Category Archives: Aging Gracefully

Grace is Certainly Yours

Translated…

We’d watched two films on life and death, and before we pulled ourselves out of the scenes of the movie, my community college instructor announced that we are going to have an outdoors class, to Maokong, to have some tea and to have a hiking trip.

“The movie is telling us to live in the moment, and we must put that theory into action.”, the instructor encouraged us to do what we want to.

Our instructor is over age seventy, slightly on the heavy side, and would dress up colorfully for class, and, she’d especially enjoyed putting a huge bow on her curly head of hair, and sometimes, she’d have glitter on her hair, and would pull the bows to pointy, she looked like a Playboy Bunny.

“That day, my grandson had half a day of class.”

“My son’s working on his house, needed me to sit in, to keep watch over the progress.”

“What happens to mom’s lunch?”

Some of my classmates are swayed on what to do, some sighed about how they couldn’t be at two places at once, my teacher broke their worries one by one, “give your grandchild back to your daughter-in-law; your son will come up with a solution on his own; you must allow your husband to show his filial piety toward his own parents, at our age, we should put ourselves first.”

The classmates nodded their heads nonstop, and so the trip to Maokong was settled, my teacher smiled that smile of satisfaction.

And this reminded me of how one autumn, I’d gone to South Korea to travel, the red leaves are so beautiful, contrasted with the blue skies and the white clouds, but I saw a couple of old ladies, picking up the maple leaves, and, sticking them onto each other’s hair, their smiles are so deep that it’d made their wrinkles more apparent.  I was stunned, the beauties from the snowcapped mountain, along with the beautiful red maple leaves, paled by comparison to the elderly women’s blushed faces and white hair.  Even as time has passed too quickly, the graceful ways of those elderly women imprinted onto my mind.

A friend said, that she’d met an elderly woman on the bus, with her hair brushed up neatly, her brows shadowed, with a light mascara, she looked very lively.  And she’d asked her age, the elderly woman was already eighty-two, and, my friend inquired where she was going?  The elderly answered, “to the sales in the malls, they’re giving a huge discount on the eye creams!”, my friend was in awe, at how must zest and energy this elderly woman has.

Passed through the younger years, gone through the ups and downs of midlife, and finally, arrive at this age where everything became unimportant, no longer needed to rush, and so, let the things you should let go of go, with nothing on our minds, whatever we wanted to do, we just go and do, we’re number one.

Like the infectious community college instructor, or the grandma who chased after the red maple leaves on the mountains of South Korea, the elderly woman who still dolled herself up at the age of past eighty, how well they are living, so full of beauty, I’d wanted to give them all the commands, “Grace with age, it’s certainly yours!”

And so, this, is the way that someone can age gracefully, do what you enjoy, stop worrying about the younger generations, after all, they are, old enough, and just let go, and start enjoy your lives, because your days ARE numbered, and if you don’t enjoy them now, you won’t get a chance to again!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Maturation, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images

My Mother-in-Law Sings, a Story of a Family

Translated…

One time I’d turned on the television, and what I saw was very interesting, a woman, dressed plainly, sang the small tunes of Hakka, and had won the applause of the judges and the audience too, she’d won third place, it’d made me so very proud, because she is my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law is Hakka descent, she’d worked on the tear farm, helping to harvest the teas, and, naturally, she’d learned to sing the songs from the elders in her family, and, no matter how hot the sun was overhead, so long as she’d hummed those sweet little tunes, she’d feel cooled down, no matter how tired she was, her fatigue would get washed away by her own voice singing.

I think that the most interesting about my mother-in-law, is that no matter the situations, she could always manage to resolve it with her singing.  Once, we were making the rounds at the tea plantations with her, out came a couple of vicious German shepherds, acted as if they were going to attack us.

At which time, my mother-in-law started singing her songs, and, even those German shepherds would stop chasing the animals and stop, to hear her sing her beautiful songs, as her audience.  After she’s done singing, the shepherds had left quietly on their own.

As I’d bore witness to this, I was deeply in awe.  She’d told me, when she sang, she’s at peace, and, she could easily, infect everybody around her, with her sense of calm and collectedness.  I imagine, that, must be why she was able to turn those German shepherds around.

