Category Archives: Family Dynamics

The Wowrkings of a Family

The Teddy Bear at My House


My daughter had always wanted a cat for a pet, but, because neither one of us wanted to, she’d let that thought go.  Back in high school, one day, she saw a Rilakkuma, she’d bought it, with glee, it was, about eighty centimeters in height, with light brown coat, a square head, short and fat limbs, very cute, my daughter called it “Bear”, the three of us all loved it so.  The bear would usually stay in my daughter’s room, and accompanied my daughter to dreams at night; during the cold winter nights, my daughter would make sure, that her bear is warm, but when she wakes in the morn, the bear would usually have made its escape out, and would be on its side or with its head into the bed, making my daughter laugh.

At meal time, my daughter would carry the bear to the tables and sat with us, it’d stood, on the long chair, with its two, short arms on the table, like a kid, standing up, to eat at the table.  After meal, my daughter would carry her Teddy bear back into her bedroom, and would from time to time, nag it, out of fun, “Everybody’s finished already, only you, still here, you glutton.”

The rest time before bedtime, we’d all lain on the bed, sharing conversations, naturally, the bear would also, be there too.

The bear is naturally, my daughter’s number one fan when she plays the piano, whenever my daughter would practice, she’d placed the bear close by; and from time to time, she would have me, hold on to the bear, and listen to her play, after she’s done performing, I would pull the bear’s hands together, to give her the applause, and hollered, “Encore!  Encore!”, and my daughter would be filled with glee.  Whenever my daughter felt off, she’d told her sorrows to her bear too, she felt, that the bear had great healing powers.

Whenever it’s sunny, my daughter would put the bear onto the couch in the living room, to give it a sunbath, and, after the bear was warmed, she’d then, carry it back into her bedroom, and stated, “the bear had already gotten the essence of the sun and the moon now, it’d become, an energy bear!”

Sometimes, when my daughter heads off abroad to travel or to perform, she’d lain her bear on her bed, pull the covers over her, told it, “You must behave yourself, and wait, for my return.”

What’s more classic was, when she’d started grad school, and was going to her orientation, she’d brought the bear with her to her dorm; and when she’d called home regularly, she’d told me of how the bear was doing; and, waited until the summer or winter vacations, she’d bring the bear home with her.

Being an only daughter is really lonely, but, with her bear accompanying her, as parents, we feel, better about her not having a sibling.

And so, this, is how FAR someone’s attachment objects can go, this young woman didn’t have ANY siblings, as she’s an only child, and so, she’d found herself an attachment object, in this case, a Teddy bear, to accompany her, now, I’m not saying, that having an attachment object is a bad thing, but, this, is just, going WAY too far here, in MY opinion, that is.

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Filed under Awareness, Family Dynamics, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Self-Images, Socialization, Values

The Father Who’d Called Using the Red Public Phone


My father walked in the door, with a bad face, he’d kept that same expression, as my mother cussed him out, “We’re already very poor, and you’d squandered ALL your wages away at the whore house, and the bars?”

“Go, go, go, follow that DEADBEAT, no good father of yours out, see what he’d been doing?”  my mother, who’d working hard as a manual laborer, to keep the household of eight, must also track down her lazy husband, there’s NO way she’ll have anything nice to say, at age nine, I’d stealthily followed behind my father, feeling scared, passed through the dark and ghostly and haunted bamboo forests, my father stopped at the phone booth at the entrance of our village, placed a few coins in, and, the smiles started crawling up his face, that, was a kind of bliss I’d never seen at home.

If I could get on a time machine, I’d love to return to that day, get closer to my father, to see who he was talking to?  What are the difficulties in his life?  Because he’d lacked the money, he’d had to carry the bad name my mother gave to him, and, be disrespected by six of his kids, and getting sculpted, into a bad man, by my mother’s words daily.

