Category Archives: Maturation

the Process of Growing Up, the Trials One Faces in Coming of Age

Sick of Y-O-U, and SICK of Your Dreams

I’m just, sick of Y-O-U, and sick of your dreams, you’d never allowed me to have my own dreams, just forced your god DAMN dreams that you weren’t able to live up to earlier, onto me!

Sick of Y-O-U, and SICK of your dreams, but, there’s NOTHING I can do, as I still needed you very much, and os, guess I’ll just, have to, allow you, to RUN my life a bit longer then.  Sick of Y-O-U, and SICK of your dreams, I want to cut, to sever my ties from you, but, each and every time I’d tried, you’d give me some BOGUS shit like: blood IS thicker than blood, or whatever, and I’d allowed you to, CONTROL me all over again.

Sick of Y-O-U, sick of your dreams, I know, I must get away from you, but, I can’t, because, you’d given me breath, given me my heartrate, and what?  I’m just supposed to, OWE you now, is that it?

Sick of Y-O-U, sick of your dreams, just wish that there is a way, I can, to get away, from your controlling ways, but, I can’t find one, and, I’m just, NOT going to allow you to control me ever again!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Maturation, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Self-Images, Wake Up Calls

Shipwrecked

Going Through the Trials of One’s Life…

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Filed under Maturation, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

When Will You Finally See the Woman I Had Become…

Yeah, that’ll be the day, that PIG got them wings, and started, taking OFF, from those separate slaughterhouses all right…

When will you finally see the woman I had become?  Been growing, in front of your eyes, and yet, not even ONCE, did you EVER take notice, and, you were, my parent too!

When will you finally SEE the woman I had become?  Oh yeah, forgot, it’d be, the LAST day of N-E-V-E-R, and seeing how, NEVER is not yet closing in, well, it’s still not “here” yet, and I’m just, tired, AND weary, of waiting, for you, to finally SEE me as IS.

When will you finally see the woman I had become, oh yeah, my bad, you won’t, because you WERE (that’s still IN the PAST tense???) my parent, and yet, you’d NEVER fulfilled the roles of a good and loving parent that I’d needed growing up, and yet, I’d still, grown up just the same.

When will you finally see the woman I had become, well, tell you what, I’d given up, on ALL hopes that you will EVER see me AS is, and, it’s all because I grew up around you, and so, that’s caused you, to have your minds SET up about me, which makes you blind, to the FACT, that I am, already, a REAL, LIVE W-O-M-A-N here!!!

So guess what, I Q-U-I-T, and, don’t EVEN bother, filing MY “two-weeks’ notice” either, ‘k???  Yeah, uh-huh………

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Maturation, Observations, Properties of Life, Socialization, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Class, Let’s Go Find Us Some Girls

Translated…

Back in school, a group of us, hormone-raging boys getting together, and the topics of our discussion are already on girls, and, the conclusions of our discussions are always, “I want to get me a girl!”.  And, we can’t EVER get that innocent mindset of our seventeenth year back again, the girls are so leisurely, like creatures from another planet, what, are they all thinking of?

And now, my daughter is in college, plus I’d taught for over twenty years, my female students would often share with me what’s on their minds, and, I’d finally learned, that most of the boys had missed the BUS.

A very good looking, and economically well-off female student, after she had a rough marriage, she’d sighed, “If I’d only had the wisdom on mate selection, then, my life will not get stuck here.”

“If you can have your youth to do over again, what qualities would you look for in a man?”, I was curious.

With a daughter already, past age thirty, the female student said, with this set tone of voice, “Someone who gives habitually.”

“The habit of giving?”

“Yes, I worked with my ex, he’s good looking, I felt, that he was someone I could rely on, but, I didn’t expect, that he’d be so selfish to give to me.”

“But, before you wed, guys usually mask up their bad qualities, how would you be able to tell, if he’s the giving kind?”

“Teacher, I’d found that you can watch his interaction with his friends, a selfish man wouldn’t have that many real friends, after I wed, I’d realized, that my ex had only coworkers, and, he had barely, NO friends he could talk to.”

Last week, as I’d gone to visit my wife’s eldest sister, both families, with college age girls, we’d started talking about mate-selection, my eldest sister-in-law mentioned a similar standard to what my female student mentioned—look at how he’s getting along with his families.  “A guy who is hovered over by his kin probably couldn’t keep a good relationship with his wife later on, because his wife becomes his closest of kin.”, my wife’s eldest sister-in-law continued, “people are creatures of habit, a person who’s used to being looked after couldn’t start looking after someone else after s/he wed.”