And, my mother-in-law is like the quick-to-react king of song, Di Chang, she could make up a short segment of lyrics, very entertaining.  Sometimes, when my child won’t stop crying, there was nothing that my wife or I could do to calm him down, my mother-in-law would use her wits to make up a song, to calm her grandson down.  And, just like the shepherds, after my son heard her, he’d stopped crying and fell, fast asleep, once again, she’d proven to us, the power of her singing.

I believe, that I’m beyond blessed to be able to have the affinity of becoming my mother-in-law’s son-in-law, to get a chance, to enjoy her wonderful singing.

And so, this woman used her hobby, to help her out of a jam, and, she’d managed, to entertain those around her too, that just shows how important it is, to have a hobby, not just to entertain someone else, but yourselves, mostly.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Connections, Family Matters, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization, Translated Work

Six Strategies for Aging Gracefully

Found on Yahoo.com, written by: T. Sightings, for U.S. News & Worldly Reports…

  1. Don’t Complain about It
  2. Don’t Harbor Regrets or Grudges about Getting Older
  3. Socialize with People Who Make You Happy
  4. Do What You Want
  5. Do it For Yourselves, NOT Anybody Else
  6. Look Yourselves in the Mirror, and Like What You See

And, here ARE my “dissections” of why these six are important, just like the columnist suggests.

First, if you complain about getting older, then, you’re not fully accepting the fact that you are aging, which makes it even harder, for you to adapt to the FACT (because it is!!!) that you ain’t gettin’ NO younger, and, if you keep on denying how your bodies are not supposed to deteriorate, blah, blah, you’d get totally, STUCK in denial, which prevents you from coping with getting older.

And, you shouldn’t feel that grudge against yourselves for getting older, after all, it is, a natural process, ‘cuz everybody grows old, and DIES, nobody will EVER be the exception to THAT rule, even IF you’d managed, to make that longevity pill those olden emperors searched their entire lives for, because they wanted to evade death.

Being around people who make you happy, that, is a must, after all, you’d already HAD a hard enough life, and, who wants to keep on putting on that bad face everyday for the rest of one’s life?  Nobody, that’s who, and this goes to show how important maintaining your social contacts is, just because you’re elderly, doesn’t mean that you should start becoming a RECLUSE, after all, humans are still a very social animal, aren’t we???  We sure A-R-E!!!

Do what you want, like if you want to go scuba diving, or skydiving, or whatever, take advantage of the now, stop putting off the things on that Bucket List of yours, and, you DO have a Bucket List, don’t you???

The last rule, stand in front of the mirror, and see your wrinkly, old selves, with hairs of white, and yeah, it might be too difficult, for all of you, who are still WAY too god DAMN superficial, which merely means, you should start “practicing” NOT focusing on the superficial aspects of yourselves, wrinkles, crows’ feet, sagging cellulose, building up around my flabby under arms, blah, blah, b-l-a-h!!!

Point is: NO matter how old you are right now, start mentally constructing, start giving yourselves, small doses of aging, because aging, is still an IRREVERSIBLE process, and, you would be, ‘bout three, to four minutes older than you were (I’m thinkin’…) before you thumbed across this one… STOP focusing on the superficial sides of yourselves, as everything eventually fades away, and the only thing that stays, would be your senses of the self, and, if you don’t have a strong one, then, boy, are you SCREWED or what!!!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Attitude, Awareness, Old Age, Perspectives, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life

More Beautiful as She Ages

Elderly are just soooooooooo adorable, aren’t they???  Translated…

If we’re older, can we no longer pursue beauty anymore?  I saw in my neighbor, Mrs. Hsu what it looks, to become more beautiful as one ages.

Mrs. Hsu is already eighty-five years old, she’d put her makeup on in the morning, with lipsticks so very red, with her long white trousers, her purple top, with a beige colored scarf around her neck, with a ton of energy, as she headed to the temples to offer her incense to the gods.  In the afternoons, she’d worn a fitting dress, showed up in the old folks’ activities center of the community, and sang those old tunes with a group of her friends.  In the early evenings, she’d gone strolling close to her home, and her bright-colored cotton workout outfits made her look as if she’s only sixty-something.