And so, this, is a memory from the childhood years, the narrator saw how her parents fought like hell, and it surely must’ve affected her, and, she’d become a spy, by her mother’s orders, to keep an eye for her mother, on her father’s whereabouts.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life

She’d Murdered Her Own Mother, Gotten High on Drugs, in a Daze for Five Hours…Then, Turned Herself in, to the Police

From the Front Page Sections, a tragedy of a family, translated…

She was displeased at her mother’s words, “You had dragged me and your younger sister down with you”, after she’d murdered her mother, she’d told her younger sister, “You’re finally free”, her younger sister told, “We had a very unhappy childhood…”

A thirty-one year-old woman Pan in Kaohsiung, because she hadn’t gotten along with her own mother for long period of time, two afternoons, she’d bought a fruit knife, gone to her mother’s place, to confront her, Pan started stabbing her mother using the fruit knife twice on the right side of her mother’s neck, the fifty-three year-old mother died, had her throat slit.

After Pan had murdered her mother, she’d started using ketamine, and fell into a daze next to her mother’s corpse, and five hours later, she’d told her younger sister what she’d done, told her younger sister, “You’re now, delivered from pain”, and was accompanied by her sister, to turn herself in.  After the D.A.s interrogated her, they’d asked her to be taken into custody, which was approved.

The police investigated, that Pan had medical history of being diagnosed with bipolar, is currently unemployed, and got into a drug habit, lived with her mother, who has a mildly mental illness manual, also diagnosed with bipolar mother, and the two of them would argue a lot, over the smallest matters.  A week ago, after Pan had a verbal altercation with her mother, her mother kicked her out of the house, and changed the lock on the door, and so, Pan could only move in with her younger sister.

When the police interrogated her, Pan told them, that lately, her mother had come to her younger sister’s place to harass her, she’d gotten more and more furious, as she thought about it, two afternoons ago at five in the afternoon, she’d gone to the marketplace, bought a fruit knife, at close to six in the evening, she ran back to her mother’s house, after the mother opened the door, they’d started fighting again shortly; the mother just kept putting her down over, and over, and over, and cussed at her, “You are the one who was dragging both me and your younger sister down!”, in a moment of heated anger, she took out the knife, SLASHED her mother on the right side of her neck twice hard, her mother fell, and, blood came pouring out of her neck.

In the process of hacking up her own mother, she’d accidentally cut herself on the left side of her own palm, she’d dressed her own wound, and washed the knife off, sat on the chair next to her mother’s dead body, started using ketamine; she left, at around a little past ten in the evening, rode her motorcycle to her younger sister’s, she’d accompanied her mother’s corpse for almost five hours after she’d killed her.

The moment Pan saw her younger sister, she’d told her, “I’d saved you from your miseries!”, the sister became confused at what she meant, and, after she’d forced the truth out of her sister, she’d learned that her older sister had murdered her mother; after the younger sister consoled with her for an hour, Pan finally turned herself in to the police in the early morning hours.

The police investigated, that Pan had two prior records of domestic violence, four years ago, she’d injured her own mother with a knife, after the police were called, they’d reported the incident to the Department of Social Services; last year in September, Pan became verbally abusive toward her mother, the mother notified the police, but never got a restraining order.

The man in charge of the local borough said, that Pan’s parents were divorced when she was young, eleven years ago, her mother moved into the borough with her, and back then, Pan still had a job, but five years ago, she got fired, and took to drug abuse, and, that, was when everything started going south; because neither the mother and her had work, they’d lived off of the mother’s handicap payments by the government, as well as her younger sister’s support, and the two of them would often argue about money, and, every time when the mother was unhappy, she’d kicked her daughter out.

The police disclosed, that because Pan didn’t have any money, she’d often starved, in the first half of March, she’d once taken a knife, to rob a super convenience store, called, “I’m going to ROB you!”, begged the cashiers to call it in, because she wanted to be on the “free meal plans of jail”.

After the incident, Pan’s younger sister didn’t blame her, and, toward the inquiries of the outside, she’d started crying, told, that her mother had been emotionally unstable for long term, would kick the doors down, and use verbal insults on the two of them a lot, that they had a very unhappy childhood, “Nobody would kill her/his mother without reasons at all.”, this was all too painful, for her older sister too.

The coroner examined, that the cause of Pan’s mother’s death was from the loss of too much blood of the severing of her right carotid, as well as her windpipes.

