Category Archives: Gender Inequality

Teenage Dating Violence Statistics

If this doesn’t SHOCK the pants off of all of you, then, we may have a BIG problem, from…

NEW YORK — From violence to verbal taunts, abusive dating behavior is pervasive among America’s adolescents, according to a new, federally funded survey. It says a majority of boys and girls who date describe themselves as both victims and perpetrators.

Sponsored by the National Institute of Justice, the National Survey on Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence was conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago, a prominent research center which provided preliminary results to The Associated Press. Input came from a nationwide sample of 667 youths aged 12-18 who’d been dating within the past year and who completed a self-administered online questionnaire.

Nearly 20 percent of both boys and girls reported themselves as victims of physical and sexual abuse in dating relationships — but the researchers reported what they called a startling finding when they asked about psychological abuse, broadly defined as actions ranging from name-calling to excessive tracking of a victim. More than 60 percent of each gender reported being victims and perpetrators of such behavior.

The survey found no substantive differences in measures by ethnicity, family income or geographic location.

Elizabeth Mumford, one of the two lead researchers for the survey, acknowledged that some of the behaviors defined as psychological abuse — such as insults and accusations of flirting — are commonplace but said they shouldn’t be viewed as harmless.

“None of these things are healthy interactions,” she said. “It’s almost more of a concern that our gut reaction is to accept this as natural.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in its campaigns against teen dating violence, also stresses the potential seriousness of psychological abuse.

“Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a ‘normal’ part of a relationship,” says a CDC fact sheet. “However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence.”

Bruce Taylor, the other lead researcher for the NORC survey, said the overall abuse figures were higher than previous national studies of dating abuse, revealing “the startlingly widespread nature of this problem.”

Using a definition under which adolescent relationship abuse can occur in person or through electronic means, in public or private, and between current or past dating partners , the survey estimates that 25 million U.S. adolescents are victims and nearly 23 million are perpetrators.

Taylor and Mumford said the high rates in their survey may stem in part from youths being candid due to the privacy of the online format. They also suggested that dating abuse is now so common that young people have little concern about admitting to it.

The survey found fairly similar rates of victimization and perpetration among boys and girls — even in the sub-categories of physical abuse and sexual abuse. Many previous studies have found that girls are markedly more likely to be victims of physical and sexual dating abuse than boys.

However, the researchers detected a shift as adolescents age.

“We found that girls perpetrate serious threats or physical violence more than boys at ages 12-14, but that boys become the more common perpetrators of serious threats or physical violence by ages 15-18,” they wrote.

Mumford noted that the questionnaire did not delve into such details as which party instigated a two-way confrontation, or whether injuries resulted. She said it was possible girls suffered more serious injuries than boys.

“Our work suggests that prevention programs need to address both victimization and perpetration, not one or the other,” Mumford and Taylor wrote. They recommended starting prevention programs in middle school, and noted that that teen dating violence is viewed as a possible precursor to adult intimate-partner violence.

Andra Tharp, a health scientist with the CDC’s violence prevention division, said two-way teen dating violence — with both partners engaging in abuse — is widespread.

She said it’s an ongoing challenge among experts in the field to find the right balance in addressing the role of gender — exploring the extent to which both boys and girls are perpetrators, while identifying situations where girls are likely to suffer more serious harm. For example, Tharp said that if a boyfriend retaliates against a girlfriend who hit him, there’s a higher risk of injury to the girl if —as is likely — the boy is stronger.

Dr. Elizabeth Miller, chief of adolescent medicine at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC, said it’s important to make distinctions about the types of abuse. She contends that, while boys and girls may engage in psychological abuse at comparable levels, girls are more likely to be the victims in cases of sexual violence and coercion.

“When you look at the need for medical attention, females are experiencing more severe consequences,” she said. “We’re doing ourselves a disservice if we pretend it’s all the same.”

While many girls are capable of aggressive behavior, they generally don’t share the view of some boys that sexual coercion is acceptable, Miller said.

The research by Mumford and Taylor is expected to be published soon in The Journal of Interpersonal Violence, a peer reviewed academic journal.

The Associated Press and NORC conduct joint polling under the name AP-NORC, but this study was conducted independently by NORC.

And maybe, this SHOCKING statistics still won’t get you worked up, and maybe, it MUST happen, to someone you love and cared about (like a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, or cousin or whoever!) would you start, paying attention, I don’t really know, but this, is ENOUGH, to get my attention, which is why, I’m still RANTING about it………


Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Gender Inequality, Innocence Lost, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Messed Up Values, News Stories, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, The Teenage Years, Trends, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls

The Infidelities of Her Man

She’d put up with it, because there’s NOTHING else she can do, to STOP him from cheating on her, and plus, he’d always come back to her bed, eventually, and so, she’d put up with his infidelities.