Mrs. Hsu once told me, “Getting dressed up is to encourage myself, a reminder of how blessed I am, to be living to this age, and so, I must keep myself active, radiant, every single day to not waste this gift from the heavens above; and as my offspring saw how energetic I am, they’d feel that I’m a cute elderly person too.”

She’s absolutely right, with the right amount of makeup not only make oneself look energetic, but also presentable to the outside world as well, the elderly need this especially.  Who doesn’t want to age gracefully?

So, keeping that positive attitude about life is still a MUST for aging gracefully, because this elderly person maintained her activeness, her involvement with the world around, that, is why she’s not among those in the elderly population that just stayed in their own darkened living rooms, with the televisions, turned on, get ACTIVE, that way, you’ll age gracefully too.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Attitude, Awareness, Expectations, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life

It’s Great to be Older

Positive attitude toward getting older here, translated…

All of a sudden, I’d felt, it’s GREAT to be elderly!  The elderly has NO one to tie her/him down, free to go as one pleases, without any wants or desires, no sadness or sorrows, no happiness, it’s such an amazing feeling.

The alarm clock had lost its purpose now, I’d gotten to sleep until I wake every single day, if I don’t want to get up yet, I simply, flip over, and fall back into dreams, and I get to sleep, until the sun is high up in the skies, I mean, it’s not like I have anything to get to that’s so urgent, even if I needed to go to the hospitals for my appointments, if it’s a small ailment, then, I can set up a good time, there’s NO need for me, to hurry to the hospitals now.

Only when we’re old, we’d understand what it means for things to flow along slowly and smoothly, life is the same too, no longer would I be rushed to do this or that, everything is done, at my liking, taking things slow and a step at a time, and I wouldn’t miss a step here or there, and, without missing a step here or there, I wouldn’t beat myself up then.

I no longer needed to rush to work, am my own “master”, the bosses, the superior officers, no longer will I work, for the sake of keeping my stomach full, no longer will I need to constantly keep an eye on other people’s moods, to not long for those looks of admirations either; I have an old friend, who too, worked as a reporter, after he’d retired, he’d decorated his study into an office, and had his wife deliver the menus, and he’d write off on it, to satisfy his own need to be a boss, that, is one way to do it all right!

Actually starting on the day of retirement, I’d felt the bliss from not putting on my tie or dress shirt in the morn; the elderly needed not to watch what one wears, so long as it’s clean and comfortable, and, walking with our casual shoes, very leisurely.

When we get to that age, why must we give a DAMN about cholesterol or triglyceride levels?  Just eat whatever pleases you, from time to time, let yourselves go, don’t be too stingy toward yourselves.  The movie Haute Cuisine after the famous chef left the private kitchens of the French president, he’d said something worth noting: living life is not about giving up on gourmet for the sake of health, the elderly, you might want to listen to her.

The elderly ride the busses for free, and gets discounts for the MRT along with the high-speed train fares too, if you want to go someplace, just pick yourselves up and go, go street shopping, go to the park, to see if the flowers are in bloom, and if the birds sitting on the nest eggs became a mom yet, play with those babies in the baby carriages, no matter if you’re going or coming, there would be priority seats for you, and nobody tries to get the seats from you, so comfortable.

Flipping through the papers, look up at the television screen, it’s actually just out of habit, you’d passed through a TON of ups and downs, maybe, there would be NO more news that can get you worked up, the weather’s changing to bad, typhoon is coming, it doesn’t make a difference to your daily living schedules, it’s just another change, and, with all those varieties as spices of life, it isn’t so boring at all.

Finally, I’d gotten all the time, to go to the libraries to read, and now, I will NEVER need to spend a cent on buying books; making a trip to the libraries, check out a few books I’m interested in reading, this can help me pass the time, and add to my knowledge base.  When it’s getting hot, might as well just stay in the air-conditioned libraries, and read books that fits my interests, in the cities, is just like in the oasis of a desert.

When I’m alone at home, I’d put on the operas from the fifties or the sixties, chased away the loneliness, if I’m in the mood, I can sing along too, and, it wouldn’t matter if I’m totally out of tune, the important thing is not to remain silent throughout the entire day.