I’d recalled the four brothers that we are, of my third eldest, he’s the most hardworking, although he was diagnosed with cancer, but, after he’d returned to the workforce, he was able to attract my third sister-in-law who’s quite good looking and a great catch.  Later on, the two of them worked together, started up a company of their own, and now, they own four separate companies.  Turns out, that the good habits of your younger years, not only will they feed to the blessings from work in the future, it could also help you find the love that lasts for life.

My college age girlfriend is now, taken up with a boy, my wife asked me why I’m not at all worried, I’d smiled and answer, “I had done my ‘investigation’, that boy had gone to work at construction sites with alongside his dad, he’d helped built the MRT stations in Taipei too, plus, he’s very kind toward his families, and my heart is at ease with this kind of habitually giving to others kind of guy.”

Of course, a love that allows people to give their lives for, is a never-ending coursework in life, my daughter, as well as my own student, they both have a long way to go.  But, as a father, and a teacher too, I’d hoped, that the male students won’t keep making the same mistakes when they were younger.  Life is a long and winding river, with enough energies saved up, it will surely, merge with another huge river, and the energy that’s accumulated is not the brand new hairstyle, but the ability to help do the dishes without being asked, or to not slack off during cleaning time in school.

So, men, who are looking to find the ladies, the next time the bell rings for the cleaning period, don’t just fall flat at your seats, DO pick up those brooms and dustpans, and run to your designated cleaning area, because the girls are waiting, for a man, who can shoulder up his responsibilities.

So, this one teaches you H-O-W to observe someone, from the smallest perspectives, and, what better place is there, to examine someone for who he really is, at his own home, after all, you’re most comfortable at home, and, that, is when everything that’s BAD about you shows, and, it is important, to watch the interactions of someone with her/his family, but that, would still NOT be the primary or KEY determinant of how good a man he is, consider every single aspect there!

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Filed under Gender Roles, Interpersonal Relations, Issues on Gender, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Maturation, Observations, Relationship

She Saw Hope, at the Turn of the Corner

The growth of a woman, translated…

It was already, past ten, as I passed through Jiao-Jiao’s breakfast shop, saw that there were still, a couple of guests, dining there, I’m truly happy for her.

A decade ago, her husband who worked for a private sector company, because he was laid off, started getting depressed, and after six months worth of hunting for another job, he was unsuccessful.  Seeing how the life of the family of three was about to not make it, he’d become depressed, and started trying to drink away his sorrows.  Later on, on a stormy night, he’d died in a car crash.

Toward this sort of situation, Jiao-Jiao started crying endlessly, thought that her son was not yet five, and, she didn’t have a skill or savings, how is she to raise her son up?  And, every time she’d thought about her own predicaments, started losing sleep every single night, one day, as she was strolling the streets with her son, she saw a breakfast shop, just opening up for business.  It looked like the female owner was a foreigner, with a young child on her back, working hard, to make soy milk, and that scene, it’d given her hope.

She stood outside the shop, looked in, for a very long time, and thought to herself, if she can do it, why not me?  And so, she’d wiped her own tears away, took her son’s hand, and, as they walked back home, she’d hummed the songs.

She’d told the landlady, that she’d taken some breakfast making classes at the community college, she’s confident, that she’s able to make the regular breakfast foods, that she’d wanted to open up a shop, hoped, that the landlady could help her find a spot, so she could get some extra earnings, and could take care of her child at the same time.

In the hard working manners of the landlady, she quickly found a spot that used to be a parking spot, with a roof, a place where she could place a cart, and a few chairs and tables.  The owner of the space took pity on her situation, loaned her fifty thousand dollars to set up shop, and made some flyers, so everybody can know about this small shop.

And so, Jiao-Jiao started owning and operating her breakfast shop, she’d worked hard every single day, providing for her guests, the best kind of customer service, and the freshest of foods, so the guests, can begin their days fresh, on a good note.

She’s not only a great cook, she’d also placed her own collection of books into the shop, so the guests can read and hold conversations as they’d dined; and, the guests could also bring their own private collection of books to share with each other.  And, she’d managed, to operate her shop like it was a big family, and so, her business was going quite well.

Seeing how Jiao-Jiao had overcome her difficulties from a hard situation, and now, stability had returned to the mother and son, and her middle-school aged son I studious, well-behaved and well-rounded, I’m truly happy for her.