The infidelities of her man, we’d often wondered, WHY, she wouldn’t just divorce him, perhaps, she enjoys seeing how guilt-ridden he would become after each and every time he’d cheated on her, and how she would have control over HIS wages, and spend it, listlessly, and there’s NOTHING he could do about that, because he knew, he’d OWED her that much!

The infidelities of her man, it’d taken her, a very long time, to finally overcome, and, even though, when he’d not come home to her, she’d still felt somewhat uneasy, now she tells herself, so long as he’s still giving me his paycheck, I’ll be fine.

The infidelities of her man, why must we women, put UP with your infidelities, and, think about it, L-O-S-E-R-S (b/c that, is what you ALL are!!!), IF the thought of us, women, with someone else, when it’s NOT even T-R-U-E, makes you turn G-R-E-E-N, then, why the FUCK (no, I don’t need to be “pardoned” this time ‘round) should WE put UP with you, humping on ALL your whores?  Exactly, so, the next time that double-standard comes back up, DO suppress it down!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Gender Inequality, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Messed Up Values, White Picket Fence

A Man Had an Affair Abroad, It Was Out of the Country’s Jurisdictions, But the Photos of Sex Were Leaked Out, and Those Became Evidence

See, you still can’t WEASEL your ways out of this one in the end, can you???  Nope!!!  Translated…

A married engineer, Wu, and a saleswoman, Liu had an extramarital affair, they went abroad together, and traveled abroad and in the country, and had had sexual intercourse for at least thirty times; but Wu could no longer put up with how Liu wouldn’t want to let him go, he’d wanted to return back to his family, he’d come clean to his wife, Chen on his own.  So Chen had sued, the District Attorney’s office in Hsinbei City believed that they do NOT have jurisdiction overseas, and that there were at least TWO proven times when the man had sex with the other woman, and they were BOTH prosecuted on obstructions of family.

The engineer, Wu, who is in his thirties in Hsinbei City, five years ago, because of work, met up with Liu, who worked as a sales agent for a provider, they’d gone out on multiple dates, during which time, Liu had written many love letters to the man, along with e-mails as well, and Wu had multiple times used the excuses of needing to go on business trips, and used the name of work, took Liu to Kaohsiung, the Sun-Moon Lake, Bali, Long Beach Island, to have affairs, or to motels all over the places, to rest, there were, at least, thirty times. Liu was totally infatuated with Wu, and Wu became troubled by this, hoped to return to his family; this March, he could NO longer put up with Liu’s not letting him go, he’d admitted to his wife, and handed in the evidence of their affair, the photos of them having sex, the text messages that Liu had sent him, the love letters too, and it had shocked his wife who poured her heart AND soul out, in taking care of their children and family.

Chen’s wife sued them both, Wu admitted to wrongdoing, and Liu claimed, that Wu showed him the copy of his divorce papers, that, was why she’d mistakenly believed that he was already divorced.

The D.A. investigated, and believed that the sexual intercourse that had happened was out of their jurisdiction, and that they couldn’t prove that they were in the other photographs, but Liu admitted to how the sexual photos were taken in this country.

And, five years ago, Liu had texted Wu, “Is your wife on shift tomorrow?”, and the D.A. believed, that she knew that he was already married, and still gone out with him.

And still, the woman, the WHORE???, she still ended up, paying the higher price, because the LOSER apologized and admitted to wrongdoing to his wife, and, all of this is still because???  Oh yeah, he could NO longer deal with the other woman’s neediness, her wanting to tie him down, and that’s still not fair, why the HELL is the woman the one being PUNISHED, when it still took TWO to T-A-N-G-O?  Simply because that LOSER fucking apologize to his wife, and she went “soft”?

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Filed under Betrayals, Crime & Punishment, Extramarital Affairs, Gender Inequality, Issues of Morality, Issues of the Society, Messed Up Values, Observations, Social Awareness, Social Issues, White Picket Fence

Marry While You’re Still Young

So, as men age, they’d become MORE valuable, but as we women age, we become more WORTHLESS, is that it???  translated…

My college classmate, Chien is a beauty inside AND out, plus she’d taken extra care of herself, even though she’s a cougar of mid-forties, approaching her fifties, there’s still NO tracks of time on her face.  Her headshots were posted on Facebook, she looked like one of the younger girls, and we called her, the “Frozen-in-Age Beauty”.

But, this beauty had it hard in love, after she’d ended one bad marriage, although she was involved with someone, for over a decade, but in the end, because the man had NO intentions of starting a family or marrying, it was over.  Even though, Chien had NO more expectations for her romantic life, but recently, because her mother showed extreme care and concern over it, she’d still gone to the matchmaking set up by her mother.

“The man is a professor, he was more than satisfied already when he saw my pictures, but when he’d heard about my age, he’d backed out!”

On a gathering of friends, Chien told us the story of what had happened in this set up, then, she’d added another, “He worried that I won’t be able to reproduce, but with the medical advances, I might still be able to, who knows?  Plus, I may NOT be at all, into him either!”

We can all get, that this last sentence from her was out of anger, but it’d also stressed how in looking for a partner in marriage, men and women DO have the tendencies to focus on what they see, and that’s caused the gender inequality.

Seeing how there are a TON of ladies around me, just like Chien, good looking, with great abilities in work, but, they’d waited, and waited, for so very long, for Mr. Right to show up; and, looking at the men in the same age group, even IF they’re already wide in the center regions, they can still get younger girls to fall for them, for instance, there was a forty-five year-old male friend of mine who’d just become a father recently, and his wife is ten years his junior.

And, there was another “older brother level” man who works in the same industry as I, because he never gave up on having children, so, even as he’s passed fifty, he’d still sought out younger, beautiful ladies, and doesn’t accept the ladies who are more mature in age, and so, year after year, he’d wasted them all away.  Seeing how there are so many older males and females around me who are sighing right now, all I can say, is, “Do get married when you’re still young.”

And once again, you still see this GENDER inequality, and it’s still ALL because of our biological make up differences, because as we women approach midlife, our reproductivity slows, and, while you losers are still able to “reproduce”, so, you are seeking out younger, more vibrant ladies, who many only BE into your money.

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Filed under Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Issues on Gender, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Socialization

My Mother-in-Law Only Liked Boys, Relationship Between a Mother and a Daughter-in-Law

This, IS the 21st Century, you DO realize that, don’t you?  So, why are you, the elders still SUCK in your 17th to 19th Century mindsets???  Translated…

In the day and age, because of the burdens, some of the families only choose to have one child, but I kept believing, that a child who has the company of a sibling would grow up happier.  After I’d had my firstborn son, finally, right before he was about to turn two years of age, I had a second child, and, it was, a daughter, just as I’d hoped.

My in-laws lived in the country side, with my husband’s eldest brother, and my husband and I rented our home away.  During my pregnancy when I’d visited his house, I’d heard my eldest sister-in-law told, “When the neighbors asked, mother-in-law would tell others that you’re carrying a son, said that we’re a family who reproduce sons.”

After I heard, I was a bit unhappy, and that, was when I realized that my mother-in-law only liked sons.  Until after I’d given birth, and my in-laws came to the hospitals to visit, my mother-in-law still inquired, “Was it a boy or a girl?”, back then, I was too glad, that I had an older son already, otherwise, I would surely, go under the fires.

After my daughter was born, I was too busy, caring for my children, and, headed home was too tiring for me, and my kids would have to pack everything up, and, as I’d returned home, I’d be faced with the cobwebs, and so, every time we’d made plans to head back, I’d have to think for a very long while.  This time, when I’d gone back, my mother-in-law asked me if I wanted to have another child, I was shocked.  Even though I wanted to, but, I couldn’t afford to have another child, but, my mother disagreed with my reasoning, I’d changed my thoughts, told her, “The fortune-teller said we would have more girls than guys, and now, I already had a son and a daughter, if I have another, it would surely be a girl again, do you still want me to have one more?”

She’d replied immediately, “then, don’t even bother if it is a girl!”

Actually, whether you have a son or a daughter, s/he would be a treasure in the parents’ minds, why must you be so hung up on having a son? Because that, is the TRADITIONAL and AGE old belief of the Asian cultures, because girls will eventually marry off, and take someone else’s last name, and the babies they reproduce would carry the husbands’ (1 @ a time) last names, and that, is why this mother-in-law is still way too OLD school, and, we ARE living in the TWENTY-FIRST century here (or, did my TIME machine crash back in the 17th, 16th, 15th, or 18th Centuries again???), so, DROP those age-old beliefs of boys are better than girls, because they will have your last names, and, need I remind you all, that females are the ones with the ability to CARRY the kids, unless, you’re talking about the seahorses, or the leaf dragons of the deep sea varieties!