Didn’t someone say, that the elderly should eat more fruits?  I’d changed into my going out clothes, to the marketplace, to shop for fruits and other types of groceries, picked a few bananas, a few kiwis and apples, a papaya, and a few oranges, after I’d paid, and was about to haul it home, the stand owner said to me, Mr. the fruits are too heavy for you, my husband will drop it off at your place a bit later.  I’m so spoiled, being watched out for and looked after.

The elderly should treat oneself kindly indeed, with a little less of those strict disciplines, laugh and cry as one pleases, I’m the only one that matter in my world, so, what if I get a bit stubborn at one time or the next?

The elderly would always forget things, the memories are deteriorating by the day, but, there are things in life, that you don’t need to recall so precisely, it’s okay to forget them, when one is about to leave this world, just take the good memories with you.

There’s nothing bad about being among the “gray-haired bunch”, there are a lot of people who don’t even make it, to see the day their hair become white, so, we must be even MORE optimistic, to not waste any of the days we have remaining, without worries of the future, and enjoy life in the moment.

After I’d retired I’d returned to Taiwan, and rented a place in the noisy streets of Taipei, the house is not only cramped, old, and it would leak too, but, I’m still living here with great pleasures.

……

……

……

Reviewing over my whole life, to this age, I can still receive this much respect and care and concerns from the world around, I’m truly thankful to the heavens above, but maybe, I should give more thanks to those kindhearted individuals.

This person has a positive view on aging, because he is still quite healthy, without problems of dementia or serious ailments, and, that, is a blessing, at old age, and, everybody wants to age like this person here, don’t we all???

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life

Dad Finally Smiled, with a Demented Elderly at Home

We are now, realizing, HOW important, aging GRACEFULLY is these days now, aren’t we???  Translated…

It’s been a long time since I’d seen my former colleague, Juan-Juan, I took the liberty, to visit her on the weekends.

That day, I’d arrived to her house, I saw her covered with sweat. I’d asked her what she’d been up to, she’d told me, that her father had a stroke, and was showing signs of dementia from time to time, he’d treated the living room as his bathroom now; she’d cleaned for over an hour’s time, then, bathed him, changed him into clean clothes.

She said, as she walked close, to her father, who’s sitting close by the shelves, bent down, pinched her father’s face, asked him, “Dad, does this feel better?”, her father smiled at her.

She said, when her father was lucid, he’d asked to see his grandchildren who lived close by, and can take care of himself in daily life. And when he’d lost his memories from time to time, he couldn’t recall anything, would forget where he’d placed his dentures, where the bathroom is in the house.  But, under any circumstances, after he was given his baht, and was asked, if he felt well, he’d start giggling with glee like a baby.  Juan-Juan believed that being able to make her parents smile is her biggest responsibility, and the most heartfelt time.

Thirty years ago, four years after she was wed, because her husband had an affair, she’d ended her marriage. She’d taken along her four-month old daughter and went home, thankfully, her parents disregarded her older brother and sister-in-law’s comments, and took her in, and she’d found a place to call home.

And, just like so, her parents looked after her daughter, so she can get work and make some money to raise her own daughter up. In these couple of years, the aging parents’ health started showing problems, and so, she could only quit her job, and poured her heart and soul out on taking care of her elderly parents.  Even though, her mother was overcome with an assortment of illnesses, she could still walk with her cane, to the park nearby her house.

Her father’s condition was not at all stable, sometimes, it would be better, sometimes, worse. When he’s at home, everything is under control, but, if she’d taken them out, the parents would become very nervous.  Juan-Juan told me, that one time, she’d gone downstairs, and the moment her father saw the car, his legs went limp, and fell to the ground, she didn’t have the time to react, plus her father is tall and heavyset, she couldn’t manage to get him back on his feet again, because of how stressed out she was.

At which time, her younger brother who passed by saw, and, instead of helping her with their father, he’d screamed at her, “The elder had fallen, what’s WRONG with you!”

This, was the very first time she felt helpless, over her father’s illness, and she’d started to cry, but thankfully, there was a male student with the uniforms from “Banciao High School” who’d passed by, and helped her get her father back on his feet again.

