Ming-Ming to and from school, but, Ming-Ming said she wanted to go on her own, Mrs. Huang could use empathy, to explain her own worries to her daughter, because the roads near her house is under construction, she’s more worried about the traffic, so, that, is why she’ll be taking Ming-Ming to school, and, she can also emphasize to Ming-Ming, that if she heads out on her own, she must watch the roads.

Mrs. Huang, if she is to let Ming-Ming go to and from school on her own, she must watch for her own safety, as well as the traffic.

If Mrs. Huang wanted to let Ming-Ming go to school on her own, she could drop her off close to the school first, let her daughter walk the shorter way, then, after Ming-Ming learns to watch out for herself, then, let go.

And so, we have, worrisome parents, who are unwilling to let the child go, and, the child wanted to go, which signifies that she wanted her own independence, and the mother here, is having troubles, letting go, and, it is NOT about independence at all, it’s about the parents’ inabilities to let their kids go.

An Overly Active Child Became Calmer Because of Reading

The experiences of life, from someone, translated…

My son had always been hyperactive when he was younger, and would not head to bed, until, he’d drained himself of ALL his energies completely every single night, I, being his primary caretaker, often felt too tired to chase him around.

When my child was around two when he’d learned to talk, whenever I’d had the time, I’d sat him on my lap, held on to his fingers, picked up the picture books, and, as he’d pointed to each of the Chinese characters, I’d read it aloud to him, sometimes, when he was playing with his toys, I’d read to him too.  Even though, he didn’t seem like he was listening, but, his brain had become a sponge, and started soaking up the things I’d read to him already.

Once, I’d told my son, “Jun-Yi, go wash your hands.”  He’d replied, “Clean up the hands, so I can cook”, it was so shocking to me.  Ever since, the child who couldn’t recognize the characters can read the words aloud, while flipping through the picture books.

As my child was in his last year of kindergarten, I’d subscribed to the “Chinese Weekly”, and, my son slowly used the phonetic spellings to read, and after he’d read, he’d shared with me the stories, and the comics he’d thumbed across.  When he’d entered into the first grade, I’d changed the subscriptions to “Chinese Daily Papers for the Children”, my son could now, read, independently, with the phonetic spellings now.  In the second grade, he became taken with “Journey to the West”, and, modeled the Monkey King as if he WERE the Monkey King; in the third grade, he was taken with the Warring Nations, read a ton of the varied versions of the tale, but, he’d still read it for pure enjoyment, once, I’d asked him, if we could give the books he’d read away to someone else?  He’d firmly answered, “NO, I’m saving these books for my own kids.”

This overly active child, rather than reading the books for fun, still didn’t focus his mind on his homework assignments, and, in school, while he was sitting in class, his mind was somewhere else, in the stories he’d read already.  Acted up in class, wanted all the attention of others, he’d become the main characters of the stories he’d read, to the point that he was seemingly possessed by the stories, he was, the top problematic student of his class.  There was nothing else I can do, but to transfer him to another school, and start taking him to school daily, without his playmates, it’d given this child with difficulties concentrating a cleared learning environment.

My child was a changed kid in this brand new environment, everything started from zero.  He is now, the teacher’s little helper, the smart child in all of his classmates’ views, and, took up the role of the cleaning master and cultural education helper of his class, compared to the problematic student he was, it’s like he’d become, TWO different persons.

Now my child is in the higher grades of the elementary years, he still doesn’t have any afterschool program, every day after school as he’d come home, he’d done his homework, then, worked on his workbooks, he’d insisted on reading the papers still, and, I’d allowed the newspaper articles to turn into another way of education for him, and, we’d have discussions of what he’d read.  Although he’s only midrange in his class in the matter of grades, but, having the good habits of reading daily had helped him become a well-rounded student who knows a LOT outside of the textbooks, and, his character made up for his not doing well on his tests too.

And from this, you can still see how IMPORTANT reading is, it’d helped this kid who was disruptive, who was overactive calm down, and, it’d helped enriched his knowledge base, and, this mom started her child on the reading track, when he was just two years old, by reading the books to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abuse, Cause & Effect, Letting Go, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

Through Play, We Observe…

This, is how we do it!