And so, this, is a story, of overcoming obstacles, the woman lost her husband, and had to start all over on her own again, but, she’d kept her eyes on the prize, moving on, and, she’d found something to work towards, and, managed, to run this small shop well, and that takes more than strength, it also takes determination too!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Fate, Life, Loss, Maturation, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues, Work Ethics

Treating Someone Gently

The views of a college professor, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Teaching a class is surely a very difficult thing, it took me half my life of standing on the podium, lecturing, until I’d retired, and still had to feel regrets over the moments of my teaching careers.  This, is not just me, being hard on myself, but the truth, especially after I’d retired, and have the spare time, to start to introspect, that, was when I’d realized, that there is, the “endless number of lessons we have all yet to manage”.  Time and the desires for knowledge will keep pushing the instructors forward, and there’s no end to this process, even though you may already be retired, the issues are still, troubling you.

What’s comforting though, is how some of the students would stay in contact with their instructors, especially after the student became the teacher.  As the student just entered into the teaching realm, s/he is filled with passions, worked hard, in the lessons, when they’d written, “I hope I can be as patient as you are, and be friends with my students.” I actually feel bashful, for not being a better example, but I’m truly glad for my students.  There was a student who’d gone to the distant regions to substitute, she was shocked, to realize, that a child from a poverty stricken home couldn’t even afford a pencil, she’d started preparing a pencil case that won’t damage the child’s pride, and, shared with the ins and outs of her learning to teach; I’d especially written a very long reply to her, commended her on empathizing other people’s hardships, and understand where her students came from, and at the very end, I’d reminded him, “I’m truly proud of you, but, do remember this passion you are still holding, don’t forget what got you into teaching with the passing of time.”

In my faith, treating the students with gentleness, is the best results of an instructor, and, not damaging the students’ prides would be the most basic form of achieving this.  When the student walked to the professor’s labs, the professor opens up the doors, lit a small lamp, and, listened patiently, to the students, talk of the troubles s/he is having in her/his research, the effects of this small act is way more than screaming one’s lungs out in the lecture halls, making sure that every student is paying attention to what you’re saying.

I’d read and reviewed over endless articles by countless students, I could no longer recall the essay by this particular student.  But on my way home, I kept thinking, that I should take more time, to write a few more lines, to give commend on how alive her essays portrayed the stories, then, “If you could use another tone of voice in your writing, then, it would be, better.”  But then, I was simply, way too young, that straightforward line of “if you could use another tone of voice in your writing then, it would be better”, had totally, beaten a sensitive student down, without me knowing that it had at all.  I’d once, worked so hard, to live by the rules of “not making my students feel bad”, and yet, I still couldn’t avoid doing so, it just shows, how hard it is, to be a teacher.

And so, this, is from looking back over the years, on the interactions with her students, and, this teacher realized, that she could’ve done better, especially in the way she was educated, versus the way she’d educated her own students, and, this sort of mode of interactions still get passed down from one generation to the next, but gladly, this woman who’s now retired, realized her mode of interactions, and hopefully, she will use more of her kindness, when she teaches the younger generations the lessons they will need in life…

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Filed under Cost of Living, Lessons, Life, Maturation, Observations, Perspectives, Values, Wake Up Calls

Lost, in the Momentary Weakness of Emotions

I was, lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, when you came crawling, BACK my way.  Lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, and I’d beaten myself over that already, and, it’s still not, QUITE enough, because each and every single time, you’d come crawling back, I’d gone soft, and let you back in once more, over, over, and over again…

Lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, well, I ain’t NEVER lettin’ that happen ever again is the thing, I’d, hardened up my heart, boarded up the windows, AND the doors, put ironclad locks on my heart, so, NOTHING will get in.

Lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, I will never be, I’d done that once before, and, it’d cost me, my life, and, dying one time was already, hard enough to do, I’m not stupid enough, to die again the exact SAME way.

Lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, I had, just once, because I was, way too young, way too naïve (note: still NOWHERE N-E-A-R S-T-U-P-I-D though!!!).  Lost, in the momentary weakness of emotions, yeah, that was, when I was ruled, by my emotions, but not anymore, because I had, “advanced” (like how you would those levels of games???), to a THINKER, instead of being a FEELER here!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Lessons, Loss, Maturation, Perspectives

4443. A Woman Diagnosed with Epidermolysis Bullosa Acquisita Transferred the Discomfort of Her Condition into Pictures on LINE

Here we have a woman, who’s in constant and severe pain from a day-to-day basis, and yet, she was, still able, to transfer the pains from her own conditions into something hopeful, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The woman, Liu, “Angle of Bubbles” had a rare condition, epidermolysis bullosa acquisita that’d caused her to itch when the weather becomes too hot, she couldn’t scratch herself, she couldn’t even rub her own skins, when she’s careless and popped the itchy places, she’d bleed, and, she was often, covered with scars.  Liu turned her painful situation into a LINE character, “Rabbit Covered with Scars”, placed it on the markets, became the very first LINE artist who has a rare condition.

