Category Archives: Gender Inequality

Using the Virginity Test to Establish Morality

This is really SEXIST, from the New York Times that came with today’s Chinese newspapers, written by: J. Cochrane…

JARKARTA, Indonesia—Colonel Sri Rumiati made her career in the Indonesian National Police, but the day she was tested for it, in 1984, is one she would rather forget.

During a mandatory physical examination, a doctor administered a so-called virginity test, inserting two fingers to determine whether her hymen was intact.

“I was not comfortable with the test,” said Colonel Rumiati, who is now a police psychologist.  “The test can be stressful on women and embarrassing.”

It mattered little that the doctor who tested her was a woman.  It felt like a violation, she said, one that does not determine virginity, that has no comparable equivalent for male police recruits and that does not achieve its ostensible goal: evaluating a recruit’s morality.

“You learn about the morality of a candidate from prosocial behavior testing,” or evaluating a person’s actions, she said.  “It’s not about virginity.”

Women who apply to be police officers in Indonesia have been subjected to virginity testing since at least 1965.

But the issue has set off heated debate here since Human-Rights Watch released a report and a video last month with evidence that the police was still in force.

The organization said it had interviewed eight current and former female police officers and applicants in six cities, including two who said they had undergone virginity tests this year.  Married women are not eligible to become police officers.

The National Police chief said last month that female recruits did not undergo virginity tests.  But hours later, two high-ranking National Police officials in Jakarta were quoted by the local news media confirming that the police force conducts the tests.

While failing the virginity does not disqualify a police applicant, she “may get fewer points if her hymen is not intact,” Brigadier General Arthur Tampi told The Jakarta Post.

Local women’s and human rights groups have demanded an end to the practice.  Last year, the head of a local education office in South Sumatra Province suggested conducting virginity tests on high school girls to discourage promiscuity and thwart teenage prostitution.  Thousands of Indonesians took to social media sites to criticize the idea, which was quickly dismissed by national government officials.

Colonel Dede Rahayu, who runs the Police Women’s School in Jakarta, said she had never heard of any of her students or staff members having to undergo the tests.

The policewomen “who said they had that tests didn’t understand what a virginity test is,” she said nothing that all applicants undergo a rectal exam and they may have confused the two.  “Or maybe the want people think they were still virgins when they joined,” she said half in jest.  “A single woman not being a virgin is taboo in Indonesia”.

So, if there’s a need for a woman to undergo such examinations, to solidify HER status, what about men?  Don’t they need to also go through a virginity test too?  Oh wait, you LOSERS don’t have HYMENS like we women do, that can clearly SHOW if you’d had SEX or not, and, this idea of how unwed, single women are eligible to become cops is still way too STUPID, and this had happened, in the modern day world, believe it or don’t!  And, hello, hello, hello, virginity is NO determinant of morality, I mean, you DO realize, that someone CAN be a virgin, and act immorally, right???

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Filed under Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Government, Policies, & Politics, In the Army, Invasion of Privacy, Issues on Gender, Legislature, Life, News Stories, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Validity of the News, Values

A Female Manager Was Pregnant, While She Was in the Hospital, She Received the Notice that She was Fired

Gender discrimination AND sexism here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Lin works as a manager in a consulting company, when she was eight months into her pregnancy, she was hospitalized because of an infection, and, in the hospital, she’d gotten the notice that she was fired from her company, the Taoyuan County government fined the company using the laws of discriminatory behavior toward pregnant women, $100,000N.T.s; the company was displeased, filed for an executive lawsuit, the judge believed that the company, firing the female employee before she gave birth was an act that would hurt the female employee, and mandated the company to pay the fines.

The Taoyuan District Court investigated, that two years ago in August, Lin was hired as the manager of the household items of the sales consulting company, in the middle of last April, she had an urinary infection that’s caused by her pregnancy, she’d been hospitalized until May, during which time, she’d received text message from her company that she’s fired, and they’d asked her to file the paper works after she was released from the hospital.

Lin believed that the company intentionally fired her when she was pregnant, that it was sexually discriminatory, she’d filed for a civil suit first, using unjust firing, at the same time, she’d reported her company’s behaviors to the Gender Equality Commissions in Taoyuan.  On the civil suit front, the company was willing to pay $60,000N.T. and the woman dropped the claims; on the complaints, the government found the company in violation of the gender equality laws, and fined the company $100,000N.T.s, the company was unhappy, they’re now, filing for executive fees severance.