Through play, we observe, because playing IS work, for children who are very young, and, because they LACKED the verbal communication skills to tell you, the ADULTS what is happening in their lives, that, is why, you, stupid (because that, is what you ALL are!!!) parents need to be keeping an eye on how your kids are playing.

For instance, if your baby boys are becoming more and more violent with their cars, causing a TON of CRASHES, or getting that eighteen-wheeler to turn OVER a lot, then, that should be a SIGNAL to you, but, do you notice?  No!  besides, you are so god DAMN fucking busy, with your own lives.

Or, how when your little girls started spanking their dolls on the bums, and call them “BAD!”, or how when your little girls tear those head off those Barbie Dolls, that, is NOT normal playing, and that merely means, that they’d experienced something awful, bore witness, to something AWFUL, that they can’t tell you about!

Through play, we observe, but, we can’t, we get side-tracked by that cell phone that’s ringing, and, we can’t turn off those i-Pads or whatever, because we’re all, TRACKING the “movements” of those so-called “friends” we have on FB.  Through play, we observe, and we understand, what, exactly the children ARE telling us, without using ANY form of verbal communication, but, do we, pay enough attention?  HECK no!  Nobody EVER paid ANY attention when I was FUCKING those dolls of my childhood, and, that, was how I’d DIED, a very, very, VERY long time ago, and here I still am, bringing about AWARENESS, on HOW you all need to be BETTER parents, and, am I a mommy?  Hell no!  And besides, my EMILY had been DEAD, since 2008………

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Filed under Being Alone, Being Exposed, Childhood, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Innocence Lost, Loss, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Wake Up Calls

First Time Abroad

Translated…

Every time I’d read articles on the papers about how parents let go of their young, so their young to go off abroad, I’d felt especially moved.  Because I too, am among those who were blessed, to have this sort of wonderful parents.

Remembering how when I’d hauled out my luggage, and was about to take that trip abroad, I was only a freshman from college.  I’d just gotten approved for the foreign exchange program, and, I’d started getting anxious.  I’d thought to myself: this would be BAD, a “strawberry” was about to head out on her own?  Can I do it?  Comparing, my parents had full confidences toward my abilities, from the application process, to the moment I was about to depart, they’d given me complete support.  And so, with an unsettled heart, I’d left the familiar Taiwan.

But, the moment I’d set out, it was trouble.  On the transfer flights, all the flights were grounded, because of a snowstorm.  In an unfamiliar place, and, it was, a non-English speaking nation, what, am I to do?  Seeing how the time on the monitor keep on delaying, the transfer time for my flight had slid right past.  This, is truly bad!  I’d hauled my luggage, and started panicking, I’d dialed home subconsciously.  The moment my father picked up, I’d started crying.  “Can I come home?”, I’d said, with this nasally voice.  On the other end of the line, my father encouraged me, “don’t worry, be strong, you CAN do it!”

And so, I’d put up my tears, and started thinking of ways, to contact the counter of the airlines, and charade with my broken English, confirmed that latest status of the flights.  With the courage from my father’s words, through the difficult trials, I’d finally arrived at the nation, and, successfully, finished my coursework as a foreign exchange student.

Many years later, it’d dawned on me, my parents were very worried about me being a foreign exchange student, especially my father.  But seeing how I’d gone on my dumb force, with the urge of striking out on my own, he could only put up his worries, and became my strong backup, gave me complete support.  And, even later, did I realize, that that phone call from the airport had caused my father to stay worried for several days afterwards, he couldn’t eat, or sleep because of it.

Actually, as children of my generation, we didn’t have to worry about anything economically, which caused us to doubt our own abilities when we’re about to leave home, and to the point of panicky and helpless.  But, thanks to the parents, who had given us their warm and steady shoulders to lean on, to bravely, push the kids forward, and only took up that safe harbor to their kids.

It’s so nice to have you guys!

So, this is from the support of her father, and the father didn’t SHOW that he was worried about the daughter, just kept being the strong support for her, and that, is how a good father shows support for his offspring.