And so, she finally CRACKED, and, this, is still a BUILD-UP over time, and, because the woman was high on drugs, she’d become impulsive, and, unable to judge her own behaviors, and this, could’ve been avoided, had someone STEP in earlier, but, it wasn’t, because this had gone on, for WAY too long, and this time, the woman finally CRACKED!!!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Domestic Violence, Downward Spiral, Family Dynamics, Growing Up Too Fast, Hindsight, Issues of the Society, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Lives Lost, Mental Health Issues, Murder, My Thoughts on Various Issues, News Stories, Observations, Rationalization, Social Awareness, Social Issues, White Picket Fence

Absorbing the Pains

This, is what those “sponges” do, isn’t it???

Absorbing the pains, this, is what we have the tendencies to do, after all, we’re all, drawn to the feelings of pains, and it still wouldn’t BE because we ENJOY torturing ourselves, oh no!

Absorbing the pains, we both had, it’s just, that you’d allowed your pains to consume you, to swallow you whole, to DROWN you, while I, I managed, to keep my head, above “water”, and survived.

Absorbing the pains, we all will, whether or not we like to, because that, is just how life goes, and, there’s NO way of changing the facts of how we will still be, absorbing the pains from our separate families of origins (and yes, they’re still the SOLE sources of OUR pains into the adulthood years too!).

Absorbing the pains, you won’t have to, because I will NOT allow for it (not even for you, Master!), because I had, absorbed ALL the pains of their former lives, and, it’d become burdensome, too heavy, for me to carry, but carried them, I still had, and it was still just, WAY too hard, growing up is the thing, and I will NEVER allow what had happened to me, to happen to you to, my dearly BELOVED, DEAD “daughter”………and no, she still doesn’t “exist”, not physically, at least.

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Filed under Childhood, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Family Dynamics, Growing Up Too Fast, Interactions Shared with the World, Lessons, Life, Loss, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, White Picket Fence

The Emotional Slavery

Here, everybody IS “created equal”, as everybody has an equal chance, of getting sold!

The emotional slavery, I was once, sold into, and, I’d become, the slaves of both their emotions, and, I felt suffocated, and slowly, I’d died…

The emotional slavery, it was, truly, very hard, for me, to overcome, to rise above it all, but, I’d fought, for my freedom, real hard, and finally, I’d set myself free, and, their emotions have absolutely NO effects on me again.

The emotional slavery, it’s an awful thing, to be sold into, because you’d have to be put through, the trials of someone else’s bad emotions, and you’re NOT even allowed to feel, to express, your OWN emotions, because you were taught, that it, is unacceptable.

The emotional slavery, I wonder, HOW many children are still being sold into?  Countless, and, there’s no way, that I can possibly, rescue them all, and yeah, used to feel very guilty ‘bout it too, but now, after I’d read that book of my own fate, gained an understanding of life, I’m able, to not feel so strong about it, so, that’s a kind of growth in itself, huh???

The emotional slavery, ANY parent is capable, and probably will, SELL their offspring into, without even being aware of it, and, it’s still, ALL the parents’ faults, because NONE of us, children asked to be brought out, onto this GOD DAMN FUCKING (oopsy!!!) P-L-A-N-E-T…

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Family Dynamics, Growing Up Too Fast, Lives Lost, Messed Up Values, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle

His Daughter Who is Very Thoughtful, on Parent-Child Interactions


My friend, Tseng, whenever he’d talked about his daughter, he’d become animated, his eyes would twinkle, so, what, exactly, is so special about the Tsengs’ daughter?

Tseng is the dentist in our town, because in the evenings, he’d seen his patients until very late, couldn’t get home until past ten, when Tseng entered his house, his daughter would bring him a plate of various fruits, to help him get rejuvenated; if it’s during the evenings of the winters, she’d lain in bed first, to warm up her father’s bed, in hopes, that he’ll get a good night’s sleep.  No wonder Tseng would gloat when he talked of her.