The condition she was diagnosed with not only rendered her under the cycle of “bubbling up, bursting, healing”, she couldn’t even swallow any food that’s too hard, she could only eat the soft foods.  And, because of the temperature changes recently, it’d caused her body to itch, and there’s not a place on her body without the wounds, she’d spent eight hours a day to dress her wounds, to change the medications on herself.  Liu, because of her condition, was forced to quit her host job at a radio station, but she’d gotten very much into art, and, transferred her pains into the inspirations for her own artwork, last month, she’d completed the series of LINE pictures.

Since she was younger, she’d been very talented with art, her mother encouraged her to do it too, but, the hardest part in her learning to draw was not overcoming her physical ailments but finding a teacher.   Liu’s mother stated, that back when her daughter was younger, she’d taken her to numerous studios, but, nobody would take her, because she was covered with pussing sores, in the end, the mother had decided, to let her older sister by three years to take up the art lessons first, then, her sister would teach it to her.  This hardship in learning art, had become the drive for her older sister to become a special ed instructor, she’d vowed, to take care of more special needs children, and now, the older sister got her wish, and is now, teaching special eds up north.

Liu said, that every time when her ailments got the best of her, she’d used her drawing, to show her desires, including how she looked without the injuries, how she was able to successfully, beat her condition, and she’d wanted love, just like other girls her age too, and, it’d helped alleviate her mind.  She hoped that her actions can encourage other people who are diagnosed with rare conditions, “To live bravely, do what makes one happy, there may be unexpected results when you do it”, she’d also hoped, that people who are healthy can cherish what they have even more.

The drawings she’d done will be published this year, compiled into a book.

So here, we have a woman, who’s faced with many difficulties, and, she was still able to achieve her goals in life, with the help of her family, and now, she’s using her story, to show, that so long as you work hard toward your goals, you can achieve them.

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Filed under Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Despair, Expectations, Healing Process, Life, Maturation, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling

Farewell, to the Monsters Underneath the Beds

Farewell, to the monsters underneath the beds, because, it’s time, that you grew up, and stop feeling so god DAMN scared of those nonexistent things, because we should all know by now, that those monsters that lived underneath them childhood beds of yours, are nothing, BUT a concoction of YOUR imagination.

Farewell, to the monsters underneath the beds, because, you can’t always, hide behind those things, blamed them, for everything that’s gone wrong in your adult life, you are, an ADULT now, aren’t you?  So, don’t you think, that you should, MAN up, take responsibilities, for YOUR own FUCKED up behaviors, instead of, just, blaming everything that went wrong, on those god DAMN monsters that plagued your childhood days?

Farewell, to the monsters underneath the beds, I have NO need for you, to keep me company now, I’m already, an able-bodied woman, and I’m no longer, afraid of the nights, like I once was, when I was too young, too scared, so yeah, this long-winding parasitic interaction WITH the monsters underneath the beds, is O-V-E-R, for I am now, in control, of MY own life!!!

And, one last word before I go, monsters, I am NEVER, EVER, E-V-E-R, allowing, ANY of Y-O-U guys, BACK, underneath MY bed again, and that, is F-I-N-A-L.

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Filed under Awareness, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Despair, Downward Spiral, Maturation, Suppressed Memories

Knowing Where Life’s Takin’ You

You’d gotten it all, figured out, hadn’t you there???

Knowing where life’s takin’ you, you no longer feared, you just let life take the L-E-A-D, and you followed behind life’s footsteps.  Knowing where life’s takin’ you, it’s comforting, isn’t it, for you no longer carried that fear of the unknown, or any anxiousness about your own futures, because you trust your life, into the hands of fate now.

Knowing where life’s takin’ you, it took me, a total of a little MORE than twenty-six years to finally let go, and, I gotta say, that before I let go, I was really very scared, because I didn’t know where life’s gonna go, where I’m headed, I was stuck, in that crossroad, not knowing where to go next, and, with that ticking time bomb clock, pressing in on me, I couldn’t even have the chance, or the time, to allow myself, to absorb everything in slowly, bit, by bit.

But now, I KNOW where life’s leading me, and, to say, that I was NOT scared at the very beginning of all of this would be the BIGGEST lie E-V-E-R, so yeah, I was, once, so very scared too (and still admit to that too!!!), but now, I’m no longer fearing anything, because I KNOW that fate has everything planned O-U-T for me, and I WILL be taken good care of by my own fate!

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Filed under Fate, Maturation, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling