A touching story, from the Front Page Sections, translated…
The twenty-eight year-old, Si-How Lai saw how hard his grandmother cried over his grandfather’s passing away, he’d wanted to get to know this “wife of his own grandmother, the mother of his father all over again”, he’d set up the Fans group, “Grandma’s Here”, kept records of how the two of them interacted, the progressions of his grandmother’s stroke, and dementia too, it’d made a ton of the fans realize, that “love should occur in the now”, it’d attracted the younger generations to get to know ones’ own grandparents again.
Lai said, that his grandfather died three years ago of illness, and his grandmother acted normally, the family thought, that she was mentally prepared, but late one evening, he’d found his own grandmother, sobbing gently, by her own bed. Lai who’d never seen his grandma cried, realized, that grandma was also a girl too, a girl who’s center was his own grandfather, it’d initiated his curiosities toward his own grandmother’s past.
Two years ago, he’d decided to get to know his grandma a little each and every day. He’d originally posted the interactions he’d shared with his grandmother on Facebook, a year ago, in the urging of his coworkers, he’d set up the Fans Club of “Grandma’s Here”, and, it’d attracted over a thousand fans to watch his live broadcasts of his interactions with his grandmother, and, he’d realized, that a lot of the online community are “the most familiar of strangers” with their separate families, and started encouraging the community online to share the stories of their own grandma online.
A female from online said, that she’d been in a bad relationship with her own grandmother long-term, and, the grandmother would even cuss her out, but because of the Fans Club, she’d discovered, that her grandmother was depressed, and slowly, forgave her grandmother for her past behaviors. And, there was a female who’d shared the regrets from the interactions with her own grandmother, one day, she’d gotten a call from her grandmother, because she had too much work to do, she’d quickly finished the conversation up, and afterwards when she’d dialed her grandmother back, she was told, that that, was the last word that her grandmother spoke before her passing, she was very regretful, “If I could do it over, I hope, that I had used my entire lifetime’s focus to listen to that very last phone call.”
The eighty-seven year-old Grandma Lai fell because she had a stroke last December, bumped her head, and is now, bedridden, and had forgotten Si-How Lai completely. Lai said, the moment he was told of her fall, he’d felt the pains from the possibilities of losing her. Lai said, during the two and a half year that he’d gotten to know grandma, she’d given him too much, the most important thing he’d learned from the interaction was, “showing care and concern toward the family members, and not to regret ever again.”, he said, “she’s petite in frame, but gives off a large shade.”, it doesn’t matter, if you only have one minute to show care and concern toward the families, and you won’t EVER forget the warmth that flowed, during that short time frame.
So, this young man decided to make his grandmother’s life matter to him, by capturing the moments they’d shared, and, he was able to learn from other people’s stories, and, use it in his own life, so, he can live without the regrets, and that, is the wonderful actions of a young man.
Here’s how this young man’s behavior became an “example” for others, from the Front Page Sections, translated…
I Love You…Connected the Love of Three Generations, the grandkids are his sweethearts, that helped opened up that lock on his heart
“Grandma’s Here”, the Fans Club on Facebook kept records of Si-How Lai’s interactions with his own grandmother, after experiencing the loss of ability after his grandmother’s stroke, the progressions of her dementia, Lai said, because of grandma, he’d learned how, to take care of the elderly. The experts believed, that Taiwan is on its way, to a nation, made up of elderly persons, and that if you’re not an expert in taking care of the elderly, you must know the general rules.
“The frit time I’d taken care of someone who’s lost her abilities, who’s become demented, I’d realized, how hard caretaking really is”, Lai said, after his grandmother’s stroke, she was diagnosed with dementia, and the series of beat downs that came, but gladly, the whole family worked together. He’d started looking for information, learned to face the situations, from massaging his grandma for rehabilitation, to making the psychological adjustments, to how to get the handicap manuals, he’d done, by trial and error on his own.
He said, that because of the learning opportunities provided by his grandma, he believed, that he could use what he learned on himself, his parents, his siblings, and, recently, he’d transcribed these ways he’d taken to caring for his own grandmother to works, hoped that it could offer insights to the online community.
The ROC’s Elderly Benefits League’s secretary, Wu said, that in a decade’s time, Taiwan will head into “Super Aged Community”, and, the middle generations in Taiwan right now are all faced with how to care for the aging elderly in the families, and in the future, not only would the younger generations be facing with caring for the elderly in their homes, they’d also had to deal with the aging of the neighbors too, and, everybody must have the knowledge of how to care of the elderly.
The Taipei Bridge Daycare Center for the Elderly’s manager, Lin stated, that most of the families when their elders had lost abilities, or became demented, the first solution they’d think of is a “foreign assistant”, but, hiring these foreign aides can’t solve the problems completely; a lot of families shared ZERO interactions with the elders, every day, the parent would tell the children, “I love you”, but the parents have difficulties, expressing their love to their parents.
Wu said, that the grandkids often played the role of the “lubricant” in the families, the parents had been treating their own parents using the same ways for forty, fifty years, it would be hard, for them to change their ways; instead, the grandchild can play the vital role, in keeping all three generations connected. Wu said, so long as you can get the elderly to talk about “how wonderful, how strong they were back then”, then, they can slowly, get into the minds and hearts of the elderly, but don’t rush the process, start by accompanying them, like going for strolls, carrying on in conversations, watching television alongside them, to establish the trust in one another first.
And so, this is what the young man learned, from HIS hands-on experiences in taking care of his own demented grandmother, and, he’d shared his views, his thoughts, and even, his ways of doing things with his grandma, to help the rest of the members in the community who may have difficulties, relating to their elderly grandparents.