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Filed under Letting Go, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, The Declarations of Independence

The Baby Stayed Awake the Entire Night, on Parent-Child Interactions

These first years, are always the HARDEST to get through, aren’t they???  Translated…

At three in the morning, I was awakened, by the sound of the baby crying, the living room lights were turned on, my daughter held her one month old son, hung her head in defeat, with this listlessness in her eye, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him?  He just wouldn’t sleep the entire night.”

My daughter who’s completely drained said in a hoarse voice, my heart wrenched for her, I’d held my arms out, wanted to share her load, she’d taken her arms back toward herself, said bashfully, “I can’t!  Mom, you still have to work tomorrow, he’s about to fall asleep soon.”  Then, at eight in the morning, as I was heading out, the two of them still hadn’t slept a wink.

My daughter came home for the month-long recovery after birth, I’m naturally pleased, during the day time, I’d hired someone, to make the specialty food items for her, and, during the evenings, my daughter would take over the looking after of her son, when I have the spare time, I’d helped her warm up the bottles, feed my grandson, change his diapers.  Seeing the bottles, the plates, the bowls are piling up in the kitchen sinks, I’d wanted to help my daughter alleviate her stress from having to handle so much.  But, having a bad back, and I hadn’t held a child for thirty years, my body started to feel sore all over, and, the mother’s wrist had, turned into, grandmother’s wrist now, and I couldn’t tell my daughter what was going on, as she’s already stressed out about how her breasts are bloated every single day, and her son crying all the time.

I’d often believed, that having extra pairs of hands means getting the extra help, I’d often asked my son who’s in graduate school, to help his older sister out rom time to time; but, to my son, unfortunately, video games are taking over his life, no matter how I ushered him to, he still wouldn’t move at all.  Even if his young nephew’s cries are about to bring down the roof, as an uncle, he’d turned DEAF, gotten locked into the virtual, fighting world.  In the end, as the grandmother, I couldn’t hold my horses anymore, I’d held up my grandson, to soothe him, and I’d disregarded the advices of those parenting experts altogether.

Every day, I’d hoped that time could fly, because as my grandson sleeps, he’d become an angel, but, when he woke, he’d become this crying devil.  I hope, that my grandson can grow up safely, so, his first-time mom, and his first-time grandma can successfully get through this first year that marched so slowly.

The first years are always NOT easy, because the baby would cry endlessly, and, because you’re new at this parenting thing, you’re more than likely to develop problems such as postpartum depression and other problems, and this time, the mother feels helpless, because there’s NOTHING that she can do, to help her daughter, alleviate the stress from taking care of her own child.

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Filed under Family Matters, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle

From When Her Son with Cerebral Palsy Was Three, She’d Accompanied Him in His Studies, for Twenty Years on End

The devotions of a mother, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

There was a mother-son pair at the Sales Majors of Shu-De Technical University, the son was Han-Wen Lee, with cerebral palsy, the mother was his accompanying study partner, Li-Hua Yo; from when her son was in the early intervention programs at age three, all the way to his college years, the mother would come to class to help her son in class, looking after her child, it’s the most beautiful scene on the campus.

Yo said, that her son was a premature baby, stayed in the incubator for two months, later on, the doctors confirmed the diagnosis of cerebral palsy.  Her son is of normal intelligence and she feared that isolating him will cause him to not learn as well, insisted on placing his son in the normal classes; for this, she’d quit her job as a receipts person at the hotels, and started accompanying her son full-time, all the way, to college.

As her son’s study partner, Yo and her son would sit in the front row each and every time there’s a class, and the mother became the “eldest” member of the class.  They’d never missed a session of class, upon entering into college, the mother was even MORE studious than her own son, she said, that on the one hand, this made up for how she wasn’t able to go to college, and, as she’d returned home, she could help her son in his studies.

Lee sits in the wheelchair, is immobilized, his hands, bent out of shape, other than being his mother, Yo also worked as his physical therapist, and tutor, would help work her son’s hands and feet, also helped him with his homework assignments too, “It’s an affinity, he became our child, and we must care for him”, “So long as his body doesn’t deteriorate, it would be an improvement.”

Yo would keep watch over her son, but, in middle school, her son’s classmates still threw trash on him, he was bullied, and, although Yo felt heart wrenching, she didn’t scream at them, “children are normally rebellious in the middle school years, rather than scolding them, teaching them the right way would be a better approach.”