Tseng’s daughter already has a boyfriend, and, they’d all gone out together, if they’d gone outdoors, the daughter would walk in between them, holding her boyfriend’s and her father’s hand; and if they were walking on a busy road, the daughter would hold her father’s hand, because her father’s older, and needed her protection.

When Tseng became troubled by his work, his daughter would offer him a great big hug, and tap him lightly on the shoulders, tell him to keep working at it.  Tseng said, “When my daughter was younger, when she felt taken, I’d hugged her, tapped her on the shoulders, and now, the roles are switched, she hugged me now, it’s such an amazing feeling!”

As children are younger, they’d become attached to their parents, with the coming of age, they normally get farther, and farther away from the parents.  Tseng’s daughter is in her fourth year of university, and is still willing to be so intimate with her father, it’s truly precious.  And, Tseng’s joys also reminded those who are someone else’s children, to show the love toward their parents too.

So, this, is how close they are as a family, and, this must’ve started when the child was younger, and, she must’ve grown up, in a harmonious household, that, is why, as this woman grows older, she’s still close to her father.  This, is truly, hard to come by too!

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Values

Forbidden & Love, the Relativity of Literature for the Month of March


Feng-Ling Chou: my sex education came from the romance novels, in the time when those things were banned, they’d managed, to bleach out the desires too, and, there were only faces that were in romances or making love, everything else underneath the faces, were, left blank, this without the senses of the body kinds of novels, turned me into someone who’s also, without the senses of her body too, I’d once imagined, that if having sex is like using a quilt, or a towel, holy, holding it for too long, you’d start to pant, that’s real close, right?  Until middle school, a female classmate who’d matured earlier than most of our class told of the truth about sex, I was so shocked, and, ever since, I’d felt, that boys were impurities, that they’d taken baths or showers, without checking to see if they’d actually cleaned themselves up well.  Back then, most female students, after they’d started growing, weren’t wearing bras, and we’d still wore those white cotton pads, and, among us, if there were those who wore bras, they’d been called “evil”.  Actually, not wearing the bras will make you show, which will then, make others commit some sort of violations, I had been, attacked, once, by a strange man who rode up toward me on his bicycle, and I’d felt awful about it for a very long time, I really did want to kill myself for a very long time too.

After I’d entered into college, did I start, practicing wearing bras, but, it just couldn’t, prevent me, from getting violated, on my first date, I was still grabbed, and, I guess, that my relationships never lasted long because of this, I’d started running, as I was about, to enter into the carnal stages of the relationships I was in.  I’d normally not feel a thing toward men who are good looking, and, the boyfriends I had, each one was uglier than the previous, and, as I’d brought them home, my mother would often say, “Holy!  He’s so UGLY!”  Ugly men aren’t sexy, and, being in love with them, you must have a great deal of imagination, and pay the price too.  There are those, who have a good heart, despite their bad looks, but, meeting up with those who were ugly inside AND out, I’d ended up, badly.

The twisted views of sex stems from the twisted families of origin, inside those large families, there were, a ton of twisted interpersonal relationships, the first wives, battling it out with the second and the third, revenges of the sweet prince, a great aunt who’s kinda transsexual, a widowed great aunt, only my parents’ marriage was harmonious, and this had given me hopes in marriage, and still, the letter from my father a few years ago said, that it’s because of this sort of family, that he’d intentionally, distanced from his wife and children, so, we were, NEVER actually loved at all.  His hatred is hidden deeply, and, those families with more hatred than love can hurt someone for life, Ai-Ling Chang’s “I-Ching” described the sickness of the families, and I can totally understand.  As writers described this, there’s the need for the discoveries, and cleaning up, that, was the internal forces, working.

A family without love, only the mother’s passions, spreading the seeds of brightness and hope, but, we are totally opposites, and, it wasn’t, until I got married myself, did I realize, that my mother was where my light, and my passion came from.

Growing up in an all-girls’ school, I’d become retarded when it came to sex, and there’s this lax of love too in my life.