In the courts investigation, the company pointed out, that it was because of how they were continually losing funds, is suffering a loss in business, they’d decided to close the household departments, that it had nothing to do with Lin getting pregnant; the company had treated the female workers exactly the same, from marriage, to pregnancies, to the month after giving birth, they had a complete and well-rounded systems to help, and they had given out bonuses to the ladies who’d given birth, that they did not engage in any sort of discriminations.

But after the judge reviewed the evidences, he’d believed, that the company’s household department had been set up not yet a year, and Lin was hired as a manager, apparently, the company wanted to use her expertise, but, in eight short months, she was fried, because the department is losing money, clearly, it’d showed that the company believed how Lin would be unfitting as the manager of the department after she got pregnant, and while she was hospitalized for the infection during her pregnancy, they’d sent her a severance message via text, that the company DID engage in pregnancy discrimination, and it’d broken the gender equality laws.

And so, because this woman was pregnant, and, the company figured that her pregnancy would cost them a lot more money they she can make them, and so, they’d fired her, and that, was gender discrimination, and the company still tried to weasel its way out by finding excuses, but gladly, it didn’t work, because they still lost.

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Filed under Discriminations, Gender Inequality, In the Workplace, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Messed Up Values, Social Issues

A University Makes the Victims of Sexual Crimes Feel They Were to Blame

And, NO, I still did NOT JUST make this up, I discovered in on Yahoo!, written by H. McLeod…

A Christian University in South Carolina discouraged some students who reported being sexually assaulted as children or on campus to go to the police and made them feel they were responsible for the abuse, a report released on Thursday said.

Bob Jones University’s attitude over nearly four decades toward student reports of sexual abuse or assault was “blaming and disparaging,” according to nearly 62 percent of survivors who took a confidential survey as part of an independent investigation commissioned by the university.

The report examining the response by the non-denominational Protestant college in Greenville comes as universities nationwide are scrutinizing policies for dealing with sexual assaults after a Rolling Stone magazine report on an alleged gang rape at the University of Virginia.

Nearly half of the sexual abuse survivors at Bob Jones University who replied said staff discouraged them from making a police report or told them directly not to report the abuse.

In an apology to victims, university President Steve Pettit said the school had changed its practices in recent years to “make it clear the biblical lesson of forgiveness does not imply that the victim is in any way responsible for the sexual assault or abuse they experienced.”

The review was carried out by a non-profit organization in Lynchburg, Virginia, called GRACE, which stands for Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment.

One person who replied to the survey said students were told “that a woman who was raped or sexually abused brought it on herself.” Another victim who reported being abused by a grandfather said Bob Jones University staff asked: “Did your body respond favorably? If it did, then you need to repent.”

The report found that school officials were not appropriately trained to counsel victims and that some victims felt staff members rushed to resolve their negative feelings.

The university said on Thursday that an appointed committee would review the findings and make changes as needed “to better reflect our values and show victims the love of Jesus Christ.”

“Victims should never be blamed for abuse or assault,” said university spokesman Randy Page. “In hindsight, we see how some could have interpreted our teaching, preaching and counseling as indifference and insensitivity to those who needed help the most.”

And yes, this happened, in the U.S. in a CHRISTIAN university, believe it or don’t!!!  And that still just showed how those bad people, with their minds, NOT set straight, are ruining the education of the young, and what the F***?  And now, after this had been dug out from all that mess on top, the university spokesperson tried to put out that fire?  Yeah right!!!  Grow a BRAIN, people!





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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Bad Behaviors, College Life, Cost of Living, Gender Inequality, Messed Up Values, Rapes, Scapegoating, Stupidity, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Wake Up Calls

Why is a Woman Labeled as “Unfitting” When She Chooses to Follow Her Heart???

From a story I read up on, about a princess in one of those European empires, who chased after her happiness, instead of following tradition.

As the story goes, the princess is forced to marry someone she doesn’t even like, and, you can imagine how their lives went, BAD, and, later on in her life, she’d met someone whom she gave her heart willingly to, and, her parents are against them being together (what kind of parents would stand in the way between their offspring and their offspring’s happiness???), and, she ended up, eloping with the man she loved, and her mother used her tears, to coerce her to go back to the castle and live with her husband, the man who’d treated her like a baby incubator.

And this story just made me wonder: how COME when a woman chases after what she wanted, the world has so many bad things to say about it?  I mean, you don’t see the world, RANTING on how a man had sex with multiple women while still married to HIS wife, do you?  No, so, why was this woman shunned, for following her heart?

Because the genders are NOT equal, not even CLOSE, and, as long as there are TWO separate genders in this world, there will NEVER be any equality, and I’m still waiting on the day, that all of you, stupid sons-of-bitches (not name calling still) get ELIMINATED, and that still ain’t happenin’ anywhere NEAR my lifetime that’s for sure!

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Filed under Awareness, Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Messed Up Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Her Husband Just Won’t End His Affair

In need of an answer here, a Q&A, translated…

Q Mrs. M wrote…

She had been a neighbor to her husband since they were younger, she’d met him at age fifteen, married him at twenty-two, Mrs. M had been married for thirty-four years now, and she’s having troubles, getting her husband to sever his ties with his spare who is a foreign hired help. M had been working as a full-time housewife for over thirty years, she’d relied on her husband who brought home the bread and bacon, and everything in the house, he says, he didn’t even need to discuss the matters of important decisions with her.

M lives with her in-laws, and, they’d hired a foreign bedside assistant, and even though M believed that her husband was having an affair with the help, but emotionally, she didn’t believe, that her husband would do such a thing. Later on, the elders passed away, and the hired help went to another household, but, the husband still had ties with her, they were caught after they checked into a motel, by the police whom M notified, and that, was when she realized, that their affair had continued for four to five years, and the new boss would not renew her term and so, she’s been sent back to her own country now.

And still, the two who were having the affair still communicated closely, she is a woman, with a husband and children, what, are the two of them up to? M is feeling very unsettled these days.

A My Advice

M’s marital relationship with her husband is servant-master, everything is whatever he says, goes. Even though, she’d caught them in their affair, and had the foreign hired help extradited, but she didn’t get any benefits from that, because after the foreign hired help was extradited, the husband started getting physically violent toward her, and still kept up with communications with his spare.

From before when the spare was still in Taiwan, the husband would, from time to time, give her spending cash; and now, they’re separated, and she lives with her husband and children, what does she want from M’s husband? And this fantasy had been shattered already, what, is on the mind of her husband?  M hadn’t planned on telling the other woman’s husband about this at all, feared that they would get divorced, and the woman would stick to her husband like glue.  M doesn’t know what to do, she’s totally unsettled.

M has absolutely NO way of controlling her husband, and both her children are already in their thirties now, if she couldn’t use the kids, to restrain her husband, I think, it would be over for M. And, all I can say is this: the spare isn’t in Taiwan anymore, M shouldn’t scare herself like this, she can get out of her family, try to make some friends, play some team sports, to sing, slowly, establishing herself with her hobbies.  And, if after a few years, the other woman still returned to Taiwan, maybe the conditions would be different, and by then, she should get herself some alimony; and, if they really got divorced, the impact on M would be lessened, by a whole lot too.  change yourself, to strengthen yourself up, so, you’d have the chance, to turn the tables, being a sitting duck is the worst way you can handle this matter.

So here, we still have a woman, troubled by her husband’s affair, and, the husband and the wife are actually friends from childhood too, perhaps, it’s because he’d known her his whole life, and, it’s getting bored for him? Who knows!  And the advice columnist was right on how this woman need to enlarge her social circle, and focus on herself, and for now, because her husband is the breadwinner, so, he can speak louder, but, if the woman found work too, then, it would NOT only give the husband the right to push her around anymore, it also could help lessen the economical impact of their possible divorce later on.

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bullying, Choices, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Family Matters, Gender Inequality, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Interactions Shared with the World, Life, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence, Women's Issues

Teenage Dating Violence Statistics

If this doesn’t SHOCK the pants off of all of you, then, we may have a BIG problem, from…

NEW YORK — From violence to verbal taunts, abusive dating behavior is pervasive among America’s adolescents, according to a new, federally funded survey. It says a majority of boys and girls who date describe themselves as both victims and perpetrators.

Sponsored by the National Institute of Justice, the National Survey on Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence was conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago, a prominent research center which provided preliminary results to The Associated Press. Input came from a nationwide sample of 667 youths aged 12-18 who’d been dating within the past year and who completed a self-administered online questionnaire.

Nearly 20 percent of both boys and girls reported themselves as victims of physical and sexual abuse in dating relationships — but the researchers reported what they called a startling finding when they asked about psychological abuse, broadly defined as actions ranging from name-calling to excessive tracking of a victim. More than 60 percent of each gender reported being victims and perpetrators of such behavior.

The survey found no substantive differences in measures by ethnicity, family income or geographic location.

Elizabeth Mumford, one of the two lead researchers for the survey, acknowledged that some of the behaviors defined as psychological abuse — such as insults and accusations of flirting — are commonplace but said they shouldn’t be viewed as harmless.

“None of these things are healthy interactions,” she said. “It’s almost more of a concern that our gut reaction is to accept this as natural.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in its campaigns against teen dating violence, also stresses the potential seriousness of psychological abuse.

“Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a ‘normal’ part of a relationship,” says a CDC fact sheet. “However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence.”

Bruce Taylor, the other lead researcher for the NORC survey, said the overall abuse figures were higher than previous national studies of dating abuse, revealing “the startlingly widespread nature of this problem.”

Using a definition under which adolescent relationship abuse can occur in person or through electronic means, in public or private, and between current or past dating partners , the survey estimates that 25 million U.S. adolescents are victims and nearly 23 million are perpetrators.

Taylor and Mumford said the high rates in their survey may stem in part from youths being candid due to the privacy of the online format. They also suggested that dating abuse is now so common that young people have little concern about admitting to it.

The survey found fairly similar rates of victimization and perpetration among boys and girls — even in the sub-categories of physical abuse and sexual abuse. Many previous studies have found that girls are markedly more likely to be victims of physical and sexual dating abuse than boys.

However, the researchers detected a shift as adolescents age.

“We found that girls perpetrate serious threats or physical violence more than boys at ages 12-14, but that boys become the more common perpetrators of serious threats or physical violence by ages 15-18,” they wrote.

Mumford noted that the questionnaire did not delve into such details as which party instigated a two-way confrontation, or whether injuries resulted. She said it was possible girls suffered more serious injuries than boys.

“Our work suggests that prevention programs need to address both victimization and perpetration, not one or the other,” Mumford and Taylor wrote. They recommended starting prevention programs in middle school, and noted that that teen dating violence is viewed as a possible precursor to adult intimate-partner violence.

Andra Tharp, a health scientist with the CDC’s violence prevention division, said two-way teen dating violence — with both partners engaging in abuse — is widespread.

She said it’s an ongoing challenge among experts in the field to find the right balance in addressing the role of gender — exploring the extent to which both boys and girls are perpetrators, while identifying situations where girls are likely to suffer more serious harm. For example, Tharp said that if a boyfriend retaliates against a girlfriend who hit him, there’s a higher risk of injury to the girl if —as is likely — the boy is stronger.

Dr. Elizabeth Miller, chief of adolescent medicine at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC, said it’s important to make distinctions about the types of abuse. She contends that, while boys and girls may engage in psychological abuse at comparable levels, girls are more likely to be the victims in cases of sexual violence and coercion.

“When you look at the need for medical attention, females are experiencing more severe consequences,” she said. “We’re doing ourselves a disservice if we pretend it’s all the same.”

While many girls are capable of aggressive behavior, they generally don’t share the view of some boys that sexual coercion is acceptable, Miller said.

The research by Mumford and Taylor is expected to be published soon in The Journal of Interpersonal Violence, a peer reviewed academic journal.

The Associated Press and NORC conduct joint polling under the name AP-NORC, but this study was conducted independently by NORC.

And maybe, this SHOCKING statistics still won’t get you worked up, and maybe, it MUST happen, to someone you love and cared about (like a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, or cousin or whoever!) would you start, paying attention, I don’t really know, but this, is ENOUGH, to get my attention, which is why, I’m still RANTING about it………


Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Gender Inequality, Innocence Lost, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Messed Up Values, News Stories, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, The Teenage Years, Trends, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls

The Infidelities of Her Man

She’d put up with it, because there’s NOTHING else she can do, to STOP him from cheating on her, and plus, he’d always come back to her bed, eventually, and so, she’d put up with his infidelities.

The infidelities of her man, we’d often wondered, WHY, she wouldn’t just divorce him, perhaps, she enjoys seeing how guilt-ridden he would become after each and every time he’d cheated on her, and how she would have control over HIS wages, and spend it, listlessly, and there’s NOTHING he could do about that, because he knew, he’d OWED her that much!

The infidelities of her man, it’d taken her, a very long time, to finally overcome, and, even though, when he’d not come home to her, she’d still felt somewhat uneasy, now she tells herself, so long as he’s still giving me his paycheck, I’ll be fine.

The infidelities of her man, why must we women, put UP with your infidelities, and, think about it, L-O-S-E-R-S (b/c that, is what you ALL are!!!), IF the thought of us, women, with someone else, when it’s NOT even T-R-U-E, makes you turn G-R-E-E-N, then, why the FUCK (no, I don’t need to be “pardoned” this time ‘round) should WE put UP with you, humping on ALL your whores?  Exactly, so, the next time that double-standard comes back up, DO suppress it down!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Gender Inequality, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Messed Up Values, White Picket Fence

A Man Had an Affair Abroad, It Was Out of the Country’s Jurisdictions, But the Photos of Sex Were Leaked Out, and Those Became Evidence

See, you still can’t WEASEL your ways out of this one in the end, can you???  Nope!!!  Translated…

A married engineer, Wu, and a saleswoman, Liu had an extramarital affair, they went abroad together, and traveled abroad and in the country, and had had sexual intercourse for at least thirty times; but Wu could no longer put up with how Liu wouldn’t want to let him go, he’d wanted to return back to his family, he’d come clean to his wife, Chen on his own.  So Chen had sued, the District Attorney’s office in Hsinbei City believed that they do NOT have jurisdiction overseas, and that there were at least TWO proven times when the man had sex with the other woman, and they were BOTH prosecuted on obstructions of family.

The engineer, Wu, who is in his thirties in Hsinbei City, five years ago, because of work, met up with Liu, who worked as a sales agent for a provider, they’d gone out on multiple dates, during which time, Liu had written many love letters to the man, along with e-mails as well, and Wu had multiple times used the excuses of needing to go on business trips, and used the name of work, took Liu to Kaohsiung, the Sun-Moon Lake, Bali, Long Beach Island, to have affairs, or to motels all over the places, to rest, there were, at least, thirty times. Liu was totally infatuated with Wu, and Wu became troubled by this, hoped to return to his family; this March, he could NO longer put up with Liu’s not letting him go, he’d admitted to his wife, and handed in the evidence of their affair, the photos of them having sex, the text messages that Liu had sent him, the love letters too, and it had shocked his wife who poured her heart AND soul out, in taking care of their children and family.

Chen’s wife sued them both, Wu admitted to wrongdoing, and Liu claimed, that Wu showed him the copy of his divorce papers, that, was why she’d mistakenly believed that he was already divorced.

The D.A. investigated, and believed that the sexual intercourse that had happened was out of their jurisdiction, and that they couldn’t prove that they were in the other photographs, but Liu admitted to how the sexual photos were taken in this country.

And, five years ago, Liu had texted Wu, “Is your wife on shift tomorrow?”, and the D.A. believed, that she knew that he was already married, and still gone out with him.

And still, the woman, the WHORE???, she still ended up, paying the higher price, because the LOSER apologized and admitted to wrongdoing to his wife, and, all of this is still because???  Oh yeah, he could NO longer deal with the other woman’s neediness, her wanting to tie him down, and that’s still not fair, why the HELL is the woman the one being PUNISHED, when it still took TWO to T-A-N-G-O?  Simply because that LOSER fucking apologize to his wife, and she went “soft”?

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Filed under Betrayals, Crime & Punishment, Extramarital Affairs, Gender Inequality, Issues of Morality, Issues of the Society, Messed Up Values, Observations, Social Awareness, Social Issues, White Picket Fence

Marry While You’re Still Young

So, as men age, they’d become MORE valuable, but as we women age, we become more WORTHLESS, is that it???  translated…

My college classmate, Chien is a beauty inside AND out, plus she’d taken extra care of herself, even though she’s a cougar of mid-forties, approaching her fifties, there’s still NO tracks of time on her face.  Her headshots were posted on Facebook, she looked like one of the younger girls, and we called her, the “Frozen-in-Age Beauty”.

But, this beauty had it hard in love, after she’d ended one bad marriage, although she was involved with someone, for over a decade, but in the end, because the man had NO intentions of starting a family or marrying, it was over.  Even though, Chien had NO more expectations for her romantic life, but recently, because her mother showed extreme care and concern over it, she’d still gone to the matchmaking set up by her mother.

“The man is a professor, he was more than satisfied already when he saw my pictures, but when he’d heard about my age, he’d backed out!”

On a gathering of friends, Chien told us the story of what had happened in this set up, then, she’d added another, “He worried that I won’t be able to reproduce, but with the medical advances, I might still be able to, who knows?  Plus, I may NOT be at all, into him either!”

We can all get, that this last sentence from her was out of anger, but it’d also stressed how in looking for a partner in marriage, men and women DO have the tendencies to focus on what they see, and that’s caused the gender inequality.

Seeing how there are a TON of ladies around me, just like Chien, good looking, with great abilities in work, but, they’d waited, and waited, for so very long, for Mr. Right to show up; and, looking at the men in the same age group, even IF they’re already wide in the center regions, they can still get younger girls to fall for them, for instance, there was a forty-five year-old male friend of mine who’d just become a father recently, and his wife is ten years his junior.

And, there was another “older brother level” man who works in the same industry as I, because he never gave up on having children, so, even as he’s passed fifty, he’d still sought out younger, beautiful ladies, and doesn’t accept the ladies who are more mature in age, and so, year after year, he’d wasted them all away.  Seeing how there are so many older males and females around me who are sighing right now, all I can say, is, “Do get married when you’re still young.”

And once again, you still see this GENDER inequality, and it’s still ALL because of our biological make up differences, because as we women approach midlife, our reproductivity slows, and, while you losers are still able to “reproduce”, so, you are seeking out younger, more vibrant ladies, who many only BE into your money.

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Filed under Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Issues on Gender, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Socialization

My Mother-in-Law Only Liked Boys, Relationship Between a Mother and a Daughter-in-Law

This, IS the 21st Century, you DO realize that, don’t you?  So, why are you, the elders still SUCK in your 17th to 19th Century mindsets???  Translated…

In the day and age, because of the burdens, some of the families only choose to have one child, but I kept believing, that a child who has the company of a sibling would grow up happier.  After I’d had my firstborn son, finally, right before he was about to turn two years of age, I had a second child, and, it was, a daughter, just as I’d hoped.

My in-laws lived in the country side, with my husband’s eldest brother, and my husband and I rented our home away.  During my pregnancy when I’d visited his house, I’d heard my eldest sister-in-law told, “When the neighbors asked, mother-in-law would tell others that you’re carrying a son, said that we’re a family who reproduce sons.”

After I heard, I was a bit unhappy, and that, was when I realized that my mother-in-law only liked sons.  Until after I’d given birth, and my in-laws came to the hospitals to visit, my mother-in-law still inquired, “Was it a boy or a girl?”, back then, I was too glad, that I had an older son already, otherwise, I would surely, go under the fires.

After my daughter was born, I was too busy, caring for my children, and, headed home was too tiring for me, and my kids would have to pack everything up, and, as I’d returned home, I’d be faced with the cobwebs, and so, every time we’d made plans to head back, I’d have to think for a very long while.  This time, when I’d gone back, my mother-in-law asked me if I wanted to have another child, I was shocked.  Even though I wanted to, but, I couldn’t afford to have another child, but, my mother disagreed with my reasoning, I’d changed my thoughts, told her, “The fortune-teller said we would have more girls than guys, and now, I already had a son and a daughter, if I have another, it would surely be a girl again, do you still want me to have one more?”

She’d replied immediately, “then, don’t even bother if it is a girl!”

Actually, whether you have a son or a daughter, s/he would be a treasure in the parents’ minds, why must you be so hung up on having a son? Because that, is the TRADITIONAL and AGE old belief of the Asian cultures, because girls will eventually marry off, and take someone else’s last name, and the babies they reproduce would carry the husbands’ (1 @ a time) last names, and that, is why this mother-in-law is still way too OLD school, and, we ARE living in the TWENTY-FIRST century here (or, did my TIME machine crash back in the 17th, 16th, 15th, or 18th Centuries again???), so, DROP those age-old beliefs of boys are better than girls, because they will have your last names, and, need I remind you all, that females are the ones with the ability to CARRY the kids, unless, you’re talking about the seahorses, or the leaf dragons of the deep sea varieties!

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