The professor from the Sales Major of the Technical University, Huang said, that Mrs. Lee would drive her son to and from school every single day, moving him to and from class, guys their built would feel it was difficult, but she’d never complained, nor had she ever raised her voice at her son.”  Lee who was sitting close by said, “It’s just her luck!”, it’d made Yo laugh.

A fellow classmate, Cho said, that Mrs. Lee would help her son take notes, and, would encourage him to participate in class too, and sometimes, when Han-Wen could answer, the rest of the class couldn’t, they felt ashamed of themselves.  Lin, another classmate said, that Mrs. Lee not only took care of her son in class, she’d also treated the other members of the class who are handicapped, as if they were her own too.

There was a case where the parent killed his own son with cerebral palsy, Yo was deeply touched by the story, she said, the children wouldn’t want to be like this also, the parents MUST accept them as they are, so can the rest of the world.

And so, this mother had positive views, although her son has this condition, she’d not given up on him, instead, she’d made it her responsibilities to accompany him, and that, is the heart, of a wonderful mother.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Child Development/Education of Children, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Choices, College Life, Expectations, Life, News Stories, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life

A Hug from His Mom, the Autistic Son Stopped Throwing His Temper Tantrums

From the Newspapers, translated…

With the coming of Mother’s Day, the district offices yesterday hosted a celebration, to commend twenty-five mothers who are role models.  Of them, Liu, who once worked for the banking industries quit her job many years ago, so she could focus wholeheartedly, on caring for her autistic son, Rich.

Liu said, because Rich couldn’t articulate well, every time when he couldn’t get what he’d wanted, he’d thrown his temper tantrums.  At first, her moods are affected by her son’s behaviors too, and she’d gotten angered, or punished him.  But once, she’d held down her temper, gave her son, a great big hug, and, it’d, calmed him down a lot.  She’d used her own example, encouraged other parents with disabled children, to make themselves into role models for their offspring, to not give up.

And so, this, is all because a mother, wanting to help make her child feel better, and, in the beginning, because she didn’t know how to respond to her son’s tantrums, she’d gotten agitated too, without realizing, that children are going to pick up subtle signals from the parents, but, after she’d figured it out, she’d kept her calm, and, her son was also, affected by the mother’s behaviors, so, he remained calm as well.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives

Helping the Child Follow Her/His Passions and Areas of Interests

How the “experts” do it, raising their young, that is, translated…

The associate professor from Donghua University of the literature major, Yang has a son and a daughter, she and her husband, Wei, both don’t like restricting their children, hoped that their offspring can have the freedom to grow, to develop freely, so, the two of them, through reading, to help their kids who are totally different, who have difficulties, adjusting to learning in the systems, into a child who can think on her own, and the other child, from having a lax of confidence, to being brave to strike out abroad on his own.

Difficulties Adapting in the Systems

The older brother of the two kids, Yang Wei enjoys reading since he was very young, the friends and families described him as “having his nose stuck in a book”, but, being so multitalented from before school age, after he’d entered into the elementary schools, he had difficulties, adjusting, adapting to the system.

Yang Wei can read the words on the newspapers, but couldn’t understand the phonetic spelling markers, plus, once he’d taken to drawing insects on the floor, he couldn’t hear the bell ring, thus, he became a “troublemaker” in his teachers’ views, Yang described the hardships she’d gone through with the teachers at her son’s school, just prayed that her son could “sail through the elementary years without any difficulties”.

During that time, Yang and her husband accompanied their son, as he immersed himself in reading, and they’d discovered that he was interested in history, and had placed the historical tales into his reading list, and, the reading abilities that were accumulated from years before, had helped their son shine in middle school.

But, the same methods of allowing their son to develop freely, with only enough interventions, it’d had the opposite effect on their daughter, Wei Wei.

Traveling to Find the Changes

Wei Wei is five years younger than her older brother, enjoyed exercising her imaginations, is intelligent, had a smooth ride in the elementary years, and comparing to Yang Wei’s learning processes, Yang felt that it was, heaven-sent, but, as Wei Wei went on to middle school, the academic pressures became too great, and, she had difficulties, defining herself, and lost ALL her self-confidence, it’d made her mom, Tsuei Yang sad and anxious, and, she’d regretted that she should’ve become two different moms to her two kids, using two separate ways to educate them.

In the last year of her middle school year, Tsuei Yang encouraged her daughter to take after her older brother, to go to a homestay family in the U.S. and study for a year, and, because the new environment gave her a new look at things, after Wei Wei returned, she’d truly made a change to herself, and found her self-confidence back too.

Tsuei Yang is busy, accompanying her own graduate students, preparing for lectures, and giving lectures, all over the places, in the time when she’d taught at the universities in Taichung, Tainan, and Hualien, she’d mentored at least thirty grad students, but she said, that no matter how busy she got, she’d taken the time, to become a “mother who was present”, accompanying her kids, as they grow older.

Don’t Pressure the Children

“We’re a family that gets lost in conversations together”, from when Yang Wei had his first girlfriend in the elementary years, and took the love letters to his mother and asked him, “Women ARE unpredictable, aren’t they?”, she had started having long conversations at nights, discussions of writing, of literature, knowledge with her kids at home.

And, when the daughter Wei Wei was in high school, she’d done badly in her history courses, and, being a history major, Tsuei Yang took over teaching her, and outlined the three years of high school level history texts, and slowly, explained it to her daughter, becoming her own child’s tutor.

“It’s easy, for a child to lost her/his self-confidence, but, it’s really difficult to help her/him build it back up again.”, and now, Wei Wei would get close to her dad, hold his hands, tell him how much she misses him, and had found a stage where she excelled in, in learning.

Tsuei Yang’s understanding from her children’s lives is, the same environments, the same way of instructing, although the process was grueling and hard, but, not pressuring children, allowing them to take time to learn, it eventually helps the children develop the passions in their own lives, as well as their own independences.

And so, this, is still a trial by error, because the two kids are different from each other, as NO two persons in this world are clones, the mother found a way, to teach both her kids effectively, by giving the children what they’d needed from her, and, she spent a lot of time, connecting with her children too, that, is very important also.

 

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

The Purpose of Bedtime Stories

The purpose of bedtime stories, is, to CONNECT with your children, before they go to bed, and, believe it or don’t, and you had BETTER believe it, your kids are looking forward to, this special time shared with you, after all, you’d worked all day long, and now, you’re finally home, it’s only natural, that they want your total and undivided attention, your focus on them.

Bedtime stories not only benefit the children, it also gives the adults time to breathe, to take a load off, to put the mind on hold for a short bit, because, in telling your kids those bedtime stories, you get to, temporarily forget about how people are trash-talking one another, stabbing each other in the back in your working environment, and, it also helps you take a break, from ALL the ills of the world you’d encountered throughout your day.

The purpose of bedtime stories, is MORE than to put your kids to sleep, after all, they WILL all, fall asleep, eventually, but, by taking the time, to read to them, you’re showing them, that they’re, important to you, that they’re among, the top priorities in your lives, which will, boost their self-confidence, because their mommies and daddies actually cared enough about them, to take the time, to read them their bedtime stories.

So, don’t forget, the next time you’re tucking your kids in, DO read to them, and, don’t forget those kisses, as they should always BE, initiated by you, the parents, not the kids!

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Filed under Connections, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values

My Son’s Bliss Deposits

On the education of children, translated…

When my son was still in kindergarten, once I’d gone to the banks for an errand, there was a promotion on “Making Deposits of Happiness for the Young”, on using the name of one’s children, open up an account, encouraging the parents to deposit the money the kids received for red envelopes, into this account, to accumulate up the “bliss” for the children.

This idea was fresh to me, back then, my son was still way too young, and, ALL the money he’d received as red envelopes from relatives, elders, and friends had all ended up, in our pockets, and, we don’t know how much was received exactly, if we could open up an account with my son’s name, then, deposit the moneys from the red envelopes he’d received in there, that way, his money will accumulate, then, in the future, we can use the money in the accounts for his allowances, so, why not!

Without realizing, that this decision had become, my son’s first lesson in financial management, my son knew earlier, compared to children his age group, that it’s better to place the money into the banks, than in the piggy banks, because the money in the banks will grow (with the interests).  Waited until my son grows older, when he started needing allowances, his “Happiness Deposit” started working.  No matter what the amount, I’d taken him to withdraw it out of his “Happiness Deposit Account”, then, taught him to make a note, of how his money was spent.

Like keeping the books, to let my son know, where his money went, especially, it’d increased his awareness of where his money went, so he wouldn’t spend it listlessly.

And now, he’d often taken out his bank deposit books, to discuss us with how he wanted to spend his money, and, he’d learned, to separate the “needs” from the “wants” too.

So, financial sense should start young too, just like everything else, isn’t it?  Because this parent realized the importance, of teaching her son to manage HIS own money, that, was why she’d helped him set up an account at the banks, and, this instilled that sense of financial planning in the young child’s mind, and, this helped him to be more careful with his money, and, he is, way mature in the areas of financial knowledge, compared to his peers too.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Child Development/Education of Children, Early Exposures, Lessons, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Values

The Children & Families Fund Organization Recognized Twenty-Four Amazing Mothers, the Grandmother Worked Three Jobs, Raised Up Eight Grandchildren on Her Own

Acknowledgements here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“Eight grandkids and NOT one less!”, the sixty-six year old, Ji-Mei Liang, her three sons all died one by one, because of cancer, she’d worked three jobs, worked over ten hours a day, managed to raise up eight grandkids all on her own, “I can’t fall down, my grandkids need me!”, as Liang told her tale, tears had stained her wrinkle-filled face.

The Taiwan Fund for Children & Families yesterday awarded the most hard working mothers nationwide, of the twenty-four recipients of the award, there were grandmothers, fathers who acted as mothers, there were those who had gone through deaths in the family, abandonments too, mothers who used their lives, to stabilized a family.

Liang had divorced from her husband for over thirty years, her three sons all passed away, and her daughters-in-law all left too, dealing with over millions of dollars of debts, and the responsibilities for taking care of her eight grandchildren, she didn’t have the time for grief at all.

Every morning at four, Liang got up, headed out, sold the rice balls, in the noon hours, as well as in the evenings, she’d gone to the cafeterias to work, during her spare time, she’d sold chili peppers.  Because of her limited income, she’d gone to the nearby schools, to have the leftovers from the free school lunches provided for the children there, and, at night, she’d taken the leftovers home from the cafeteria she worked in.

Life is really hard, but Liang never complained, “Hearing the laughter of my grandchildren, all my fatigue, my worries are gone, instantaneously.”  Liang never used a high-pressure method to teach her grandchildren, “I’m like my grandchildren’s friend”.  The grandson, Liang said, grandma would always cook fresh foods for us, and ate the left overs, “I hope grandma never eat the leftovers again, she needs to take care of herself.”

The single father, Dong, from Lukai tribe who raised his daughter and son up, was the only male who’d won the award.  Because of polio, he was left immobilized, plus his wife left with their eldest daughter, leaving behind the two and three year old younger children back then, he felt beaten, and had gotten drunk every single day.

One day, he’d found his youngest daughter gone, was too worried, and, he’d learned, that it was the Social Services that took her away.  He got the wake up call, that if he kept numbing himself out with alcohol, he will, lose ALL of his kids, he’d pulled himself up, took just one month, to get sober, learned to feed using bottles, change diapers, and was successful, in getting his youngest daughter back with him.

“Every child is a treasure, how can we just throw one away, and not take care of her/him?”, Jia-Jen Deng has seven children, six had handicapped manuals, her husband, because of failed business ventures, they were once so poor they couldn’t afford rent, in just one year, they were forced to move, four times.  She’d shouldered up the household economics, made deliveries until two in the morning to the marketplaces, during the noon hours and in the evenings, she’d delivered the meals, she’d only rested for just five hours each and every day.  For the sake of her family’s health, she’d learned to make healthy breads, and started a bakery, with the assistance of the Fund for Children & Families Organization.

And so, these, are the inspirational tales, of how the families made their ends meet, and, all of these people rightfully deserved the recognitions they’re receiving, for weathering through the hardships of their lives, and still standing tall.

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