It was until I’m much older, did I know about the pleasures of the carnal nature, from before when I sought out the spiritual kind of love, there was, a bit of sympathy inside, the love that nobody wanted, I took in, there were one to two affairs I’d had, I was taken with men with amazing voices, the ones that sang; those who will whisper sweet nothings into my ears; those with the raspy voices………once I’d dated a man by phone for an entire year, and then met, it was more than satisfying, just to hear his voice, I’d treated love like adventures, tramped on, in the auditory sense, on the surface, all is quiet and at peace, but, there’s great danger inside of me, making even myself fear.  The infidelity of the married man is the funniest, they can only do, and not talk about it, if the wrong numbers were dialed, then, one would chicken out, get angry, return all the love notes, the gifts, or maybe, doing things, to hurt one another, this, is the tragedies, brought on by the auditory sense, and, it’s all, because of us, sound-chasers.

In order to end these sorts of dangerous relationships, I can only turn to marriage, the patriarchy is just as uncomfortable as the claw of the evil man.  When you marry in Taiwan, you’re NOT just marrying the man, but his entire family too.  My mother often said, that among us all, sisters, I’m the most mildly tempered, and, marriage had caused me to start rebelling, it’s better to say, that I’m not fitted for marriage, I’d run romance like it was the service industries, like how the fairy helped the good man make the clothes, after she’s done, she’s bound to leave, it was, one-sided kind of love.

And, I feel better with members of the same sex, this natural closeness, I was loved by girls once, and, there were many lesbians around me, and I am willing, to defend them, and, I feel complete empathy toward those who were not involved in the “normal” kinds of love, there’s really only limited knowledge about love that we have, and yet, we’d made it even more limited, the older I got, the more humble I’d become, toward love.  After age fifty-five, don’t know why, I started feeling ashamed about sex, but, I’d already had both, although, they’d come late to me.

Thinking back to my love, the “force fields of attraction” are quite odd, I’d only attracted some weirdos, maybe, I’m the weirdest of them all, this, is already, a fact, can’t be altered now, what’s meant by a happy marriage and a family is too far from where I am now, and maybe, I’d still had fantasies for a blissful romance and marriage, I’d often had fantasies about beautiful things in life, especially of love.  And, all I can find, was this merciful kind of bliss, being merciful to oneself, and to others as well.

My powerless love, and running away from it, had hurt some people, especially the father of my children, I’m really sorry, but he’d never allowed me to have it easy either, I hope, that my marriage can be completed before I turn sixty, returning freedom to each other, hoped that he could let it go, otherwise, it would be too difficult, to handle the assets, as well as all the weddings AND the funerals that came later on, I truly prayed, for resolution, the resolution of life.

So, this, is a woman’s view on love, as well as her experiences, and, love is a lesson, that not all will be able to master that’s for sure, and, this woman had been hurt, in her pursuits of, her experimentations of, love.

Fu-Ming Yang: on the topics of forbidden and love, to me, it’s the stories of putting up.  Since I was younger, I can put up with a lot, anger, noises, the weathers too………even holding it in, became a part of the lesson, I could hold it, to the point that my face turned white, and I’d started feeling the cramps, from seeing the Japanese cartoon, I could really feel the classmate, holy!  We both loved holding our stomachs, and bent over, we both had long-term gastric disorders.  In my old living room, the calligraphy was written, telling us to hold it in, holding it in, suppression became what we shared, and, silence became, the best way to communicate with one another.  And, after I’d held it in for very long, it’d become, natural, I realized, that I have great tolerances for discomforts, and I can adapt to all the adverse conditions in the world, with the tiniest amount of reward, I’d feel so happy that I was about to die, there were, several key moments in my life, when my friend reminded me: it doesn’t seem, that you love yourself quite enough.

During the two years in elementary years, I’d lived under the shadows of being bullied by three to four classmates constantly: the verbal abuses, the physical beatings, they’d threatened me, that they were going to pull me behind the elephant slide at school, and beat the shit out of me.  And even now, when I rode my motorcycle and bumped into them, although, we’re all married and with our own kids, I’d still feel somewhat scared, and, I’d get out of their ways, and, the fears are rooted, way too deep within me.  I couldn’t understand, why, I was picked on?  Perhaps, I’m smaller in frame, made good grades, is a model student, and still, I didn’t know how to fight back, and didn’t respond, so naturally NONE of my family knew about it, I’d just, kept it all, to myself.  Once, during the clean-up period before school was over, I was in the fifth grade, one of the guys had first, tossed my backpack into the hallways, I’d ignored him, kept sweeping the floors, then, a mop was shoved toward my face, yes, you know, the kind with the hop resembling a messy head of hair, I’d become forceful then, I knew that his mother sold fruits in our town, I’d gotten all shook up, warned him, “You want to, I will MAKE sure, that your mother’s fruit stand gets NO business tomorrow!”  Blindy’s mother is a hard working woman, in order to save up on the rents for the stands, she’d often changed places where she sold the fruits from, and still, I was raging then, don’t know how long I’d yelled at Blindy for, I’d realized, that he hid behind the doors(the door when the long sticks were kept), shaking like a leaf.  And I, was shocked, by my own wayward behaviors, and felt a TON of guilt, in the end, the very next day, I’d bought him a drink to apologize, to apologize, and he wouldn’t take it from me.

There are many stories of forbidden nature and of love, the story of taking it all in, there were, always who would be doing that.  My great grandmother who lived long, at age seventy, lost her husband, she’d lived until she was 102, she probably never thought she’d be alone for over thirty years of life, how did she put up with the loneliness?  And, they’d loved to compare, in the big families: the childbirths, the grades the children made, the size of their cars, I recalled, how when we’d gone to offering to the heavens, the relatives would prepare their own separate sets of offerings, actually, that, was a show-off of the assets too, they can compare the size of the animals being offered, and, how can I take this sort of competition all in?

I was never afraid of the dark as a child, not afraid of ghost, or the loud noises that those firecrackers made, but I’m afraid of the eight generals (the Eight Generals are gods, right?), from before the elementary years, I’d gone with my father, all over the temples in Tainan, and, the histories of offerings became my travel log, the locations of the temples became a geography lesson.  I’m like the bad ghost who’d done something bad, fearing getting caught by the Eight Generals, so, I’d hid in the entryways of the temples, I feared the white hell messenger, Hsieh.  That time, we’d gone to offer incense at Dragon Lake, Lioujia, before the sky is light, we’d set out, it was, a huge going on, the drums, the cymbals, everything, naturally, the Eight Generals are all there too, waited for the time to enter into the temple, and, everybody was eating breakfast by the car, and my mother took me, who just woke up, to the back of the temple to use the toilet, my mother went into the ladies room, I’d turned, into the men’s, and, as I’d stepped into the stalls, I’d found, the White Messenger from Hell was taking a leak too.

The stench from the urine, the buzzing of the air conditioning system, the fog in the mountain side of Tainan, made the white even whiter, and, the bell that the White Hell Messenger wore rang, he and I each took up a stall, the tall, White Hell Messenger, straightened up his back, and the tall hat on his head made him seem taller still, almost to the ceilings, I couldn’t help, but stared at his relaxed face, his hand.   Holy!  Did I see something I shouldn’t have??  I’d just, googled the white hell messenger, and learned, that on his long hat, other than the weird stitching, there were also four words—“lucky to see” in Chinese, perhaps, it’s a blessing for me then!

So, this, is from one’s childhood days, and, there are a lot that need to be sort through in one’s childhood days, but, most of the people, just left their childhood where it was, perhaps, it’s because of how painful it is, going through that part of one’s life, but, not all memories are bad, like this man’s interesting encounters in his childhood now, is it???

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Filed under Childhood, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Socialization, Story-Telling

Stating the Her Aunt is Her Mom, on Parent-Child Interactions


My eldest sister had always been a career woman, when her second daughter was born, her in-laws are already elderly, and couldn’t manage to watch her daughter, and so, she’d given her child to her sister-in-law who was living close by.  Sometimes, she’d come home too tired, and, just allowed her daughter to stay at her aunts.  And so, my eldest sister’s daughter became a daughter to her younger sister-in-law, and, because her sister-in-law didn’t have any children, they’d loved her daughter as their own, and, would call her “baby”, and, her niece would call her, “Auntie-Mommy” too.

But, there’s the after effect of this, several times, my eldest sister’s family came back home to visit, and, we bore witness to how when my eldest sister wanted to kiss my niece, she’d turned her head, and, had that look of disgust too.  This behavior, we didn’t pay it much heed when she was still pre-kindergarten age, we’d just blandly told my eldest sister, to watch her interactions with her own offspring.  Without knowing, that a couple of years later, my thirteen-year-old niece still interacted with my eldest sister like so.  A few days ago, I saw my eldest sister’s face, looking like she’s going through something difficult, we didn’t know what to say to her.

In my niece’s mind, she seemed to accepted that her aunt was her real mom.  And now, she’s living in school, and only comes home on the weekends, she’d run straight, to her aunt’s place, and stayed for the weekend there, and, when my sister wanted to see her daughter, she’d paid her sister-in-law’s house a visit, it’d made me feel bad for her.

Because my eldest sister’s earning had helped out with the household economics, my brother-in-law wanted her to keep working after the marriage, and, toward how his own daughter reacted to her mother like so, he couldn’t do anything about it either.

There’s no right or wrong in this matter, maybe, the ones directly involved didn’t feel something was up, after all, they’re all, related by blood, so long as they got along with one another very well, there’s nothing wrong with this sort of interaction style.  But, we’d hoped, that my niece no longer rejected kissing her own mother, to treat her own mom, and, her auntie-mommy equally.

And so, this, is what you get, for NOT spending enough time around your own offspring, just pawned her off on a relative, and, the parents are still not the one at fault, because the parents must work, to provide, and, it’s a difficult situation to manage that’s for sure!

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Filed under Connections, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life

A Hand-Wash Carwash


Xin-Yun had always had her small Toyota sedan washed at the malls, and, she’d just spent the last of her twenty ticket packages.  In the morning, at ten when she drove to the marketplaces, she’d passed through a certain hand-wash car wash, she though, that she could just drop her car off, walked to the marketplace, and afterwards, she could get her car back.

She’d parked the car by the side of the road, walked out, the carwash was a huge steel roof shack, about four storefronts, with three cars already parked inside, there were two stands by the door.  A man of around forty years of age walked out, very thin and tall, with a dark complexion, said to her coldly, “We have a lot of customers right now, you want to get your car washed, come back at four in the afternoon.”

Xin-Yun said, “Fine!”

The man glanced over at her license plate, said, “I’ll take down your license plate, at four in the afternoon, because it’s the New Year’s, the price will increase to $450N.T.s”.

Xin-Yun thought, four more days until New Year’s Eve, it’s normal for the car washes to hike up the prices, I’ll do something else now, and, drop my car off at four, and go shopping at the dusk market place.  She’d recalled how unrelenting the man who looked mean was, actually, he looked, like an awful person.  She thought about the shocking events from four days ago, the shooting at the jail that alerted every member of the public, of how the six escapees all committed suicide.  She thought, that maybe, the owner of this carwash is a reformed inmate who’d started his life anew.

At four o’clock, a woman was hosing a car parked by the entryway down, with her black slacks, tucked into her beige colored boots.  She’d hollered toward the inside, “Someone’s here!”

That man left what he was working on, said to her, “We have too many cars today, bring it by tomorrow.”

Hsin-Yun Said, “You told me to come back at four!”

The man walked to the office, picked up a notebook, nodded toward her, said, “Give me your keys/”, then, said, in a hard tone of voice, to the women who sat, face to face, at the desk, “Nothing to do, go wipe that car dry.”

Forty minutes later, Hsin-Yun carried the bags from shopping back to the carwash again, the man was busy, told her, “Your car just had the rinse, wait forty more minutes.”

Hsin-Yun told him, “Then I’ll sit down to wait.”, she’d found a chair by the desk and sat.

This iron clad roof shack was more simplistic than ever, even the desk, the chairs, are all worn too.  The man was cleaning off the windshield wiper of another car, she’d noticed, that he not only worked swiftly, and took care of the details too.  The cell phone rang on the desk, the girl who was wiping dry the Hsin-Yun’s car came to get it, flipped it open, and, took it to the man’s ear.  The man still busied about with his hands, said, “We can’t squeeze you in tonight, bring your car by eight in the morn tomorrow.”

Hsin-Yun said to the owner, “Boss, you have an amazing business.  As the New Year’s is about to come, everybody needed her/his car washed.”  He’d replied, “We’re like this regularly too.”

Hsin-Yun thought, that a hard working man, the heavens naturally blessed.  The woman who was rinsing the car off, petite, with a beautiful face.  The two girls who were wiping off the car, in jeans, slimly built, seeing their three faces, Hsin-Yun all of a sudden came to her senses, they’re mother and daughters, she’d misread the man of the house, it is, a family-owned carwash.  The cell phone rang again, the shorter girl answered it, “Dad, it’s Mr. Lin from the watch shop.”, the owner said, “Tell him to come get his car.”

It is, a family.  The two girls were wiping the water off of Hsin-Yun’s car, the shorter girl said to the taller, “Go wipe the backseat!”

Hsin-Yun asked the shorter girl, “Are you the older sister?”, she’d nodded.  Hsin-Yun said, “No wonder you’re giving out orders!”

The man said, “You two decide what you want for dinner.”

The older girl said, “Dad, what do you want?  You’d only had just two bites for lunch, you mustn’t skip dinner too.”

Hsin-Yun said, “You are way too busy.  Did your mother cook for you?”

The woman said, “I don’t cook at all, I don’t have the time!  We’d bought our meals out.”

Hsin-Yun saw that there was an ASUS laptop on the office desk, the two girls are probably college students, and during their winter vacation they’d helped the parents in the carwash.  She’d commended them, “But, both your girls are well-rounded, beautiful too!”

Smile curled up the couple’s faces now, the man said, “I’d just raised them.”

The younger girl called, “Dad, what, are we having?”, the man said, “I don’t know!”, the younger girl said, “You don’t know?  I won’t buy anything for you then!  Starve then!”, the man said, “You little BRAT!”

The harsher the jokes, it means that more tightly-knit the family members.  As Hsin-Yun left the carwash with her car, she’d lifted her head up to see the signs, “The Honesty Carwash”.

And so, this man kept his family well, and because he was able to manage his own family so very well, naturally, his business is well off too, because everything starts at the MOST basic levels, and, the most basic functional unit of the societies would be the families, and, this man treated his family well, and, the children are very well-rounded, so naturally, his business is well-off also.


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Filed under Connections, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Inspirational Tales, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Translated Work

Finding Out the Truth Behind Your Death

You were taken from me, too quickly, you were, brutally murdered by someone, and because of how young I was, they’d never told me the reasons behind your death, and, I grew up, with this VITAL part of my own history, missing…

So, one day, I was, sorting through those old and dusty files stacked up, in the attic, and, I’d, tipped a box over, and, everything inside fell out.  Something caught my eyes, it was, a picture of you, in your younger years, about my age right now, you looked, different, I don’t know what about it, but, there’s just something UP with that photograph of you, and, I’d tried to ask dad about it, but, he’d just, shrugged it off.  And, the questions about you, I’d kept, all to myself.

Then, I’d gotten a call, from someone, who claimed that he knew you, at first, I didn’t pay it too much heed, as you were very, social, or so I’d been told, and a little on down the line, the person, who’d called me to tell me that he knew you, bumped into me one day, and, he recognized me right away, as your daughter, I don’t know how, because everybody told me, ever since my younger years, that I looked more like dad than you.

It was, through the conversation with this “stranger”, that I’d gotten to know you better, I’d learned about the kind of persons that you were, before you met dad, and learned about, how your marriage to him, changed you, and then, everything just, unfolded…

Finding out the truth behind your death, I had, and, at first, I just, couldn’t come to the acceptance, that you were actually, MURDERED by someone who’s closed to you, someone who’d VOWED to love you, and, it took me, a very long time, to finally let you go, completely.

Now I sit here, in this big old chair you once sat in with me, as I flipped through, those pages of yellowed photographs with you in them………

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Letting Go, Loss, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Suppressed Memories