Ever since then, she’d found time, to go to seminars on how to care for the elderly, hoping to take good care of her aging parents, so they could enjoy their elderly years.

Juan-Juan believed, that her parents’ smiles is the biggest wealth of her life, because that meant they’re happy and healthy.

So, this still shows the hardships of having to care for one’s ailing parents, especially when the parents are overcome with problems of the elderly years, and yet, the daughter still feels satisfied, when her father started smiling, because that meant that he’s comfortable, and, keeping him comfortable and healthy is the primary goal here.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Awareness, Because of Love, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Family Matters, Issues of the Society, Life, Mental Health Issues, Moral Responsibilities, Old Age, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Social Issues, Teaching by Example, Values

Still Working His Way Around a Stage, at 90

He must really love his job then???  From the New York Times that came with the regular papers today, written by P. Healy

CHICAGO-during the first half of “Smokefall,” a critically acclaimed new play at the Goodman Theater here, the actor, Mike Nussbaum portrays a 77-year-old who is so wobbly that he needs help walking down a staircase.  Later the character is shown in his 50s, with Mr. Nussbaum bounding up those same steps.

The nifty visual contrast has only one drawback: Mr. Nussbaum actually is bad on stairs.  At 90, he is the oldest professional actor working in American theater.  And while he is pretty vigorous, his bad hip and scoliosis are enough to make him ride an elevator from his dressing room to the stage a few flights above.

“Racing around is risky for me,” Mr. Nussbaum said recently, his diminutive frame folded deeply into the corner of a sofa.  “But it’s fun playing 50 again.”

In a city of more than 200 theatres, Mr. Nussbaum is the guy who gets called “legendary” and “the dean of Chicago actors” in reviews and among his peers.

He recently won a Jeff Award, Chicago’s top theater prize, for his best supporting actor role in “Smokefall.”

A native Chicagoan, Mr. Nussbaum began performing at summer camp at the age of nine—he entered the stage doing a cartwheel, then froze in terror upon facing the audience—and briefly studied theatre in college, after serving in World War II.  But soon he was married and raising a family, so he chose steadier work: starting an extermination business.  He acted occasionally until his 40s, when he fell off a roof while killing wasps.  It was time, he decided then, to follow his dreams.

Nearly fifty years later, Mr. Nussbaum said he owed his career to having kept his word to Chicago producers and directors.

“I was supposed to be in an ‘80s movie called ‘Thief’ with Jimmy Caan, but I’d already promised to do a small Shakespeare role here for almost no money for Greg Mosher,” a Chicago and Broadway director, he recalled.

When Mr. Mosher was casting the drama “Glengarry Glen Ross” for Broadway in 1984, he turned to Mr. Nussbaum to play the supporting role of Aaronow, a salesman with a low self-esteem.

Enough small film roles followed in “House of Games” and “Field of Dreams” that Mr. Nussbaum was hoping to hit it big playing Pop in a 1990 television pilot based on the “Archie” comics.  It wasn’t picked up.

But Mr. Nussbaum isn’t complaining, “I’m lucky: Chicago has given me chances I don’t think I would’ve gotten in New York,” he said.  “There’s no real fame here, not like in New York, and your salary doesn’t go up when you win a Jeff, not like when you win a Tony.  But I’ve gotten steady work, great work, and all I ever wanted to do was act.”

For all his celebrity, Mr. Nussbaum has no showiness to him.  He is even a little shy in talking about his well-known habit of doing 50 push-ups a day.  After a recent “Smokefall” performance, he visited with audience members, and greeted their applause with a polite smile.

“They treat me like a member of the cast,” he said, “not some old person who needs a cane.”

And so, this elderly person, started his acting career late, but, because he’s doing what he loves, he’s full of energy and zest and doesn’t feel tired, having to get up in the morning, to go to work, and, how many of you can say the same, and remember, this, is a man in his nineties right now, and, how many of you, can still keep that zest about work when you get to this man’s age???  Exactly, so, there’s still a LOT we can take from this here.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Work Ethics

Unaware of Being Older

Because you’d kept that young state of mind, that, was why aging didn’t really have an effect on you, translated…

We took along our two kids, and the other family is a three-generation family: the grandma, the father, and two elementary school-aged children. We’d gone on this eight-day trip with a tour group, and because the kids are close to each other in age, we’d hung out together.  On the last day, we’d returned to the airports back home, the children from the two families are still unwilling to part from one another.  The dad hurried the child along, “Tell ‘great aunt’ goodbye, our ride’s almost here……” ha, I’m already “bumped up to” a “grandmother” now!

As our new friends left, the two kids hid their smiles away from me, when they’d heard the term, “great aunt”, they’d listed their heads, to find the person. I mumbled to myself, “My children call you ‘uncle’, why did you have your children call me ‘great aunt’………”, but, recalling this father who’s at least twelve years junior, he’d called me “aunt” all the way, until the end of the trips, and I didn’t bother correcting him, then, his kids would surely have to call me “great aunt” then!

Don’t know when it’d started happening, the sales rep at the wholesales place stopped calling me “Ms.”, instead, called me “Ma’am”; as I’d gone to shop for clothes, the owners would lead me pass the “one-size” racks, and took me into the more expensive, with the better clothes section; as if I’d become more cherishing toward everything now, wanted to save more time for my families, my kids; and those hard-to-deal with illnesses no longer just happened to my elders, friends my age started going in and out of the hospital wards, and they must be on certain meds consistently now; and, when I’d heard about some new diets, I’d wanted to try them out first; and when I’d heard about the heart palpitations, the insomnias that some friends are experiencing, I’d believed that I’m among the lucky ones who hadn’t experienced it yet, starting to feel that keeping up with my physiques is no longer that important , health comes first; and I’d told myself, “whatever! Those gossipers can talk.”

When the younger generations of children around me grew up one by one, started families, getting into careers, my very first group of students asked me, “Teacher, my child is about to be schooled, will he have you too?”, I recalled this child, like it was yesterday, when he sat crying in my classroom, with tears, gazing toward his families outside, who were about to leave him for the day, that, was the first day of elementary school for him! I’d always kept an excellent vision, with a slight case of farsightedness, and NO nearsightedness, a few years ago, I saw how the friends around me all got their old age glasses, I’d still felt it was incredible.  One day, all of a sudden, I’d needed the glasses too, and the moment I put on those glasses with the slightest measurements, it became real easy for me to read, and the world before me, lit up.

Really, am I getting older?

I’d always felt, that I can still walk really quick, and I can still hear very clearly, see very clearly too, with the amazing abilities to learn new things, and the students I taught still came, year after year, and they’re all children ages seven or eight, I’d never knew, that “maturity” would sneak up on behind me like this. Worked in this profession for almost thirty years, I’d all of a sudden, gained an understanding, of Confucius’s words, and because these years, I was so unaware of aging, it’s really because I have a ton of things to occupy my mind at work, the good, and the bad!

And so, am I, really aged?

So this, is one woman’s realization, because she’d managed to keep her state of mind, and her brains young, and so, there’s this inconsistency of how she looks to the outside world, and how she feels about herself.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Awareness, Expectations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization, Values

A Woman Must Keep on Being Beautiful Forever, the Features of a Woman

The self-confidence of a woman that continued, throughout her life, translated…

I’d gone to a life seminar with my younger sister. The flyer that introduced the lectures showed that the speaker has a TON of experiences, with a pair of beautiful bright eyes, long head of hair, plus her smiles looked so sweet, my younger sister couldn’t help but sigh, “Such an able-bodied, well-spoken, beautiful woman!”

And, this professional speaker had her back to the audience, fixing up the notes, in a white lace dress, which makes her shapely body even more. Then, she’d slowly, turned around, and, some people in the audience made an exclamation, my sister’s mouth fell wide open too.

“I was able to use a photograph from twenty, thirty years ago, and managed, to get ALL of you all to come today”. The namely speaker spoke, “I’m sorry, my son is almost fifty, and, you all can probably guess my age too.”, her opening statements were playful and funny, it’d made everybody smile.  The over two hours’ of lecture, but, I saw a very active elderly person, running to and from the podium, her words were witty, sometimes, she’d tilted her head, and, acted bashful like when she was a young girl, and it’d made the audience crack up.

“Do you think I’m beautiful?”, toward the end, the namely speaker asked.

“Beautiful!”, the audience followed her leading question. Not only the way she dressed didn’t show how old she was, and, the way she’d smiled through the whole forum, had made everybody happy too.

After the end of the seminar, my younger sister asked me to go to Ximenting to shop for some clothes. She said, a few days ago, she’d had her eyes on a white lacey blouse, she was putting it over herself in the mirror, and checking it out, when the owner of the shop stared coldly from the side and told her, “This, is for the younger girls, it’s NOT fitting for you!”

My younger sister who is usually very sharp tongued wanted to say to her, “Do you KNOW how to keep a business?”, or tell her, “I’m getting this for my daughter, is it any of your business?”, but she didn’t, she felt her face, flaring up from behind the ears, and she’d run out of there.

Is it that being just retired, she had NO need, to dress herself up again? Or, would a younger looking dress, on a mildly aging woman be that out of place?  My sister had been shaken up.  That day, when she saw the professional speaker in her seventies, dressed in the same style of clothing, it looked beautiful on her, so why did she let the shop owner belittle her?  She’d decided to buy the cloth, NO matter what the owner stated, she must be beautiful, for herself, once again.

We often say, “A woman dresses up for herself”, and it’s not age-related, I suppose! So, no matter how old the ladies get, you must, keep on being beautiful, for yourselves, and, everybody else who loves you!

And so, this woman changed her mind, after she’d gone to the seminar, where she realized, that she should NOT allow someone else’s opinions of her, get to her own views of herself.

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Attitude, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Lessons, Life, Old Age, Translated Work, Trends, Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

An Empty Nest, Filled with Happiness

Translated…

As a daughter, I’d gotten this simple wonder, and I’d passed through my childhood, with a heart of enjoyment.

As I’d become a daughter-in-law, a mother, I’d worked hard, to learn, for thirty years, it’d been a long and hard journey.

And now, my children worked hard, to study during the weekdays, to work, and on the weekends, they’re busy, dating, and, until their curfews at ten-thirty at night, they’d all flown back to the “nest”.

My husband and I utilized this time of “empty nest”, to go out hiking, to climb, to listen to the birds and the insects call, to chase away that scent of loss and of loneliness.

Last year on Mother’s Day, my daughter made reservations at a restaurant, said she was going to give us a surprise.

Turns out, it was, a huge surprise, their legendary boyfriends showed up together, one was working, one just finished his graduate studies, and was on his way to serve in the army.

They’d called out to us, with this timidness, “Aunt”, “Uncle”.

The first time we’d all met, it was awkward, we were all very nervous, I’d even called them by the wrong names.  After I’d downed a glass of lemon water, I’d soothed myself back down some.

As a mother, I’d worried, kept wondering, are my girls’ boyfriends treating them well?  Will they get married?  Will they love one another until the end of their days together?………

To help me feel more secure, I’d asked them over to the house for supper, had them help with the place settings, and, I’d made my observations in their interactions.

Sometimes, the “working class” carried over a winter melon planted by his parents, rode over on the MRT, he must’ve gotten weird looks from the other passengers I’m sure.

The “one serving in the army” learned that I was rehabilitating in the hospitals, he’d brought over a bag of hand-picked specialty herb on his day off.  Even though, my own family owned a Chinese medicine shop, I’d never seen this herb.  The stems were covered with pricks, I’m sure, he must’ve had a hell of a time, picking it then? Seeing how the two men are so ordinary and down-to-earth, my husband and I had finally let out a long breather.

Even though, they’re NOT yet sons-in-law, but, they look more and more interesting by the days.

Since, my daughters are engaged in love openly, and happily.  My husband and I continued hiking, going out to see the fields, and, my “empty nest” is also filled with a TON of happiness.

And so, this woman chose to use a positive attitude, to deal with her kids leaving, after all, they’re all grown, and had found good men, and so, she’s glad for them, and, she’d filled up her life with hobbies and things she’d enjoyed doing, that, was why she didn’t feel the strains of the empty nest.

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