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Filed under Being Exposed, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Fertility, Gender Inequality, Issues on Gender, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization, Translated Work, Trends, Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Being a Housewife is Just Too Hard

And yes, we are all, UNDERAPPRECIATED here still, translated…

I have a friend, and for a very long time, she’d been depressed, recently, she’d hit her all-time low.  Because her child didn’t do well enough in the national middle schooler’s examinations.  The husband believed that she didn’t understand the new system completely, and said, that she does nothing all day long, and didn’t do enough research on the matter.  Her mother-in-law, blamed her too, that all she did, was stay at home, took care of her kids, and she couldn’t even manage to get the major examinations right.

She’d poured her heart out to me, she said, that it is actually, quite stressful, being a full-time housewife, because she didn’t work, she was asked, to clean the house completely, to the point, that there is NO single speck of dust, and that she must work hard, cooking the meals as well; and she must also handle an assortment of issues big, AND small, and work as an “S.O.S. operator”, all because she didn’t bring in an income.  My friend said, all she needed, was her husband’s acknowledgement for her heart, but, her husband just never even spoke of his appreciation for all she did for home.

I can understand the pains and the sorrows she’s going through, housewives gave up on their interests, keep their own talents hidden, willingly, gave everything that they had to their families.  And for the husbands who are working hard away, don’t forget, to say to your wives, “Thank you”, as the gentle words from the husbands, are what keeps the ladies going, after all, without their selfless giving, how could the husbands work so worrilessly, away from home?

And so, we are still, the PILLARS and the STRENGTHS of OUR separate households, and, yet, we women are still way too UNDERAPPRECIATED, because you LOSERS take what we do for granted, you think we do NOTHING all day, but sit around our sorry ASSES and just sip on cups of T-E-A?  Well then, let’s TRADE, for a week, we go out to get work, and you losers stay home, and HANDLE everything inside the house, see how you sons-of-BITCHES can handle it, and, maybe then, you will have MORE respect, for us women, who are HOUSEWIVES (and no, still NOT one!!!), who are NOT making the TOP dollars and “supporting” our separate households, you’ve got to be SHITTING me on this!

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Filed under Awareness, Being Alone, Cost of Living, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Gender Inequality, Gender Roles, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Scapegoating, Self-Images, Socialization, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence, Women's Issues

Her Boyfriend MUST Control Ever Single Aspect of Their Dates

How to COPE with dating a CONTROL freak, a Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. S just met a new boyfriend, she thinks he’s special, but she’s having trouble adapting to the rules that he’d set up in dating, and is very troubled…

The boyfriend is a business owner, very busy, the second day after he and S met, he was sure of her, promised her a life, because S has her own goals, and won’t interfere with his work schedules.  He’d stated it, that when he is in the office, she does NOT LINE him; other than date time, other times she’d contacted him, it would be dependent on whether or not he has the time; and, she should NOT call him before ten o’clock at night, because he has a TON of customer service calls to get; and, when she texted him, he would only reply when he is not busy, and, he’d only use a few words.

S had met him not too long ago, felt that he has the heart, and a TON of good quality, is a special man.  But, a date a week doesn’t seem enough for her, and, the days that S couldn’t see him, she doesn’t know how to stop missing him, she felt that at the start of a relationship is when the lovers can’t wait to see one another, but she was told, to control herself.  What is she to do?

A My Advice

S’s boyfriend is so used to being in control in business, and, t his, is a hard time for small and medium sized businesses, and, customers DO come first, and that, is something that S must come to respect.  It’s just that on something as intimate as a date, a man can be so “professional” about it; the rules are set by him, and all his girlfriend can do, is to accept the rules he’d set up, I’m impressed at how he wanted control over things.

Especially when S starts to miss him like crazy, she was asked to keep her emotions controlled.  I feel that he may be a bit too egotistical, that after two to three dates, he believes that he understands his girlfriend inside out, and, anybody from the outside can conclude that there’s still a lot of getting to know one another to be done here; after they marry, if the attitudes are still the same, they may have communication difficulties.

S wanted to date for another three months, then, evaluate, right now, the woman is more passionate than the man, at least, S moved fast and she’d put in more emotional investments.  My advice for S is that she should keep herself busy, NOT to put all her passion into dating her boyfriend, otherwise, when she doesn’t get her equaled return, she will become depressed and feel beaten.  And, there’s NO need to report to him every move you make, to give him a taste of his own medicine, let him know how you’re feeling now by showing him.

So, the woman sounds like the one, more into the relationship than the man, doesn’t she?  And, if this keeps ongoing, then, the balance would be totally TIPPED, and, in the end, this still won’t END up well, because love is a give and take, on roughly equal proportions, and when one side gave too much and the other took too much, then, the balance becomes tipped, and, when the balance tips, that, is when trouble starts.

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Filed under Gender Inequality, Issues on Gender, Perspectives, Relationship, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls